THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!

ACCOUNTANT Accountant JOKE (1st joke of the minute) A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, "What is two and two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty-two." The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm glad we had time to discuss this important question." The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001. The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v Commr of Stamp Duties (Qld), two and two was proven to be four. The last applicant was an accountant. The business man asked him, "How much is two and two?" The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?" He got the job. ACCOUNTANT

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DENTIST Dentist JOKE (2nd joke of the minute) "I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy's tooth." "Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office." DENTIST

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Humor Definitions:

• Humor is a universal language ( Sent by John)
• Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
  ( Sent by David)
• Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. ( Sent by Robin)
• We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. ( Sent by Will)
• Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. ( Sent by Arnold)
• The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven. ( Sent by Bill)
• I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup. ( Sent by Margaret)
• Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self. ( Sent by Riley)
• Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time. ( Sent by Jan Neruda)
• Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness! ( Sent by Saffron)
• Have a better definition? Share it!