ANSWER ME THIS
Answer me this
Bar beer booze and fun
Brother and sister
Car and train
Dead and dying
Doctor and nurse
Hair and bald
Heaven and hell
Idiot and fool
Movie and TV
Travel and tourist
PIADAS - Curtas, Loiras, Sogras...
THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!
Christmas JOKE (1st joke of the minute)
Once upon a time there was a little girl who
wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her mother couldn't buy a kitten
parcel it up for Christmas Day, so she bought it a week before
and gave it to the little girl.
your Christmas present a week early this year,' her
explained as she handed over the fluffy little tabby kitten.
'Is that what
The little girl said, 'It's wonderful,
mother...just what I wanted.
There's just one thing wrong!'
'What's that?' her mother asked.
'Well, it has a cute little claw
on the outside of every paw and
another little claw on the inside
of every paw - but the poor little thing
has no claws at all in the
middle of its paws!'
Her mother smiled. 'Don't worry, Kitty.
When you wake up on Christmas
morning you'll find the claws are
Now Kitty loved her kitten dearly, but she worrie
d about the claws in
the middle of its paws. The days passed and
there wasn't even a hint, a
clue or an inkling of claws in the
middle of its paws.
When Christmas Eve arrived and there was still
no sign, Kitty went to
her mother and asked again, 'Are you
absolutely sure that the kitten
will have its middle claws tomorrow?
There's only a few hours to go and
there's not a hint or clue or an
inkling as to claws as far as I can
'Wait till you
wake up on Christmas morning,' her mother smiled and
stuffing the turkey.
So Kitty went to sleep a worried girl. When she
woke up on Christmas
morning she ignored the presents in her
stocking and rushed downstairs to
look at her little kitten.
was astounded, amazed and just a little surprised to see that her
kitten had four claws on every paw! The middle ones had appeared as if
Kitty rushed to her parent's bedroom. 'Mummy
, Mummy! The kitten has
grown its middle claws!'
course it has,' her mother grinned.
'But how did you know?'
Her father rolled over sleepily and sighed, 'Oh,
knows that Centre-claws always comes at
Accountant JOKE (2nd joke of the minute)
accountant goes into a pet shop to
buy a parrot. The shop owner shows
him three identical parrots on a
perch and says, "The parrot on the
left costs $500."
does that parrot cost so much?" asks the accountant.
replies the owner, "it knows how to do complex audits."
"How much does
the middle parrot cost?" asks the accountant.
"That one costs
$1,000 because it can do everything the first one can
do plus it
knows how to prepare financial forecasts".
The startled accountant
asks about the third parrot, to be told it
costs $4,000. Needless to
say, this begs the question, "What can it do?"
To which the
owner replies "To be honest, I've never seen him do a
darn thing, but
the other two call him Senior Partner."
- Humor is a universal language
( Sent by John)
- Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
( Sent by David)
- Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
( Sent by Robin)
- We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
( Sent by Will)
- Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
( Sent by Arnold)
- The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
( Sent by Bill)
- I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup.
( Sent by Margaret)
- Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self.
( Sent by Riley)
- Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time.
( Sent by Jan Neruda)
- Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness!
( Sent by Saffron)
- Have a better definition? Share it!