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BIOLOGIST JOKES!

biologist JOKES (random)

A group of goose biologists were meeting to brainstorm about the migration tactics of Canada geese.
They were particularly interested in applying for a $100,000 Federal grant to investigate the "V" formation of goose flight.
It had been observed that one side of the "V" is always longer than the other side.
This group would put together a research proposal to apply for the $100,000 grant and hopefully find out why this happens.
To start off the discussion, Todd, the Consulting Firm Biologist stands up and says in typical consultant fashion, "I say we ask for $200,000, and attempt to model the wind drag coefficients.
We can have our geologists record and map the ground topography and then our staff meteorologists can predict potential updraft currents.
Our internal CAD department can then produce 3-d drawings of the predicted wing tip vortices.
Then, after several years of study, our in-house publications department could produce a nice thick report full of charts and graphs." The Senior Research Biologist, a professor at the local university, cleared his throat and responded, "No, no!, That's not it at all.
We only need $150,000.
We can train a group of domesticated geese to fly in formations of equal length and then compare their relative fitness to wild geese.
We can then publish the results in the Journal of Wildlife Management.
About then, the hardworking field biologist stands up and begins walking for the door.
"Where are you going?" the group asks.
"I'm leaving" he replies, "I've heard enough.
No one has to give me $100,000 to find out that the reason one side of the "V" is longer is simply because there are more damn geese on that side!"

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY biologist JOKES:

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 2 - A wildlife biologist is working in the woods, miles from the nearest town. He's camped alone wit... More ››
 3 - A group of goose biologists were meeting to brainstorm about the migration tactics of Canada g... More ››
 4 - A biologist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into... More ››
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 7 - A wildlife biologist crew leader has several crews, each consisting of two biologists. The crews... More ››
 8 - A biologist had been working on a remote research project in the Amazon jungle. Upon his retur... More ››
 9 - Ben was assigned a new wildlife technician and she was driving him crazy. She was blonde and pre... More ››
 10 - A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As h... More ››
 11 - There were these two Engineers who decided they would go moose hunting in the backwoods of Briti... More ››
 12 - While driving down a steep and curvy logging road, a group of biologists loose control of their... More ››
 13 - Garvin the mammalogist, was in Alaska studying polar bear. In sub-zero weather, he would spend 7... More ››
 14 - A University had advertised for two biologists to help in their mammalogy department, specifical... More ››
 15 - A pair of biologists are studying terns on a rock island just off the coast. While walking on a... More ››
 16 - Two biologists are in the field following the tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a... More ››
 17 - A young biologist was sitting on a stump at the edge of their camp. On his face was the saddes... More ››
 18 - A biologist from the North Pole was showing a new recruit the ropes of a polar bear radio tracki... More ››
 19 - Dan had been studying whales for over 20 years and had made some thrilling breakthroughs regardi... More ››
 20 - A young wildlife biologist got fired from his first real wildlife job. Upon his return home, his... More ››
 21 - A boy frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are g... More ››
 22 - An 8th grade boy was doing some research for his career report at school. He asks his dad, "Fath... More ››
 23 - How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it and three to wr... More ››
 24 - "A bloke walks into a pub, and asks for a pint of Adenosinetriphosphate. The barman says "That'... More ››
 25 - How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it takes eight millio... More ››
 26 - How do you eat a DNA spaghetti? With a replication fork (you can also use your zinc fingers...)... More ››
 27 - Q: How so you call a member of the finacial staff of the faculty of Biology? A: A Buy-ologist.... More ››
 28 - A couple of biologists had twins. One they called John and the other control.... More ››
 29 - Q: what's a biologists definition of a graph A: an animal with a long neck... More ››
 30 - Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?... More ››
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