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CAT JOKES!

cat JOKES (random)

How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
They never cry over spilt milk !

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY cat JOKES:

 1 - When you call a dog, they usually come to you. When you call a cat; they take a message.... More ››
 2 - For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know... More ››
 3 - A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry h... More ››
 4 - How do cats eat spaghetti ? The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!... More ››
 5 - How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling ? She's got that down in the mouth look !... More ››
 6 - Q: What did the female cat say to the male cat? - A: You're the purrfect cat for me!... More ››
 7 - Q: Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise? - A: It's meow-sic to their ears!... More ››
 8 - Q: What's every cat's favorite song? - A: Three Blind Mice!... More ››
 9 - Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Intere... More ››
 10 - What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck ? A duck filled fatty puss !... More ››
 11 - How do cats eat spaghetti ? The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!... More ››
 12 - What kind of cat should you take into the desert ? A first aid kitty !... More ››
 13 - Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day? - A: Mice cream... More ››
 14 - Q: What kind of cats lay around the house? - A: Car-pets!... More ››
 15 - What is a black cat's favourite TV show ? Miami Mice !... More ››
 16 - What cat purrs more than any other ? Purrsians !... More ››
 17 - What looks like half a cat ? The other half !... More ››
 18 - A woman is walking in the park when she sees a man playing chess with his cat. She says to the m... More ››
 19 - "Doctor," said the patient, "I need help! I can't stop acting like a cat!" "How long have you h... More ››
 20 - A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. "Excuse me", he said to the cat in charge, "Can you get... More ››
 21 - Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning? Because they're let out in the... More ››
 22 - There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left ? None. They were all copy c... More ››
 23 - What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese ? He waited by the mouse hole with baited bre... More ››
 24 - Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens? - A: Because she wanted to mail a litter.... More ››
 25 - What noise does a cat make going down the highway ? Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow !... More ››
 26 - What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ? An animal that puts you out a night !... More ››
 27 - Teacher: Name four members of the cat family Pupil: Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !... More ››
 28 - Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge ? Because it turns "ice" into "mice" !... More ››
 29 - What do you call a black cat than can spring up to a six foot wall ? A good jumpurr !... More ››
 30 - Q: What do you call a cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock? - A: Catsup!... More ››
 31 - How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? They never cry over spilt milk !... More ››
 32 - Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ? There was some money in the kitty !... More ››
 33 - Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !... More ››
 34 - Q: What do you call the loser in a hissing, scratching cat fight? - A: Claude... More ››
 35 - What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea ? A catameringue !... More ››
 36 - What did the black cat say to the fish ? I've got a bone to pick with you !... More ››
 37 - Q: What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross? - A: A first-aid kit!... More ››
 38 - What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ? A sourpuss !... More ››
 39 - Why did the cat sleep under the car ? Because she wanted to wake up oily !... More ››
 40 - What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ? An octopuss !... More ››
 41 - Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit ? They are both ginger nuts !... More ››
 42 - What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas ? Santa Claws !... More ››
 43 - Why do black cats never shave ? Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas !... More ››
 44 - What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws ? An acrocat !... More ››
 45 - Q: When is a bad time to cross a black cat? A: When you are a mouse!... More ››
 46 - Q: Where did the kittens go on their class trip? - A: To a mewseum.... More ››
 47 - Q: Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse? - A: Catch.... More ››
 48 - What is another way to describe a cat ? A heat seeking missile !... More ››
 49 - Q: Why do cats eat fur balls? - A: Because they love a good gag!... More ››
 50 - What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ? She had mittens !... More ››
 51 - Q: What kind of work does a weak cat do? - A: Light mouse work.... More ››
 52 - Brother: Did you put the cat out ? Sister: Why, is it on fire ?... More ››
 53 - What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree ? A cat-a-logue !... More ››
 54 - What is another way to describe a cat ? A heat seeking missile !... More ››
 55 - How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold ? He has cat-arrh !... More ››
 56 - On what should you mount a statue of your cat ? A caterpillar !... More ››
 57 - What's furry, has whiskers and chases outlaws ? A posse cat !... More ››
 58 - Which big cat should you never play cards with ? A cheetah !... More ››
 59 - Why was the cat so small ? Because it only ate condensed milk !... More ››
 60 - Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of the tree bark.... More ››
 61 - If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get? An a-cat-emy award.... More ››
 62 - What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ? A carrot !... More ››
 63 - What did the cat say when he lost all his money ? I'm paw !... More ››
 64 - Q: What do you call a cat who eats lemons? - A: A sourpuss!... More ››
 65 - Why are black cats such good singers? They're very mewsical.... More ››
 66 - Q: Why couldn't the cat speak? A: The dog taped his mouth.... More ››
 67 - What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have ? A catastrophe !... More ››
 68 - Who was the most powerful cat in China ? Chairman Miaow !... More ››
 69 - When is it unlucky to see a black cat ? When your a mouse !... More ››
 70 - What is the cat's favourite TV show ? The evening mews !... More ››
 71 - Why do tomcats fight ? Because they like raising a stink !... More ››
 72 - What do cat actors say on stage ? Tabby or not tabby !... More ››
 73 - Q: Where do cats write down notes? - A: Scratch Paper!... More ››
 74 - What does a cat call a bowl of mice ? A purrfect meal !... More ››
 75 - Q: What do you call it when a cat bites? - A: Catnip!... More ››
 76 - Q: Why does everyone love cats? - A: They're purr-fect!... More ››
 77 - Q: What's a cat's second favorite food? - A: Spa-catti!... More ››
 78 - Q: What do you call it when a cat stops? - A: A paws!... More ››
 79 - What is cleverer than a talking cat ? A spelling bee !... More ››
 80 - What do you call a cat wearing shoes ? Puss in boots !... More ››
 81 - What do cat actors say on stage ? Tabby or not tabby !... More ››
 82 - Q: How do cats buy things? - A: From a cat-alogue!... More ››
 83 - When the cat's away.....? The house smells better !... More ››
 84 - What do cats read in the morning ? Mewspapers !... More ››
 85 - How is cat food sold ? Usually purr can !... More ››
 86 - What is an octopus? An eight-sided cat.... More ››
 87 - What's a cat's favorite food? Petatoes!... More ››
 88 - Why do cats chase birds ? For a lark !... More ››
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