THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!

BUSINESS Business JOKE (1st joke of the minute) Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held." "Well," the young man replied, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination." BUSINESS

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BIOLOGIST Biologist JOKE (2nd joke of the minute) A group of goose biologists were meeting to brainstorm about the migration tactics of Canada geese. They were particularly interested in applying for a $100,000 Federal grant to investigate the "V" formation of goose flight. It had been observed that one side of the "V" is always longer than the other side. This group would put together a research proposal to apply for the $100,000 grant and hopefully find out why this happens. To start off the discussion, Todd, the Consulting Firm Biologist stands up and says in typical consultant fashion, "I say we ask for $200,000, and attempt to model the wind drag coefficients. We can have our geologists record and map the ground topography and then our staff meteorologists can predict potential updraft currents. Our internal CAD department can then produce 3-d drawings of the predicted wing tip vortices. Then, after several years of study, our in-house publications department could produce a nice thick report full of charts and graphs." The Senior Research Biologist, a professor at the local university, cleared his throat and responded, "No, no!, That's not it at all. We only need $150,000. We can train a group of domesticated geese to fly in formations of equal length and then compare their relative fitness to wild geese. We can then publish the results in the Journal of Wildlife Management. About then, the hardworking field biologist stands up and begins walking for the door. "Where are you going?" the group asks. "I'm leaving" he replies, "I've heard enough. No one has to give me $100,000 to find out that the reason one side of the "V" is longer is simply because there are more damn geese on that side!" BIOLOGIST

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Humor Definitions:

• Humor is a universal language ( Sent by John)
• Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
  ( Sent by David)
• Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. ( Sent by Robin)
• We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. ( Sent by Will)
• Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. ( Sent by Arnold)
• The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven. ( Sent by Bill)
• I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup. ( Sent by Margaret)
• Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self. ( Sent by Riley)
• Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time. ( Sent by Jan Neruda)
• Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness! ( Sent by Saffron)
• Have a better definition? Share it!