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gorilla JOKES (random)

Why did the Gorilla fail English?
He had little Ape-titude!

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 1 - A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing... More ››
 2 - A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his... More ››
 3 - When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree, where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branch... More ››
 4 - What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard? It would drink the brand... More ››
 5 - What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were com... More ››
 6 - Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two? Because they are excel... More ››
 7 - What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla? Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth t... More ››
 8 - How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla? He made a mistake and dialled... More ››
 9 - Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright? Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'... More ››
 10 - What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas? As little as possible, dummy!... More ››
 11 - Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: They have big fingers.... More ››
 12 - How does a Gorilla become another animal? When a Mafia don hires a 'big Gorilla' to be his bodygu... More ››
 13 - What did the great Ape shout to the pilots who tried to shoot him off the skyscraper? Listen, h... More ››
 14 - Why did the girl Gorilla, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding? Because in the la... More ››
 15 - Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies? Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter,... More ››
 16 - Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall bu... More ››
 17 - How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge? He had seen a sign saying, 'Uncle... More ››
 18 - What's black, brown and white, black, brown and white, brown and white, etc.? A Gorilla riding... More ››
 19 - When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory? The day they started to manufacture a... More ››
 20 - Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head? A. He thought he was a gori... More ››
 21 - What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl? I can't help it - she brings out the... More ››
 22 - What did the great Ape say as he plummeted from the skyscraper? Listen baby, I think I'm fallin... More ››
 23 - Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods? They like any jungle - even a blackboar... More ››
 24 - How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes? Hold up your arm and say 'Go back, you didn't say 'M... More ››
 25 - Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money? It's dangerous to let him put the bite on yo... More ››
 26 - How do you make a Gorilla float? Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla... More ››
 27 - If you put 30 female Apes and 30 male Apes in a bedroom, what do you have? A very large bedroom... More ››
 28 - Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues? His balk was worse than his bite... More ››
 29 - Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent? The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite... More ››
 30 - Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!... More ››
 31 - Q. Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race? A. Because all his friends shout, "GO-RILLA!"... More ››
 32 - Why did the Gorilla visit Italy? An advertisement's headline enticed him - See Ape-les and die!... More ››
 33 - Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter? They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!... More ››
 34 - Why did the Ape jump off the building? He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!... More ››
 35 - What happened when the Ape won the door prize? He didn't take it - he already had a door!... More ››
 36 - How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm? They'll both bite at anything!... More ››
 37 - What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus? You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!... More ››
 38 - Why do primates do so well in show biz? Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!... More ››
 39 - How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching? He barked g-r-r-r-illa!... More ››
 40 - Q: What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? A: Rhesus Pieces.... More ››
 41 - How come the giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper? The elevator was broken!... More ››
 42 - Which author do the Gorillas love most? Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'... More ››
 43 - How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!... More ››
 44 - Why do Apes like tall buildings? They want to climb the heights of the business world!... More ››
 45 - If George Raft's wife gave birth to twin Gorillas, would they be the Apes of Raft?... More ››
 46 - Q: What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree? A: A gorilla with a machine gun.... More ››
 47 - If you throw a great Ape into one of the Great Lakes, what will it become? Wet!... More ››
 48 - Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most? Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!... More ››
 49 - What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign, 'Clean Washroom'? He cleaned it!... More ››
 50 - Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army? To avoid the draft!... More ››
 51 - How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!... More ››
 52 - How did Gertie Gorilla make the 'Playboy' Calendar? She was 'Miss Ape-ril!'... More ››
 53 - What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes? A banana split!... More ››
 54 - Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings? The elevator men are on strike!... More ››
 55 - Which is the favourite Gorilla proverb? A fiend in need is a fiend indeed!... More ››
 56 - Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of recent years? Hairy Truman!... More ››
 57 - Q: Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree ? A: Because it was dead.... More ››
 58 - Do you know a favourite expression used by the Gorillas? Apesy daisy!... More ››
 59 - What's hairy and flies through the air? Jonathan Livingstone Gorilla!... More ››
 60 - Where did the Gorilla play baseball? In the bush leagues,of course!... More ››
 61 - How do you make a Gorilla stew? You keep it waiting for three hours!... More ››
 62 - What gives a gorilla good taste? Four years in an Ivy League school!... More ››
 63 - What's black, hairy, and writes under water? A ball-point gorilla!... More ››
 64 - What political party entices most Gorillas? The Treepublican Party!... More ››
 65 - Which two names figure prominently in every Ape's diet? Ben/Anna!... More ››
 66 - What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris? Ape Suzettes!... More ››
 67 - How do you make a Gorilla laugh? Tell it an elephant joke!... More ››
 68 - Why are Gorillas underpaid? They're willing to work peanuts!... More ››
 69 - Q: Why are gorillas so noisy? A: They were raised in a zoo!... More ››
 70 - What did the Gorilla call his first wife? His prime-mate!... More ››
 71 - Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up? Nutty Marietta!... More ››
 72 - Which song title makes an Ape heartsick? Gorilla My Dreams!... More ››
 73 - Why did the Gorilla fail English? He had little Ape-titude!... More ››
 74 - Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy? An ape-ricot sour!... More ››
 75 - What does a Gorilla learn first in school? The Apey-cees!... More ››
 76 - What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla? Anything it wants!... More ››
 77 - Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush? The Naked Ape!... More ››
 78 - What is the Ape monster's name? Godzilla Gorilla!... More ››
 79 - Do Apes kiss? Yes, but never on the first date!... More ››
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