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political JOKES (random)

Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.
A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.
A: None: They can't remove the old ones since they are already part of the environment.

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 1 - An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board, but unfortunately only 4 para... More ››
 2 - The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away p... More ››
 3 - When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog. Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers... More ››
 4 - Q: How can you tell if it was a shared computer used by many staffers? A: There is writing on t... More ››
 5 - Republicans say "Merry Christmas!" Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"... More ››
 6 - A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door bursts open to re... More ››
 7 - A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her studen... More ››
 8 - George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Lade... More ››
 9 - A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He sai... More ››
 10 - Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of pater... More ››
 11 - When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed experiment headed for the ash hea... More ››
 12 - A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. Th... More ››
 13 - A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife... More ››
 14 - A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink tha... More ››
 15 - A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?... More ››
 16 - A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, DC. He saw a man standing near the... More ››
 17 - Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman said,... More ››
 18 - A small boy was asked by his teacher, "What is the size of the Democratic Party?" "About 5 fee... More ››
 19 - The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened inten... More ››
 20 - Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, the constitution say... More ››
 21 - At an outdoor press conference, Al Gore was addressing harsh criticism of being "lifeless as a... More ››
 22 - Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One liberal and twenty eight de... More ››
 23 - A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: "Many say the only reason why you... More ››
 24 - Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuc... More ››
 25 - One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies... More ››
 26 - Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing street interviews about the upcoming presidential... More ››
 27 - Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Deck the Halls." Young Democrat's favorite Christmas car... More ››
 28 - Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree. Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree,... More ››
 29 - A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do... More ››
 30 - Two political candidates were having a hot debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at... More ››
 31 - A political man to a woman, "You look beautiful today!!!!" The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfo... More ››
 32 - Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights... More ››
 33 - Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. "Well it's not rea... More ››
 34 - Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about... More ››
 35 - Q: How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two - one to screw it in, and... More ››
 36 - A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next Pr... More ››
 37 - Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street." Republicans' favorite Christm... More ››
 38 - A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?" And h... More ››
 39 - Q: How many republicans does it take to disarm the law abiding public so that the government can... More ››
 40 - I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son D... More ››
 41 - Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping. Democrats also remo... More ››
 42 - Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus.... More ››
 43 - Q: How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it ta... More ››
 44 - Q: How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twen... More ››
 45 - Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids. Democrats refuse to do so.... More ››
 46 - Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two-one to do it and one to st... More ››
 47 - Once a madman said, "Do you know there is a war going on between India and Bharat? Another m... More ››
 48 - Three Republicans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve Republicans here." The Re... More ››
 49 - Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; after reflecting in the... More ››
 50 - Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Repub... More ››
 51 - Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians." Democrat... More ››
 52 - I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire, but... More ››
 53 - Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thi... More ››
 54 - Q: How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf? A: Depen... More ››
 55 - Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it, and anot... More ››
 56 - Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None: The light bulb contains t... More ››
 57 - If the State of the Union is really "the best it's ever been" Why do we "need" dozens of new g... More ››
 58 - Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an... More ››
 59 - Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve. Republicans make their kids wait... More ››
 60 - Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four, one to change it and the... More ››
 61 - Democrats wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season. Republicans d... More ››
 62 - Q: What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common? A: They were both cooked b... More ››
 63 - Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals. On this, Republicans ar... More ››
 64 - Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. They haven't go... More ››
 65 - Q: How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb? A: None. They only know how to dest... More ››
 66 - Q: What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver? A: The bus driver stops to... More ››
 67 - Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending 50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers... More ››
 68 - Q: If Rodham gets health care, Bentsen gets treasury, and Aspin gets defense, what does Gore get... More ››
 69 - Q: What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President? A: A competent liberal P... More ››
 70 - Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans, but they don't ad... More ››
 71 - Q: Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown? A: The punch lines were too long in Jone... More ››
 72 - Why is Congress like a cold? Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (... More ››
 73 - Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy? A: A puppy stops whining after it grow... More ››
 74 - Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours? A: Put Janet Reno in ch... More ››
 75 - The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress can't make death any worse than it... More ››
 76 - When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a "Bu... More ››
 77 - Q: What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee--If No Recover... More ››
 78 - Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war... I'll hide from you too!... More ››
 79 - Q: Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1? A: For spare parts.... More ››
 80 - Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents? A: He's the stiff one.... More ››
 81 - Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes? A: None. The democrats do that.... More ››
 82 - Q: Why did the Davidians commit suicide? A: They were trying to keep up with the Joneses.... More ››
 83 - Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? A: A mandate to govern.... More ››
 84 - QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Until he gets caught.... More ››
 85 - Q: You know what the problem with political jokes is, don't you? A: They get elected.... More ››
 86 - What is the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized.... More ››
 87 - QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people.... More ››
 88 - Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called? A: The whine cellar.... More ››
 89 - It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy.... More ››
 90 - "Are you a member of any organized political party?" "No. I'm a Republican."... More ››
 91 - Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead? A: His heart stops bleeding.... More ››
 92 - Definition: Politics Poli (Poly): Many.... Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures... More ››
 93 - Q: What's a conservative? A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.... More ››
 94 - Q: What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life? A: Grade six.... More ››
 95 - Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room? A: The White House.... More ››
 96 - Q: What is a conservative? A: A liberal who's been mugged.... More ››
 97 - Why are Vampires Democrats? They want Gore in 2000.... More ››
 98 - How does Al Gore spell potato? T-A-T-E-R.... More ››
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