ANSWER ME THIS
Answer me this
Bar beer booze and fun
Brother and sister
Car and train
Dead and dying
Doctor and nurse
Hair and bald
Heaven and hell
Idiot and fool
Movie and TV
Travel and tourist
PIADAS - Curtas, Loiras, Sogras...
THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!
Accountant JOKE (1st joke of the minute)
A young accountant spends a week at his new
office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every
morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens
desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing
paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with
returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins
his day's work.
After he retires, the new accountant can hardly
wait to read for
himself the message contained in the envelope in
the drawer, particularly
since he feels so inadequate in replacing
the far wiser and more highly
esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks
to himself, it must contain the
great secret to his success, a
wondrous treasure of inspiration and
motivation. His fingers tremble
anxiously as he removes the mysterious
envelope from the drawer and
reads the following message:
"Debits in the column toward the file cabinet.
Credits in the column toward the window."
Cat JOKE (2nd joke of the minute)
For all of you with teenagers or who have had
teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know why they really have
in common with cats:
- Neither teenagers nor cats
turn their heads when you call them by
- No matter what
you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane
barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting
hand and foot.
- You rarely see a cat walking outside of the
house with an adult human
being, and it can be safely said that no
teenager in his or her right
mind wants to be seen in public with his
or her parents.
- Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno,
neither your cat nor your
teen will ever crack a smile.
cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
- Cats and teenagers
can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end
- Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry o
n as if they did.
- Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same
that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of
complete and utter boredom.
- Cats and teenagers do not improve
- Cats that are free to roam outside
sometimes have been known to
return in the middle of the night to deposit
a dead animal in your bedroom.
Teenagers are not above that sort of
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources
of advice are not
other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a
good idea to keep a
guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And
remember, above all else, put
out the food and do not make any sudden
moves in their direction. When
they make up their minds, they will
finally come to you for some
affection and comfort, and it will be a
triumphant moment for all
- Humor is a universal language
( Sent by John)
- Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
( Sent by David)
- Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
( Sent by Robin)
- We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
( Sent by Will)
- Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
( Sent by Arnold)
- The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
( Sent by Bill)
- I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup.
( Sent by Margaret)
- Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self.
( Sent by Riley)
- Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time.
( Sent by Jan Neruda)
- Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness!
( Sent by Saffron)
- Have a better definition? Share it!