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fishing JOKES (random)

Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying.
His mother asked him what the problem was.
"Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish.
Really big.
Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away." "Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that.
You should have just laughed it off." "But that's just what I did, mommy."

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 1 - It was well known that a certain lake was very poor for fishing up north, but a game warden happ... More ››
 2 - Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat. When the thre... More ››
 3 - MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishin... More ››
 4 - There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky e... More ››
 5 - Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms. Two other I... More ››
 6 - Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable t... More ››
 7 - A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became... More ››
 8 - What fish make the best sandwich? A peanut butter and jellyfish... More ››
 9 - One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand... More ››
 10 - Many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children v... More ››
 11 - An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had... More ››
 12 - A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish... More ››
 13 - A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the b... More ››
 14 - Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook... More ››
 15 - Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, t... More ››
 16 - Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish... More ››
 17 - While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his... More ››
 18 - Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and w... More ››
 19 - Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring a... More ››
 20 - One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and... More ››
 21 - Bob is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is... More ››
 22 - The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trou... More ››
 23 - Fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as... More ››
 24 - Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish. The first blon... More ››
 25 - Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.... More ››
 26 - One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attenti... More ››
 27 - Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - o... More ››
 28 - A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish. One day while he w... More ››
 29 - Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fis... More ››
 30 - One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're... More ››
 31 - Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wa... More ››
 32 - A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man... More ››
 33 - George went fishing, but at the end of the day he had not caught one fish. On the way back to c... More ››
 34 - A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the wa... More ››
 35 - An old lady saw a little boy with a fishing-rod over his shoulder and a jar of tadpoles in his... More ››
 36 - Tim once took his small cousin with him while he went fishing: When he returned, he was looking... More ››
 37 - Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing ru... More ››
 38 - The little kid sat on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain. Feeling sorry for... More ››
 39 - "Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane... More ››
 40 - A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today The boss asks why and the guy says... More ››
 41 - Q: How many anglers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four, one to change the light bulb... More ››
 42 - A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. "Have you had... More ››
 43 - Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything? By the... More ››
 44 - "I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead."... More ››
 45 - "I caught a twenty pound salmon last week." "Were there any witnesses?" "There sure were.... More ››
 46 - Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fi... More ››
 47 - "What's the biggest fish you ever caught?" "That would be the one that measured fourteen inches.... More ››
 48 - Retired colonel, talking of the good old days: Have you ever hunted bear? His grandson's teach... More ››
 49 - How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out? I don't know the... More ››
 50 - How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing? Four. One to cut the hole in the ice, an... More ››
 51 - How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? One, but you should have seen the bulb,... More ››
 52 - Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins, close the lid and... More ››
 53 - What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student? One baits his hook, the other ha... More ››
 54 - Q: What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything. A: Three Me... More ››
 55 - What's the difference between an angler and a dunce? One baits his hooks while the other hates... More ››
 56 - What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ? Fished, but he didn't catch much. He only had t... More ››
 57 - If you're fishing on ice, you should never tell a joke on ice. WHY??? The ice will crack up!... More ››
 58 - I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said "it's me or your fishing." Gee I miss her.... More ››
 59 - What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand ? Birdsthigh fish fingers !... More ››
 60 - Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other "can you smell fish?".... More ››
 61 - Why are fish cleverer than humans? Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?... More ››
 62 - What fish sounds like a telephone? Herring, herring...herring, herring...herring, herring.... More ››
 63 - Why men like to fishing so much? They finally found something as smart as them to talk to.... More ››
 64 - What bit of fish doesn't make sense ? The piece of cod that passeth all understanding !... More ››
 65 - What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ? The Codfather !... More ››
 66 - I was glad when one fish got away. There just wasn't room in the boat for both of us!... More ››
 67 - Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I'm not fishing, I'm drowning worms.... More ››
 68 - What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings ? A fish tank !... More ››
 69 - What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain? Anything you like, he can't hear you.... More ››
 70 - Lee: I just swallowed a fish bone! Counselor: Are you choking? Lee: No, I'm serious!... More ››
 71 - Where do you go to meet the best fish? It doesn't matter - any old plaice will do.... More ››
 72 - Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear ? Because they have electric 'eels !... More ››
 73 - Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano? A. You can't tuna fish.... More ››
 74 - Why do penguins eat fish? Because donuts get soggy before they can catch them.... More ››
 75 - How did the fish's tail get stuck in the anchor chain? It was just a fluke!... More ››
 76 - What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd? He called the piano tuna!... More ››
 77 - Why are fish no good at tennis? They don't like to get too close to the net!... More ››
 78 - What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing? The cast-a-net.... More ››
 79 - What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment ? A flat fish !... More ››
 80 - What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much ? A beer-a-cuda !... More ››
 81 - What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend ? 'Your plaice or mine' !... More ››
 82 - Why are fish so gullible? They fall for things hook, line and sinker!... More ››
 83 - Which fish dresses the best? The Swordfish - It always looks sharp!... More ››
 84 - When fish play football, who is the captain ? The team's kipper !... More ››
 85 - What do romantic fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening !... More ››
 86 - What's the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you.... More ››
 87 - Q:what did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall? A:Damn... More ››
 88 - What sort of net is useless for catching fish ? A football net !... More ››
 89 - Have you seen the new fishing website? No, it's not online yet.... More ››
 90 - What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ? Monkfish !... More ››
 91 - What will santa bring your fish this christmas? A scale letrix!... More ››
 92 - What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head? Ray!... More ››
 93 - Why should you use six hooks on your fishing line? eFISHancy!... More ››
 94 - How do you post a fish? You send it COD ... or first bass mail... More ››
 95 - Why is a fish easy to weigh ? Because it has its own scales !... More ››
 96 - What did the sardine call the submarine ? A can of people !... More ››
 97 - What kind of fish will help you hear better ? A herring aid !... More ››
 98 - Q. Where does a fish keep his money A. In the River Bank!... More ››
 99 - How do you get around fast on the bottom of the sea? Skates!... More ››
 100 - How do fish go into business ? The start on a small scale !... More ››
 101 - Where are most fish found ? Between the head and the tail !... More ››
 102 - What was the name of Tom Sawyer's fish? Huckleberry Fin!... More ››
 103 - What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish ? Tsardines !... More ››
 104 - What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather ? Skate !... More ››
 105 - Q:what do you catch when you go ice fishing A:a cold... More ››
 106 - How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line!... More ››
 107 - Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !... More ››
 108 - Why are gold fish orange ? The water makes them rusty !... More ››
 109 - What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on? A Perch!... More ››
 110 - What fish goes up the river at 100mph ? A motor pike !... More ››
 111 - What kind of money do fishermen make ? Net profits !... More ››
 112 - What's a sea serpent's favourite meal? Fish and ships!... More ››
 113 - To whom do fish go to borrow money ? The loan shark !... More ››
 114 - Which fish go to heaven when they die ? Angelfish !... More ››
 115 - What TV game show do fish like best? Name that tuna!... More ››
 116 - What part of a fish weighs the most ? It's scales !... More ››
 117 - Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!... More ››
 118 - What do you call a literary fish? Salmon Rushdie!... More ››
 119 - What fish do road-menders use ? Pneumatic krill !... More ››
 120 - Which fish can perform operations ? A Sturgeon !... More ››
 121 - What fish is best to have in a boat? A Sailfish.... More ››
 122 - What is a knight's favourite fish? A swordfish!... More ››
 123 - What do you call a fish with no eyes ? Fish !... More ››
 124 - What do naked fish play with ? Bare-a-cudas !... More ››
 125 - How do the fish get to school ? By octobus !... More ››
 126 - What fish only swims at night ? A starfish !... More ››
 127 - What do dirty fish read? Prawno Magazines!... More ››
 128 - How do you tune a fish? With its scales!... More ››
 129 - Where do fish sleep? In a river bed.... More ››
 130 - Where do fish wash ? In a river basin !... More ››
 131 - Where do fish come from? Finland!... More ››
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