ANSWER ME THIS
Answer me this
Bar beer booze and fun
Brother and sister
Car and train
Dead and dying
Doctor and nurse
Hair and bald
Heaven and hell
Idiot and fool
Movie and TV
Travel and tourist
PIADAS - Curtas, Loiras, Sogras...
THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!
Children JOKE (1st joke of the minute)
A little boy came downstairs crying late one night.
' What's wrong ?' asked his mother.
Do people really come from dust, like they said in church ?
'In a way they do,' said his mother.
' And when they die do the turn back to dust ?'.
'Yes, they do.' The little boy began to cry again.
' Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going !'
Accountant JOKE (2nd joke of the minute)
Once upon a time there was a beautiful oil company.
All day long she loved to run up and down the share price list, laughing and skipping.
But one day she was very sad, because she couldn't find an interim dividend anywhere and she knew people would be very angry if she couldn't produce it.
"What's wrong, little oil company?" said a gruff voice nearby.
She looked around and there was a funny little creature with spectacles, a bald patch and shaving cuts.
"I can't find a dividend," she said and started crying again.
"Don't worry," said the creature.
"I can find you one." "How?" said the oil company, "And who are you?" "I'm an accountant," he said.
"As for how I do it, never mind about that.
But there's one condition.
If I do find it for you, you must agree to let me stay with you." "Yes, yes!" she said, anxious only to get the dividend.
The accountant disappeared into some books nearby and stayed there for a while.
She could hear him muttering and tut tutting and transferring accounts.
Then he emerged and put his long sloping hand into hers.
"I've found you a dividend," he said.
Her usual cheerfulness returned in an instant and she rushed off to tell her father, the Chairman.
She forgot all about the accountant until he followed her in and reminded her of her promise; despite all her tears, her father insisted that she keep her word and that night the little accountant slept on the floor beside her bed.
The next morning she opened her eyes and to her amazement she saw the accountant was exactly the same as he had been before.
"I know what you're thinking," smiled the accountant.
"You're quite right.
Before I was changed into an accountant I was a handsome young man with a devil-may-care attitude and considerable joie de vivre." "Then change back!" said the oil company, clapping her hands.
"Are you crazy?" said the accountant.
"Handsome young men are two a penny but clever, ugly little accountants are worth their weight in gold."
- Humor is a universal language
( Sent by John)
- Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
( Sent by David)
- Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
( Sent by Robin)
- We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
( Sent by Will)
- Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
( Sent by Arnold)
- The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
( Sent by Bill)
- I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup.
( Sent by Margaret)
- Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self.
( Sent by Riley)
- Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time.
( Sent by Jan Neruda)
- Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness!
( Sent by Saffron)
- Have a better definition? Share it!