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The Best Dirty Jokes: |
| 1) A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for
obvious reaso... Show more |
| 2) Question: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down
his pants?
An... Show more |
| 3) An old man and his
wife lived deep in the
hills and seldom sa... Show more |
| 4) This guy
goes to the zoo one day. While
standing in front of... Show more |
| 5) A guy is strolling along a sandy beach one day
when
he comes... Show more |
| 6) A husband and wife love to golf together, but
neither of
them... Show more |
| 7) Once upon a time, a guy was
sitting at a
bar.
He was throwi... Show more |
| 8) A murderer,
imprisoned for life, broke free
after 15 years an... Show more |
| 9) Little Mary was not the best
student in
Sunday School. Usuall... Show more |
| 10) An old man approaches the window of a cinema with
a chicken o... Show more |
| 11) The kindergarten
class had a homework
assignment to find out... Show more |
| 12) A guy went out on the golf course took a
high-speed ball righ... Show more |
| 13) An old man in a nursing home awoke one day
and
trundled down t... Show more |
| 14) At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate
that most adu... Show more |
| 15) A five year old boy and his grandfather are
sitting on the fr... Show more |
| 16) A market researcher called at a house and his
knock
was answ... Show more |
| 17) A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They
talk, they connec... Show more |
| 18) A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you
have to help me!... Show more |
| 19) Two teenagers wander off to the bushes
during a softball game... Show more |
| 20) Two deaf
people get married. During the
first week of marriag... Show more |
| 21) Retired gentlemen went to apply for social
security.
After wa... Show more |
| 22) A girl
brings a guy home one night. They get
into her apartme... Show more |
| 23) A man goes skydiving for the first time. After
listening to t... Show more |
| 24) Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing
home, having a... Show more |
| 25) An American tourist went into
a restaurant
in a Spanish provi... Show more |
| 26) One day, little
Mikey comes home from
kindergarten for lunch.... Show more |
| 27) A woman walks into her accountant's office and
tells him
that... Show more |
| 28) One day a man was sleeping and the neighbor's
little girl ent... Show more |
| 29) A man walked into an appliance store and asked
the price of a... Show more |
| 30) While away at a convention, an
executive
happened to meet a y... Show more |
| 31) Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along
a
country roa... Show more |
| 32) These two old men are in a nursing home.
They're talking and... Show more |
| 33) The Smith's were proud of their family
tradition. Their
ances... Show more |
| 34) Three Friends an Italian a German and a Greek
they decided to b... Show more |
| 35) One morning while making breakfast, a man walked
up to his
wi... Show more |
| 36) A man wakes up early one morning and
decides
to go Bear hunti... Show more |
| 37) One day there were
two boys playing by a
stream. One of the y... Show more |
| 38) One day there was two boys playing
by a
stream. One of the yo... Show more |
| 39) Three guys are
drinking in a bar when a
drunk comes in, stagg... Show more |
| 40) A drunk gets
up from the bar and heads for
the bathroom. A fe... Show more |
| 41) In a nursing home, there is this old woman named
Gladys who l... Show more |
| 42) A retired
four-star general ran into his
former orderly, also... Show more |
| 43) Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force
One. Bill lo... Show more |
| 44) A couple
decided that the only way to have a
quickie while th... Show more |
| 45) One day a teacher was asking her class to use
absolutely in
a... Show more |
| 46) Little Johnny walks into school one day to find
a substitute... Show more |
| 47) Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair
when he
decided... Show more |
| 48) A couple just got married, and when the husband
went back
to... Show more |
| 49) A father, mother, and son were going to Europe
and were going... Show more |
| 50) A Deaf mute walks into
pharmacy to buy
condoms. He has diffic... Show more |
| 51) A truck driver was going down a steep incline
when, at the fo... Show more |
| 52) On the first day
of college, the Dean
addressed the
students... Show more |
| 53) A bus stops and this old lady gets off and
complains to the d... Show more |
| 54) A minister gave a talk to the
Lions Club on
sex. When he got... Show more |
| 55) Two, old drunks in a bar. The first one says,
"Ya know, when... Show more |
| 56) An eighty year old couple decide to
try for
a child. They vis... Show more |
| 57) A couple was having some
trouble, so they
did the right thing... Show more |
| 58) Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when
forty people fr... Show more |
| 59) A
blonde arrived for her first golf lesson
and the pro asked... Show more |
| 60) A man
got on a plane and sat next to a
blonde, after sitting... Show more |
| 61) While
participating is the Olympics a young gymnast had
her f... Show more |
| 62) A truck driver was pulled over
by a State
Trooper. The patrol... Show more |
| 63) During a funeral for a woman
who had
henpecked her husband, d... Show more |
| 64) This old lady was complaining to her friend
about
a little pr... Show more |
| 65) "Ever
since we got married, my wife has
tried to change me. S... Show more |
| 66) Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his
girlfriend. "E... Show more |
| 67) The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier.
With considerab... Show more |
| 68) One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the
husband gently
t... Show more |
| 69) A little boy returning home from his first day
at
school said... Show more |
| 70) The blonde was at
the blood bank and sold a
pint of blood. As... Show more |
| 71) Because of a bad case of hemorrhoids, a gay
bottom goes to his... Show more |
| 72) Winnie and Piglet sit on the bank of the river
and smoke dope... Show more |
| 73) The president got off the helicopter in
front of the
White... Show more |
| 74) The night before her wedding, the
bride-to-be talked with her... Show more |
| 75) A male market researcher was calling on homes on
behalf of Va... Show more |
| 76) A 90 year man
finally gets to see a Dr. and
the dr. asks him... Show more |
| 77) Two old men were sat on a bench outside a
nursing home having a... Show more |
| 78) A guy waiting at the bus stop wearing chains,
leather jaket,... Show more |
| 79) A guy
walked into the doctor's surgery for
an appointment. "W... Show more |
| 80) A guy goes into a costume shop. He says,
"I'm going to a
cos... Show more |
| 81) A woman checked in at the pearly gates and
asked to join her... Show more |
| 82) A man walks into
a tattoo parlor and says he
would like a $10... Show more |
| 83) "Hello?" the blonde responded answering the
phone. Hearing no... Show more |
| 84) A woman
went to the doctor and complained
that she was suffer... Show more |
| 85) An elderly woman
decided to have her
portrait painted. She to... Show more |
| 86) A knight and his
men returned to their
castle after a hard da... Show more |
| 87) An old couple in an old folks home are having an
affair, nothin... Show more |
| 88) This women had a magic morror from which
anything you wanted... Show more |
| 89) A lady walks
into the dentist's office,
takes off her underwe... Show more |
| 90) Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the
town's morals, pu... Show more |
| 91) My wife rushed into the supermarket to pick up a
few items.
S... Show more |
| 92) Two Marines were sitting around talking one day.
The
first Ma... Show more |
| 93) There are a
lot of folks that can't
understand how we ran out... Show more |
| 94) As a hooker
was dressing, she turned to her
customer and aske... Show more |
| 95) A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a
big... Show more |
| 96) Two postmen are on break having a cigarette.
While on this br... Show more |
| 97) This woman goes into a dentist's office,
after he is through... Show more |
| 98) Winnie-the-Pooh is eating a roll. Piglet
arrives.
- Give me so... Show more |
| 99) A big fat housewife is on her hands and
knees, scrubbing the... Show more |
| 100) A little girl goes to the barber shop with her
father. She st... Show more |
| 101) There were
these three little old ladies
sitting on a park be... Show more |
| 102) Two elderly gentlemen, Sam and Harry, were
having
breakfast.... Show more |
| 103) Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist.
As he leans o... Show more |
| 104) A young woman goes to her doctor
complaining
that the insides... Show more |
| 105) Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How
much for a blow j... Show more |
| 106) A
husband and wife are in bed watching "Who
Wants to be a Mil... Show more |
| 107) A blonde is suffering from a
sore throat so
she goes to see t... Show more |
| 108) Two elderly Southern women are
sitting on
the veranda sipping... Show more |
| 109) A little
old lady shaking violently as she
walks in to the ph... Show more |
| 110) An elderly man visits his
doctor.
"Doctor, I would like you... Show more |
| 111) Scott finally got his
girlfriend into bed,
and things were go... Show more |
| 112) A blonde and a brunette were talking. The
brunette complained... Show more |
| 113) A blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her
what she wou... Show more |
| 114) Three blondes are
sitting on a park bench
eating ice cream co... Show more |
| 115) Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to
"iron," then we... Show more |
| 116) A
man and woman are riding up in an
elevator.
The man look... Show more |
| 117) A man comes home from work one night to catch
his blonde
girl... Show more |
| 118) An angry husband returned home one night to find
his wife
in b... Show more |
| 119) Why
did the former porn actor get fired from
his job as a gas... Show more |
| 120) Q: What is it that
all men have one of;
it's longer on some m... Show more |
| 121) Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife,
meat, eggs, b... Show more |
| 122) A man went into a store to buy some condoms.
"That's 1 dollar... Show more |
| 123) What's so bad about being a dick?
Your
closest mates are 2 nut... Show more |
| 124) Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and
then turn aro... Show more |
| 125) Q:
What can you find in a man's pants that
is about six inche... Show more |
| 126) This blonde and her boyfriend
were sitting
in a hot tub when... Show more |
| 127) Question: What is the difference between a woman
in church an... Show more |
| 128) Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp,
and
another blonde st... Show more |
| 129) Whats the difference
between a bitch and a
whore? A whore sle... Show more |
| 130) A dentist friend of mine
had a T-shirt which
said on the fron... Show more |
| 131) Q: Why do saunas remind some people of
blonde's?
A: Because... Show more |
| 132) I was making love to this girl and she started
crying. I said... Show more |
| 133) Q: What do
electric trains and breasts have
in common?
A: Th... Show more |
| 134) Q: What is the difference between a hog
and
a man?
A: A hog... Show more |
| 135) Why are electric trains like a
mother's
breasts?
They were b... Show more |
| 136) Question: Why do men always give their penis a
name?
Answer: B... Show more |
| 137) Q:
How would a blonde punctuate the
following?: "Fun fun fun... Show more |
| 138) What does KFC and a woman have in
common?
Once you're done wit... Show more |
| 139) Q: How can you tell who is a
blonde's
boyfriend?
A: He's... Show more |
| 140) Q: What's the difference between
a blonde
and a brick?
A:... Show more |
| 141) Q: What's the difference between getting a
divorce and gettin... Show more |
| 142) Q: Why did god give blonde's 2 more
brain
cells than he gave... Show more |
| 143) Why is the space between a
woman's breasts
and her hips calle... Show more |
| 144) Male secretary : "Feel free to use my
dictaphone."
New blon... Show more |
| 145) Q: Whats the difference between erotic and
kinky?
A: Erotic i... Show more |
| 146) What did one saggy boob say to the other
saggy boob?
If we d... Show more |
| 147) Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and
sex education... Show more |
| 148) Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than
horses?
A: Beca... Show more |
| 149) Why do
hunters make the best lovers?
Because they go deep i... Show more |
| 150) Q: How many perverts does it take to
put in
a light bulb?
A:... Show more |
| 151) Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You
never know when he's... Show more |
| 152) Q: How is a penis like
fishing?
A: The
small ones you throw... Show more |
| 153) Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an
office?
A: A b... Show more |
| 154) Question: What's the difference between sin and
shame?
Answe... Show more |
| 155) Q: Whats
the difference between a 90s woman
and a - computer?... Show more |
| 156) Q: Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to
squeeze his
l... Show more |
| 157) Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in
common?
A: If ei... Show more |
| 158) Q: What's the difference
between a Catholic
wife and a Jewish... Show more |
| 159) Q: What do you get when you mix a rooster with a
telephone po... Show more |
| 160) Q: What's the difference between a blonde and
an ironing
boar... Show more |
| 161) What did
the egg say to the boiling
water?
"How can you expe... Show more |
| 162) Whats the difference between premenstrual
tension
and BSE?... Show more |
| 163) Q: What's the difference between a chorus line
of blondes and a... Show more |
| 164) What's the difference between a rooster and a
hooker?
a roos... Show more |
| 165) Q: What did the blind blonde say as she was
making love with... Show more |
| 166) Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for
screwing?
A: The... Show more |
| 167) What is the difference between a frog and a
horny
toad?
One... Show more |
| 168) Wife: "Why don't you ever callout my name when
we're making l... Show more |
| 169) Q: What's the ultimate
embarrassment for a
blonde?
A: Whe... Show more |
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