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COW JOKES!

cow JOKES (random)

How did that bullfight come out?
Oh, it was a toss-up!

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY cow JOKES:

 1 - I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well, wouldn't you look silly ri... More ››
 2 - If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you sh... More ››
 3 - What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!... More ››
 4 - Camper: Look at that bunch of cows. Farmer: Not bunch, herd. Camper: Heard what? Farmer: Of cow... More ››
 5 - A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, f... More ››
 6 - Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow! Was... More ››
 7 - Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he h... More ››
 8 - A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same... More ››
 9 - Pa's being chased by a bull! Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it? Get me s... More ››
 10 - I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk! But doesn't that make the cow feel... More ››
 11 - Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen an... More ››
 12 - Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was charged with rust... More ››
 13 - What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to... More ››
 14 - What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nes... More ››
 15 - What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo!... More ››
 16 - I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower!... More ››
 17 - Teacher: Name five things that contain milk. Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream ... and two cows!... More ››
 18 - Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!... More ››
 19 - Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!... More ››
 20 - What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !... More ››
 21 - What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world!... More ››
 22 - When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head? Steer phones!... More ››
 23 - If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks, what would you get? Milk and quackers!... More ››
 24 - What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail!... More ››
 25 - What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.... More ››
 26 - What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you!... More ››
 27 - What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ? A cow that can milk itself !... More ››
 28 - That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing! I told you he was a bum steer!... More ››
 29 - Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef!... More ››
 30 - How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed!... More ››
 31 - What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.... More ››
 32 - Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!... More ››
 33 - If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"... More ››
 34 - What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato!... More ››
 35 - Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!... More ››
 36 - Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!... More ››
 37 - Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare!... More ››
 38 - That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet!... More ››
 39 - If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have ? Plenty of milk !... More ››
 40 - Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.... More ››
 41 - What do cows do when they're introduced? They give each other a milk shake!... More ››
 42 - How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.... More ››
 43 - What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood!... More ››
 44 - What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit? Hare in your milk!... More ››
 45 - What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.... More ››
 46 - What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher? Ground round!... More ››
 47 - Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry!... More ››
 48 - What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.... More ››
 49 - What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves!... More ››
 50 - What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull!... More ››
 51 - What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud!... More ››
 52 - If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half!... More ››
 53 - What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger!... More ››
 54 - What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!... More ››
 55 - Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!... More ››
 56 - What's the best way to make a bull sweat ? Put him in a tight jumper !... More ››
 57 - Cow: Why don't you shoo those flies? Bull: I'll let them go barefoot!... More ››
 58 - What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out!... More ››
 59 - Why do cows like being told jokes ? Because they like being amoosed !... More ››
 60 - What is the definition of "derange"? De place where de cowboys ride!... More ››
 61 - When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.... More ››
 62 - Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.... More ››
 63 - What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef!... More ››
 64 - What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.... More ››
 65 - What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!... More ››
 66 - Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case!... More ››
 67 - What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter!... More ››
 68 - What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir Loin!... More ››
 69 - What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards!... More ››
 70 - Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria!... More ››
 71 - If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you!... More ››
 72 - What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo? A kangamoo!... More ››
 73 - What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer!... More ››
 74 - What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.... More ››
 75 - What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii? Moo moos... More ››
 76 - What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er.... More ››
 77 - What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef!... More ››
 78 - What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa!... More ››
 79 - What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!... More ››
 80 - Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!... More ››
 81 - Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk!... More ››
 82 - What do you call a cow that's just had a baby? De-calfinated!... More ››
 83 - Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher!... More ››
 84 - Q. What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A. A shadow... More ››
 85 - What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.... More ››
 86 - What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire? Dracowla!... More ››
 87 - What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.... More ››
 88 - What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy!... More ››
 89 - What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows!... More ››
 90 - What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos!... More ››
 91 - What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd!... More ››
 92 - What did the calf say to the silo? "Is my fodder in there?"... More ››
 93 - What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A Moosician!... More ››
 94 - What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud!... More ››
 95 - What do you call a cow that fell in a hole? A hole-y Cow!... More ››
 96 - What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream!... More ››
 97 - Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized!... More ››
 98 - What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper!... More ››
 99 - What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef... More ››
 100 - What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay!... More ››
 101 - What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a... More ››
 102 - Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.... More ››
 103 - Why are cpws made for dancing? They're all born hoofers!... More ››
 104 - Is there big money in the cattle business? So I've herd!... More ››
 105 - What do you get from an invisible cow? Evaporated milk!... More ››
 106 - What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer? A woolly bully!... More ››
 107 - How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up!... More ››
 108 - What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.... More ››
 109 - What do you get from a forgetful cow? Milk of amnesia!... More ››
 110 - How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down... More ››
 111 - What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs!... More ››
 112 - What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines... More ››
 113 - What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk!... More ››
 114 - How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.... More ››
 115 - In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York!... More ››
 116 - What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.... More ››
 117 - What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef... More ››
 118 - What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle!... More ››
 119 - What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos!... More ››
 120 - What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle!... More ››
 121 - What hair style is a calf's favorite? The cowlick!... More ››
 122 - What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer!... More ››
 123 - What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull!... More ››
 124 - Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!... More ››
 125 - What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.... More ››
 126 - What do you get from pampered cows? Spoiled milk!... More ››
 127 - What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.... More ››
 128 - What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class!... More ››
 129 - How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A!... More ››
 130 - What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand!... More ››
 131 - What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!... More ››
 132 - How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them!... More ››
 133 - What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves.... More ››
 134 - What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk?... More ››
 135 - What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit!... More ››
 136 - What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.... More ››
 137 - What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow!... More ››
 138 - What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes!... More ››
 139 - What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!... More ››
 140 - Where do steers go to dance? To the Meat Ball!... More ››
 141 - Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way!... More ››
 142 - What is a cow's favourite TV show ? Dr Moo !... More ››
 143 - What's a moo hoo for a young calf? A new moo!... More ››
 144 - What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna... More ››
 145 - Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf... More ››
 146 - Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows!... More ››
 147 - What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank!... More ››
 148 - What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.... More ››
 149 - How does a cow do math? With a cowculator!... More ››
 150 - Why was the calf afraid? He was a cow-herd!... More ››
 151 - What do you call a tired cow? Milked out!... More ››
 152 - What goes oo ooo oooo? A cow with no lips.... More ››
 153 - What US state has the most cows? Moosouri!... More ››
 154 - What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic!... More ››
 155 - Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow!... More ››
 156 - What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues... More ››
 157 - Where do cows like to live? St. Moo-is.... More ››
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