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The Best Mental Health Jokes: |
| 1) A man is strolling past the mental
hospital and suddenly
reme... Show more |
| 2) A man
walked into a therapist's
office looking very depressed... Show more |
| 3) Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for
four years for treatm... Show more |
| 4) A group of
psychiatrists were
attending a convention. Four of... Show more |
| 5) When they arrived at the therapist's
office, the
therapist ju... Show more |
| 6) A doctor of psychology was doing his
normal morning rounds wh... Show more |
| 7) Three
patients in a mental
institution prepare for an examina... Show more |
| 8) Three patients at a psychiatric clinic
are up for
release. Th... Show more |
| 9) "Great news,
Mr. Oscarson," the
psychiatrist reported. "After... Show more |
| 10) A
psychiatrist was conducting a group
therapy session with fo... Show more |
| 11) The head doctors in an insane asylum had
a meeting and decide... Show more |
| 12) A guy had been feeling down for so long
that he finally decid... Show more |
| 13) The
aspiring psychiatrists were
attending their first class o... Show more |
| 14) After hearing that one of the patients
in a mental hospital h... Show more |
| 15) A young woman
took her troubles to a
psychiatrist. "Doctor, y... Show more |
| 16) Mary was having a tough day
and had
stretched herself out on... Show more |
| 17) The
psychology instructor had just
finished a lecture on ment... Show more |
| 18) In a psychiatrist's waiting room two
patients are having a co... Show more |
| 19) Two psychologists meet at their
twentieth college reunion. On... Show more |
| 20) The
mother of a problem child was
advised by a psychiatrist,... Show more |
| 21) A man who thinks he's George Washington
has been seeing a
psy... Show more |
| 22) Patient: I'm really depressed.
Therapist: I see. Yes. You are... Show more |
| 23) When the new patient was settled
comfortably on the couch,
th... Show more |
| 24) A psychologist is at
a party talking
with a small group of pe... Show more |
| 25) "The trouble is," said the entertainer
to
the psychiatrist, "... Show more |
| 26) A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I
keep
having these alter... Show more |
| 27) Psychiatrist: Well, what's
your
problem?
Patient: I prefer... Show more |
| 28) How many Histrionic
P.D. does to
take to change a lightbulb?... Show more |
| 29) Fred: "Why are you so upset?"
Harry:
"My wife introduced me t... Show more |
| 30) A psychologist returned from a confrence
in Aspen lodge, where... Show more |
| 31) What is the difference between a
psychiatrist and a psychologis... Show more |
| 32) How do
you tell the difference
between the staff and the inma... Show more |
| 33) Patient: Doctor, my
wife thinks I'm
crazy because I like saus... Show more |
| 34) Doctor ! Doctor ! I think I'm
going
crazy. I have a carrot gr... Show more |
| 35) Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm
under such a lot of st... Show more |
| 36) My therapist told me the way to achieve
true inner peace is t... Show more |
| 37) Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on
couch: "Nonsense! N... Show more |
| 38) A woman entered a psychiatrist's
consulting room
leadind a ka... Show more |
| 39) How
many Passive Aggressive P.D.
does to take to change a lig... Show more |
| 40) Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate,
one minute I'm ok, and t... Show more |
| 41) Two psychiatrists were walking down a
hall.
One turned to th... Show more |
| 42) Why is psychoanalysis
a lot quicker
for a man then for a wome... Show more |
| 43) What do you know when you see three
rabbits walking down the... Show more |
| 44) How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does
to take to change a lig... Show more |
| 45) How many
Borderline P.D. does to
take to change a lightbulb?... Show more |
| 46) One out of every four people is
suffering from some
form of m... Show more |
| 47) How many
psychologists does it take
to change a light bulb? J... Show more |
| 48) How many psychologists does
it take
to change a light bulb?... Show more |
| 49) A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He
says, "It seems I can't... Show more |
| 50) How many psychiatrists does it take to
change a light bulb? "Wh... Show more |
| 51) Doctor, doctor, I keep
trying to get
into fights.
And how lo... Show more |
| 52) How many psychiatrists does it take to
change a light bulb? "... Show more |
| 53) How many Dependent P.D. does to take to
change a lightbulb?... Show more |
| 54) Patient: Doctor, I get the feeling that
people don't give a h... Show more |
| 55) Did you hear about
the auto mechanic
who went to a psychiatri... Show more |
| 56) One behaviorist to another after
lovemaking:
"Darling, that... Show more |
| 57) Doctor, Doctor,
I think I'm a
bridge.
What's come over you?... Show more |
| 58) What's the difference between a
psychologist and a magician?... Show more |
| 59) How many psychiatrists
does it take
to change a light bulb? O... Show more |
| 60) Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I
say.
Tell me the tr... Show more |
| 61) How many psychologists does it
take
to change a light bulb? J... Show more |
| 62) Patient: Why did you
charge me a
group rate?
Psychiatrist: Y... Show more |
| 63) Psychiatrist to his nurse:
"Just say
we're very busy. Don't k... Show more |
| 64) How many psychoanalysts does it take to
change a light bulb?
"... Show more |
| 65) What
happens if you tell a
psychiatrist you are schizophrenic... Show more |
| 66) Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a
wheelbarrow.
Don't let... Show more |
| 67) What do Psychologists say to each
other when they meet?"
"Y... Show more |
| 68) Doctor, doctor, I'm
manic-depressive.
Calm down. Cheer up. Cla... Show more |
| 69) Why did the witch go to the
psychiatrist?
Because she thought... Show more |
| 70) Why is a psychiatrist like a
squirrel?
Because they are both... Show more |
| 71) Doctor, doctor,
people keep telling
me I'm ugly!
Lay on the... Show more |
| 72) Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59
seconds
to live.
Wait a min... Show more |
| 73) Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a
spoon.
Sit there and d... Show more |
| 74) Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small
bucket.
You do look a li... Show more |
| 75) Doctor, doctor, nobody understands
me.
What do you mean by t... Show more |
| 76) Doctor, doctor, I feel so short!
No
problem. Hop up on the cou... Show more |
| 77) Doctor, I have a ringing in my
ears.
Don't answer!... Show more |
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