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parent JOKES (random)

What's another name for an parent?
Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist.

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 1 - "Dad, why do you write so slow?" asked Dennis. "I have to," replied his father. "I'm a slow read... More ››
 2 - A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there wa... More ››
 3 - A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever se... More ››
 4 - A small boy is sent to bed by his father... [Five minutes later] "Da-ad..." "What?"... More ››
 5 - A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their fi... More ››
 6 - Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance. 'Teddy,' he called, 'how... More ››
 7 - We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the... More ››
 8 - Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in... More ››
 9 - A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they pa... More ››
 10 - There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an acci... More ››
 11 - A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and no... More ››
 12 - An irate father stormed into the principal's office. "I demand to know," he screamed, "why my so... More ››
 13 - Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, a... More ››
 14 - During a flood in a small Ohio town, a young girl was perched on top of a house with a little bo... More ››
 15 - When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples... More ››
 16 - On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I co... More ››
 17 - For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sist... More ››
 18 - With four daughters and one son always dashing to school activities and part-time jobs, our sc... More ››
 19 - "Dad," said Rickey, "what is electricity?" "Uh," replied his father, "I don't really know too... More ››
 20 - For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her gran... More ››
 21 - Talbot and his son James were called to Mrs. Cren-shaw's classroom. "Mr. Talbot," said the t... More ››
 22 - The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone... More ››
 23 - A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.... More ››
 24 - Mrs. Ellis came home from work one evening to find her three-year-old son lighting up a cigar. S... More ››
 25 - Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions. Son: Father, Can I ask you a question? Father... More ››
 26 - There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him... More ››
 27 - A mother of two teenage boys, was constantly being asked to look for things they couldn't find.... More ››
 28 - Old-fashioned Zachary approached Lureen's father, intent upon asking him for her hand in marriag... More ››
 29 - At dinner, Seth said to his father, "Dad, I got into trouble at school today and it's all your... More ››
 30 - When Ben hit his thumb with a hammer he let out a few choice words. Shocked by her son's outburs... More ››
 31 - "What are you reading?" demanded the father of his seven-year-old. "A story about a cow jump... More ››
 32 - The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool. "Everyone kno... More ››
 33 - Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, "How did Greg do on h... More ››
 34 - Bentley and his wife and son were sitting at the dinner table when the boy suddenly blurted out,... More ››
 35 - Down at the office Bostwick boasted to one of his buddies, "My son Arthur is smarter even tha... More ››
 36 - "Son, you sure do ask a lot of questions," said the father. "I'd like to know what would have ha... More ››
 37 - A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two... More ››
 38 - Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father, "Pop, what's... More ››
 39 - "Honey," said Mrs. Beldon to her husband, "Lester's teacher says he ought to have an encyclop... More ››
 40 - Father: " I know the answer to your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching televis... More ››
 41 - Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven o'clock." She said, "But Father, I'm... More ››
 42 - Boy: Dad, Dad, come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No,... More ››
 43 - Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m..... More ››
 44 - Young Bobby was being fitted for glasses, and his father, standing beside him, said, "Now, rem... More ››
 45 - Father: I want to take my girl our of this terrible math class. Teacher: But she's top of the... More ››
 46 - NEWS ITEM. Kidnappers grabbed a little boy and two days later sent him home with a ransom note.... More ››
 47 - Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when y... More ››
 48 - Dad: Why is your January report card so bad ? Son: Well, you know how it is. Things are always ma... More ››
 49 - Come here, you greedy wretch. I'll teach you to eat all your sister's birthday chocs. It's all... More ››
 50 - "Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse?" asked Rupert. "Okay," replied his father, "but d... More ››
 51 - Girl: Mom, mom a monster's just bitten my foot off. Mom: Well, keep out of the kitchen, I've jus... More ››
 52 - Father: Don't you think our son gets his brains from me? Mother: Probably, dear. I still have... More ››
 53 - Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away, you'd know where to find them.... More ››
 54 - "Papa, who was Hamlet?" "You birdbrain! Bring me the Bible and I'll show you who he was."... More ››
 55 - Q: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? A: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.... More ››
 56 - "Dad, do you believe in Buddha?" "Why, of course, but I think margarine is just as good."... More ››
 57 - Did you hear about the little boy who was named after his father ? They called him Dad !... More ››
 58 - What's another name for an parent? Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist.... More ››
 59 - Son: What is an autobiography? Father: Er, the story of an automobile.... More ››
 60 - What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has? Parents.... More ››
 61 - What do young ghosts call their parents? Deady and Mummy.... More ››
 62 - Why are parents boring? Because they're groan-ups.... More ››
 63 - When is a parent like a child? When he's a miner.... More ››
 64 - What do you call a small parent? A minimum !... More ››
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