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money JOKES (random)

Martin ended a letter to his dad with this question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dollar bill?' His Father wrote back, 'Of course it is.
Why do you ask?' Martin answered, 'Because it's been so long since I've seen one!'

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 1 - A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided... More ››
 2 - Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and... More ››
 3 - A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to Chin... More ››
 4 - A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old ch... More ››
 5 - A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida o... More ››
 6 - Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna t... More ››
 7 - A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and to... More ››
 8 - Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. "I'm not payi... More ››
 9 - Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. 'I've lost five cents,' sobbed... More ››
 10 - An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dol... More ››
 11 - Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some... More ››
 12 - At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred... More ››
 13 - A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother... More ››
 14 - After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've fina... More ››
 15 - One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees. 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'I'm... More ››
 16 - Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy so... More ››
 17 - A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. "Ohhh, it's my girlfriend."... More ››
 18 - Martin ended a letter to his dad with this question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dolla... More ››
 19 - A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it w... More ››
 20 - Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - bu... More ››
 21 - Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery? He's... More ››
 22 - If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another qu... More ››
 23 - Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because s... More ››
 24 - Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why... More ››
 25 - If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off firs... More ››
 26 - If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?... More ››
 27 - William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: Th... More ››
 28 - Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8,' his friend replied. That'... More ››
 29 - I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd... More ››
 30 - Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a whole (hole),... More ››
 31 - Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harr... More ››
 32 - Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It sm... More ››
 33 - Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be som... More ››
 34 - Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer. Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything... More ››
 35 - 'I can't find my dollar bill,' Jane sobbed. 'Don't worry,' her Counselor said. 'A dollar doesn't... More ››
 36 - 'Five dollars for one question!' said the girl to the fortune-teller. 'That's very expensive,isn'... More ››
 37 - Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat ? To see if there was any more money in... More ››
 38 - If you found a five dollar bill in every pocket of your coat, what would you have ? Someone els... More ››
 39 - Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you ? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch m... More ››
 40 - Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them? I did! Well, here's the elastic... More ››
 41 - Which is better, an old ten dollar bill or a new one? An old ten dollar bill is better than a new... More ››
 42 - My sister fell in love at second sight. When she first met him she didn't know how rich he was... More ››
 43 - Why did the man throw away all the new pennies he had? Because they were a nuisance (new cents)... More ››
 44 - How do thunderstorms invest their money? -In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets... More ››
 45 - Why isn't a dime worth as much today as it used to be? Because the dimes (times) have changed.... More ››
 46 - How can you be sure you have counterfeit money? If it's a three-dollar bill, you can be sure.... More ››
 47 - What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it? Money's tight these days!... More ››
 48 - If you want to get rich, why should you keep your mouth shut? Because silence is golden.... More ››
 49 - How did the man feel when he got a big bill from the electric company? He was shocked.... More ››
 50 - Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting? Because he gave out bad scents (cents).... More ››
 51 - Why is a cat like a penny? Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.... More ››
 52 - What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.... More ››
 53 - Farmer: What would you do if a bull charged you? Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.... More ››
 54 - What dog has money? A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).... More ››
 55 - Q:Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')... More ››
 56 - What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader? They gave him his money back.... More ››
 57 - Why did your sister feed money to her cow ? Because she wanted to get rich milk.... More ››
 58 - What happened when the cat swallowed a coin? There was money in the kitty.... More ››
 59 - Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ? Because the poor didn't have any !... More ››
 60 - Why did the hippie put his money in the refrigerator? He liked cold cash.... More ››
 61 - Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency? A: Question marks.... More ››
 62 - The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.... More ››
 63 - How did rich people get their money? They were calm and collected.... More ››
 64 - If you take half from a half dollar, what do you have? A dollar.... More ››
 65 - When does a female deer need money? When she doesn't have a buck.... More ››
 66 - What is the quickest way to double your money ? Fold it in half !... More ››
 67 - Why are diapers like $10 bills? Because you have to change them.... More ››
 68 - Who makes a million dollars a day? Someone who works in a mint.... More ››
 69 - What did the man do when he got a big gas bill? He exploded.... More ››
 70 - What lands as often on its tail as it does its head? A penny.... More ››
 71 - How can a can you double your money? By folding it in half.... More ››
 72 - What kind of money do monsters use? Weirdo (weird dough).... More ››
 73 - Why do wallets make so much noise? Because money talks.... More ››
 74 - How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror.... More ››
 75 - How can you get rich by eating? Eat fortune cookies.... More ››
 76 - Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.... More ››
 77 - Why is the moon like a dollar? It has four quarters.... More ››
 78 - How can you make money fast? Glue it to the floor.... More ››
 79 - Where can you always find money? In the dictionary.... More ››
 80 - Where do trees keep their money? In branch banks.... More ››
 81 - Where do bees keep their money? In a honey box.... More ››
 82 - Where do Eskimos keep their money? In snowbanks.... More ››
 83 - Where do hogs keep their money? In piggy banks.... More ››
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