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BED JOKES!

bed JOKES (random)

Two friends who lived in the town were chatting.
"I've just bought a pig," said the first.
"But where will you keep it?" said the second.
"Your yard's much too small for a pig!" "I'm going to keep it under my bed," replied his friend.
"But what about the smell?" "He'll soon get used to that."

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY bed JOKES:

 1 - Did you hear about the granny who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster by mistake? Sh... More ››
 2 - Why do people go to bed? Because the bed won't come to them.... More ››
 3 - What do tigers wear in bed ? Stripey pyjamas !... More ››
 4 - A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. "What's wrong?" asked his mother. "Do pe... More ››
 5 - Two friends who lived in the town were chatting. "I've just bought a pig," said the first. "Bu... More ››
 6 - I'd love you to stay the night, but I'm afraid you'll have to make your own bed. Oh, that's... More ››
 7 - Three boys were sharing the same bed on holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided... More ››
 8 - A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her house after dark. 'Hello, Jenny,' said the nei... More ››
 9 - I woke up, went for a walk, my head fell off and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A ch... More ››
 10 - I don't think my Mom knows much about children. Why do you say that? Because she always puts m... More ››
 11 - Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks... More ››
 12 - Doctor, doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed. Oh, I'm all... More ››
 13 - You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach... More ››
 14 - The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board, but it was impossible to say whi... More ››
 15 - Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make your bed? Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I... More ››
 16 - Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I do? Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll... More ››
 17 - I'd like to buy a bed, please. Certainly, madam. Spring mattress? Oh, no! I want to be able t... More ››
 18 - Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don't feel well. Doctor: Don't worry, you'll just have to go to bed for... More ››
 19 - I was once in a play called Breakfast In Bed. Did you have a big role? No, just toast and mar... More ››
 20 - Why did your sister keep running around her bed ? Because she was trying to catch up with her s... More ››
 21 - Mother: Did you make your bed today? Daughter: Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy on... More ››
 22 - How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ? When your nose touches the ceiling !... More ››
 23 - When Mr Maxwell's wife left him, he couldn't sleep. Why was that? She had taken the bed.... More ››
 24 - Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace? Because she wanted to sleep like a log.... More ››
 25 - What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed? Sleep on the sofa.... More ››
 26 - Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed? Son: I couldn't find a spider.... More ››
 27 - Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed? Because he sleeps on a waterbed !... More ››
 28 - Shall I tell you the joke about the bed? No, because it hasn't been made up yet.... More ››
 29 - Why did the boy take the ruler to bed? He wanted to see how long he slept.... More ››
 30 - What should you do if you find a snake in your bed? Sleep in the wardrobe.... More ››
 31 - Why did the girl take a ruler to bed? She wanted to see how long she slept.... More ››
 32 - What do you call a python with a great bedside manner? A snake charmer.... More ››
 33 - Knock Knock Who's there ! Bed ! Bed who ? Bed you can't guess who I am!... More ››
 34 - Why did the composer spend all his time in bed? He wrote sheet music.... More ››
 35 - When does a bed grow longer? At night, because two feet are added to it.... More ››
 36 - When is your mind like a rumpled bed? When it isn't made up yet.... More ››
 37 - Why did the kid punch the bed? His mother told him to hit the hay.... More ››
 38 - Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed? Because he is lying.... More ››
 39 - What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on? Cot-on-wool.... More ››
 40 - What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ? A horse !... More ››
 41 - Why did the man take a pencil to bed ? To draw the curtains !... More ››
 42 - Why are rivers lazy? Because they never get off their beds.... More ››
 43 - Why do you go to bed? Because the bed will not come to you.... More ››
 44 - What should you do if you find a witch in your bed? Run!... More ››
 45 - Why did the bed spread? Because it saw the pillow slip.... More ››
 46 - How can you shorten a bed? Don't sleep long in it.... More ››
 47 - How can you shorten a bed? Don't sleep long in it.... More ››
 48 - Who stole the sheets from the bed? Bed buglars.... More ››
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