1 - Did you hear about the granny who plugged her
electric blanket into the toaster by mistake?
Sh... More ›› 2 - Mother: Did you make your bed today?
Daughter:
Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy on... More ›› 3 - Why do people go to bed?
Because the bed
won't come to them.... More ›› 4 - What do tigers wear in bed ?
Stripey pyjamas
!... More ›› 5 - A little
boy came downstairs crying late one
night.
"What's wrong?" asked his mother.
"Do pe... More ›› 6 - Two friends who lived in the town were chatting.
"I've just bought a pig," said the first.
"Bu... More ›› 7 - I'd love you to stay the night, but I'm
afraid you'll have to make your own bed.
Oh, that's... More ›› 8 - Three boys were sharing
the same bed on
holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided... More ›› 9 - A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her
house after
dark. 'Hello, Jenny,' said the nei... More ›› 10 - I woke up, went for a walk, my head fell off
and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A ch... More ›› 11 - I don't think my Mom knows much about
children.
Why do you say that? Because she always puts m... More ›› 12 - Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great,
gooey, bug-eyed monsters
playing tiddley winks... More ›› 13 - Doctor, doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping.
Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed.
Oh, I'm all... More ›› 14 - You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's
not
good for you to go to bed on a full stomach... More ›› 15 - The
hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered
bed and board, but it was
impossible to say whi... More ›› 16 - Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make
your bed?
Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I... More ›› 17 - Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I
do?
Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll... More ›› 18 - I'd like to buy a bed,
please.
Certainly,
madam. Spring mattress?
Oh, no! I want to be able t... More ›› 19 - Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don't feel well.
Doctor: Don't worry, you'll just have to go to bed for... More ›› 20 - I was once in a play called
Breakfast In Bed.
Did you have a big role?
No, just toast and mar... More ›› 21 - Why did your sister keep running
around her
bed ?
Because she was trying to catch up with her s... More ›› 22 - How do you know when there is an elephant under
your bed ?
When your nose touches the ceiling !... More ›› 23 - When Mr Maxwell's wife left him,
he couldn't
sleep.
Why was that?
She had taken the bed.... More ›› 24 - Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?
Because she wanted to sleep like a log.... More ›› 25 - What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog
asleep on your bed?
Sleep on the sofa.... More ›› 26 - Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister's
bed?
Son: I couldn't find a spider.... More ›› 27 - Why
does your brother wear a life jacket in
bed?
Because he sleeps on a waterbed !... More ›› 28 - Shall I tell you the joke about the bed?
No,
because it hasn't been made up yet.... More ›› 29 - Why did the boy take the ruler to
bed?
He
wanted to see how long he slept.... More ›› 30 - What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?
Sleep in the wardrobe.... More ›› 31 - Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?
She
wanted to see how long she slept.... More ›› 32 - What do you call a python with a great bedside
manner?
A snake charmer.... More ›› 33 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bed !
Bed who
?
Bed you can't guess who I am!... More ›› 34 - Why did the composer spend all his time in
bed?
He wrote sheet music.... More ›› 35 - When does a bed grow longer?
At night, because
two feet are added to it.... More ›› 36 - When is your mind like a
rumpled bed?
When
it isn't made up yet.... More ›› 37 - Why did the kid punch the bed?
His mother told
him to hit the hay.... More ›› 38 - Why shouldn't you believe a
person in
bed?
Because he is lying.... More ›› 39 - What is the softest bed for a
baby to sleep
on?
Cot-on-wool.... More ›› 40 - What animal always goes to bed
with its shoes
on ?
A horse !... More ›› 41 - Why did the man take a pencil to
bed ?
To
draw the curtains !... More ›› 42 - Why are rivers lazy?
Because they never get off
their beds.... More ›› 43 - Why do you go to bed?
Because the bed will not
come to you.... More ›› 44 - What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?
Run!... More ›› 45 - Why did the bed spread?
Because it saw the
pillow slip.... More ›› 46 - How can you shorten a bed?
Don't sleep long
in it.... More ›› 47 - How can you shorten a bed?
Don't sleep long in
it.... More ›› 48 - Who stole the sheets from the bed?
Bed
buglars.... More ›› |
VOTE!
EMBED
