1 - A waiter brings the
customer the steak he
ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?... More ››
2 - Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and... More ››
3 - "Waiter!" shouted the furious diner, "How dare
you serve me this!
There's a damn TWIG in my soup... More ››
4 - Patron: Didn't you tell me the chef here
cooked for the late heads of Europe?
Waiter: Yes, and... More ››
5 - Diner:
Waitress, the portions are getting
Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's... More ››
6 - Diner: Waiter, please
Waiter: Why, is there a draft?
Diner: Yes, it's blown... More ››
7 - Waiter, I can't eat this
crawling with maggots !
Quick, run to the other end of the... More ››
8 - Waiter, Waiter there's a fly in
Gee I did not know that they had started winter... More ››
9 - Customer: I thought the
meals here were
supposed to be like mother used to make.
Waiter: They a... More ››
10 - Waiter: If you know the
food here is so
lousy, why do you keep coming back?
Customer: It remind... More ››
11 - Customer: Waiter, I found a hair in
Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the... More ››
12 - Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee,
with no cream.
I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream... More ››
13 - Waiter, there is a bee in my
Yes sir, and I'm sure there is an A, C and all the... More ››
14 - Waiter, waiter!
There's a spider in my
soup. Send for the manager! It's no good, sir,
he's fri... More ››
15 - Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for
Diner: Well, bring me some you haven't had a... More ››
16 - Customer: This fish
isn't as good as what
I ordered here last month.
Waiter: That's funny. It's... More ››
17 - Customer: Waiter, I
can't eat this
Waiter: Why not? It looks all right to me.
Customer:... More ››
18 - Q: How many Waiters does it
take to change
a light bulb?
A: None, even a burned out bulb can't... More ››
19 - Why do waiters prefer
elephants to flies?
Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant... More ››
20 - Customer: Waiter, look at this chicken! It's
nothing but skin and
Waiter: Would you like... More ››
21 - Diner: May I please have a glass of
Waiter: Why, are you thirsty?
Diner: No, I want to se... More ››
22 - Waiter,
waiter, this lobster's only got
It must have been in a fight, sir.
Then br... More ››
23 - Customer: Why don't you eat here,
Waiter: Serving it is bad enough, I don't want to compo... More ››
24 - Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
not, sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear... More ››
25 - Waiter, waiter! What's this creepy crawly
thing doing in my dinner?
Oh, that one ? he comes her... More ››
26 - Waiter, I can't seem to
find any oysters
in this oyster soup.
Would you expect to find angels i... More ››
27 - Customer: How come the Board of Health hasn't
come in and closed you up?
Waiter: They're afraid... More ››
28 - Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my
I can't do that sir, he's not had his main... More ››
29 - Customer: Why doesn't this
Waiter: Because nothing about this foo... More ››
30 - Customer: How long must I wait
turtle soup I ordered?
Waiter: Well, you know how slow... More ››
31 - Customer: That crust on
the apple pie was
Waiter: That wasn't the crust, that was th... More ››
32 - Customer: Waiter, there's a button in my
Waiter: It must have come off while the salad w... More ››
33 - Customer: Why doesn't your menu list
Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the f... More ››
34 - Waiter: I'm sorry
I spilled a glass of
water on you.
Diner: That's all right. My suit is too la... More ››
35 - And how did you find your steak sir?
quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and ther... More ››
36 - How
many waiters does it take to change a
None, a burned out bulb can't catch a wai... More ››
37 - Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my
Then we've served you too much soup, the fly should be... More ››
38 - Waiter,
there is a fly in my soup !
sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch d... More ››
39 - Waiter, what's this bug
around my table !
It's the band, sir, they are playing h... More ››
40 - Waiter, waiter! There's a mosquito in my
Don't worry sir, mosquitoes have very small app... More ››
41 - Waiter: I'm
sorry to keep you waiting.
Your soup will be ready soon.
Customer: What bait are yo... More ››
42 - Waiter, there is a fly in my bean soup
Don't worry sir I'll fish him out and exchange it for a... More ››
43 - Sir you
haven't touched your
I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampo... More ››
44 - Waiter: Why are you taking so long
Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or... More ››
45 - Waiter, there is a
fly in my soup!
sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other... More ››
46 - Diner: Could I have a glass
Waiter: To drink?
Diner: No, I want to rinse out a few t... More ››
47 - Customer: There's something wrong with my hot
Waiter: Sorry, I'm a waiter, not a veterina... More ››
48 - Waiter,
waiter, do you have frog's
Well hop over here and get me a sandw... More ››
49 - Patron: How come
this fly is swimming in my
Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wad... More ››
50 - Waiter, waiter!
There's a dead spider in
Yes, ma'am, they can't stand the boiling wat... More ››
51 - I say waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Well throw him a doughnut - they make fantastic life bel... More ››
52 - "Waiter, waiter,there's a hand in my
"That's not your soup, sir, that's your finger bow... More ››
53 - Waiter: Why didn't you make all the food on
that long order?
Cook: Because I'm a short order co... More ››
54 - Waiter, there's a
fly in my
Couldn't be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin
brea... More ››
55 - Waiter, there is a
dead fly in my soup
No its not, it's a piece of dirt that looks like one !... More ››
56 - Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain
Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.... More ››
57 - Waiter, there is a cockroach on my
They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !... More ››
58 - Waiter, there is a
spider drowning in my
It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !... More ››
59 - Waiter, what is this creepy-crawly doing in my
Not him again, he's in here every night !... More ››
60 - Waiter, this coffee
Yes sir, thats because it was only ground this morning.... More ››
61 - Waiter, there's a fly in my
Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.... More ››
62 - Waiter, what is this stuff?
I know what it's been, but what is it now?... More ››
63 - Waiter, there
is a frog in my soup
Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !... More ››
64 - Waiter! Waiter! This salad is
Yes, sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it.... More ››
65 - Customer: Do you have
bacon and eggs on the
Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.... More ››
66 - Waiter, there is a fly in my wine !
did ask for something with a little body in it!... More ››
67 - Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I
Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.... More ››
68 - Waiter, are there
snails on the menu
Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !... More ››
69 - Waiter,
waiter! There's a wasp in my
So that's where they go to in the winter.... More ››
70 - Customer: What is this fly
doing in my
Waiter: Probably learning to read.... More ››
71 - Waiter,
there's a fly in my soup!
sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.... More ››
72 - Customer:
Waiter, this food is repeating on
Waiter: Good, we love repeat business.... More ››
73 - Patron: Hey, there's a fly in my
Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?... More ››
74 - Waiter, there is
a maggot in my soup
Don't worry sir, he won't last long in there !... More ››
75 - Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my
Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!... More ››
76 - Waiter, there's a fly in my
of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.... More ››
77 - Customer: Why is this
sandwich half eaten?
Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it.... More ››
78 - Diner: Why are the
waiters in here so
Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.... More ››
79 - Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider
Waiter: It scares away the flies.... More ››
80 - Waiter,
there's a fly in my soup!
it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.... More ››
81 - Waiter, there's a fly in my
it's the rotting meat that attracts them !... More ››
82 - Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
sir, it's the hot water that kills them.... More ››
83 - Customer: Why don't you have doggie
Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals.... More ››
84 - Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
but unfortunately we are out of turtle.... More ››
85 - Waiter, there is a worm
on my plate
That's not a worm sir, it's your sausage ?... More ››
86 - Waiter, what's this fly doing in my
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir... More ››
87 - Customer: Why does your sign say
Waiter: We can dream, can't we?... More ››
88 - Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Customer: No, with mustard.... More ››
89 - Waiter, there's a dead
fly in my
What do you expect for $1 - a live one?... More ››
90 - Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup
Don't worry sir, they don't eat much !... More ››
91 - Waiter, your tie is in
all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.... More ››
92 - Customer: I didn't
I know, but your meal tastes worse.... More ››
93 - Waiter, my lunch is talking to me !
did ask for a tongue sandwich !... More ››
94 - CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float?
WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.... More ››
95 - "Waiter !
Have you got frogs' legs ? "
"No, sir, I always walk this way"... More ››
96 - CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig
WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.... More ››
97 - Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my
Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.... More ››
98 - Waiter, what is this cockroach doing on my ice
cream sundae ?
Skiing sir !... More ››
99 - CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler?
WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.... More ››
100 - Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
sir, I'll get the fly spray !... More ››
101 - Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Sir, there's no extra charge!... More ››
102 - Waiter, there's a fly in my custard !
fetch him a spoon sir !... More ››
103 - Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: So laugh, sir.... More ››
104 - Waiter, what's this fly
doing in my
It's fly soup sir!... More ››
105 - Waiter, is there soup on the menu ?
madam I wiped it off !... More ››
106 - Patron: This bread
wasn't last week.... More ››
107 - What will a monster eat in a restaurant?
The waiter.... More ››