1 - I can't decide whether to buy a
bicycle or a
cow for my farm.
Well, wouldn't you look silly ri... More ››
2 - If you had a gun and you were being chased by a
bull and a mountain lion, which one would you sh... More ››
3 - A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows
should be milked.
"Oh, I reckon about the same... More ››
4 - What is the definition of "moon"?
tense of "moo"!... More ››
5 - Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.
Camper: Heard what?
Farmer: Of cow... More ››
6 - A man climbed over a fence into a
field to pick
some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, f... More ››
7 - Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into
the fence to keep from hitting the cow!
Was... More ››
8 - Did you hear about the farmer who
of his tractor in the cow pasture?
No! Did he h... More ››
9 - Pa's being
chased by a bull!
in tarnation do you want me to do about it?
Get me s... More ››
10 - I've just discovered a method for making wool out
But doesn't that make the cow feel... More ››
11 - Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to
She thought children should be seen an... More ››
12 - Why was he woman arrested on a
for wearing a silk dress?
She was charged with rust... More ››
13 - What do cows sing at their friends birthday
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to... More ››
14 - What did the mooron say when he saw the milk
cartons in the
"Hey! Look at the cow's nes... More ››
15 - What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel,
a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo!... More ››
16 - I hear you take milk baths.
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower!... More ››
17 - Teacher: Name five things that contain milk.
Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream ... and two cows!... More ››
18 - Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!... More ››
19 - Why did the farmer put his cow on
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!... More ››
20 - What did the farmer call the cow that would not
give him any milk ?
An udder failure !... More ››
21 - What do you call a group of cattle sent into
The first herd shot round the world!... More ››
22 - When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what
put on his head?
Steer phones!... More ››
23 - If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks,
Milk and quackers!... More ››
24 - What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the
end of the cow?
A tail pail!... More ››
25 - What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with
Pre-tanned leather.... More ››
26 - What is the golden rule for cows?
udders as you would have udders do to you!... More ››
27 - What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus
A cow that can milk itself !... More ››
28 - That bull you sold
me is a lazy
I told you he was a bum steer!... More ››
29 - Why did the
farmer put brandy in the cow's
He wanted to raised stewed beef!... More ››
30 - How did cows feel when the branding iron was
They were very impressed!... More ››
31 - What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists
An encownter group.... More ››
32 - Why wouldn't anyone play with the little
He was too much of a bully!... More ››
33 - If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what
would you get?
"Beeflt!"... More ››
34 - What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry,
A cowch potato!... More ››
35 - Why did the moron give
the sleepy cow a
He wanted her to hit the hay!... More ››
36 - Did you hear about the snobby cow?
she was a cutlet above the rest!... More ››
37 - Does running out of a
burning barn make a cow
No, only medium rare!... More ››
38 - That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Haven't found the durn thing yet!... More ››
39 - If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would
you have ?
Plenty of milk !... More ››
40 - Why do cows wear bells
Because their horns don't work.... More ››
41 - What do cows do when they're introduced?
give each other a milk shake!... More ››
42 - How to you know that cows will be in
It's a place of udder delight.... More ››
43 - What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension
A bad mood!... More ››
44 - What would you get if you crossed a cow with a
Hare in your milk!... More ››
45 - What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.... More ››
46 - What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the
Ground round!... More ››
47 - Why don't cows ever have any
Because the farmers milk them dry!... More ››
48 - What is the most
important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.... More ››
49 - What two members of the cow family go everywhere
Your calves!... More ››
50 - What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two
A bull pull!... More ››
51 - What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a
A cud thud!... More ››
52 - If you crossed a cow
with a goat, what would
Half and half!... More ››
53 - What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing
Hamburger!... More ››
54 - What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!... More ››
55 - Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
wants to keep it's Stockholm!... More ››
56 - What's the best way to make a bull sweat ?
Put him in a tight jumper !... More ››
57 - Cow: Why don't you shoo those flies?
I'll let them go barefoot!... More ››
58 - What do you call it when one bull spies on another
A steak-out!... More ››
59 - Why do cows like being told jokes ?
they like being amoosed !... More ››
60 - What is the definition of "derange"?
where de cowboys ride!... More ››
61 - When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns
his cow into pasture.... More ››
62 - Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of
A: Laughing stock.... More ››
63 - What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by
Shipped beef!... More ››
64 - What do you call it when cows do battle in outer
Steer Wars.... More ››
65 - What magazine makes cows stampede to the
Cows-mopolitan!... More ››
66 - Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case!... More ››
67 - What do you call a cow who argues with her
A bullfighter!... More ››
68 - What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a
Sir Loin!... More ››
69 - What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
cow walking backwards!... More ››
70 - Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria!... More ››
71 - If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
She'll cream you!... More ››
72 - What do you get when you cross a cow with a
A kangamoo!... More ››
73 - What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
A charmer farmer!... More ››
74 - What do cows usually
fly around in?
Helicowpters and Bulloons.... More ››
75 - What do cows wear when they're
Moo moos... More ››
76 - What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.... More ››
77 - What do you get if you cross a steer and a
Roost beef!... More ››
78 - What famous painting do cows love to look
The Moona Lisa!... More ››
79 - What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a
Cowboom!... More ››
80 - Why did the cow
jump over the moon?
to the Milky Way!... More ››
81 - Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
wanted rich milk!... More ››
82 - What do you call a cow that's just had a baby?
De-calfinated!... More ››
83 - Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
She heard he
was a cowpuncher!... More ››
84 - Q. What does a cow make when the sun
A. A shadow... More ››
85 - What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to
the mooooovies.... More ››
86 - What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla!... More ››
87 - What happens when a cow stops shaving?
grows a Moostache.... More ››
88 - What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy!... More ››
89 - What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Moosmallows!... More ››
90 - What happens when the cows refuse to be
Udder chaos!... More ››
91 - What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd!... More ››
92 - What did the calf say to the silo?
fodder in there?"... More ››
93 - What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
Moosician!... More ››
94 - What do you call a cow that doesn't give
A milk dud!... More ››
95 - What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
hole-y Cow!... More ››
96 - What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream!... More ››
97 - Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
pasteurized!... More ››
98 - What do cows read at the breakfast table?
moospaper!... More ››
99 - What do you call a cow on the barnyard
Ground Beef... More ››
100 - What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Filet delay!... More ››
101 - What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a... More ››
102 - Where
do cows like to ride on trains?
the cow-boose.... More ››
103 - Why are cpws made for dancing?
born hoofers!... More ››
104 - Is there big money in the cattle business?
I've herd!... More ››
105 - What do you get from an invisible cow?
Evaporated milk!... More ››
106 - What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer?
woolly bully!... More ››
107 - How did that bullfight come out?
Oh, it was a
toss-up!... More ››
108 - What do cows get when they do all their
Mooney.... More ››
109 - What do you get from a forgetful cow?
amnesia!... More ››
110 - How did the farmer find his lost cow?
tractor down... More ››
111 - What are cows favorite party games?
chairs!... More ››
112 - What are the spots on black-and-white
Holstaines... More ››
113 - What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk!... More ››
114 - How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo
stick.... More ››
115 - In what state will you find the most cows?
York!... More ››
116 - What did the cow wear to the football game?
Jersey.... More ››
117 - What do you call a cow with no front legs?
Lean Beef... More ››
118 - What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
battle!... More ››
119 - What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos!... More ››
120 - What do you call explosive cow vomit?
missle!... More ››
121 - What hair style is a calf's favorite?
cowlick!... More ››
122 - What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
steer!... More ››
123 - What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?
bull!... More ››
124 - Why do cows think cooks are mean?
cream!... More ››
125 - What do you call a sleeping
bull-dozer.... More ››
126 - What do you get from pampered cows?
milk!... More ››
127 - What game do little cows like to play?
Moonopoly.... More ››
128 - What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
class!... More ››
129 - How did the calf's final exam turn out?
A!... More ››
130 - What country do cows love to visit?
Zealand!... More ››
131 - What's a cow's favorite moosical
Beef-flat!... More ››
132 - How do bulls drive their cars?
them!... More ››
133 - What animals do you bring
calves.... More ››
134 - What did one dairy cow say to another?
milk?... More ››
135 - What do you get from a cowmedian?
Wit!... More ››
136 - What happened to the lost cattle?
herd.... More ››
137 - What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?
chow!... More ››
138 - What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Eyes!... More ››
139 - What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic!... More ››
140 - Where do steers go to dance?
To the Meat
Ball!... More ››
141 - Where does a cow stop to drink?
way!... More ››
142 - What is a cow's
favourite TV show ?
Moo !... More ››
143 - What's a moo hoo for a young calf?
moo!... More ››
144 - What is a cow's favorite lunch
Bullogna... More ››
145 - Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf... More ››
146 - Where do milk shakes come from?
cows!... More ››
147 - What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank!... More ››
148 - What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.... More ››
149 - How does a cow do math?
With a cowculator!... More ››
150 - Why was the calf afraid?
He was a cow-herd!... More ››
151 - What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out!... More ››
152 - What goes oo ooo oooo?
A cow with no lips.... More ››
153 - What US state has the most cows?
Moosouri!... More ››
154 - What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic!... More ››
155 - Where do Russian cows come from?
Moscow!... More ››
156 - What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues... More ››
157 - Where do cows like to live? St. Moo-is.... More ››