1 - This man says to his friend," I stopped
driving 10 years ago. Now my wife drives and I just sit... More ››
2 - Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill
A: It changes their blood type.... More ››
3 - What is the difference between men and
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.... More ››
4 - Men are
like high heels.
to walk on once you get the hang of it.... More ››
5 - When do men insist that women are
When a woman doesn't agree with them.... More ››
6 - why don't men do laundry?
cause the washer
and dryer don't run on remote control!... More ››
7 - Q: What are the three types of men?
handsome, the caring, and the majority.... More ››
8 - One day in the Garden of
Eden, Eve calls out
to God, "Lord, I
have a problem!"
"What's the... More ››
9 - A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is
a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table... More ››
10 - There were 11 people
hanging on to a single
rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying... More ››
11 - One night a wife found her husband
over their baby's
crib. Silently she watched him.... More ››
12 - Brian was dating
Lorraine and they were very
close. While they were dating he met another
woma... More ››
13 - A husband was trying to prove to his wife
women talk more than men.
He showed her a stu... More ››
14 - Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture
of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator t... More ››
15 - What a woman says: "This place is a mess C'mon,
you and I need to clean up.
Your stuff is ly... More ››
16 - The difference
between men and women
is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman... More ››
17 - Two
confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their
from politics to cooking. "I g... More ››
18 - Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
God says: "So you would love her."... More ››
19 - One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his
chair drinking beer and watching his wife... More ››
20 - A man parked his car at the supermarket and was
past an empty cart when he heard a woman... More ››
21 - A neighbor of
mine was bit by a stray rabid
dog. I went to see how he was and found him
writin... More ››
22 - Men are like fine wine. They all
like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them... More ››
23 - Which of the following lines will do a better job
of frightening a man
1) Get away or... More ››
24 - Why is a
Laundromat a really bad place to pick
up a woman?
- Because a woman who can't affor... More ››
25 - Q. Where is the best place in a book
find a man who is handsome,
a good lover and a s... More ››
26 - Q: Men will brag that
there are women waiting
by the phone at this very moment for their call.... More ››
27 - Women dream of world peace, a safe environment,
and eliminating hunger.
What do men dream of?... More ››
28 - Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that
caring, and good-looking?
A.... More ››
29 - Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed
gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You... More ››
30 - Q. How
are men like television
A. You can't believe a word either one of them says... More ››
31 - How are men like carpet
If you lay
them properly the first time around, you can walk all... More ››
32 - Q: What's the best
way to kill a man?
Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then... More ››
33 - There are a lot of words you
can use to
describe men: strong, caring, loving.
They'd be wrong,... More ››
34 - Give a man a fish and he will
eat for a
Teach him how to fish and he will sit
in a boat a... More ››
35 - How many men does it take to make
Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho an... More ››
36 - If a man says something in the middle
forest, and there is no women
around to hear him, is... More ››
37 - What's the difference between a new husband and a
After a year, the dog is still exci... More ››
38 - Q: How do you keep your
husband from reading
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruc... More ››
39 - What does it mean to come home to a man who'll
give you some love and tenderness?
You're in the... More ››
40 - Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-th... More ››
41 - Anytime you see a young man open a car door for
his girlfriend, either the car is new or the gir... More ››
42 - How is being at a singles bar
going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don... More ››
43 - Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a
A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of t... More ››
44 - Question: If a man speaks in the
there is no woman around to hear him, is he still... More ››
45 - Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV
A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happ... More ››
46 - Q. Why is the book "Women Who
Love Too Much" a
disappointment for many
A. No phone num... More ››
47 - Men are like bike
handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look
si... More ››
48 - How many men
does it take to open a beer?
- None. It should be opened by the time she brings... More ››
49 - Q. What do you instantly know
A. His wife is good at picking out clot... More ››
50 - Q.
How do men exercise on the beach?
sucking in their stomachs every time they see a biki... More ››
51 - How many honest, intelligent, caring men
the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of th... More ››
52 - Q. How
does a man show he's planning for the
A. He buys two cases of beer instead of on... More ››
53 - Q. What's the best way to force a man
A. Put the remote control between his toes... More ››
54 - Q. How many men does it
take to wallpaper a
A. Three, if you slice them very thinly.... More ››
55 - How many men does it take to change a roll of
No one knows, it's never happened.... More ››
56 - Why did God create a man before
You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.... More ››
57 - Men are like vacuum
much fun, but at least you get to push them around.... More ››
58 - Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their
1. No mind
2. No business.... More ››
59 - Why don't women
work as long and as hard as
men in the office?
They do it right first time.... More ››
60 - Men are like animals:
potentially violent, but they make great pets.... More ››
61 - Q. What do most men
consider a gourmet
A. Any place without a drive-up window.... More ››
62 - How are men like noodles?
They are always in
hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.... More ››
63 - Q. Why do men buy electric
So they can find their way back to the house.... More ››
64 - A
woman of 35 thinks of having children. What
does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.... More ››
65 - Q: Why is it dangerous to let your man's mind
A: It's too little to be out alone.... More ››
66 - Men are like old
of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.... More ››
67 - Men are like plungers.
They spend most of their
lives in a hardware store or the
bathroom... More ››
68 - Where do you have to go
to find a man who is
truly into commitment?
A mental hospital.... More ››
69 - Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot
of money, they don't generate much interest.... More ››
70 - Q. What should you give a man who has
A. A woman to show him how to work it.... More ››
71 - Why does a man only get half-hour
So his boss doesn't have to retrain him.... More ››
72 - Men are like
They make a lot
of noise, but it's hard to get them to work.... More ››
73 - Men are like
They're fun to
watch, but don't believe everything you hear.... More ››
74 - There are only two four letter words that are
offensive to men:
"don't" and "stop".... More ››
75 - Men are like
and they usually head right for your hips.... More ››
76 - Question: How many men does it take to mop the
Answer: None, it's a women's job.... More ››
77 - What do
you do if your bank account stops
Throw the guy out of the house.... More ››
78 - Men are like
always hot, and they're always in your hair.... More ››
79 - Q. What's a man's idea
of honestly in a
A. Telling you his real name.... More ››
80 - Q. What do you
call a woman who knows where
her husband is every night?
A. A widow.... More ››
81 - Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.... More ››
82 - What's a man idea of helping with the
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.... More ››
83 - How can you tell if a man is cheating on
He has a bath more than once a month.... More ››
84 - When a man steals your wife,
there is no
better revenge than to let him keep her.... More ››
85 - Q: What do you call a man who marries an old, ugly
A: Desperate!... More ››
86 - QUESTION: Why are lifesavers better than men?
ANSWER: They come in five flavors.... More ››
87 - Men are like remote controls.
Simple. Easy to
use. And usually lying around a TV.... More ››
88 - Men
are like road kill.
They usually just
lie around until they start to smell.... More ››
89 - Men are like mini skirts.
If you're not
careful, they'll creep up your legs.... More ››
90 - What does a man consider to be a seven course
A hot dog and a six pack.... More ››
91 - Men are like coffee.
The best ones are rich,
hot and can keep you up all night.... More ››
92 - Men are like horoscopes.
They always tell you
what to do and are usually wrong.... More ››
93 - Men are
They only show
up when there's food on the table.... More ››
94 - Men are like copiers.
You need them for
reproduction, but that's about it.... More ››
95 - Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving
her money, furs and diamonds.... More ››
96 - Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight
A. A power failure.... More ››
97 - What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's
Exchange him.... More ››
98 - Men are like department
clothes should always be half off.... More ››
99 - Men are like
They usually run
at the first sign of emotion.... More ››
100 - Why are men like blenders?
You need one,
but you're not quite sure why.... More ››
101 - Men are like coolers.
Load them with beer and
you can take them anywhere.... More ››
102 - Men are
like plastic wrap.
And very easy to see through.... More ››
103 - Men are like pillows.
Eventually, even the best
ones get soft and lumpy.... More ››
104 - Q. Why do men like love at first site?
saves them a lot of time.... More ››
105 - What do you call a man who has lost 95%
A widower.... More ››
106 - How do you scare a man?
Sneak up behind
him and start throwing rice.... More ››
107 - Men are like shag
Soft, fuzzy and
extremely easy to walk on.... More ››
108 - Why do so few men end up in Heaven?
stop to ask directions.... More ››
109 - What do you call a man who opens the car door for
A chauffeur.... More ››
110 - What is the
thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.... More ››
111 - Men are
Hard to figure out
and never enough memory.... More ››
112 - Why don't men have mid-life crises?
stuck in adolescence.... More ››
113 - Where's the safest place to
hide money from a
Under the soap... More ››
114 - Men are like
Fun to look
at, but not very bright.... More ››
115 - Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease?
Because they're all pigs.... More ››
116 - Now do you save a man from drowning?
foot off his head.... More ››
117 - Why do men
Men always like
intellectual company... More ››
118 - Q: Why do men float better than
Because they are scum.... More ››
119 - What's the difference between a
E.T. phoned home.... More ››
120 - Why do little boys whine?
practicing to be men.... More ››
121 - Men are like government bonds.
They take so
long to mature.... More ››
122 - What did God say after she made Eve?
makes perfect."... More ››
123 - Why did God create men
first? Because we learn
from mistakes.... More ››
124 - How do you confuse a man?
You don't - they're
born that way.... More ››
125 - Men don't
get lost; they discover alternative
destinations.... More ››
126 - What do you do if your boyfriend walks
Close the door.... More ››
127 - Q. What do you call a
Trustworthy.... More ››
128 - Q. How can you tell if a man
Who cares?... More ››
129 - Q. Why do men like smart women?
attract.... More ››
130 - Why do men act like idiots?
Who says they're
acting?... More ››
131 - How do you lose fourteen stone of fat?
him.... More ››
132 - Why are men like paper cups?
disposable... More ››