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BAR BEER BOOZE AND FUN

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BAR BEER BOOZE AND FUN JOKES!

bar beer booze and fun JOKES (random)

Last New Year's Eve, one woman stood up at the local tavern and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. It was embarrassing - The bartender was almost crushed to death.

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY bar beer booze and fun JOKES:

 1 - There were these three brothers that were very close to each other. The brothers always went to... More ››
 2 - A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest whis... More ››
 3 - Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening the... More ››
 4 - A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes... More ››
 5 - The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few... More ››
 6 - A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large bla... More ››
 7 - John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good... More ››
 8 - A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk.... More ››
 9 - Two men who are out walking their dogs meet on a street corner. One says to the other, "Boy... More ››
 10 - It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a... More ››
 11 - John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the p... More ››
 12 - The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a... More ››
 13 - A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.... More ››
 14 - A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he... More ››
 15 - The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch,... More ››
 16 - There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. After he didn't move... More ››
 17 - A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone... More ››
 18 - A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle's one eye is black an... More ››
 19 - One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic. He drank half of it and poured... More ››
 20 - A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After... More ››
 21 - A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them... More ››
 22 - A pirate was talking to a "land-lubber" in a bar. The land-lubber noticed that, like any sel... More ››
 23 - A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says,... More ››
 24 - A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I h... More ››
 25 - A man walks into a Kansas bar with his golden retriever. "Hey," says the bartender, "No dogs... More ››
 26 - A guy walks into a tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing t... More ››
 27 - After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out... More ››
 28 - A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer.... More ››
 29 - A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to... More ››
 30 - A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the... More ››
 31 - An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a dri... More ››
 32 - A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie w... More ››
 33 - A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it... More ››
 34 - A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He... More ››
 35 - Old man O'Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying... More ››
 36 - A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfrien... More ››
 37 - A man is in a bar having a drink. The guy next to him falls off of his barstool. The man picks... More ››
 38 - John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferr... More ››
 39 - Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It... More ››
 40 - The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later... More ››
 41 - A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little sho... More ››
 42 - A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn't... More ››
 43 - A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him... More ››
 44 - A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the... More ››
 45 - A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comm... More ››
 46 - An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night... More ››
 47 - Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the f... More ››
 48 - One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to... More ››
 49 - A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Six shots? What's... More ››
 50 - A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a... More ››
 51 - A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He ju... More ››
 52 - The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into... More ››
 53 - A guy walked into a bar and said "Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender." But when it... More ››
 54 - One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for anoth... More ››
 55 - The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of... More ››
 56 - A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though.... More ››
 57 - A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ''I'm Je... More ››
 58 - A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ''I'm Jesu... More ››
 59 - The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-look... More ››
 60 - A man walks in to a bar and says to the bartenter " Give me twenty shots of your best singlemalt... More ››
 61 - A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink t... More ››
 62 - A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he... More ››
 63 - A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into every car and then rub... More ››
 64 - A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated... More ››
 65 - A cowboy walks in to a bar and says," I want a beer." So after he drank his beer he was abou... More ››
 66 - A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer. "That will be one ruble," says the bartender. "O... More ››
 67 - A drunk is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober.... More ››
 68 - McPherson walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives... More ››
 69 - It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. "What will y... More ››
 70 - A group of loud and rowdy drunks were making a racket in the street. It was the wee small hours... More ››
 71 - Recently scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove t... More ››
 72 - A man drinking at the bar for three hours, yells at the bartender for another drink. The bar... More ››
 73 - Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. "Poor Mich... More ››
 74 - A man walks into a bar and orders a shot then looks into his pocket. he does this over and o... More ››
 75 - At the end of the night a man leaves the bar. Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and... More ››
 76 - "I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll... More ››
 77 - "Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstoo... More ››
 78 - Last New Year's Eve, one woman stood up at the local tavern and said that it was time to get... More ››
 79 - A man comes in to the room and says to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on." T... More ››
 80 - A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that... More ››
 81 - Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and... More ››
 82 - A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bi... More ››
 83 - A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I do... More ››
 84 - Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female... More ››
 85 - Two ladies are in a bar and the first lady says, "Why are men the same as parking lots". S... More ››
 86 - A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I can't ser... More ››
 87 - Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to... More ››
 88 - A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' a... More ››
 89 - A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please." The barman looks at h... More ››
 90 - Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is... More ››
 91 - A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refus... More ››
 92 - A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a bee... More ››
 93 - An Indian, a Rabbi, the Pope, an Italian, and an Irishman all walk into a bar together and s... More ››
 94 - A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal, "W... More ››
 95 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small... More ››
 96 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something re... More ››
 97 - "Didja hear the news?" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. "Harrigan drank so much, his wife... More ››
 98 - A guy walks into a bar carrying a pair of jumper cables. He sets 'em down on the bar. And then... More ››
 99 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and sm... More ››
 100 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you... More ››
 101 - A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the barman "Can I have a... More ››
 102 - Ever hear the expression "hard drinker" ? Never made much sense to me, drinking's one of the... More ››
 103 - Q: What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? A: Ok yo... More ››
 104 - Contrary to what people say, you can indeed drink to relax. Of course sometimes, you get so c... More ››
 105 - I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who l... More ››
 106 - A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve... More ››
 107 - Remember, an alcoholic & a drunk are not the same thing at all. The alcoholic has to attend m... More ››
 108 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with c... More ››
 109 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.... More ››
 110 - Two men walked into a bar. You would think at least one of them would have ducked.... More ››
 111 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.... More ››
 112 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.... More ››
 113 - Twenty-four hours in a day... twenty-four beers in a case... coincidence?... More ››
 114 - Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."... More ››
 115 - What happened when the barman died? The police held an inn-quest... More ››
 116 - A Skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a beer... and a mop.... More ››
 117 - How do barmen surf the web? On the Gin-ternet.... More ››
 118 - Where do Martians drink beer ? At a mars bar !... More ››
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