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bed JOKES (random)

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night.
"What's wrong?" asked his mother.
"Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?" he sobbed.
"In a way they do," said his mother.
"And when they die so they turn back to dust?" "Yes, they do." The little boy began to cry again.
"Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going."

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 1 - Did you hear about the granny who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster by mistake? Sh... More ››
 2 - Why do people go to bed? Because the bed won't come to them.... More ››
 3 - What do tigers wear in bed ? Stripey pyjamas !... More ››
 4 - A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. "What's wrong?" asked his mother. "Do pe... More ››
 5 - Two friends who lived in the town were chatting. "I've just bought a pig," said the first. "Bu... More ››
 6 - I'd love you to stay the night, but I'm afraid you'll have to make your own bed. Oh, that's... More ››
 7 - Three boys were sharing the same bed on holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided... More ››
 8 - A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her house after dark. 'Hello, Jenny,' said the nei... More ››
 9 - I woke up, went for a walk, my head fell off and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A ch... More ››
 10 - I don't think my Mom knows much about children. Why do you say that? Because she always puts m... More ››
 11 - Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks... More ››
 12 - Doctor, doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed. Oh, I'm all... More ››
 13 - You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach... More ››
 14 - The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board, but it was impossible to say whi... More ››
 15 - Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make your bed? Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I... More ››
 16 - Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I do? Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll... More ››
 17 - I'd like to buy a bed, please. Certainly, madam. Spring mattress? Oh, no! I want to be able t... More ››
 18 - Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don't feel well. Doctor: Don't worry, you'll just have to go to bed for... More ››
 19 - I was once in a play called Breakfast In Bed. Did you have a big role? No, just toast and mar... More ››
 20 - Why did your sister keep running around her bed ? Because she was trying to catch up with her s... More ››
 21 - Mother: Did you make your bed today? Daughter: Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy on... More ››
 22 - How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ? When your nose touches the ceiling !... More ››
 23 - When Mr Maxwell's wife left him, he couldn't sleep. Why was that? She had taken the bed.... More ››
 24 - Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace? Because she wanted to sleep like a log.... More ››
 25 - What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed? Sleep on the sofa.... More ››
 26 - Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed? Son: I couldn't find a spider.... More ››
 27 - Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed? Because he sleeps on a waterbed !... More ››
 28 - Shall I tell you the joke about the bed? No, because it hasn't been made up yet.... More ››
 29 - Why did the boy take the ruler to bed? He wanted to see how long he slept.... More ››
 30 - What should you do if you find a snake in your bed? Sleep in the wardrobe.... More ››
 31 - Why did the girl take a ruler to bed? She wanted to see how long she slept.... More ››
 32 - What do you call a python with a great bedside manner? A snake charmer.... More ››
 33 - Knock Knock Who's there ! Bed ! Bed who ? Bed you can't guess who I am!... More ››
 34 - Why did the composer spend all his time in bed? He wrote sheet music.... More ››
 35 - When does a bed grow longer? At night, because two feet are added to it.... More ››
 36 - When is your mind like a rumpled bed? When it isn't made up yet.... More ››
 37 - Why did the kid punch the bed? His mother told him to hit the hay.... More ››
 38 - Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed? Because he is lying.... More ››
 39 - What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on? Cot-on-wool.... More ››
 40 - What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ? A horse !... More ››
 41 - Why did the man take a pencil to bed ? To draw the curtains !... More ››
 42 - Why are rivers lazy? Because they never get off their beds.... More ››
 43 - Why do you go to bed? Because the bed will not come to you.... More ››
 44 - What should you do if you find a witch in your bed? Run!... More ››
 45 - Why did the bed spread? Because it saw the pillow slip.... More ››
 46 - How can you shorten a bed? Don't sleep long in it.... More ››
 47 - How can you shorten a bed? Don't sleep long in it.... More ››
 48 - Who stole the sheets from the bed? Bed buglars.... More ››
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