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SNAKE JOKES!

snake JOKES (random)

What did the snake say when another asked him the time ?
Don't asp me !

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY snake JOKES:

 1 - What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ? You can make a pet out of a... More ››
 2 - What do most people do when they see a python ? They re-coil !... More ››
 3 - A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well thes... More ››
 4 - There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap o... More ››
 5 - What do you get if you cross a glow-worm with a python? A twenty-foot-long strip-light that ca... More ››
 6 - Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said "Go forth and multiply" ? They couldn't, they we... More ››
 7 - What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ? Snakes and Larders !sna... More ››
 8 - Have you heard about the slippery eel ? Didn't think so, you wouldn't be able to grasp it !sna... More ››
 9 - What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell ? Addercadabra and abradacobra !... More ››
 10 - Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a python. Oh you can't get round me like that, you know.... More ››
 11 - What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks, I'll just have a sliver !... More ››
 12 - What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell? Addercadabra and abradacobra.... More ››
 13 - Why did the two boa constrictors get married ? Because they had a crush on each other !sna... More ››
 14 - "So glad to meet you" said the Hindu politely ? "Charmed I'm sure ", replied the snake !... More ››
 15 - What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ? Chimney Cricket !... More ››
 16 - What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed ? Sleep in the wardrobe !... More ››
 17 - What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ? A bouncing baby boa !... More ››
 18 - What did the mother snake say to her crying baby ? Stop crying and viper your nose !... More ››
 19 - Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ? Because he had his own scales !... More ››
 20 - What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until he's finished.... More ››
 21 - What did the snake say to the cornered rat ? Hiss is the end of the line for you !... More ››
 22 - What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent ? A snake in the brass !... More ››
 23 - What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird ? A feather boa !sna... More ››
 24 - Q:What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A:('A jump rope')"... More ››
 25 - What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ? A boa constructor !... More ››
 26 - What do you call a python with a great bedside manner ? A snake charmer !... More ››
 27 - What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers ? Fang letters !... More ››
 28 - What do you call a snake who works for the governement ? A civil serpent !... More ››
 29 - What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ? He died in agony !... More ››
 30 - What did the snake say when another asked him the time ? Don't asp me !... More ››
 31 - Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ? Someone else's !... More ››
 32 - What do you get if you cross a snake and a hotdog ? A fangfurter !sna... More ››
 33 - Why did the viper, viper nose ? Because the adder, adder hankerchief !... More ››
 34 - What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ? A boar constrictor !... More ››
 35 - What's the best thing about deadly snakes ? They've got poisonality !... More ››
 36 - What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog? A fangfurther.... More ››
 37 - What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ? Poison by Christian Dior !... More ››
 38 - What do you call a snake that informs the police ? A grass snake !... More ››
 39 - Why did the viper want to become a python ? He got the coiling !... More ››
 40 - Why did the viper want to become a python? He got the coiling.... More ››
 41 - Why can't you trust snakes ? They speak with forked tongues !... More ››
 42 - What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen ? A viper !... More ››
 43 - What do snakes have on their bath towels ? Hiss and Hers !... More ››
 44 - Why did the python do national service ? He was coiled up !... More ››
 45 - Why are snakes hard to fool ? They have no legs to pull !... More ››
 46 - What's a snakes favourite dance ? Snake, rattle & roll !... More ››
 47 - What's long, green and goes hith ? A snake with a lisp !... More ››
 48 - Did you hear about the stupid snake? He lost his skin.... More ››
 49 - What's a snakes favourite TV program ? Monty Python!... More ››
 50 - What subject are snakes good at school ? Hiss-tory !... More ››
 51 - What is another word for a python ? A mega-bite !... More ››
 52 - Q: What kind of snake is good at math? A: An adder.... More ››
 53 - What's a snakes favourite flower ? Coily-flowers !... More ››
 54 - What's a python's favourite pop group ? Squeeze !... More ››
 55 - What song to snakes like to sing ? Viva Aspana !... More ››
 56 - What is a snakes favourite opera ? Wriggletto !... More ››
 57 - What's a snake's favourite food ? Hiss Cakes !... More ››
 58 - What did one snake say to another ? Hiss off !... More ››
 59 - What's a snakes favourite dance ? The mamba !... More ››
 60 - What do you give a sick snake ? Asp-rin !... More ››
 61 - What snakes are good at sums ? Adders !... More ››
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