ANSWER ME THIS
Answer me this
Bar beer booze and fun
Brother and sister
Car and train
Dead and dying
Doctor and nurse
Hair and bald
Heaven and hell
Idiot and fool
Movie and TV
Travel and tourist
PIADAS - Curtas, Loiras, Sogras...
THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!
Accountant JOKE (1st joke of the minute)
in an accounting firm go
out to lunch. They are the audit partner, the
tax partner and the
senior partner. One of them sees a brass lamp lying
in the gutter.
Curious, they pick it up and give it a rub. Instantly, a
"You know the deal," says the genie. "Three wishes. But
are three of you, you can have one wish
"Great," says the audit partner. "Take me to the Whitsunday Islands,
give me a blonde and an endless supply of XXXX and leave me there for
Pouf! There is a flash of light, a puff of smoke and he
"Now me," says the tax partner. "Take me to the Cook
me two blondes and an endless supply of offshore tax
schemes and leave
me there for ever."
Pouf! There is a flash
of light, a puff of smoke and he is gone.
The genie turns to the
senior partner. "And what do you want?"
"I want those two back in the office straight after lunch."
Computer JOKE (2nd joke of the minute)
A Engineer and an Programmer are sitting next
to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Engineer leans
to the Programmer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.
Programmer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines
and rolls over
to the window to catch a few winks.
Engineer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lot
fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the
answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know
the answer, I'll pay you $5."
Again, the Programmer politely
declines and tries to get to sleep.The
Engineer, now somewhat
agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the
answer you pay me $5, and if
I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"
This catches the
Programmer's attention, and he sees no end to this
he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Engineer asks the
t question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Programmer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls
out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Engineer.
it's the Programmer's turn. He asks the Engineer "What goes up
hill with three legs, and comes down on four?"
looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his
and searches all of his references. He taps into the
his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.
about an hour, he wakes the Programmer and hands him $50. The
Programmer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to
The Engineer, more than a little miffed, shakes the
Programmer and asks
"Well, so what's the answer?"
word, the Programmer reaches into his wallet, hands the
a $5 bill, and turns away to get back to sleep.
- Humor is a universal language
( Sent by John)
- Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
( Sent by David)
- Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
( Sent by Robin)
- We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
( Sent by Will)
- Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
( Sent by Arnold)
- The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
( Sent by Bill)
- I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup.
( Sent by Margaret)
- Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self.
( Sent by Riley)
- Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time.
( Sent by Jan Neruda)
- Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness!
( Sent by Saffron)
- Have a better definition? Share it!