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political JOKES (random)

Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing street interviews about the upcoming presidential primary election.
"I'm not voting for any of the candidates," the first man said.
"I don't know any of them." "I feel the same way," the second man said.
"Only I know them all."

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 2 - The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away p... More ››
 3 - Q: How can you tell if it was a shared computer used by many staffers? A: There is writing on t... More ››
 4 - Republicans say "Merry Christmas!" Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"... More ››
 5 - A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door bursts open to re... More ››
 6 - A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her studen... More ››
 7 - George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Lade... More ››
 8 - A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He sai... More ››
 9 - Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of pater... More ››
 10 - When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed experiment headed for the ash hea... More ››
 11 - A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. Th... More ››
 12 - A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife... More ››
 13 - A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink tha... More ››
 14 - A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?... More ››
 15 - A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, DC. He saw a man standing near the... More ››
 16 - Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman said,... More ››
 17 - A small boy was asked by his teacher, "What is the size of the Democratic Party?" "About 5 fee... More ››
 18 - The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened inten... More ››
 19 - Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, the constitution say... More ››
 20 - At an outdoor press conference, Al Gore was addressing harsh criticism of being "lifeless as a... More ››
 21 - Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One liberal and twenty eight de... More ››
 22 - A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: "Many say the only reason why you... More ››
 23 - Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuc... More ››
 24 - One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies... More ››
 25 - Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing street interviews about the upcoming presidential... More ››
 26 - Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Deck the Halls." Young Democrat's favorite Christmas car... More ››
 27 - Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree. Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree,... More ››
 28 - A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do... More ››
 29 - Two political candidates were having a hot debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at... More ››
 30 - A political man to a woman, "You look beautiful today!!!!" The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfo... More ››
 31 - Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights... More ››
 32 - Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. "Well it's not rea... More ››
 33 - Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about... More ››
 34 - Q: How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two - one to screw it in, and... More ››
 35 - A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next Pr... More ››
 36 - Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street." Republicans' favorite Christm... More ››
 37 - A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?" And h... More ››
 38 - Q: How many republicans does it take to disarm the law abiding public so that the government can... More ››
 39 - I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son D... More ››
 40 - Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping. Democrats also remo... More ››
 41 - Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus.... More ››
 42 - Q: How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it ta... More ››
 43 - Q: How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twen... More ››
 44 - Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids. Democrats refuse to do so.... More ››
 45 - Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two-one to do it and one to st... More ››
 46 - Once a madman said, "Do you know there is a war going on between India and Bharat? Another m... More ››
 47 - Three Republicans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve Republicans here." The Re... More ››
 48 - Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; after reflecting in the... More ››
 49 - Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Repub... More ››
 50 - Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians." Democrat... More ››
 51 - I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire, but... More ››
 52 - Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thi... More ››
 53 - Q: How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf? A: Depen... More ››
 54 - Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it, and anot... More ››
 55 - Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None: The light bulb contains t... More ››
 56 - When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog. Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers... More ››
 57 - If the State of the Union is really "the best it's ever been" Why do we "need" dozens of new g... More ››
 58 - Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an... More ››
 59 - Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve. Republicans make their kids wait... More ››
 60 - Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four, one to change it and the... More ››
 61 - Democrats wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season. Republicans d... More ››
 62 - Q: What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common? A: They were both cooked b... More ››
 63 - Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals. On this, Republicans ar... More ››
 64 - Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. They haven't go... More ››
 65 - Q: How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb? A: None. They only know how to dest... More ››
 66 - Q: What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver? A: The bus driver stops to... More ››
 67 - Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending 50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers... More ››
 68 - Q: If Rodham gets health care, Bentsen gets treasury, and Aspin gets defense, what does Gore get... More ››
 69 - Q: What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President? A: A competent liberal P... More ››
 70 - Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans, but they don't ad... More ››
 71 - Q: Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown? A: The punch lines were too long in Jone... More ››
 72 - Why is Congress like a cold? Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (... More ››
 73 - Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy? A: A puppy stops whining after it grow... More ››
 74 - Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours? A: Put Janet Reno in ch... More ››
 75 - The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress can't make death any worse than it... More ››
 76 - When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a "Bu... More ››
 77 - Q: What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee--If No Recover... More ››
 78 - Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war... I'll hide from you too!... More ››
 79 - Q: Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1? A: For spare parts.... More ››
 80 - Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents? A: He's the stiff one.... More ››
 81 - Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes? A: None. The democrats do that.... More ››
 82 - Q: Why did the Davidians commit suicide? A: They were trying to keep up with the Joneses.... More ››
 83 - Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? A: A mandate to govern.... More ››
 84 - QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Until he gets caught.... More ››
 85 - Q: You know what the problem with political jokes is, don't you? A: They get elected.... More ››
 86 - What is the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized.... More ››
 87 - QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people.... More ››
 88 - Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called? A: The whine cellar.... More ››
 89 - It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy.... More ››
 90 - "Are you a member of any organized political party?" "No. I'm a Republican."... More ››
 91 - Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead? A: His heart stops bleeding.... More ››
 92 - Definition: Politics Poli (Poly): Many.... Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures... More ››
 93 - Q: What's a conservative? A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.... More ››
 94 - Q: What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life? A: Grade six.... More ››
 95 - Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room? A: The White House.... More ››
 96 - Q: What is a conservative? A: A liberal who's been mugged.... More ››
 97 - Why are Vampires Democrats? They want Gore in 2000.... More ››
 98 - How does Al Gore spell potato? T-A-T-E-R.... More ››
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