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fishing JOKES (random)

Where do fish wash ?
In a river basin !

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 1 - It was well known that a certain lake was very poor for fishing up north, but a game warden happ... More ››
 2 - Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat. When the thre... More ››
 3 - MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishin... More ››
 4 - There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky e... More ››
 5 - Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms. Two other I... More ››
 6 - Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable t... More ››
 7 - A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became... More ››
 8 - Why do penguins eat fish? Because donuts get soggy before they can catch them.... More ››
 9 - What fish make the best sandwich? A peanut butter and jellyfish... More ››
 10 - One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand... More ››
 11 - Many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children v... More ››
 12 - An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had... More ››
 13 - A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish... More ››
 14 - A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the b... More ››
 15 - Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook... More ››
 16 - Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, t... More ››
 17 - Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish... More ››
 18 - While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his... More ››
 19 - Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and w... More ››
 20 - Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring a... More ››
 21 - One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and... More ››
 22 - Bob is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is... More ››
 23 - The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trou... More ››
 24 - Fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as... More ››
 25 - Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish. The first blon... More ››
 26 - Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.... More ››
 27 - One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attenti... More ››
 28 - Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - o... More ››
 29 - A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish. One day while he w... More ››
 30 - Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fis... More ››
 31 - One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're... More ››
 32 - Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wa... More ››
 33 - A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man... More ››
 34 - George went fishing, but at the end of the day he had not caught one fish. On the way back to c... More ››
 35 - A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the wa... More ››
 36 - An old lady saw a little boy with a fishing-rod over his shoulder and a jar of tadpoles in his... More ››
 37 - Tim once took his small cousin with him while he went fishing: When he returned, he was looking... More ››
 38 - Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing ru... More ››
 39 - The little kid sat on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain. Feeling sorry for... More ››
 40 - "Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane... More ››
 41 - A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today The boss asks why and the guy says... More ››
 42 - Q: How many anglers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four, one to change the light bulb... More ››
 43 - A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. "Have you had... More ››
 44 - Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything? By the... More ››
 45 - "I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead."... More ››
 46 - "I caught a twenty pound salmon last week." "Were there any witnesses?" "There sure were.... More ››
 47 - Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fi... More ››
 48 - "What's the biggest fish you ever caught?" "That would be the one that measured fourteen inches.... More ››
 49 - Retired colonel, talking of the good old days: Have you ever hunted bear? His grandson's teach... More ››
 50 - How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out? I don't know the... More ››
 51 - How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing? Four. One to cut the hole in the ice, an... More ››
 52 - How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? One, but you should have seen the bulb,... More ››
 53 - Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins, close the lid and... More ››
 54 - What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student? One baits his hook, the other ha... More ››
 55 - Q: What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything. A: Three Me... More ››
 56 - What's the difference between an angler and a dunce? One baits his hooks while the other hates... More ››
 57 - What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ? Fished, but he didn't catch much. He only had t... More ››
 58 - If you're fishing on ice, you should never tell a joke on ice. WHY??? The ice will crack up!... More ››
 59 - I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said "it's me or your fishing." Gee I miss her.... More ››
 60 - What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand ? Birdsthigh fish fingers !... More ››
 61 - Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other "can you smell fish?".... More ››
 62 - Why are fish cleverer than humans? Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?... More ››
 63 - What fish sounds like a telephone? Herring, herring...herring, herring...herring, herring.... More ››
 64 - Why men like to fishing so much? They finally found something as smart as them to talk to.... More ››
 65 - What bit of fish doesn't make sense ? The piece of cod that passeth all understanding !... More ››
 66 - What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ? The Codfather !... More ››
 67 - I was glad when one fish got away. There just wasn't room in the boat for both of us!... More ››
 68 - Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I'm not fishing, I'm drowning worms.... More ››
 69 - What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings ? A fish tank !... More ››
 70 - What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain? Anything you like, he can't hear you.... More ››
 71 - Lee: I just swallowed a fish bone! Counselor: Are you choking? Lee: No, I'm serious!... More ››
 72 - Where do you go to meet the best fish? It doesn't matter - any old plaice will do.... More ››
 73 - Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear ? Because they have electric 'eels !... More ››
 74 - Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano? A. You can't tuna fish.... More ››
 75 - How did the fish's tail get stuck in the anchor chain? It was just a fluke!... More ››
 76 - What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd? He called the piano tuna!... More ››
 77 - Why are fish no good at tennis? They don't like to get too close to the net!... More ››
 78 - What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing? The cast-a-net.... More ››
 79 - What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment ? A flat fish !... More ››
 80 - What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much ? A beer-a-cuda !... More ››
 81 - What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend ? 'Your plaice or mine' !... More ››
 82 - Why are fish so gullible? They fall for things hook, line and sinker!... More ››
 83 - Which fish dresses the best? The Swordfish - It always looks sharp!... More ››
 84 - When fish play football, who is the captain ? The team's kipper !... More ››
 85 - What do romantic fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening !... More ››
 86 - What's the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you.... More ››
 87 - Q:what did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall? A:Damn... More ››
 88 - What sort of net is useless for catching fish ? A football net !... More ››
 89 - Have you seen the new fishing website? No, it's not online yet.... More ››
 90 - What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ? Monkfish !... More ››
 91 - What will santa bring your fish this christmas? A scale letrix!... More ››
 92 - What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head? Ray!... More ››
 93 - Why should you use six hooks on your fishing line? eFISHancy!... More ››
 94 - How do you post a fish? You send it COD ... or first bass mail... More ››
 95 - Why is a fish easy to weigh ? Because it has its own scales !... More ››
 96 - What did the sardine call the submarine ? A can of people !... More ››
 97 - What kind of fish will help you hear better ? A herring aid !... More ››
 98 - Q. Where does a fish keep his money A. In the River Bank!... More ››
 99 - How do you get around fast on the bottom of the sea? Skates!... More ››
 100 - How do fish go into business ? The start on a small scale !... More ››
 101 - Where are most fish found ? Between the head and the tail !... More ››
 102 - What was the name of Tom Sawyer's fish? Huckleberry Fin!... More ››
 103 - What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish ? Tsardines !... More ››
 104 - What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather ? Skate !... More ››
 105 - Q:what do you catch when you go ice fishing A:a cold... More ››
 106 - How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line!... More ››
 107 - Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !... More ››
 108 - Why are gold fish orange ? The water makes them rusty !... More ››
 109 - What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on? A Perch!... More ››
 110 - What fish goes up the river at 100mph ? A motor pike !... More ››
 111 - What kind of money do fishermen make ? Net profits !... More ››
 112 - What's a sea serpent's favourite meal? Fish and ships!... More ››
 113 - To whom do fish go to borrow money ? The loan shark !... More ››
 114 - Which fish go to heaven when they die ? Angelfish !... More ››
 115 - What TV game show do fish like best? Name that tuna!... More ››
 116 - What part of a fish weighs the most ? It's scales !... More ››
 117 - Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!... More ››
 118 - What do you call a literary fish? Salmon Rushdie!... More ››
 119 - What fish do road-menders use ? Pneumatic krill !... More ››
 120 - Which fish can perform operations ? A Sturgeon !... More ››
 121 - What fish is best to have in a boat? A Sailfish.... More ››
 122 - What is a knight's favourite fish? A swordfish!... More ››
 123 - What do you call a fish with no eyes ? Fish !... More ››
 124 - What do naked fish play with ? Bare-a-cudas !... More ››
 125 - How do the fish get to school ? By octobus !... More ››
 126 - What fish only swims at night ? A starfish !... More ››
 127 - What do dirty fish read? Prawno Magazines!... More ››
 128 - How do you tune a fish? With its scales!... More ››
 129 - Where do fish sleep? In a river bed.... More ››
 130 - Where do fish wash ? In a river basin !... More ››
 131 - Where do fish come from? Finland!... More ››
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