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religious JOKES (random)

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now.
You may begin the service."

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 136 - Paul says to Jesus, "Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?" Jesus says, "Just hanging around."... More ››
 137 - What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale ? You can't keep a good man down !... More ››
 138 - Doctor: 'Your recovery was a miracle!' Patient: 'PRAISE GOD. Now I don't have to pay you!'... More ››
 139 - Who is the fastest runner in history. Adam - because he was the first in the human race.... More ››
 140 - What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A nun rolling down a hill.... More ››
 141 - Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down.... More ››
 142 - What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil? A religious movement!... More ››
 143 - Jill: Have you read the Bible? Jack: No, I'm waiting for the film to come round.... More ››
 144 - Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? A: He sold his soul to Santa.... More ››
 145 - What is the meaning of life? All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.... More ››
 146 - Who was the best actor in the bible ? Samson, he brought the house down !... More ››
 147 - Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise? A. Turn right and go straight.... More ››
 148 - Q: Why did God create man before woman? A: He didn't want any advice.... More ››
 149 - How do Religious Education teachers mark exams? With spirit levels.... More ››
 150 - Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A. Ruth-less.... More ››
 151 - Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A: A roamin' Catholic!... More ››
 152 - Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds.... More ››
 153 - What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar? He raised Cain.... More ››
 154 - Q. How do you make holy water? A. Boil the hell out of it.... More ››
 155 - Q: Why didn't Noah go fishing? A: He only had two worms!... More ››
 156 - What language do the Vatican Police speak? Pig Latin!... More ››
 157 - Is there a God? A billion Hindus can't be wrong.... More ››
 158 - At what time of day was Adam born? Just before Eve.... More ››
 159 - Who designed Noah's ark? An ark-itect !... More ››
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