1 - Sam's girlfriend's birthday was the same
day as his
father's. He bought his girlfriend a bottle... More ››
2 - A kindly old lady came across a little boy
sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's... More ››
3 - Home - A -
excellent essay for someone your age," said the English
tea... More ››
4 - The housewife answered a knock on the door
and found a total
stranger standing on the doorstep.... More ››
5 - I'd like to say
something nice about you
as it's your birthday.
Why don't you?
Because I can... More ››
6 - First boy: Are you having a party for your
Second boy: No, I'm having a witch do.
Fi... More ››
7 - Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her
Yes, but he only did it so... More ››
8 - "Artificial intelligence is a wonderful
I told my computer that today is my birthday,
and... More ››
9 - Man l: "I got my wife a VCP
Man 2: "Don't you mean a VCR?"
Man 1: "No, a V... More ››
10 - What do you give a
gorilla for his birthday?
I don't know, but you'd better... More ››
11 - Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake?
Because he always slobbers out the candles!... More ››
12 - Grandma, is it exciting being 99?
certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.... More ››
13 - A man asked his wife, "What would you most
like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be... More ››
14 - It was
Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and
he was still in perfect health. At
his birthday party... More ››
15 - The housewife answered a knock on the door
a total stranger standing on the doorstep.... More ››
16 - Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally
depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked wh... More ››
17 - A couple have not been getting along for years,
so the husband
"I'll buy my wife a ceme... More ››
18 - A St. Louis mother
telephoned the capital
building over in Jefferson City and asked to speak to... More ››
19 - I've been shopping for
What did you get her?
A bottle of expensi... More ››
20 - Will you come to my party on
Yes, please, What's the address?
25 The High Street.... More ››
21 - "I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party
"A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that... More ››
22 - Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to
give you for your birthday?
Mum: No, dear, what ?
He... More ››
23 - Fred: Have you noticed that your
smells a bit funny these days?
Harry: No. Why?
Fred:... More ››
24 - Johnny was racing
around the garden on his
new bicycle and called out to his mother to
watch h... More ››
25 - How old were you on your last birthday?
And how old will you be on your next birthday?... More ››
26 - Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief
for your birthday.
Harry: That was a kind thought.... More ››
27 - Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief
Betty: That was a kind thought.... More ››
28 - Fred: Do you
like the dictionary I bought
you for your birthday?
Harry: Sure. It's a great pre... More ››
29 - Charley wanted to buy Farley a
cake, but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in... More ››
30 - Something
happened to me yesterday that
will never, ever, happen to me again.
How can you be s... More ››
31 - Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my
. . .the bad news is that I don't get the... More ››
32 - "Did you go shopping for my birthday
"Yeah, and I found the perfect thing."
"What... More ››
33 - Cat: "What did you get him for his
Dog: "Pant . . . pant!"
Cat: "Great . . . he n... More ››
34 - Why was the monster standing on his head at
the birthday party?
He heard they were having upsid... More ››
35 - How can you tell if an elephant's been to
Look for his footprints in the... More ››
36 - Did you hear about the time
sister tried to make a birthday cake ?
The candles melted in... More ››
37 - BoyFriend: Why didn't you
anything for my birthday?
GirlFriend: You told me to surprise... More ››
38 - Why do we put candles on top of a birthday
Because it's too hard to put them on the bott... More ››
39 - "I remember when the
candle shop burned
down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy
Birthday.'"... More ››
40 - "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat
"Next time, take off the candles."... More ››
41 - Why did Davy Crockett always
It was a birthday present from his wife!... More ››
42 - Why does the monster act wild
on his birthday?
He's trying to age disgracefully!... More ››
43 - For his birthday the monster asked for a
So they gave him a sumo wrestler!... More ››
44 - Why couldn't prehistoric man send
The stamps kept falling off the rocks!... More ››
45 - What's the greatest birthday
Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.... More ››
46 - Why did you hit your birthday cake with a
Because you said it was pound cake!... More ››
47 - A man who forgets his wife's birthday is
certain to get something to remember her by.... More ››
48 - What song should
you sing to a wildebeest
on his birthday?
"Happy Birthday To Gnu!"... More ››
49 - "My birthday's coming"
Do you know what I
"Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"... More ››
50 - Why did the fat monster put
a candle on
He was celebrating his girthday!... More ››
51 - "I guess I didn't get my birthday wish."
"How do you know?"
"You're still here!"... More ››
52 - I forgot my brother's
What did he say? Rick: Nothing, yet.... More ››
53 - "This birthday cake certainly is crunchy."
"Maybe you should spit out the plate!"... More ››
54 - Why did you buy me
a pair of bunny ears?
I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!... More ››
55 - What do they serve at birthday
Angel food cake, of course!... More ››
56 - Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
He wanted to have a birthday potty!... More ››
57 - Why did the boy feel warm on his
Because people kept toasting him!... More ››
58 - Why was the birthday cake as hard
Because it was marble cake!... More ››
59 - "Were any famous men born on your
"No, only little babies."... More ››
60 - What did one candle say to the
"Don't birthdays burn you up?"... More ››
61 - How does Moby Dick celebrate his
He has a whale of a party!... More ››
62 - What does a cat like
to eat on his
Mice cream and cake!... More ››
63 - Where do you find a birthday
In a cat-alogue!... More ››
64 - What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
A birthday pheasant!... More ››
65 - What do you always get
on your birthday?
Another year older!birt... More ››
66 - What is your favourite type of birthday
Another present!... More ››
67 - When is your birthday?
Every year!... More ››
68 - What did the burglar
give his wife for
A stole.... More ››
69 - When is a birthday cake like a golf
When it's been sliced.... More ››
70 - What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday
Shortcake!... More ››
71 - Did you hear about the tree's
It was a sappy one!... More ››
72 - Did you hear about the dancer's birthday?
It was a tappy one!... More ››
73 - What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?
"Hi, Buster."... More ››
74 - Did you hear about the flag's birthday?
It was a Happy one!... More ››
75 - What does a clam do on
He shellabrates!... More ››
76 - What did you get for your birthday?
Another year!... More ››