1 - Did you hear about the granny who plugged her
electric blanket into the toaster by mistake?
Sh... More ››
2 - Mother: Did you make your bed today?
Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy on... More ››
3 - Why do people go to bed?
Because the bed
won't come to them.... More ››
4 - What do tigers wear in bed ?
!... More ››
5 - A little
boy came downstairs crying late one
"What's wrong?" asked his mother.
"Do pe... More ››
6 - Two friends who lived in the town were chatting.
"I've just bought a pig," said the first.
"Bu... More ››
7 - I'd love you to stay the night, but I'm
afraid you'll have to make your own bed.
Oh, that's... More ››
8 - Three boys were sharing
the same bed on
holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided... More ››
9 - A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her
dark. 'Hello, Jenny,' said the nei... More ››
10 - I woke up, went for a walk, my head fell off
and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A ch... More ››
11 - I don't think my Mom knows much about
Why do you say that? Because she always puts m... More ››
12 - Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great,
gooey, bug-eyed monsters
playing tiddley winks... More ››
13 - Doctor, doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping.
Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed.
Oh, I'm all... More ››
14 - You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's
good for you to go to bed on a full stomach... More ››
15 - The
hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered
bed and board, but it was
impossible to say whi... More ››
16 - Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make
Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I... More ››
17 - Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I
Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll... More ››
18 - I'd like to buy a bed,
madam. Spring mattress?
Oh, no! I want to be able t... More ››
19 - Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don't feel well.
Doctor: Don't worry, you'll just have to go to bed for... More ››
20 - I was once in a play called
Breakfast In Bed.
Did you have a big role?
No, just toast and mar... More ››
21 - Why did your sister keep running
Because she was trying to catch up with her s... More ››
22 - How do you know when there is an elephant under
your bed ?
When your nose touches the ceiling !... More ››
23 - When Mr Maxwell's wife left him,
Why was that?
She had taken the bed.... More ››
24 - Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?
Because she wanted to sleep like a log.... More ››
25 - What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog
asleep on your bed?
Sleep on the sofa.... More ››
26 - Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister's
Son: I couldn't find a spider.... More ››
27 - Why
does your brother wear a life jacket in
Because he sleeps on a waterbed !... More ››
28 - Shall I tell you the joke about the bed?
because it hasn't been made up yet.... More ››
29 - Why did the boy take the ruler to
wanted to see how long he slept.... More ››
30 - What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?
Sleep in the wardrobe.... More ››
31 - Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?
wanted to see how long she slept.... More ››
32 - What do you call a python with a great bedside
A snake charmer.... More ››
33 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bed you can't guess who I am!... More ››
34 - Why did the composer spend all his time in
He wrote sheet music.... More ››
35 - When does a bed grow longer?
At night, because
two feet are added to it.... More ››
36 - When is your mind like a
it isn't made up yet.... More ››
37 - Why did the kid punch the bed?
His mother told
him to hit the hay.... More ››
38 - Why shouldn't you believe a
Because he is lying.... More ››
39 - What is the softest bed for a
baby to sleep
Cot-on-wool.... More ››
40 - What animal always goes to bed
with its shoes
A horse !... More ››
41 - Why did the man take a pencil to
draw the curtains !... More ››
42 - Why are rivers lazy?
Because they never get off
their beds.... More ››
43 - Why do you go to bed?
Because the bed will not
come to you.... More ››
44 - What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?
Run!... More ››
45 - Why did the bed spread?
Because it saw the
pillow slip.... More ››
46 - How can you shorten a bed?
Don't sleep long
in it.... More ››
47 - How can you shorten a bed?
Don't sleep long in
it.... More ››
48 - Who stole the sheets from the bed?
buglars.... More ››