ANSWER ME THIS
Answer me this
Bar beer booze and fun
Brother and sister
Car and train
Dead and dying
Doctor and nurse
Hair and bald
Heaven and hell
Idiot and fool
Movie and TV
Travel and tourist
PIADAS - Curtas, Loiras, Sogras...
THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!
Cat JOKE (1st joke of the minute)
For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats: - Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
- No matter what you do for them, it is not enough.
Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
- You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
- Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.
- No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
- Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
- Cats have nine lives.
Teenagers carry o n as if they did.
- Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
- Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
- Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom.
Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians.
It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times.
And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction.
When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.
Bus JOKE (2nd joke of the minute)
Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, young man, you'd stand up and let someone else sit down." "And if you were a lady," replied Roger, "you'd stand up and let four people sit down."
- Humor is a universal language
( Sent by John)
- Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
( Sent by David)
- Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
( Sent by Robin)
- We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
( Sent by Will)
- Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
( Sent by Arnold)
- The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
( Sent by Bill)
- I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup.
( Sent by Margaret)
- Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self.
( Sent by Riley)
- Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time.
( Sent by Jan Neruda)
- Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness!
( Sent by Saffron)
- Have a better definition? Share it!