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|
The Best Dirty Jokes: |
| 1) A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for
obvious reasons, kept it a secret... Show Complete |
| 2) Two deaf
people get married. During the
first week of marriage, they find
that t... Show Complete |
| 3) A girl
brings a guy home one night. They get
into her apartment and immediately s... Show Complete |
| 4) Q: Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
A: Cowboys
like to eat with their hats on.... Show Complete |
| 5) An American tourist went into
a restaurant
in a Spanish provincial city for
dinn... Show Complete |
| 6) One day, little
Mikey comes home from
kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mot... Show Complete |
| 7) A minister gave a talk to the
Lions Club on
sex. When he got home, he couldn't
t... Show Complete |
| 8) Winnie-the-Pooh is eating a roll. Piglet
arrives.
- Give me some roll, Winnie!
-... Show Complete |
| 9) An old man and his
wife lived deep in the
hills and seldom saw many people.
One... Show Complete |
| 10) A woman walks into her accountant's office and
tells him
that she needs to file h... Show Complete |
| 11) These two old men are in a nursing home.
They're talking and
realize that it's be... Show Complete |
| 12) A truck driver was pulled over
by a State
Trooper. The patrolman told him to get... Show Complete |
| 13) "Ever
since we got married, my wife has
tried to change me. She got me to stop
d... Show Complete |
| 14) What's so bad about being a dick?
Your
closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole, y... Show Complete |
| 15) Q: What's
the difference between a G-Spot
and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actuall... Show Complete |
| 16) Question: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down
his pants?
Answer: He heard the s... Show Complete |
| 17) Q: Define Transvestite:
A: A guy who likes to
eat, drink and be Mary.... Show Complete |
| 18) Are birth
control pills deductible?
Only
if they don't work.... Show Complete |
| 19) Women need a reason to have
sex. Men just
need a place.... Show Complete |
| 20) This guy
goes to the zoo one day. While
standing in front of the gorilla's cage,... Show Complete |
| 21) A guy is strolling along a sandy beach one day
when
he comes across
a very old b... Show Complete |
| 22) A husband and wife love to golf together, but
neither of
them are playing
like t... Show Complete |
| 23) Once upon a time, a guy was
sitting at a
bar.
He was throwing money around, giv... Show Complete |
| 24) A murderer,
imprisoned for life, broke free
after 15 years and was on
the run. H... Show Complete |
| 25) Little Mary was not the best
student in
Sunday School. Usually she slept through... Show Complete |
| 26) An old man approaches the window of a cinema with
a chicken on his shoulder, and... Show Complete |
| 27) The kindergarten
class had a homework
assignment to find out about something exci... Show Complete |
| 28) A guy went out on the golf course took a
high-speed ball right in the crotch. Wri... Show Complete |
| 29) An old man in a nursing home awoke one day
and
trundled down the hallway to the co... Show Complete |
| 30) At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate
that most adults are hiding at le... Show Complete |
| 31) A five year old boy and his grandfather are
sitting on the front porch
together,... Show Complete |
| 32) A market researcher called at a house and his
knock
was answered by a young woma... Show Complete |
| 33) A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They
talk, they connect, they end up leavi... Show Complete |
| 34) A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you
have to help me!"
The doctor asks,... Show Complete |
| 35) Two teenagers wander off to the bushes
during a softball game on the outskirts of... Show Complete |
| 36) Retired gentlemen went to apply for social
security.
After waiting in line for qu... Show Complete |
| 37) A man goes skydiving for the first time. After
listening to the instructor for
w... Show Complete |
| 38) Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing
home, having a smoke, when it start... Show Complete |
| 39) One day a man was sleeping and the neighbor's
little girl entered his house, woke... Show Complete |
| 40) A man walked into an appliance store and asked
the price of a 25" remote controll... Show Complete |
| 41) While away at a convention, an
executive
happened to meet a young woman who was... Show Complete |
| 42) Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along
a
country road one
night when al... Show Complete |
| 43) The Smith's were proud of their family
tradition. Their
ancestors
had come to Am... Show Complete |
| 44) Three Friends an Italian a German and a Greek
they decided to bet
it's other
100... Show Complete |
| 45) One morning while making breakfast, a man walked
up to his
wife and pinched her o... Show Complete |
| 46) A man wakes up early one morning and
decides
to go Bear hunting.
He tells his wi... Show Complete |
| 47) One day there were
two boys playing by a
stream. One of the young boys saw a bush... Show Complete |
| 48) One day there was two boys playing
by a
stream. One of the young boys saw a bush... Show Complete |
| 49) Three guys are
drinking in a bar when a
drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and... Show Complete |
| 50) A drunk gets
up from the bar and heads for
the bathroom. A few minutes
later,... Show Complete |
| 51) In a nursing home, there is this old woman named
Gladys who likes to walk around... Show Complete |
| 52) A retired
four-star general ran into his
former orderly, also retired, in a
Manh... Show Complete |
| 53) Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force
One. Bill looks at
Al, chuckles... Show Complete |
| 54) A couple
decided that the only way to have a
quickie while their ten-year- old... Show Complete |
| 55) One day a teacher was asking her class to use
absolutely in
a sentence.
So Janet... Show Complete |
| 56) Little Johnny walks into school one day to find
a substitute in place of his
reg... Show Complete |
| 57) Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair
when he
decided to stop and sit at... Show Complete |
| 58) A couple just got married, and when the husband
went back
to his house
he found... Show Complete |
| 59) A father, mother, and son were going to Europe
and were going to visit the nude b... Show Complete |
| 60) A Deaf mute walks into
pharmacy to buy
condoms. He has difficulty communicating w... Show Complete |
| 61) A truck driver was going down a steep incline
when, at the foot of the hill, he w... Show Complete |
| 62) On the first day
of college, the Dean
addressed the
students, pointing out some... Show Complete |
| 63) A bus stops and this old lady gets off and
complains to the driver: I was sexuall... Show Complete |
| 64) Two, old drunks in a bar. The first one says,
"Ya know, when
I was 30 and got a h... Show Complete |
| 65) An eighty year old couple decide to
try for
a child. They visit the doctor who as... Show Complete |
| 66) A couple was having some
trouble, so they
did the right thing and went to a
marr... Show Complete |
| 67) Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when
forty people from New
York City sh... Show Complete |
| 68) A
blonde arrived for her first golf lesson
and the pro asked her to take a
swin... Show Complete |
| 69) A man
got on a plane and sat next to a
blonde, after sitting for awhile she
sne... Show Complete |
| 70) While
participating is the Olympics a young gymnast had
her first sexual experien... Show Complete |
| 71) During a funeral for a woman
who had
henpecked her husband, drove her
kids half... Show Complete |
| 72) This old lady was complaining to her friend
about
a little problem she had with v... Show Complete |
| 73) Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his
girlfriend. "Every time we make lo... Show Complete |
| 74) The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier.
With considerable
bravery, the GI... Show Complete |
| 75) One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the
husband gently
taps his wife on the... Show Complete |
| 76) A little boy returning home from his first day
at
school said to his mother,
"Mo... Show Complete |
| 77) The blonde was at
the blood bank and sold a
pint of blood. As she was leaving cou... Show Complete |
| 78) Because of a bad case of hemorrhoids, a gay
bottom goes to his
doctor. The
physi... Show Complete |
| 79) Winnie and Piglet sit on the bank of the river
and smoke dope.
A crocodile comes... Show Complete |
| 80) The president got off the helicopter in
front of the
White House with a baby ho... Show Complete |
| 81) The night before her wedding, the
bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she... Show Complete |
| 82) A male market researcher was calling on homes on
behalf of Vaseline. A woman answ... Show Complete |
| 83) A 90 year man
finally gets to see a Dr. and
the dr. asks him what the problem is,... Show Complete |
| 84) Two old men were sat on a bench outside a
nursing home having a
chat. "How are
y... Show Complete |
| 85) A guy waiting at the bus stop wearing chains,
leather jaket, and leather pants an... Show Complete |
| 86) A guy
walked into the doctor's surgery for
an appointment. "Would you like
to t... Show Complete |
| 87) A guy goes into a costume shop. He says,
"I'm going to a
costume party, I want t... Show Complete |
| 88) A woman checked in at the pearly gates and
asked to join her former husband,
Wal... Show Complete |
| 89) A man walks into
a tattoo parlor and says he
would like a $100 dollar bill on his... Show Complete |
| 90) "Hello?" the blonde responded answering the
phone. Hearing no response, she repea... Show Complete |
| 91) A woman
went to the doctor and complained
that she was suffering from I knee
pa... Show Complete |
| 92) An elderly woman
decided to have her
portrait painted. She told the artist "Paint... Show Complete |
| 93) A knight and his
men returned to their
castle after a hard day of fighting. "How... Show Complete |
| 94) An old couple in an old folks home are having an
affair, nothing much
they just s... Show Complete |
| 95) This women had a magic morror from which
anything you wanted you got,so one day s... Show Complete |
| 96) A lady walks
into the dentist's office,
takes off her underwear, sits down on the... Show Complete |
| 97) Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the
town's morals, publicly accused her... Show Complete |
| 98) My wife rushed into the supermarket to pick up a
few items.
She headed for the
e... Show Complete |
| 99) Two Marines were sitting around talking one day.
The
first Marine asked the secon... Show Complete |
| 100) There are a
lot of folks that can't
understand how we ran out of oil here in the... Show Complete |
| 101) As a hooker
was dressing, she turned to her
customer and asked, "Have you just
g... Show Complete |
| 102) A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a
big
problem, doctor."
"... Show Complete |
| 103) Two postmen are on break having a cigarette.
While on this break one postman says... Show Complete |
| 104) This woman goes into a dentist's office,
after he is through examining her he say... Show Complete |
| 105) A big fat housewife is on her hands and
knees, scrubbing the kitchen
floor, whe... Show Complete |
| 106) A little girl goes to the barber shop with her
father. She stands directly next... Show Complete |
| 107) There were
these three little old ladies
sitting on a park bench minding their ow... Show Complete |
| 108) Two elderly gentlemen, Sam and Harry, were
having
breakfast. Sam said to Harry,... Show Complete |
| 109) Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist.
As he leans over to begin working... Show Complete |
| 110) A young woman goes to her doctor
complaining
that the insides of her upper thighs... Show Complete |
| 111) Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How
much for a blow job
?".
"Hundred B... Show Complete |
| 112) A
husband and wife are in bed watching "Who
Wants to be a Millionaire".
The hu... Show Complete |
| 113) A blonde is suffering from a
sore throat so
she goes to see the doctor. She expla... Show Complete |
| 114) Two elderly Southern women are
sitting on
the veranda sipping lemonade and
remi... Show Complete |
| 115) A little
old lady shaking violently as she
walks in to the pharmacy asks the
sa... Show Complete |
| 116) An elderly man visits his
doctor.
"Doctor, I would like you to examine me to see... Show Complete |
| 117) Scott finally got his
girlfriend into bed,
and things were going hot and heavy.... Show Complete |
| 118) A blonde and a brunette were talking. The
brunette complained, "Everytime my boyf... Show Complete |
| 119) A blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her
what she would like, and she rep... Show Complete |
| 120) Three blondes are
sitting on a park bench
eating ice cream cones. One is sucking... Show Complete |
| 121) Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to
"iron," then we could do without th... Show Complete |
| 122) A
man and woman are riding up in an
elevator.
The man looks at the woman and s... Show Complete |
| 123) A man comes home from work one night to catch
his blonde
girlfriend sliding down... Show Complete |
| 124) An angry husband returned home one night to find
his wife
in bed with a naked man.... Show Complete |
| 125) Why
did the former porn actor get fired from
his job as a gas station
attendant... Show Complete |
| 126) Q: What is it that
all men have one of;
it's longer on some men than on others; t... Show Complete |
| 127) Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife,
meat, eggs, blow job?
A: The blo... Show Complete |
| 128) A man went into a store to buy some condoms.
"That's 1 dollar
15 plus tax," said... Show Complete |
| 129) Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and
then turn around and come home?... Show Complete |
| 130) Q:
What can you find in a man's pants that
is about six inches long, has
a head... Show Complete |
| 131) This blonde and her boyfriend
were sitting
in a hot tub when the blonde said to h... Show Complete |
| 132) Question: What is the difference between a woman
in church and a woman in a batht... Show Complete |
| 133) Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp,
and
another blonde standing on a street c... Show Complete |
| 134) Whats the difference
between a bitch and a
whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at... Show Complete |
| 135) A dentist friend of mine
had a T-shirt which
said on the front: Let me put my too... Show Complete |
| 136) Q: Why do saunas remind some people of
blonde's?
A: Because they're both steamin... Show Complete |
| 137) I was making love to this girl and she started
crying. I said, "Are you going to... Show Complete |
| 138) Q: What do
electric trains and breasts have
in common?
A: They're intended for c... Show Complete |
| 139) Q: What is the difference between a hog
and
a man?
A: A hog doesn't have to sit... Show Complete |
| 140) Why are electric trains like a
mother's
breasts?
They were both designed for the... Show Complete |
| 141) Question: Why do men always give their penis a
name?
Answer: Because they don't wa... Show Complete |
| 142) Q:
How would a blonde punctuate the
following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry
worry"... Show Complete |
| 143) What does KFC and a woman have in
common?
Once you're done with the breasts and th... Show Complete |
| 144) Q: How can you tell who is a
blonde's
boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the bel... Show Complete |
| 145) Q: What's the difference between
a blonde
and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick... Show Complete |
| 146) Q: What's the difference between getting a
divorce and getting circumcised?
A: W... Show Complete |
| 147) Q: Why did god give blonde's 2 more
brain
cells than he gave cows?
A: So they wo... Show Complete |
| 148) Why is the space between a
woman's breasts
and her hips called a waist?
Because... Show Complete |
| 149) Male secretary : "Feel free to use my
dictaphone."
New blonde employee : "No th... Show Complete |
| 150) Q: Whats the difference between erotic and
kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a fea... Show Complete |
| 151) What did one saggy boob say to the other
saggy boob?
If we don't get some suppor... Show Complete |
| 152) Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and
sex education on the same day in I... Show Complete |
| 153) Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than
horses?
A: Because he didn't want t... Show Complete |
| 154) Why do
hunters make the best lovers?
Because they go deep in the bush, shoot mo... Show Complete |
| 155) Q: How many perverts does it take to
put in
a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it ta... Show Complete |
| 156) Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You
never know when he's coming, how many inc... Show Complete |
| 157) Q: How is a penis like
fishing?
A: The
small ones you throw back, the medium one... Show Complete |
| 158) Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an
office?
A: A bed in the stockroom... Show Complete |
| 159) Question: What's the difference between sin and
shame?
Answer: It is a sin to pu... Show Complete |
| 160) Q: Whats
the difference between a 90s woman
and a - computer?
A: A 90s woman wo... Show Complete |
| 161) Q: Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to
squeeze his
left testicle?
A:... Show Complete |
| 162) Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in
common?
A: If either one of them end... Show Complete |
| 163) Q: What's the difference
between a Catholic
wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholi... Show Complete |
| 164) Q: What do you get when you mix a rooster with a
telephone pole?
A: A 30ft cock... Show Complete |
| 165) Q: What's the difference between a blonde and
an ironing
board?
A: It's difficu... Show Complete |
| 166) What did
the egg say to the boiling
water?
"How can you expect me to get hard so... Show Complete |
| 167) Whats the difference between premenstrual
tension
and BSE?
One's mad cow diseas... Show Complete |
| 168) Q: What's the difference between a chorus line
of blondes and a
magician?
A: A m... Show Complete |
| 169) What's the difference between a rooster and a
hooker?
a rooster says cocka-doodl... Show Complete |
| 170) Q: What did the blind blonde say as she was
making love with her new boyfriend?... Show Complete |
| 171) Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for
screwing?
A: The balls are lighter,... Show Complete |
| 172) What is the difference between a frog and a
horny
toad?
One says ribbit ribbit,... Show Complete |
| 173) Wife: "Why don't you ever callout my name when
we're making love?" ! Husband: "Be... Show Complete |
| 174) Q: What's the ultimate
embarrassment for a
blonde?
A: When her ben-wa balls s... Show Complete |
| 175) What is the difference
between a drug pusher
and a prostitute?
A prostitute can... Show Complete |
| 176) Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT IF YOU GO TO A WOMAN
AND TELL HER, HER HAIR SMELLS NICE... Show Complete |
| 177) Q: What is the definition
of the perfect
woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymp... Show Complete |
| 178) Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a
broom closet?
A: Only two men fi... Show Complete |
| 179) Q: What do men and sperm
have in
common?
A:They both have a one-in-a-million cha... Show Complete |
| 180) Q: What did the blonde do
when she got her
period?
A: Looked around for the b... Show Complete |
| 181) I love the lines men use to get us into bed.
"Please,
I'll only put it in for a m... Show Complete |
| 182) Q: What do a coffin and a condom
have in
common?
A: They're both filled with sti... Show Complete |
| 183) What did the egg say to the boiling
water?
"It might take me a while to get hard I... Show Complete |
| 184) Q: What do you call a brunette and three
blondes in a corner?
A: You don't, yo... Show Complete |
| 185) Q. What
did the blonde's left leg say to
her right leg? A: Between the two of
u... Show Complete |
| 186) What do a
pizza delivery man and a
gynecologist have in common?
They can both sm... Show Complete |
| 187) What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's
batteries in backwards?
He keeps com... Show Complete |
| 188) Whats the difference between oral sex
and
anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, an... Show Complete |
| 189) Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and
a blonde?
A: When you slap a mos... Show Complete |
| 190) Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful,
provided you
get between the righ... Show Complete |
| 191) Q: What's the difference
between Indiana
and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger... Show Complete |
| 192) Q: What does the Bermuda
Triangle and
blondes have in common?
A: They've both... Show Complete |
| 193) Q: Why is being in the
military like a blow
job?
A: The closer you get to discha... Show Complete |
| 194) Q: What
does pizza delivery man and a
gynecologist have in common?
A: Both can s... Show Complete |
| 195) What are
the two greatest lies?
"The
check is in the mail," and "I promise I won... Show Complete |
| 196) Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a
phone booth?
A1: You need a qu... Show Complete |
| 197) Q: Did you hear about the new
blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but it's c... Show Complete |
| 198) Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A:
Give him a used tampon and ask him whi... Show Complete |
| 199) Q: What's
the difference between a blonde
and McDonald's?
A: A blonde serves m... Show Complete |
| 200) Q:
WHY CAN`T BLONDES WATER-SKI?
A: When
they get their crotch wet they think the... Show Complete |
| 201) Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up
in the morning?
A: They don't h... Show Complete |
| 202) Q: What does a
screen door and a blonde have
in common?
A: The more you bang i... Show Complete |
| 203) Q. What does a woman's asshole do when she is
having an orgasm?
A. He is usually... Show Complete |
| 204) Q: What does a 75-year-old woman
have
between her breasts that a 25-year-old does... Show Complete |
| 205) Q: What does a blonde answer to the question
"Are
you sexually active?"
A: "No... Show Complete |
| 206) Why were men given larger brains
than
dogs?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs a... Show Complete |
| 207) Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A1:
(Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: B... Show Complete |
| 208) Q: Why
did the blonde give a blow job after
sex?
A: She wanted to have her co... Show Complete |
| 209) What did the
hurricane say to the coconut
tree?
Hold unto your nuts-This is no o... Show Complete |
| 210) Q: What's the difference between a
counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: On... Show Complete |
| 211) Q: Mom's have Mother's Day,
Father's have
Father's Day. What do single guys have?... Show Complete |
| 212) Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a
toilet have in common?
A: Men usuall... Show Complete |
| 213) Q:
What did the Indian say to the white
woman when she tied his penis in a
knot... Show Complete |
| 214) How do you know you're leading a sad
life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's j... Show Complete |
| 215) Q: Why do blonde's
get confused in the
ladies room?
A: They have to pull their... Show Complete |
| 216) Q: What did the
elephant say to the naked
man?
A: It's cute but can you pick up... Show Complete |
| 217) Q: What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts,
and can make a girl fat? A: Almon... Show Complete |
| 218) Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a
condom?
A: So she can have a doggie... Show Complete |
| 219) Q: Did you hear the slogan for the the new
"Stealth Condom?"
A: "They'll never s... Show Complete |
| 220) Q: What did Bill Clinton say to Monica?
A: I
told you to lick my erection, not wre... Show Complete |
| 221) What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"I
don't know why you're shaking...she's... Show Complete |
| 222) Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls
down her panties and slides her ass al... Show Complete |
| 223) Did you ever
blow bubbles as as child? Yeh,
well he's back in town and wants your... Show Complete |
| 224) Q: What is a
bellybutton for?
A: It
gives a blonde a place to park her gum on... Show Complete |
| 225) Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the
world to have?
A: One that never mis... Show Complete |
| 226) Why
does a bride smile when she walks up the
aisle?
She knows she's given her l... Show Complete |
| 227) How many
men does it take to put the toilet
seat down?
Nobody knows, it hasn't h... Show Complete |
| 228) Q: What do blondes and
cow-pats have in
common?
A: They both get easier to pick-... Show Complete |
| 229) Whats the definition of love,
true love, and
showing off?
Spitting, swallowing a... Show Complete |
| 230) Q: Why did the blonde make love in the
microwave?
A: She wanted to have a baby i... Show Complete |
| 231) Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm
white?
A: So he can tell if he is comin... Show Complete |
| 232) Q: What is the difference between
medium and
rare?
A: 6 inches is medium, 8 inch... Show Complete |
| 233) Q: What are the
small bumps around a woman s
nipples for?
A: It's Braille for '... Show Complete |
| 234) How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them
spend more time in your wallet than on... Show Complete |
| 235) Q: What do you call a blonde
that can suck a
golfball through a water hose?
A:... Show Complete |
| 236) What is the definition of 'making love'?
Something a woman does while a guy is f*... Show Complete |
| 237) Whats the difference between your wife and your
job?
After 10 years, the job st... Show Complete |
| 238) Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out
of a
blonde's mouth?
A: Einste... Show Complete |
| 239) Did you hear the one about the blonde who
thought that "love handles" referred to... Show Complete |
| 240) Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A.
Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it... Show Complete |
| 241) Q: Did you hear
about the conceited
blonde?
A: She screams her own name when s... Show Complete |
| 242) Q: How do you get a
blonde pregnant?
A:
Come in her shoes and let the flies do t... Show Complete |
| 243) Q: Why don't women have
men's
brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to put... Show Complete |
| 244) Q: What is a four-letter
word that ends in
'k' and means the same as intercourse?... Show Complete |
| 245) Q: Why did the blonde have
a
hysterectomy?
A: She wanted to stop having grandc... Show Complete |
| 246) Q: What can a
goose do, a duck can't, and a
lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up... Show Complete |
| 247) What's the difference between a penis and a
bonus?
Your wife will always blow your... Show Complete |
| 248) Q: WHY DON`T
BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX?
A:
They don`t like their brains being screwe... Show Complete |
| 249) Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her
virginity?
A: Her crayons are still... Show Complete |
| 250) Q: How does the blond turn on the light after
she has had sex?
A: She opens the ca... Show Complete |
| 251) Why is
sex like a game of bridge? -You
don't need a partner if you have a good... Show Complete |
| 252) What should you do
if your girlfriend starts
smoking?
Slow down and use a lubri... Show Complete |
| 253) Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her fore... Show Complete |
| 254) What do you get when you cross an Owl
and a
Rooster?
A cock that stays up all ni... Show Complete |
| 255) Q: What is the one thing you will never hear a
man say? A: Her tits are just too... Show Complete |
| 256) Did u know that a condom had a serial number?
No, I never
had to unroll one that... Show Complete |
| 257) Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
When she takes
it off, you wonder where her tits we... Show Complete |
| 258) Q: What do you call a blonde with a
bag of
sugar on her head?
A: Sweet fuck a... Show Complete |
| 259) They now have an Italian airline that flies out
of Genoa.
It's called Genitali... Show Complete |
| 260) Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black hole... Show Complete |
| 261) Q: Why is a blonde like
Australia?
A:
They're both down under, and no one care... Show Complete |
| 262) What's the ultimate rejection?
When you're
masturbating and your hand falls asleep... Show Complete |
| 263) Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A:
Because they are plugged into a genius... Show Complete |
| 264) Why is Viagra like Disneyworld? - You have to
wait an hour
for a three minute rid... Show Complete |
| 265) Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in
common?
A: They are both substitute meats... Show Complete |
| 266) Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no
big deal unless you're not getting any.... Show Complete |
| 267) Q: Why do men find it
difficult to make eye
contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.... Show Complete |
| 268) Q: How does a blonde prepare for safe
sex?
A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.... Show Complete |
| 269) Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
He heard the snow blower coming.... Show Complete |
| 270) Why don't bunnies make noise when they make
love?
Because they have cotton balls.... Show Complete |
| 271) Q: Why do men have a hole in their penis?
A:
So they can think with an open mind.... Show Complete |
| 272) Q: What do blondes do
after they comb their
hair?
A: They pull up their pants.... Show Complete |
| 273) If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the
bird of true love?
The swallow.... Show Complete |
| 274) Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his
condom?
A: To keep the swelling down.... Show Complete |
| 275) Why is food better than men?
Because you
don't have to wait an hour for seconds.... Show Complete |
| 276) What are three words you dread the most while
making love?
"Honey, I'm home."... Show Complete |
| 277) Q: How do you
know a blonde likes you?
A:
She screws you two nights in a row.... Show Complete |
| 278) Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches
orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!... Show Complete |
| 279) Q: Why don't men fake orgasm?
A: Coz no man
would pull those faces on purpose.... Show Complete |
| 280) Q: What is 68 to a blonde?
A: Where she
goes down on you and you owe her one.... Show Complete |
| 281) Q:
What did the cannibal do after he dumped
his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.... Show Complete |
| 282) Q: What's the definition
of a
teenager?
A: God's punishment for enjoying sex.... Show Complete |
| 283) Q: What is
that insensitive bit at the base
of the penis called?
A: The man.... Show Complete |
| 284) What have men and spray paint in common?
One
squeeze and they're all over you.... Show Complete |
| 285) Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest
children?
A: Ask your mother.... Show Complete |
| 286) What did Adam say to Eve?
Stand back, I
don't know how big this thing gets!... Show Complete |
| 287) Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS?
A: When they
aren't upright, they're grand.... Show Complete |
| 288) Men are like cement.
After getting laid, they
take a long time to get hard.... Show Complete |
| 289) Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?
A: So
they know when to stop having sex.... Show Complete |
| 290) How did Dairy Queen get
pregnant?
Burger
King didn't cover his Whopper.... Show Complete |
| 291) Why did God create women?
To carry semen
from the bedroom to the toilet.... Show Complete |
| 292) Q: How does
a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.... Show Complete |
| 293) Q. What do you call 1,000 heavily armed
lesbians?
A. Militia Etheridge... Show Complete |
| 294) Q: What do you call 4 blondes laying on the
beach?
A: Public access.... Show Complete |
| 295) Q: How do you find a blind man
in a nudist
colony?
A: It's not hard.... Show Complete |
| 296) Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and
PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.... Show Complete |
| 297) Q . what did the sign on the whore house
say?A: Beat it we are closed... Show Complete |
| 298) Q: What does a blonde say after multiple
orgasms?
A: Way to go team.... Show Complete |
| 299) Question: What do you call a lesbian
dinosaur?
Answer: A Lickalotopus.... Show Complete |
| 300) Q: Why are men like laxatives?
A: They
irritate the shit out of you.... Show Complete |
| 301) Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You
skip across the flat ones.... Show Complete |
| 302) Question: What's another name for pickled
bread?
Answer: Dill-dough.... Show Complete |
| 303) Question: What do you call a
gay
dinosaur?
Answer: Mega-sore-ass.... Show Complete |
| 304) What is it when a man talks dirty to
a
woman?
Sexual harassment.... Show Complete |
| 305) Q: What do you call a truckload
of
vibrators?
A: Toys for Twats.... Show Complete |
| 306) What's the speed limit of sex?
68; at 69 you
have to turn around.... Show Complete |
| 307) Q. What has
seventy-five balls and screws
old ladies?
A. Bingo!... Show Complete |
| 308) Why did the condom
cross the
road?
Because it was pissed off.... Show Complete |
| 309) Q: Whats the difference between
purple and
pink?
A: The grip.... Show Complete |
| 310) If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no
sex life at all.... Show Complete |
| 311) Q: What did the blonde say
during a
porno?
A: "There I am!"... Show Complete |
| 312) Why don't
women blink during
foreplay?
They don't have time.... Show Complete |
| 313) Q: What do blonde's have against
condoms?
A: Their cheeks.... Show Complete |
| 314) Q: What's one thing everybody sees in
a
blonde?
A: A dick.... Show Complete |
| 315) Question: What
do elephants use for
tampoons?
Answer: Sheep.... Show Complete |
| 316) What is it when a woman talks dirty to a
man?
$3.99 a minute.... Show Complete |
| 317) Q: What
did the leper say to the
hooker?
A: Keep the tip.... Show Complete |
| 318) Q: What do you call two blondes in a
canoe?
A: Fur traders.... Show Complete |
| 319) Q:
What are 3 two letter words that say
small?
A: Is it in.... Show Complete |
| 320) Q: Why
do blondes always drink with
straws?
A: Practice.... Show Complete |
| 321) Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering????
A:
More head room... Show Complete |
| 322) Why are condoms like cameras? -they both capture
the moment.... Show Complete |
| 323) Why do men
masturbate?
It's sex with
someone they love.... Show Complete |
| 324) Q: How does a horny guy spell
relief?
A: B-L-O-N-D-E.... Show Complete |
| 325) How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
Phone her.... Show Complete |
| 326) Q: Why do women have tits?
A: So men will
talk to them.... Show Complete |
| 327) Q: What do you call kinky sex with
chocolate?
A: S&M&M.... Show Complete |
| 328) Q: How do you get a blonde off of your
knees?
A: Come.... Show Complete |
| 329) Q: What is 61 to a blonde?
A: She wants 8
(ate) more.... Show Complete |
| 330) What's long, hard, and has semen in it?
A
submarine!... Show Complete |
| 331) You know
the worst thing about oral sex? The
view.... Show Complete |
| 332) Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A
waste.... Show Complete |
| 333) What do hookers do on their night off:
type?... Show Complete |
| 334) What's organic dental floss?
Pubic hair!... Show Complete |
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