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birthday JOKES (random)

Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer?
Because you said it was pound cake!

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 1 - Sam's girlfriend's birthday was the same day as his father's. He bought his girlfriend a bottle... More ››
 2 - A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's... More ››
 3 - Home - A - Age Jokes "That's an excellent essay for someone your age," said the English tea... More ››
 4 - The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.... More ››
 5 - I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can... More ››
 6 - First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No, I'm having a witch do. Fi... More ››
 7 - Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so... More ››
 8 - "Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and... More ››
 9 - Man l: "I got my wife a VCP for her birthday" Man 2: "Don't you mean a VCR?" Man 1: "No, a V... More ››
 10 - What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday? I don't know, but you'd better... More ››
 11 - Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles!... More ››
 12 - Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.... More ››
 13 - Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!... More ››
 14 - A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be... More ››
 15 - It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party... More ››
 16 - The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.... More ››
 17 - Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked wh... More ››
 18 - A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a ceme... More ››
 19 - A St. Louis mother telephoned the capital building over in Jefferson City and asked to speak to... More ››
 20 - I've been shopping for my wife's birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensi... More ››
 21 - Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, What's the address? 25 The High Street.... More ››
 22 - "I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you." "A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that... More ››
 23 - Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No, dear, what ? He... More ››
 24 - Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days? Harry: No. Why? Fred:... More ››
 25 - Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch h... More ››
 26 - How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday?... More ››
 27 - Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Harry: That was a kind thought.... More ››
 28 - Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought.... More ››
 29 - Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It's a great pre... More ››
 30 - Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in... More ››
 31 - Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again. How can you be s... More ››
 32 - Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don't get the... More ››
 33 - "Did you go shopping for my birthday present?" "Yeah, and I found the perfect thing." "What... More ››
 34 - Cat: "What did you get him for his birthday?" Dog: "Pant . . . pant!" Cat: "Great . . . he n... More ››
 35 - Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party? He heard they were having upsid... More ››
 36 - How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the... More ››
 37 - Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake ? The candles melted in... More ››
 38 - BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday? GirlFriend: You told me to surprise... More ››
 39 - Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bott... More ››
 40 - "I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"... More ››
 41 - "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." "Next time, take off the candles."... More ››
 42 - Why did Davy Crockett always wear a coonskin cap? It was a birthday present from his wife!... More ››
 43 - Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? He's trying to age disgracefully!... More ››
 44 - For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater. So they gave him a sumo wrestler!... More ››
 45 - Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!... More ››
 46 - What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.... More ››
 47 - Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!... More ››
 48 - A man who forgets his wife's birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.... More ››
 49 - What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday? "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"... More ››
 50 - "My birthday's coming" Do you know what I need?" "Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"... More ››
 51 - Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!... More ››
 52 - "I guess I didn't get my birthday wish." "How do you know?" "You're still here!"... More ››
 53 - I forgot my brother's birthday last month. What did he say? Rick: Nothing, yet.... More ››
 54 - "This birthday cake certainly is crunchy." "Maybe you should spit out the plate!"... More ››
 55 - Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears? I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!... More ››
 56 - What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!... More ››
 57 - Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!... More ››
 58 - Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!... More ››
 59 - "Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."... More ››
 60 - What did one candle say to the other? "Don't birthdays burn you up?"... More ››
 61 - How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? He has a whale of a party!... More ››
 62 - What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!... More ››
 63 - Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!... More ››
 64 - What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant!... More ››
 65 - What do you always get on your birthday? Another year older!birt... More ››
 66 - What is your favourite type of birthday present? Another present!... More ››
 67 - When is your birthday? 17th January. What year? Every year!... More ››
 68 - What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday? A stole.... More ››
 69 - When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.... More ››
 70 - What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!... More ››
 71 - Did you hear about the tree's birthday? It was a sappy one!... More ››
 72 - Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one!... More ››
 73 - What did the birthday balloon say to the pin? "Hi, Buster."... More ››
 74 - Did you hear about the flag's birthday? It was a Happy one!... More ››
 75 - What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!... More ››
 76 - What did you get for your birthday? Another year!... More ››
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