ANSWER ME THIS
Answer me this
Bar beer booze and fun
Brother and sister
Car and train
Dead and dying
Doctor and nurse
Hair and bald
Heaven and hell
Idiot and fool
Movie and TV
Travel and tourist
PIADAS - Curtas, Loiras, Sogras...
THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!
Marriage JOKE (1st joke of the minute)
O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned his client.
"Tell me about it.
Do you have a grudge?" "Oh, no," replied Mrs.
"Shure now, we have a carport." The solicitor tried again.
"Well, does the man beat you up?" "No, no," said Mrs.
O'Connor, looking puzzled.
"Oi'm always first out of bed." Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again.
"What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have." "Bless ye, sor.
We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds." "Mrs.
O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, "you need a reason that the court can consider.
"What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?" "Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation."
Military JOKE (2nd joke of the minute)
During an army basic training, the lieutenant took the batch on a match and asked each of them where home was.
After everyone had answered, he sneered and said "you are all wrong, the army is now your home".
Back at the barracks, he read the evening duties, then asked the first sergeant if he had anything to say "you bet I do" the sergeant replied, "men, while you were gone today, I found beds improperly made, clothes not hanging correctly, shoes not shined and footlockers a mess.
Where do you think you are?
- Humor is a universal language
( Sent by John)
- Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
( Sent by David)
- Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
( Sent by Robin)
- We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
( Sent by Will)
- Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
( Sent by Arnold)
- The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
( Sent by Bill)
- I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup.
( Sent by Margaret)
- Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self.
( Sent by Riley)
- Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time.
( Sent by Jan Neruda)
- Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness!
( Sent by Saffron)
- Have a better definition? Share it!