1 - One day, Bill and Tom went to a
dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks... More ››
2 - When the waitress in a
New York City restaurant brought
him the soup du jour, the Englishman
w... More ››
3 - And what's your name?" the
the next new boy. "Butter." "I hope your first
name... More ››
4 - A
couple of kids tried using pickles for a
Ping-Pong game. They had the
volley of the Dills.... More ››
5 - WIFE: The 2 things I cook best
and apple pie.
HUSBAND: Which is this?... More ››
6 - What's the fastest cake in the world?
Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.... More ››
7 - What's red and green and wears
A fruit punch.... More ››
8 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Beef fair now !... More ››
9 - Q: What do you call cheese that's not
A: Nacho cheese!... More ››
10 - What cheese is made
Edam.... More ››
11 - A man
went into a deli shop and took a seat
at the lunch counter. "Give me a
corned beef sandw... More ››
12 - A customer was bothering the waiter in a
First, he asked that the air conditioning b... More ››
13 - A customer was bothering the
waiter in a
restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning b... More ››
14 - An elderly couple were killed in an accident and
being given a tour of heaven b... More ››
15 - An elderly couple were killed in an
and found themselves being given a tour of heaven b... More ››
16 - In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a
32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were a... More ››
17 - At a dinner party, one
of the guests, an
obnoxiously loud young
man, tried to make clever rema... More ››
18 - An
irate woman burst into the baker's shop
and said, "I sent my son in for
two pounds of cooki... More ››
19 - A friend and I were standing in line at a
fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
T... More ››
20 - A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered
slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream co... More ››
21 - Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to
Father: Have I not told you never to mention suc... More ››
22 - The
American tourist in Dublin had been
complaining a great deal about the
"Here," h... More ››
23 - I went to see my doctor to see if he could help
me give up smoking.
What did he say?
He sugg... More ››
24 - A family of three tomatoes
downtown one day when the little baby tomato started
l... More ››
25 - A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown
one day when the little baby tomato started lag... More ››
26 - A lady was picking through the
at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big en... More ››
27 - At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after
egg from a little
"There!" he said p... More ››
28 - Several women were discussing what they should
dinner. "If you're watching your weight,... More ››
29 - First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her
had the glow of a peach, her cheeks were l... More ››
30 - "May I take your order?" the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"
"Nothing s... More ››
31 - Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to
instil good table manners in her girls?
She t... More ››
32 - Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the
larder yesterday, and now there's only one. Why... More ››
33 - What are the four food groups?
bachelors: Fast, Frozen, Junk and Spoiled.
For drinkers: Ma... More ››
34 - Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch
Cook: There is.
Fred: No, there isn't. T... More ››
35 - WIFE: "You look tired, honey. How about a
nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for desse... More ››
36 - What could you do if you were on a
island without food or water?
Open your watch: drink... More ››
37 - Three cookies were crossing the road when the
first one was knocked down. What did the third coo... More ››
38 - A tourist walked into a fish and chip shop in
Ireland. "I'll have fish and chips twice," he orde... More ››
39 - Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are
we running so fast?" asked one.
"Because," sai... More ››
40 - Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are
we running so
fast?" asked one.
"Because," sai... More ››
41 - If there were no food left, what could people
Country people could eat their forest preserves... More ››
42 - Flo: Try some of my sponge cake.
Joe: It's a
Flo: That's strange. I only bought the... More ››
43 - What's the difference between a biscuit and a
You can dip a biscuit in your tea, but a... More ››
44 - Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones?
Jones: Yes, very much.
Girl: That's funny. My mom... More ››
45 - Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found
with your fingers in the butter again?
That's funny... More ››
46 - Boy: What's black, slimy,
with hairy legs
and eyes on stalks?
Mom: Eat the cookies and don't w... More ››
47 - Don't eat the cookies so fast they'll keep.
I know, but I want to eat as many as I can before I... More ››
48 - How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove s... More ››
49 - What did the snake say when he was offered a
cheese for dinner?
Thank you, I'll just... More ››
50 - Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to
away from that cookie tin?
No more, mom. It... More ››
51 - How can you tell the
difference between a can
of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?
Read t... More ››
52 - Q: Ever wonder
about people who pay $2 for a
bottle of Evian water?
A: Just spell "Evian" bac... More ››
53 - My Aunt Maud had so many candles
on her last
birthday cake that all her party guests got sunburn... More ››
54 - Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a
Doctor: You've got to stop loafing aroun... More ››
55 - Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what
would it remind you of?
Pupil: A pear.... More ››
56 - Camper: There's
something wrong with my hot
Cook: Don't tell me. I'm not a veterinarian.... More ››
57 - What happens
if you play tabletennis with a
First it goes ping, then it goes pong.... More ››
58 - What's the difference between a homeless and a
A pizza can feed a family of four.... More ››
59 - How do you know that a elephant's been in the
There are foot prints in the butter. "... More ››
60 - What's the difference between a vampire
You can't dip a vampire in your tea.... More ››
61 - What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter
of a pound of ground beef?
A humburger.... More ››
62 - What did the female mushroom say
"He's a real fun guy [fungi]."... More ››
63 - Q. What's worse
than finding a worm in the
apple you're eating?
A. Finding half a worm.... More ››
64 - Why can't you make bread like my mother?
would if you could make dough like your father!... More ››
65 - I thought you were trying to get into shape?
am. The shape I've selected is a triangle.... More ››
66 - My brother's on a seafood
Yes, the more he sees food the more he eats.... More ››
67 - On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker
under the pancakes. She blew her stack.... More ››
68 - Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch
Be quiet and finish your coleslaw!... More ››
69 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Butter who ?
Butter wrap up - it's cold out here !... More ››
70 - A new chef from India
was fired a week after
starting the job. He keep favoring curry.... More ››
71 - Why did the teacher have
her hair in a bun?
Because she had her nose in a hamburger.... More ››
72 - Q: What did one strawberry say to the
A:"Look at the jam you've gotten us into!"... More ››
73 - Why did your brother give up his job in the
Because he went crackers.... More ››
74 - Have you got any broken
Well, you shouldn't be so clumsy!... More ››
75 - Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula:
chocolate fudge cake...... More ››
76 - What is the title of the new Vietnamamese
100 way to wok your dog.... More ››
77 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bacon a cake for your birthday !... More ››
78 - Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is
butter made from imitation cows.... More ››
79 - Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine?
They keep repeating themselves.... More ››
80 - Did
you hear about the two peanuts walking in
One was "a-salted."... More ››
81 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bean working very hard today !... More ››
82 - What did the ice cream say
to the unhappy
"Hey, what's eating you?"... More ››
83 - The snack bar next door to an
was called "The Fission Chips."... More ››
84 - A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he
suffers from pickled hearing.... More ››
85 - What did the biscuit say when it
friends knocked down?
Crumbs!... More ››
86 - What do you call an egg from outer space?
unidentified flying omelet!... More ››
87 - I'd say he was spineless.
Yes, about as
spineless as cooked spaghetti.... More ››
88 - What sort of soup do
with plenty of body in it.... More ››
89 - Why did the biscuit cry?
Because its mother
had been a wafer so long.... More ››
90 - Have you heard the story about the
Oh, crumbs.... More ››
91 - What do you get if you cross an alien and a
hot drink ?
Gravi-tea !... More ››
92 - Q:
What what can you make from baked beans
A: Tear gas.... More ››
93 - Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?
Baby, what's SHAKING!... More ››
94 - Why did the grape cross the road?
away from the grapefruit.... More ››
95 - They say she has a sharp tongue.
Yes, she can
slice bread with it.... More ››
96 - Do you feel like a glass of carrot juice?
Why? Do I look like one?... More ››
97 - Would you like a duck egg for supper?
you quack it for me.... More ››
98 - When Lee ate raw onions for a week what did he
Lone Lee.... More ››
99 - Q.Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
was feeling crummy!... More ››
100 - What looks just
like half a loaf of bread?
Its other half.... More ››
101 - What do you call two
rows of cabbages ?
dual cabbageway !... More ››
102 - Why are oranges like bells?
You can peel
(peal) both of them.... More ››
103 - The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and
Chocolate.... More ››
104 - Overweight is something that just sort of
snacks up on you.... More ››
105 - How can you make a soup rich?
Add 14 carrots
(carats) to it.... More ››
106 - What food are you able to can?
able) food.... More ››
107 - What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
hamster.... More ››
108 - What ghost is handy in the
recipe spook.... More ››
109 - What
cake wanted to rule the world?
Attila the Bun.... More ››
110 - What musical instrument goes with cheese?
Picklelo.... More ››
111 - Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay
waiter."... More ››
112 - What do cannibals eat for breakfast?
host.... More ››
113 - What's a fresh vegetable? One that insults a
farmer.... More ››
114 - Q: What do you call a
Impasta.... More ››
115 - How do you make gold soup?
Put 14 carrots in
it.... More ››
116 - What food is good for the brain?
soup.... More ››
117 - What's the best day to eat bacon?
Fry-day.... More ››
118 - What's red and invisible?
tomatoes.... More ››
119 - What vegetable needs a plumber?
A leek.... More ››
120 - What's a doll's favorite food?
Barbie-Q!... More ››