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bus JOKES (random)

How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar?
Throw it under a bus.

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 1 - Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, y... More ››
 2 - Bus passenger: I'd like a ticket to New York, please. Ticket seller: By Buffalo? Bus passenger... More ››
 3 - What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold? One knows the stops, the other stops th... More ››
 4 - What have I got in my hands? A double decker bus! You looked!... More ››
 5 - What "bus" crossed the ocean? Columbus.... More ››
 6 - A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little do... More ››
 7 - As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in... More ››
 8 - A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. There's no room,'... More ››
 9 - 'Is everyone in the bus?' asked the driver before he closed the door. 'No,' called a lady, '... More ››
 10 - Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the fro... More ››
 11 - Teacher: Tommy Russell, you're late again. Tommy: Sorry, sir. It's my bus - it's always coming l... More ››
 12 - When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs? I prefer to ride on to... More ››
 13 - Janet: What's the difference between a cake and a school bus ? Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm... More ››
 14 - Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today? No. Is there a strike? No,... More ››
 15 - Sam left work after a tiring day. 'Take the bus home,' suggested a friend. 'My mother would only... More ››
 16 - Did you say that you fell over fifty feet but didn't hurt yourself? Yes - I was trying to get... More ››
 17 - Do buses and trains run on time? Usually, yes. No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains... More ››
 18 - What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold? A bus driver knows the stops, and a col... More ››
 19 - What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk? I don't know but it could always get a... More ››
 20 - Q: What is a bus ? A: A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when... More ››
 21 - Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well, I won't stand in yo... More ››
 22 - Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York? Driver: Which part? Passenger: All of me, of cou... More ››
 23 - Conductor, this bus was very slow! Oh, I expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!... More ››
 24 - Why didn't anyone take the school bus to school? I wouldn't fit through the door.... More ››
 25 - Does this bus stop at the river? If it doesn't there'll be a very big splash.... More ››
 26 - Which end of a bus is it best to get off? It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.... More ››
 27 - What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ? The deceased !... More ››
 28 - Conductor, do you stop at the Savoy Hotel? I should say not, on my salary!... More ››
 29 - Why couldn't the skeleton pay his bus fare? Because he was skint.... More ››
 30 - How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar? Throw it under a bus.... More ››
 31 - Why did the bat miss the bus? Because he hung around for too long.... More ››
 32 - Have you seen the bus website? Yes - it's just the ticket!... More ››
 33 - How do eels get around the seabed? They go by octobus.... More ››
 34 - Why did the bus stop? Because it saw the zebra crossing.... More ››
 35 - What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head? Dead.... More ››
 36 - What do monsters play when they are in the bus? Squash.... More ››
 37 - What did the bus conductor say to the frog? Hop on.... More ››
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