1 - A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to
completely remove the dogs tail. The vet con... More ››
2 - Four workers
were discussing how smart their
dogs were. The first was an engineer
who said his... More ››
3 - Upon
entering the little country store, the
stranger noticed a sign saying;
DANGER! BEWARE OF... More ››
4 - What should you do if you have a basset hound over
Have a short table!... More ››
5 - What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ?
guard dog !... More ››
6 - What dog is always tired in London?
sleep dog.... More ››
7 - A local business was
looking for office help.
They put a sign in the window, stating the
follo... More ››
8 - A man is
walking down the street when he hears
a voice, "Pssst you come over
here!" He looks r... More ››
9 - A man took his Rottweiler to the
vet and said
to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you... More ››
10 - What did the elephant say when it saw the
Chihuahuas coming down the road?
Look out for the mi... More ››
11 - Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato
The tomato was in a can.... More ››
12 - Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for
a cat ?
Cats can't drive !... More ››
13 - What is the
best way to follow a lost dog's
With a track-tor!... More ››
14 - Which dog is always without
dog.... More ››
15 - A man and his dog went into a pub. The barman said
"Sorry mate no
dogs allowed in here!" The dog... More ››
16 - Paul got off
the elevator on the 40th floor
and nervously knocked on his blind
date's door. Sh... More ››
17 - Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by
boat and one says to
the other, "I hear
that... More ››
18 - A man was very proud of his guard
dog, he would
leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the w... More ››
19 - A man and his son were
shovelling the driveway
after a heavy snowfall when their dog, Lady, wand... More ››
20 - The front door
was accidentally left open and
our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully
whistling... More ››
21 - A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed
three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was ex... More ››
22 - Two women, who are dog owners,
which dog is smarter.
First woman: My dog is so smar... More ››
23 - Every time I tell my English Setter to stop
What does it do?
It just... More ››
24 - A hound dog and a dalmation were sitting in an
Internet cafe and the
dalmation said to the houn... More ››
25 - I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay.
to call him...
"Come here, Stay! Co... More ››
26 - A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another
walked up to it and started talking.
D... More ››
27 - What artistic dog
chews a lot and follows the
rules of the farm where it lives?
A Chihuahua th... More ››
28 - Why does the Hound of the
round and round before he lies down for the night?... More ››
29 - What do you
get if you cross a labrador and a
A dog that will run to the shop to get... More ››
30 - My dog is great at math.
how much is two minus two.
But two minus two is no... More ››
31 - Why did the dog's owner think his dog
When he asked the dog what six... More ››
32 - What is brown
and gray, has eight legs, and is
carrying a large trunk and a small
A C... More ››
33 - Why did the dog sleep so poorly?
By mistake he
plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and... More ››
34 - When George Washington was a general, why did he
like to have dogs around?
They were very help... More ››
35 - What did the angry man sing
when he found his
slippers chewed up by the new puppy ?
"I must thr... More ››
36 - Alsation: How come
you are always so well
behaved when you go on a walk with your master?
Chih... More ››
37 - What is the difference between Father Christmas
a warm dog ?
Father Christmas wears a whole... More ››
38 - What is the difference between Father
Christmas and a warm dog ?
Father Christmas wears a whole... More ››
39 - Small girl: I'd buy that dog, but
are too short! Clerk: Too short ? Why, all four of th... More ››
40 - If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching
band, what's his other favorite instrument to pla... More ››
41 - How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry
about having soap flakes for breakfast?
He foame... More ››
42 - How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry
having soap flakes for breakfast?
He foame... More ››
43 - Why did the thoughtful father buy his six children
He wanted a dog they could all pe... More ››
44 - How do you make a dog
scoops of ice cream, a couple of squirts of soda and a sm... More ››
45 - How do you find your dog if
he's lost in the
Put your ear up to a tree and listen for t... More ››
46 - Why should you never watch a video with a
It always plays with the "paws" button on... More ››
47 - What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog
A dog that can lick you from the other side of t... More ››
48 - When you catch your dog eating a dictionary, what
should you do?
Take the words right out of hi... More ››
49 - What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a
I don't know but I'll join in if it la... More ››
50 - What is the best kind of dog to ask for
A Chihuahua, because it knows all the shor... More ››
51 - What do you get if you cross a dog with a
blind mole ?
A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tr... More ››
52 - How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped
you to set up your computer?
With dog disket... More ››
53 - What do you get if you cross a dog
A dog that has somewhere to put its own lea... More ››
54 - What is the difference between a dog and
If you don't know you must lose a lot of ma... More ››
55 - What is black and white and red all over?
Chihuahua in a tuxedo that tripped into a jar of sal... More ››
56 - Q: How do you get a dog to stop
barking in the
back seat of a car? - A: Put him in the front sea... More ››
57 - What do you get if you cross
a giraffe with a
An animal that barks at low flying aircraft... More ››
58 - When is the
most likely time that a stray dog
will walk into your house ?
When the door is open... More ››
59 - What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off
He gets splinters in his mouth... More ››
60 - Why did the dog have a gleam in his
Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth... More ››
61 - What happened to the dog that fell into a
He made a spectacle of himself... More ››
62 - Would you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or
I'd rather have him chase the tiger... More ››
63 - Q: Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog? - A: So
that they didn't
have to bend down to pet it.... More ››
64 - What happened to the
dog that ate nothing but
His bark was much worse than it's bite !... More ››
65 - What should you know before you teach your
a new trick?
You should know more than your dog.... More ››
66 - Q: When's the best time to take your doberman
pinscher for a
walk? - A: Anytime he wants to go.... More ››
67 - What do you get if you cross a dog and a
A dog that chases cars - and catches them !... More ››
68 - What do you call a dog with no legs ?
doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come !... More ››
69 - Why is a dog with a lame leg
like adding 6 and
He puts down the three and carries the one.... More ››
70 - Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you?
Chihuahua: No, I was playing throw with her!... More ››
71 - What do you get if you cross a
computer and a
A computer with a lot of bites !... More ››
72 - Why do Chihuahuas have such short
Because their heads are so close to their bodies!... More ››
73 - What did the dog do with the history
They got together and talked over old times.... More ››
74 - Why didn't the dog play
cards on his ocean
Because the captain stood on the deck.... More ››
75 - Why didn't the dog
speak to his foot
Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !... More ››
76 - What do you
call a litter of young dogs who
have come in from the snow ?
Slush puppies !... More ››
77 - What is the difference between a barking dog and
The umbrella can be shut up.... More ››
78 - Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ?
it's not polite to talk back to your paw !... More ››
79 - Q: When is a strange dog
most likely to go
into your house? - A: When the door is open.... More ››
80 - Why do dogs turn around three
One good turn deserves another.... More ››
81 - Why is a dog like a baseball
runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.... More ››
82 - Advertisement: Dog for sale. Really gentle. Eats
anything. Especially fond of children.... More ››
83 - What did the dog take when he was run down?
license number of the car that hit him.... More ››
84 - What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a
A hen that lays pooched eggs.... More ››
85 - Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? - A:
Because you can't bury them in the sky!... More ››
86 - What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell
tall stories ?
A shaggy dogs tale !... More ››
87 - Why is a dog like a baseball player?
for home when he sees the catcher coming.... More ››
88 - What do you get when you cross a collie with a
A Lassie who plays brassie!... More ››
89 - What do you get if you
cross a dog and a sheep
A sheep that can round itself up !... More ››
90 - What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a
A hen that lays pooched eggs.... More ››
91 - Why doesn't a dog
ever have a nose 12 inches
Because then it would be a foot.... More ››
92 - What do you get if cross two young dogs with a
of headphones ?
Hush puppies !... More ››
93 - What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats
a dog, but isn't a dog?
A pup.... More ››
94 - What is the best kind of dog to direct traffic at
A pointer!... More ››
95 - How do you keep a dog from barking in your
Put him in your back yard.... More ››
96 - Alsation: Why do you like to go on camping
Chihuahua: I like to "ruff it!... More ››
97 - When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs?
Only when they snap at something!... More ››
98 - Q: Why is a dog's nose in the middle of
face? - A: Because it's the scenter.... More ››
99 - What do you get if you take a really big dog out
for a walk ?
A Great Dane out !... More ››
100 - What did the dog do when the panhandler
the bite on him?
Bit him, naturally.... More ››
101 - Q: What
happened when the dog went to the flea
circus? - A: It stole the
show!... More ››
102 - Why is it called a "litter" of
Because they mess up the whole house !... More ››
103 - What happened when the shaggy dog
He wasn't able to stir.... More ››
104 - What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound
in your kitchen?
Eat out.... More ››
105 - How did the Chihuahua disappear
on the road?
It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!... More ››
106 - Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ?
was trying to make both ends meet !... More ››
107 - Why does a d dog scratch himself?
He is the
only one that knows where it itches.... More ››
108 - Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into
To a weterinarian!... More ››
109 - Why do dogs bury bones in
Because you can't bury them in trees !... More ››
110 - I just spotted a Chihuahua!
That wasn't very
nice, you shouldn't draw on dogs!... More ››
111 - How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at
He used a skeleton key.... More ››
112 - Alsation: I'll see you shortly.
Okay, but don't call me "Shortly!"... More ››
113 - Q: Why did the dog cross the road? - A: Because it
was the chickens day off.... More ››
114 - Why did the dog wear white sneakers ?
his boots were at the menders !... More ››
115 - What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a
That hit the spots !... More ››
116 - What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a
The collie wobbles !... More ››
117 - What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an
Australian dog ?
Dingo Starr !... More ››
118 - What is worse than a
dog howling at the
Two dogs howling at the moon.... More ››
119 - What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a
That hit the spots !... More ››
120 - How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a
Terrier-fied !... More ››
121 - What dog would you want on your American football
A golden receiver!... More ››
122 - What do you get when you cross a
A Doberman fincher!... More ››
123 - What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater
A plain clothes police dog !... More ››
124 - What place of business helps dogs who have lost
A retail store.... More ››
125 - Why do dogs wag their
one else will do it for them !"... More ››
126 - How many seasons are there in a dogs life
Just one, the moulting season !... More ››
127 - Why did the dog mistake the dog catcher for
He was colour-blind.... More ››
128 - Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?
To see who shot his "paw."... More ››
129 - What happened when the dog went to the flea circus
He stole the show !... More ››
130 - What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy
A mutt in a rut !... More ››
131 - What is a dog who crosses the street twice in
A double crosser.... More ››
132 - Why was the mother flea so unhappy?
children had gone to the dogs.... More ››
133 - Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers?
They have short tales!... More ››
134 - What wears a black, white, and tan coat but has no
A bald beagle!... More ››
135 - Q: What has got four legs and an arm?
- A: A
Rottweiler in a playground.... More ››
136 - What is black and white and red all over?
Dalmatian with a bad sunburn.... More ››
137 - What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid
A Doberman puncher!... More ››
138 - What kind of dog can you best see in the
A glowberman pinscher!... More ››
139 - How do
you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a
Melon-collie !... More ››
140 - Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a
They're all paws.... More ››
141 - Which dog eats with its tail?
All dogs keep
their tails on when eating.... More ››
142 - Alsation: How did you find the fleas?
I didn't! They found me!... More ››
143 - Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire?
want to become a hot dog.... More ››
144 - Q:
Why does a dog wag it's tail? - A: No one
else will do it for them... More ››
145 - What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a
A collie-flower !... More ››
146 - Where do you usually find dogs?
It all depends
on where you lose them.... More ››
147 - Dad, I spotted a Dalmatian!
No need to, it
already has its own spots!... More ››
148 - How many hairs are in a dog's tail?
are all on the outside.... More ››
149 - Q. What did the dog say when he sat on
A. "Rough rough".... More ››
150 - What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by
The wrong answer.... More ››
151 - What should you do if you see a vicious
Hope he doesn't see you.... More ››
152 - Why did the dog run in circles?
He was a
watchdog and needed winding.... More ››
153 - What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball?
Philadelphia Beagles!... More ››
154 - What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an
A tusky!... More ››
155 - What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?
A complaint Bernard!... More ››
156 - What dog sweats the most and drinks the most
A hot-weiler!... More ››
157 - What did the cowboy say when the bear ate
"Well, doggone !"... More ››
158 - What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde
A jet setter !... More ››
159 - Why do dogs
run in circles ?
hard to run in squares !... More ››
160 - What game do 18 dogs like to
play during the
Woofleball... More ››
161 - What was the dog doing on the turnpike?
seven miles an hour.... More ››
162 - What dogs are best for sending telegrams ?
haired terriers !!... More ››
163 - What dog wears a white coat and does science
Labs!... More ››
164 - What kind of dog doesn't do well in hot weather?
A faint Bernard!... More ››
165 - Why did the dog jump into the sea?
He wanted to
chase the catfish!... More ››
166 - Q: How did bulldogs get such flat
noses? - A:
From chasing cars.... More ››
167 - Q: What goes "krab, krab, krab"? - A: A dog
barking in a
mirror.... More ››
168 - Where did the dog breeder keep his savings ? In
bank !... More ››
169 - What is a dog's favourite food ?
is on your plate !... More ››
170 - What is taller when it sits down than
A dog.... More ››
171 - Alsation: What is your
Chihuahua: Howloween!... More ››
172 - Q:
What do you say to a dog before he eats? -
A: Bone appetite!... More ››
173 - Q: What did the puppy say when he sat on sand
paper? - A:
RUFF!... More ››
174 - How can you tell a dog from an elephant?
elephant remembers.... More ››
175 - What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?
A short one!... More ››
176 - What dog do other dogs go to when they
A docs-hund!... More ››
177 - What kind of dog sounds
like you can eat it
A sausage dog !... More ››
178 - What kind
of pants do you buy for your pet
Shorts!... More ››
179 - When does a dog go "moo" ?
When it is learning
a new language !... More ››
180 - How did the dog feel when he lost his
Delighted.... More ››
181 - What did the dog say when he chased his
This is the end.... More ››
182 - When is a black dog not a black dog ?
it's a greyhound !... More ››
183 - Why did the dog say he was an
leg was in a cast.... More ››
184 - Why can't Chihuahuas run marathons?
short of breath!... More ››
185 - What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes?
small hankie!... More ››
186 - Q: What kind of dog does a dracula like? - A: A
Bloodhound.... More ››
187 - What would you call a nine day old dog in
A puppy.... More ››
188 - Why is a dog so
warm in Summer?
He wears a
coat and pants.... More ››
189 - Where will a springer spaniel never shop?
flea market!... More ››
190 - How can if
you have a stupid dog ?
chases parked cars !... More ››
191 - What do dogs have that
no other animal has
Puppy dogs !... More ››
192 - What is a dogs favourite flower ?
your garden !... More ››
193 - Q: What side of the dog has the most fur? - A: The
Outside.... More ››
194 - What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?
dingo-ling !... More ››
195 - What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog
Chump chops !... More ››
196 - What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?
tennis ball!... More ››
197 - What is a collie puppy's favorite toy?
chew-chew train!... More ››
198 - How can you make a basset hound fast?
away its food!... More ››
199 - How do you stop a dog smelling ?
Put a peg on
it's nose !... More ››
200 - What kind of dog is a person's best friend?
palmatian!... More ››
201 - What kind of dog always needs a shave?
bearded collie!... More ››
202 - What dog always gets on everyone's nerves?
great pane!... More ››
203 - Q: What's got four legs and no ears?
Tyson's dog.... More ››
204 - What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ?
petticoat !... More ››
205 - Where do Eskimos train
their dogs ?
mush room !... More ››
206 - How can you tell a dog from a tomato?
tomato is red.... More ››
207 - What dog
is a cousin to the Dalmatian?
spot-weiler!... More ››
208 - What kind of computers do chihuahuas like
Lap-top!... More ››
209 - What is a Chihuahua's
Miniature golf!... More ››
210 - What kind of dog is the most colorful?
Bernard!... More ››
211 - What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ?
hound !... More ››
212 - How did the dog make anti-freeze?
He stole her
blanket.... More ››
213 - What is a dog's favourite sport ?
drooling !... More ››
214 - What dog rides a horse named Macaroni?
poodle!... More ››
215 - What kind of dog chases anything
bull dog !... More ››
216 - How did the dog make gold soup?
He put in 24
carrots.... More ››
217 - What did the dog say to the pig?
You are just a
bore.... More ››
218 - Which dog looks like a cat?
A police dog in
disguise.... More ››
219 - What do you call a black Eskimo dog ?
husky !... More ››
220 - What dog wears contact lenses ?
spaniel !... More ››
221 - What is your dog's favorite breakfast?
Pooched eggs!... More ››
222 - Who is the dogs favourite comedian ?
Marx !... More ››
223 - What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 feet?
dogs.... More ››
224 - What dog takes the money and runs fast!
payhound!... More ››
225 - What do you call a happy Lassie ?
collie !... More ››
226 - What did the dog use to
Flypaper.... More ››
227 - What did the dog use to make his
Flypaper.... More ››
228 - What kind of modeling clay does a dog use?
Fi-Do!... More ››
229 - What's a dog favourite hobby ?
fleas !... More ››
230 - What kind of dog is the smartest?
brain!... More ››
231 - What is the dogs
favourite city ?
Yorkie !... More ››
232 - What do you call a boring
dull-mation!... More ››
233 - What is a baseball dog?
One that chases
fowls.... More ››
234 - Which dog tastes better when eaten?
dog.... More ››
235 - What kind of dog can tell time?
clockshund!... More ››
236 - What do you call an alcoholic dog ?
!... More ››
237 - When is a dog most impolite?
When he points.... More ››
238 - What dogs never get lost?
Newfound-lands!... More ››
239 - Which dog can tell time?
A watchdog.... More ››