Beatrice Lillie (Lady Peel) was once accosted by a haughty old dowager who scrutinized her through her lorgnettes.
"What lovely pearls, dear Beatrice," she maliciously remarked.
"Are they real?" Yes, nodded Lady Peel.
"Of course," the dowager declared, "you can always tell real pearls by biting them.
May I try?" "Gladly," Lady Peel replied.
"But remember, Duchess, you can't tell real pearls with false teeth."