ANSWER ME THIS
Answer me this
Bar beer booze and fun
Brother and sister
Car and train
Dead and dying
Doctor and nurse
Hair and bald
Heaven and hell
Idiot and fool
Movie and TV
Travel and tourist
PIADAS - Curtas, Loiras, Sogras...
THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!
Baby JOKE (1st joke of the minute)
Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.
When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby.
Little Johnny's parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors.
He said "Now, son...
that poor baby was born without any ears.
I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home." "I promise not to mention his ears at all" said Little Johnny.
At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby's hand.
He looked at it's mother and said "Oh What a Beautiful little baby".
The mother said "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet.
just look at his pretty little eyes....
Did his doctor say that he can see good?" The Mother said "why, yes Johnny...
his doctor said he has 20/20 vision.
Little Johnny said "well, its a darn good thing, cause he sure couldn't wear glasses!!!
Business JOKE (2nd joke of the minute)
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way.
With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel.
The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable.
In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way.
The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.
He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed.
In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- make sure th e captain is aboard before getting under way!"
- Humor is a universal language
( Sent by John)
- Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
( Sent by David)
- Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
( Sent by Robin)
- We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
( Sent by Will)
- Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
( Sent by Arnold)
- The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
( Sent by Bill)
- I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup.
( Sent by Margaret)
- Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self.
( Sent by Riley)
- Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time.
( Sent by Jan Neruda)
- Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness!
( Sent by Saffron)
- Have a better definition? Share it!