1 - "Dad, why do you write so slow?" asked
Dennis. "I have to," replied his father. "I'm a slow read... More ››
2 - A small boy is sent to bed by his
[Five minutes later]
"What?"... More ››
3 - A man
and his wife were making their first
doctor visit, the wife being
pregnant with their fi... More ››
4 - Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to
'Teddy,' he called, 'how... More ››
5 - We spend the first twelve months of our
teaching them to walk and talk, and the... More ››
6 - Four
expectant fathers were in a
Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while
their wives were in... More ››
7 - A man observed a woman in the grocery store
with a three year old
girl in her basket. As they pa... More ››
8 - There was a woman who was pregnant with
twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an acci... More ››
9 - A very successful businessman had a meeting
with his new
son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and no... More ››
10 - A country doctor went way out to the boondocks
to deliver a baby.
It was so far out, there wa... More ››
11 - An irate father stormed into the principal's
office. "I demand to know," he screamed, "why my so... More ››
12 - A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever se... More ››
13 - Martin had just received his brand new drivers
license. The family troops
out to the driveway, a... More ››
14 - During a flood in a small Ohio town, a young
girl was perched on top of a house with a little bo... More ››
15 - When our second child was on the way, my wife
attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples... More ››
16 - On a
flight to Florida, I was preparing my
notes for one of the parent-education
seminars I co... More ››
17 - For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his
first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sist... More ››
18 - With four
daughters and one son always
dashing to school activities and part-time
jobs, our sc... More ››
19 - "Dad," said Rickey, "what is electricity?"
"Uh," replied his father, "I don't really know too... More ››
20 - For two solid hours, the lady
to a man on an airplane had told him about her
gran... More ››
21 - Talbot and his son James were
Mrs. Cren-shaw's classroom.
"Mr. Talbot," said the t... More ››
22 - The man passed out in a dead faint as he came
his front door onto the porch.
Someone... More ››
23 - A woman meant to call a record store but dialed
wrong number and got a private home instead.... More ››
24 - Mrs. Ellis came home from
work one evening
to find her three-year-old son lighting up a cigar. S... More ››
25 - Kids can sometimes ask the toughest
Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?
Father... More ››
26 - There was this little kid who had a bad
habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him... More ››
27 - A mother of two teenage boys, was constantly
being asked to
look for things they couldn't find.... More ››
28 - Old-fashioned Zachary approached Lureen's
father, intent upon asking him for her hand in marriag... More ››
29 - At dinner, Seth said to his father,
"Dad, I got into trouble at school today and it's all your... More ››
30 - When Ben hit his thumb with a hammer he
out a few choice words. Shocked by her son's outburs... More ››
31 - "What are you reading?" demanded
of his seven-year-old.
"A story about a cow jump... More ››
32 - The lifeguard told the mother to make her young
son stop urinating
in the pool.
"Everyone kno... More ››
33 - Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip
and asked her
"How did Greg do on h... More ››
34 - Bentley and his wife and son were sitting at
the dinner table when the boy
suddenly blurted out,... More ››
35 - Down at the
office Bostwick boasted to one
of his buddies,
"My son Arthur is smarter even tha... More ››
36 - "Son, you sure do ask a lot of questions,"
said the father. "I'd like to know what would have ha... More ››
37 - A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My
wife is pregnant, and
her contractions are only two... More ››
38 - Tad looked up from the book on ancient history
he was reading and asked his father, "Pop, what's... More ››
39 - "Honey," said Mrs.
Beldon to her
"Lester's teacher says he ought to have an encyclop... More ››
40 - Father:
" I know the answer to your bad
grades. You're spending too much time
watching televis... More ››
41 - Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by
She said, "But Father, I'm... More ››
42 - Boy: Dad, Dad, come out. My
fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads.
Dad: No,... More ››
43 - Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used
be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m..... More ››
44 - Young Bobby was
being fitted for glasses,
and his father, standing beside him, said,
"Now, rem... More ››
45 - Father: I want to take my girl our of this
Teacher: But she's top of the... More ››
46 - NEWS ITEM. Kidnappers grabbed a little boy and
two days later sent him home with a ransom note.... More ››
47 - Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143
from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when y... More ››
48 - Dad: Why is your January report card so bad
Son: Well, you know how it is. Things are always ma... More ››
49 - Come here, you greedy wretch. I'll teach you
to eat all your sister's birthday chocs.
It's all... More ››
50 - "Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse?"
"Okay," replied his father, "but d... More ››
51 - Girl: Mom, mom a monster's just bitten my foot
Mom: Well, keep out of the kitchen, I've jus... More ››
52 - Father:
Don't you think our son gets his
brains from me?
Mother: Probably, dear. I still have... More ››
53 - Son: Where are the Himalayas?
you'd put things away, you'd know where to find
them.... More ››
54 - "Papa, who was Hamlet?"
Bring me the Bible and I'll show you who he
was."... More ››
55 - Q: How much does it cost to get married,
A: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.... More ››
56 - "Dad, do you believe in Buddha?" "Why, of
course, but I think
margarine is just as good."... More ››
57 - Did
you hear about the little boy who was
named after his father ?
They called him Dad !... More ››
58 - What's another name for an parent?
who's stopped growing except around the waist.... More ››
59 - Son:
What is an autobiography?
Er, the story of an automobile.... More ››
60 - What didn't Adam and Eve have that
everyone else has?
Parents.... More ››
61 - What do young ghosts
call their parents?
Deady and Mummy.... More ››
62 - Why are parents boring?
groan-ups.... More ››
63 - When is a parent like a child?
When he's a
miner.... More ››
64 - What do you
call a small parent?
minimum !... More ››