THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!

ANT Apple JOKE (1st joke of the minute) A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California's apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, "How much are yer apples?" "All you can pick for one dollar," said the rancher. "Okay," said the Pennsylvanian. "I'll take two dollars' worth." APPLE

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LETTER Lotto JOKE (2nd joke of the minute) A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the synagogue and begins to pray "God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Jacob goes back to the synagogue. "God, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Jacob still has no luck!! Back to the synagogue. "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???". Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Jacob is confronted by the voice of GOD himself: "JACOB, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE, BUY A DAMN TICKET" LOTTO

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Humor Definitions:

• Humor is a universal language ( Sent by John)
• Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
  ( Sent by David)
• Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. ( Sent by Robin)
• We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. ( Sent by Will)
• Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. ( Sent by Arnold)
• The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven. ( Sent by Bill)
• I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup. ( Sent by Margaret)
• Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self. ( Sent by Riley)
• Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time. ( Sent by Jan Neruda)
• Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness! ( Sent by Saffron)
• Have a better definition? Share it!