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ghost JOKES (random)

How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat?
You use a spirit level.

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 1 - A butler came running into his important master's office. "Sir, sir, there's a ghost in the co... More ››
 2 - What happened to the ghost who went to a party? He had a wail of a time.... More ››
 3 - Knock Knock Who's there ! Boo ! Boo who ? Just Boo ! I'm a ghost !... More ››
 4 - One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a s... More ››
 5 - A man was staying in a big old house and in the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost sa... More ››
 6 - Student l: "Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?" Student 2: "They are?... More ››
 7 - Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgue - you know what th... More ››
 8 - Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don't worry, ma'am, I'm j... More ››
 9 - What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub? The landlord said "Sorry, we do... More ››
 10 - Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ? She was trying... More ››
 11 - What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips? Snacks that go crunch in t... More ››
 12 - What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play? "Don't get your sheets d... More ››
 13 - Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Wha... More ››
 14 - Did you hear about the ghost who enjoyed doing housework? He used to go round with the oooo-ve... More ››
 15 - What is the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car? They fasten their sheet (seat) belt... More ››
 16 - How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living? By appearing in television spooktaculars.... More ››
 17 - Did you hear about the ghost who learnt to fly? He was pleased to be back on terror-firma.... More ››
 18 - Why are haunted houses so noisy in April? That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!... More ››
 19 - What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?- They boo-kle their seatbelts... More ››
 20 - What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you're spooken to.... More ››
 21 - Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."... More ››
 22 - What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in people.... More ››
 23 - What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day? A booquet of flowers.... More ››
 24 - Why don't ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks.... More ››
 25 - What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off ? Ban-she, ban-she !... More ››
 26 - Did you hear about the ghost who went on safari? He was a big-game haunter!... More ››
 27 - Why did the ghost go to the funfair. He wanted to go on the rollerghoster.... More ››
 28 - What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor.... More ››
 29 - What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost. Fasten your sheet belt.... More ››
 30 - How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint? He gets pale as a sheet.... More ››
 31 - Why did the ghost work at Scotland Yard? He was the Chief In-Spectre.... More ››
 32 - How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.... More ››
 33 - What do you call a ghost that stays out all night? Afresh air freak.... More ››
 34 - What do you call the ghost who is a child-rearing expert? Dr Spook.... More ››
 35 - Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread-ged the lake.... More ››
 36 - This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't think what possessed her.... More ››
 37 - Who said "Shiver me timbers!" on the ghost ship? The skeleton crew.... More ››
 38 - What are pupils at ghost schools called? Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls.... More ››
 39 - Why is a ghost like an empty house? Because there's no body there!... More ››
 40 - Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane.... More ››
 41 - How did the bootician style the ghost's hair? With a scare dryer!... More ››
 42 - What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica!... More ››
 43 - What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival? The roller ghosted.... More ››
 44 - Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.... More ››
 45 - Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.... More ››
 46 - When do ghosts play tricks on each other? On April Ghoul's Day... More ››
 47 - What do young ghosts write their homework in? Exorcise books.... More ››
 48 - What did the little ghost eat for lunch? A booloney sandwich!... More ››
 49 - Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo-ping cough.... More ››
 50 - What do you call a ghost at midnight? A sheet in the dark!... More ››
 51 - Where does a ghost refuel his Porsche? At a ghastly station.... More ››
 52 - What do you call a ghost who's always sleeping? Lazy bones.... More ››
 53 - What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.... More ››
 54 - When do ghosts usually appear? Just before someone screams.... More ››
 55 - What do ghosts watch if they want to relax? Skelly-vision!... More ››
 56 - What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? Hoblin Goblin.... More ››
 57 - What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A holy terror.... More ››
 58 - What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius.... More ››
 59 - Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers... More ››
 60 - What is a ghost's favorite Wild West town? Tombstone.... More ››
 61 - What kind of street does a ghost like best? A dead end.... More ››
 62 - What European capital has the most ghosts? Boodapest!... More ››
 63 - What do ghosts like about riding horses? Ghoulloping.... More ››
 64 - Which day of the week do ghosts like best? Moandays.... More ››
 65 - Where would you take a ghost for lunch? Pizza Haunt!... More ››
 66 - What is a ghost boxer called? A phantomweight.... More ››
 67 - Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.... More ››
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