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baby JOKES (random)

Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven?
Yes, that's right.
Well, I don't blame God for chucking her out.

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 1 - A family of ducks were walking down the road when an 18-wheeler ran over all but one baby. Farth... More ››
 2 - Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no... More ››
 3 - Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can't carry the mother.... More ››
 4 - A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Su... More ››
 5 - Why is a baby like a diamond? Because it's a dear little thing.... More ››
 6 - Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "... More ››
 7 - Do you like your new baby sister? She's all right. Do you play with her? No, and we can't... More ››
 8 - Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please? But that's the tenth one I've given y... More ››
 9 - I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didn't say whether it's a boy or gir... More ››
 10 - Mum, are the Smiths very poor people? I don't think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask? Because they ma... More ››
 11 - Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in weight in two weeks by drinking elephant's milk.... More ››
 12 - Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven? Yes, that's right. Well, I don't blame God... More ››
 13 - Knock knock. Who's there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later, baby not.... More ››
 14 - Fred: My mum's having a new baby. Drew: What's wrong with the old one?... More ››
 15 - What was the policeman's baby's first words ? Hallo, Hallo, Hallo !... More ››
 16 - How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rock-et.... More ››
 17 - What do baby pythons play with? Rattle-snakes.... More ››
 18 - Dewey and Odell met on the Brownsville main street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and yore w... More ››
 19 - A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," sai... More ››
 20 - I see the baby's nose is running again," said a worried father. "For goodness sake!" snapped h... More ››
 21 - Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this on... More ››
 22 - What is a baby: A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of respo... More ››
 23 - Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-s... More ››
 24 - Q: How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, They don't make Pampers... More ››
 25 - Doctor, doctor, my baby's swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pas... More ››
 26 - Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue? Because they can't dress themselves.... More ››
 27 - What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball? A bouncing baby boa.... More ››
 28 - Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister? I'd much rather have a jelly baby.... More ››
 29 - Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food? He wanted something to get his teeth into.... More ››
 30 - What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake? Stop crying and viper your nose.... More ››
 31 - Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the crib? Daughter: You told me to change the baby.... More ››
 32 - Knock knock. Who's there? Underwear. Underwear who? Underwear my baby is tonight?... More ››
 33 - How did the witch almost lose her baby? She didn't take it far enough into the woods.... More ››
 34 - My new baby is the image of his father. Never mind. just so long as he's healthy.... More ››
 35 - What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies.... More ››
 36 - Knock Knock. Who's there? Baby! Baby who? Baby love, my baby love.... !... More ››
 37 - Why are babies always gurgling with joy? Because it's a nappy time.... More ››
 38 - How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake? It has a rattle.... More ››
 39 - When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn't he have an L-plate?... More ››
 40 - What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ? Infantry !... More ››
 41 - What did Baby Corn say to Mother Corn? Where's Pop Corn?... More ››
 42 - What does a baby computer call his father? Data.... More ››
 43 - How do you get a paper baby? Marry an old bag.... More ››
 44 - What are baby witches called? Halloweenies.... More ››
 45 - How does a baby ghost cry? "Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"... More ››
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