1 - Two small time thieves had been sent by the
Big Boss to
steal a van load of goods from a bathroo... More ››
2 - Why do they put a suicide watch on death row
would you care if a man you're plann... More ››
3 - t was Christmas and the judge was in a merry
mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charge... More ››
4 - What's another
word for a murderer who
kills old ladies?
A Killergran.... More ››
5 - Who is the
biggest gangster in the sea
Al Caprawn !... More ››
6 - It was
Rocky's first night in the
penitentiary. All of the inmates were in
their cells and he w... More ››
7 - Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
prison. During his stay, he got along well with the gua... More ››
8 - Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
prison. During his stay, he
got along well with the gua... More ››
9 - An English
prisoner of war was held by
the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over
the place... More ››
10 - A prisoner at
the Edmonton Max started
training a large fly to do tricks.
For years, for thou... More ››
11 - Late one
night, a burglar broke into a
house he thought was empty. He tiptoed
through the livi... More ››
12 - A
mafioso's son sits at his desk writing
a Christmas list to Jesus. He first
writes, "Dear bab... More ››
13 - Two men,
sentenced to die in the electric
chair on the same day were led down to
the room in w... More ››
14 - A computer geek goes to prison
they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy,
Having he... More ››
15 - A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to
steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Lis... More ››
16 - "What makes you think the
drunk?" asked the judge. "Well, Your Honor," replied the... More ››
17 - Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery
store because you were starving. So why didn't you take... More ››
18 - A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and
no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or tra... More ››
19 - When the school was broken into, the
thieves took absolutely everything - desks, books, blackboa... More ››
20 - The criminal mastermind found one of his
gang sawing the legs off his bed. "What are you doing t... More ››
21 - A police officer was escorting a
to jail when his hat blew off.
"Shall I run and get... More ››
22 - Judge: Tell me your occupation.
I'm a locksmith, Your Honour.
Judge: Then what were... More ››
23 - A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank,
pointed two fingers at
the clerk and said, "This is a m... More ››
24 - A woman woke her husband in the middle of the
night. "There's a
burglar downstairs eating the ca... More ››
25 - Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from
prison today. One is
orange and 9ft tall, and the oth... More ››
26 - A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was
about to be
"Have you any last reque... More ››
27 - Bill: Where did you
get that gold watch
Joe: I won it in a race.
Bill: How many people p... More ››
28 - "Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a
bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow.... More ››
29 - 'It's a pity
you've gone on hunger
strike,' said the convict's girlfriend on
visiting day. 'Wh... More ››
30 - Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn't any
good, it only has sentimental value.
Mugger: That's... More ››
31 - What is the difference between a thief and a
One steals from the people, the other... More ››
32 - Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they
took everything except the
soap and towels.
Harry... More ››
33 - Criminal: Why don't you hire these twins for
the robbery, boss?
Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a... More ››
34 - What did the burglar say to the
watchmaker as he tied him up?
Sorry to take so much of your va... More ››
35 - Detective: How did you
Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make mon... More ››
36 - Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables
on my desk?
Criminal: You said it was time to spill... More ››
37 - A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in
Who is driving the car?
A police o... More ››
38 - What did the
burglar say to the lady who
caught him stealing her silver?
I'm at your service,... More ››
39 - Detective: Do you think
I should put on
Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeve... More ››
40 - Why are burglars such good tennis players
Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts... More ››
41 - Policeman: Did you
know your vehicle was
Criminal: It wasn't when I took it.... More ››
42 - Did you hear about the burglar who fell in
Now he's a hardened criminal.... More ››
43 - If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man,
Organised grime (crime).... More ››
44 - What do you get if you cross a bunch of
with a burglar ?
Robbery with violets !... More ››
45 - Did you hear about the calendar thief?
got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!... More ››
46 - Who was the world's greatest thief
Atlas, because he held up the whole world !... More ››
47 - What kind of party do prisoners in jail
like most of all.
A going-away party.... More ››
48 - Why is a sinking ship like a
Because it needs bailing out.... More ››
49 - Why would someone in jail want to catch the
So he could break out.... More ››
50 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Burglar who ?
Burglars don't knock !... More ››
51 - What do you call a mayfly with a criminal
Baddy long legs !... More ››
52 - What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a
A Kong - vict !... More ››
53 - When did the criminal get smart?
judge threw the book at him.... More ››
54 - Why did the burglar take a shower?
wanted to make a clean getaway... More ››
55 - Judge: Why did you steal
Prisoner: For a lark, sir.... More ››
56 - What three letters in the alphabet frighten
F.B.I.... More ››
57 - What do you call a robbery in China ?
Chinese take away !... More ››
58 - What was the parrot doing in prison ?
was a jail-bird !... More ››
59 - Why do pens get sent to
prison ? To do
long sentences !... More ››
60 - What hired killer never goes to jail?
exterminator.... More ››
61 - What kind of robbery is not dangerous?
safe robbery.... More ››
62 - Why was the robber bionic?
He was holding
up a bank.... More ››
63 - Why was the robber so secure?
He was a
safe robber.... More ››
64 - I think I hear burglars, dear. Are you awake?
No!... More ››
65 - How do bank robbers send messages?
mail!... More ››
66 - What diploma do criminals get?
degree.... More ››
67 - What kind of thief steals meat?
hamburglar.... More ››
68 - Who is the strongest thief?
shoplifter.... More ››
69 - What stars go to jail?
Shooting stars.... More ››