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PHONE JOKES!

phone JOKES (random)

A man and a couple of his friends had just finished a round of golf at the country club and they were changing their shoes when a cell phone on the bench rang.
The man picked it up and answered it.
"Hi honey," said the woman on the other end.
"Hi honey," replied the man.
"I was just calling to tell you about this fur coat I found today.
It's beautiful fox fur and I just love the way it looks on me.
It's on sale too, a real bargain.
It's down to $2000 from $4000.
Can I get it?" The man thought about it for a sec and said, "You're sure it's a good deal?" "Oh yes," replied the woman.
"Okay then, I guess you can get it," replied the man.
The woman continued,"Oh, and you know how we've been thinking about getting rid of the Lexus and getting a new Jaguar?
Well, I went to the dealership today and the guy gave me a real deal.
He said he'd lower the price from $50,000 to $35,000 just for me.
Can I get it?" The man thought a little harder and said,"If you're sure it's a good deal, then yes, go ahead and get the Jaguar." The woman continued again.
"Oh, one last thing, honey.
Remember that house we saw last month that we really liked, but decided we'd wait and think about?
Well, it's on the market again, so I checked the price.
It's down to $450,000 and I checked with the bank and we have enough in the checking account so that I can just write a check.
Should I get it?" The man got a frown on his face and said,"See if you can get them down to $420,000.
If they'll go down to that, go ahead and get it." The woman was extremely excited.
"Okay honey, thank you so much!
I'll see you when I get home!
Bye!" "Bye," said the man.
He hung up the phone and looked at the other men in the locker room and said, "Does anyone know whose phone this is?"

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY phone JOKES:

 1 - Party Host: Hello? Phone Caller: I'm trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Coul... More ››
 2 - What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player? A wide receiver.... More ››
 3 - Why is an engaged girl like a telephone? Because they both have rings.... More ››
 4 - How does a skeleton call her friends? On a telebone.... More ››
 5 - A man and a couple of his friends had just finished a round of golf at the country club and th... More ››
 6 - After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that p... More ››
 7 - After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that p... More ››
 8 - Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling... More ››
 9 - A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient. "Do you ever hear voices without being... More ››
 10 - At three o'clock one morning a veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of... More ››
 11 - Harry was madly in love with Betty, but couldn't pluck up enough courage to pop the question fac... More ››
 12 - The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you're wanted on the phone,... More ››
 13 - The phone in Rigby's Georgia farmhouse rang one evening. When he answered, the operator said, "T... More ››
 14 - Kelso met Hensley on the street. "Hey!" said Kelso, "how come I never hear from you? Why don't y... More ››
 15 - Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry, this isn't th... More ››
 16 - Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long dista... More ››
 17 - Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up, I can't understand you. You should re... More ››
 18 - Who was that on the phone, Fred? Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long dist... More ››
 19 - Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my boyfriend's line has been busy for an hour? Operato... More ››
 20 - Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an ope... More ››
 21 - Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a telephone. Doctor: Why's that? I keep getting calls in t... More ››
 22 - How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone? You get a tizzy sig... More ››
 23 - Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone cut off? Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize!... More ››
 24 - How can you tell if someone who's just had a perm is on the phone? You get a frizzy signal!... More ››
 25 - How that we are engaged I hope you'll give me a ring. Of course. What's your phone number ?... More ››
 26 - Mother: Why was the phone busy all night? Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.... More ››
 27 - What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another ? A parson to parson call !... More ››
 28 - Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!... More ››
 29 - What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone? He grew up to be a bellhop!... More ››
 30 - What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone ? A lot of crackling on the line !... More ››
 31 - If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors, what do you get? Snippy answers.... More ››
 32 - What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ? A wedding ring !... More ››
 33 - Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire? She wanted to lay it on the line!... More ››
 34 - What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants? Bell-bottoms!... More ››
 35 - What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!... More ››
 36 - How do Iranians speak on the telephone? Persian-to-Persian (person-to-person).... More ››
 37 - What asks no question but demands an answer? A doorbell or a ringing telephone.... More ››
 38 - What did the man say when he got a big phone bill? "Who said talk is cheap?"... More ››
 39 - What did the answering machine say to the telephone? Take my word for it.... More ››
 40 - What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you? A phone moan.... More ››
 41 - What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron? A smooth operator!... More ››
 42 - What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler? Ringworm!... More ››
 43 - If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get? Snappy talk.... More ››
 44 - How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!... More ››
 45 - Why are there so many Johnson in he phone book? They all have phones.... More ››
 46 - What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster? A wake-up call!... More ››
 47 - When doesn't a telephone work underwater? When it's wringing wet!... More ››
 48 - How does a football player make phone calls? On a touch-down phone.... More ››
 49 - Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET !... More ››
 50 - How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.... More ››
 51 - What do you get if you cross a phone with a mouthwash? Tele-Scope.... More ››
 52 - How did the telephones get married ? In a double ring ceremony !... More ››
 53 - How do, like, really laid-back types answer the phone? Mellow.... More ››
 54 - How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub? They both have rings!... More ››
 55 - What animals talk on the telephone the most? The yakety-yaks!... More ››
 56 - Who invented the telephone? The Phoenicians (phone-itions).... More ››
 57 - What do you call an elephant in a phone box? Stuck.... More ››
 58 - When does a horse talk on the phone? Whinny wants to!... More ››
 59 - What kind of music do phones love to hear? A symphony... More ››
 60 - How does a baritone make phone calls? Song distance!... More ››
 61 - How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls? Collect!... More ››
 62 - How does a cheerleader answer the phone? H-E-L-L-O!... More ››
 63 - What do ghosts use to phone home? A terror-phone.... More ››
 64 - How does a door chime answer the phone? Bella?... More ››
 65 - How do scaredy-cats answer the phone? Yellow?... More ››
 66 - How does a lobster answer the phone? Shello?... More ››
 67 - What kind of phone makes music? A saxophone.... More ››
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