1 - A man takes his hamster to the vet, and
after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it... More ››
2 - A lady was walking down the street to
work and she
saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet sto... More ››
3 - There once was a baby
a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For... More ››
4 - There's a guy who's hiking in the
woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
T... More ››
5 - A vampire bat came flapping in from a
night of foraging, covered in
fresh blood. He parked himse... More ››
6 - A lion was getting rather old and slow
and having difficulty
catching its prey. It decided it ne... More ››
7 - Two hikers are out hiking. All of a
sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but... More ››
8 - A man
moved to a mountain top to
get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day
he heard a knock... More ››
9 - A family of tortoises went into a cafe
for some ice
cream. They sat down and were about to start... More ››
10 - One day there was a tortoise walking on
the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeate... More ››
11 - Deep
within a forest a little
turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of
effort he reached t... More ››
12 - A skunk family had two little skunks
they called In
and Out. One day little In disappeared. Moth... More ››
13 - This little snail bought a little car
and took it to the body
shop to have it painted. The servi... More ››
14 - A hungry lion was
the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two m... More ››
15 - A snail starts a slow climb up the
trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't... More ››
16 - An old lady was considering buying a
coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?"... More ››
17 - There was once a puppy called
who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than s... More ››
18 - Look over there! Said the frightened
skunk to his pal.
"There's a human with a gun, and he's gett... More ››
19 - There are bats hanging of a branch
upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happen... More ››
20 - One day Mullah was beating his donkey
in a remote place. A man saw
him and asked: why are you be... More ››
21 - First Kangaroo: If you were
surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you ge... More ››
22 - What has antlers, pulls Father
Christmas' sleigh and is made
I don't know.
rein... More ››
23 - A boy at a cinema notices what looks
like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?"
"... More ››
24 - How would you get four reindeer
Two in the front and two in the back!
And how do you... More ››
25 - Two skunks were being chased by a
bear. As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever... More ››
26 - First Kangaroo: What do you call it
giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes movi... More ››
27 - Why don't whales eat sushi very
Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty ch... More ››
28 - First Kangaroo: How do you tell the
difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Second Kan... More ››
29 - If they made a movie starring the Loch
Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what wo... More ››
30 - Did you hear about the
boy who was
told to do 100 lines?
He drew 100 cats on the paper.
He t... More ››
31 - Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side... More ››
32 - How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him w... More ››
33 - What did the lions say to his cubs when
he taught them to hunt ?
'Don't go over the road till... More ››
34 - Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce
Smokey the Bear?
A. Because every time she got hot, he'... More ››
35 - What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is
completely unknown ?
Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's... More ››
36 - A fish walks into a bar, the bartender
"What would you like?" the fish says holding his n... More ››
37 - If a four-legged animal is a quadruped
and a two-legged
animal is a biped, What's a tiger ?
A... More ››
38 - Did you hear about the new shark food
It costs an arm and a leg to eat... More ››
39 - What would you get if you crossed a
the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear... More ››
40 - Why do you never see zebras or
antelopes at Victoria
Because it's a 'mane-lion' stat... More ››
41 - What do headmasters and bullfrogs have
in common ?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mo... More ››
42 - Which ghost sailed the seven seas
looking for rubbish and blubber?
The ghost of BinBag the Wha... More ››
43 - What's the difference between a
and a snowball?
They're both brown, except the snowbal... More ››
44 - How does a leopard change its spots ?
When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another !... More ››
45 - What happened to the tiger who
a bath three times a day ?
After a week he was spotless !... More ››
46 - What happened to the skunk who failed
He stank to the bottom of the pool!... More ››
47 - What
happened to the man who tried
to cross a lioin with a goat ?
He had to get a new goat !... More ››
48 - What kind of noise annoys an oyster ?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster ! (Try saying that fast!)... More ››
49 - What do you get if you cross a bottle
with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really!... More ››
50 - First Caribou: Which bug does amazing
Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.... More ››
51 - Mama bear to Papa bear:
might call it hibernating -- I call it 'goofing
off'."... More ››
52 - Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!... More ››
53 - What do you get if you cross a skunk
and a balloon?
A creature that stinks to high heaven!... More ››
54 - What do you get if you cross a skunk
and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!... More ››
55 - What did one slug say to another who
had hit him and
I'll get you next slime!... More ››
56 - Exasperated dragon on the field of
"Mother said there would be knights like this."... More ››
57 - What's wet and wiggly and says how do
you do sixteen
Two octopuses shaking hands.... More ››
58 - What's the difference between a tiger
and a lion ?
A tiger has the mane part missing !... More ››
59 - What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of
raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.... More ››
60 - What do you call a lion wearing a
cravat and a flower
in its mane ?
A dandy lion !... More ››
61 - What do you get if you cross a skunk
and a boomerang?
A smell that keeps coming back!... More ››
62 - What do you get if you cross a hedgehog
with a giraffe ?
A long necked toothbrush !... More ››
63 - Why was the little bear so spoiled ?
Because its mother panda'd to its every whim !... More ››
64 - What flies around your light at night
and can bite off your head ?
A tiger moth !... More ››
65 - What was the name of the film about a
killer lion that swam underwater ?
'Claws.'... More ››
66 - What do you get if you cross a skunk
and a wasp?
Something that stinks and stings!... More ››
67 - Does a dolphin ever do something by
No, they do everything on porpoise!... More ››
68 - What did the slug say as he slipped
down the window very fast?
How slime flies!... More ››
69 - Did you hear about the whale who
couldn't keep a
He was a blubber mouth!... More ››
70 - Why do polo bears like bald men ?
Because they have a great, white, bear place !... More ››
71 - How are skunks able to avoid
By using their instinks and common scents!... More ››
72 - What happened to the lizard in the
wizard's garden pond?
He had him newt-ered.... More ››
73 - Q. What did the snail say when he
hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee!!!!!... More ››
74 - What powerful reptile is found in
the Sydney opera house ?
The Lizard of Oz !... More ››
75 - Did you hear about the skunk who
sat on a fan?
He got cut off without a scent!... More ››
76 - What's black and white and makes a lot
A zebra with a set of drums.... More ››
77 - What do you get if you cross a zebra
with an ape man?
Tarzan stripes forever.... More ››
78 - What's the definition of a nervous
A chameleon on a tartan rug !... More ››
79 - Which is the most dangerous animal in
Yak the Ripper... More ››
80 - What do you call a
big white bear
with a hole in his middle ?
A polo bear !... More ››
81 - Did you hear about the argumentative
He always liked to make a stink!... More ››
82 - What do you call someone who sticks his
right hand in
Lefty!... More ››
83 - What do you get if you cross a grizzly
bear and a harp ?
A bear faced lyre !... More ››
84 - What do reindeer say before telling you
This one will sleigh you !... More ››
85 - What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and
A hermit crab !... More ››
86 - What animal do you look like when you
into the bath ?
A little bear !... More ››
87 - What do you get if you cross a tiger
A stripey jumper !... More ››
88 - Why did the skunk buy four boxes of
Because he had a stinking cold!... More ››
89 - When should you feel sorry for a
When its spray pump is out of order!... More ››
90 - What is the feeling that you've
smelled a certain
Deja phew!... More ››
91 - Q:
What did the emu say to the
A: Mend her bones or walk the plank... More ››
92 - What do you call the
one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah!... More ››
93 - What do you get if you cross an eel
A slippery customer.... More ››
94 - What do you get if you cross a tiger
with a sheep ?
A stripey sweater !... More ››
95 - What's
black and white, stinks and
hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.... More ››
96 - One goldfish to his tankmate:
there's no God, who changes the water?"... More ››
97 - How many skunks do you need to make a
Just a phew!... More ››
98 - How can you tell a rabbit from a
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant!... More ››
99 - What do you get if you
skunk and a cartoon penguin?
Pingu-Pong!... More ››
100 - What do you do when two snails have a
Leave them to slug it out.... More ››
101 - What purrs along the road and leaves
A Moles Royce.... More ››
102 - Why was the young kangaroo thrown out
by his mother?
For smoking in bed.... More ››
103 - Why do bears
have fur coats ?
Because they'd look stupid in anoraks !... More ››
104 - What do you get if you cross
teddy bear with a pig ?
A teddy boar !... More ››
105 - First Caribou: What kind of math do
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.... More ››
106 - What do you get
if you cross a
skunk with a bear ?
Winnie the Pooh !... More ››
107 - How could the dolphin afford to buy a
He prawned everything !... More ››
108 - Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love
of rain on your roof?"... More ››
109 - What do you get if you cross a skunk
and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus!... More ››
110 - Why is a reindeer like a gossip
Because they are both tail bearers !... More ››
111 - What did the baby dolphin do when he
didn't get his
He whale-d... More ››
112 - How are tigers like sergeants in the
They both wear stripes !... More ››
113 - What did the judge say when
skunk was on trial?
Odour in court!... More ››
114 - What happens when sharks take their
clothes off ?
They go sharkers !... More ››
115 - If a hungry shark is after you, what
should you feed it?
Jawbreakers!... More ››
116 - Why did a gambler scare everyone out
He was a card shark!... More ››
117 - Why did the tadpole feel lonely ?
Because he was newt to the area !... More ››
118 - What did the baby skunk want to be when
he grew up?
A big stinker!... More ››
119 - What do you call a gigantic polar
Nothing, you just run away!... More ››
120 - Why did the gray whale go on a
Because he wasn't a Fin whale!... More ››
121 - Why did the jellyfish's wife leave
He stung her into action.... More ››
122 - How do snails get their shells all
They use snail polish.... More ››
123 - What is a chameleon's
A change is as good as a rest !... More ››
124 - Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many crabs!... More ››
125 - What happened when the lion ate the
He felt funny !... More ››
126 - Did you hear the
joke about the
Never mind, it stinks!... More ››
127 - How does a
group of dolphin's make
Flipper coin!... More ››
128 - What did Cinderella Dolphin where to
Glass flippers!... More ››
129 - What do you call a neurotic octopus?
A crazy, mixed-up squid.... More ››
130 - Why did the whale cross the road ?
To get to the other tide !... More ››
131 - Why is polar bear cheap to have as a
It lives on ice !... More ››
132 - Which big cat should you never play
cards with ?
A cheetah !... More ››
133 - What is the fiercest flower in the
The tiger lily !... More ››
134 - What's a skunk's philosophy of
Eat, stink and be merry!... More ››
135 - What do you give a deer with an upset
Elkaseltzer.... More ››
136 - Why was the lion-tamer fined ?
parked on a yellow lion !... More ››
137 - What's a skunk's favourite game
Show and smell!... More ››
138 - What is a
dolphin's favorite TV
Whale of fortune !... More ››
139 - Why did the whale like the
Because he had flippers!... More ››
140 - What do you call a show full
The mane event !... More ››
141 - What kind of tiles can't you stick on
Reptiles !... More ››
142 - What do you call rubber bumpers on
Shark absorbers!... More ››
143 - When is a lion not a lion ?
turns into his cage !... More ››
144 - How can you tell when a skunk is
It raises a stink!... More ››
145 - Where do you find a down-and-out
On squid row !... More ››
146 - What's an octopuses favourite latin
Squid pro quo!... More ››
147 - What does an octopus take on a camping
Tentacles!... More ››
148 - What are the most athletic
Track and field mice.... More ››
149 - What's a pet's favorite
...Saint Petrick's Day... More ››
150 - How do you start a teddy bear race ?
Ready, teddy, go !... More ››
151 - What does an octopus wear on a cold
A coat of arms!... More ››
152 - Who was the most famous pirate
Captain Squid!... More ››
153 - What kind of sharks make good
Hammerheads!... More ››
154 - What's a teddy bears favourite pasta ?
Tagliateddy !... More ››
155 - Who held the baby octopus to ransom ?
Squidnappers !... More ››
156 - What's the favourite flavour of
Shark-o-late!... More ››
157 - What is a whale's favorite TV
Flukes of Hazard!... More ››
158 - What kind of money do polar bears use ?
Ice lolly !... More ››
159 - What is the best advice to give a worm?
Sleep late.... More ››
160 - What did one skunk say to
And so do you!... More ››
161 - What is the most famous
William Sharkspeare!... More ››
162 - How do you hire a teddy bear?
him on stilts !... More ››
163 - What do polar bears have for lunch ?
Ice burger !... More ››
164 - What's at the end of Moby Dick?
whale of a time!... More ››
165 - How do you weigh a whale?
Weigh Scales.... More ››
166 - Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.... More ››
167 - What should you call a bald teddy ?
Fred bear !... More ››
168 - What is a bear's favourite drink ?
Koka-Koala !... More ››
169 - What do you call a flying skunk?
smellicopter!... More ››
170 - What happened to the cold jellyfish ?
It set !... More ››
171 - How does an octopus go to war ?
Well-armed !... More ››
172 - What does a squid sheriff form?
octoposse!... More ››
173 - How should you treat a baby
Like a kid.... More ››
174 - Why don't lobsters share?
shellfish.... More ››
175 - Why was the skunk angry?
incensed!... More ››
176 - Are shellfish warm?
clammy!... More ››
177 - What kind of whale flies?
whales!... More ››
178 - Where do sharks come
Sharkago!... More ››
179 - What is a buttress?
goat.... More ››
180 - What gas do snails prefer?
Shell.... More ››