Jokes





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JOKES
BLOND
YO MOMMA
BIRTHDAY
KNOCK KNOCK
ANSWER ME THIS

A
Aardvark
Accountant
Answer me this
Ant
Apple
Attorney
Aviation

B
Baby
Banana
Bar beer booze and fun
Barbie doll
Bath
Beauty
Bed
Bicycle
Biologist
Bird
Birthday
Blind
Blonde
Book title
Brother and sister
Burger
Bus
Business

C
Cannibal
Car and train
Cat
Children
Christmas
Clinton
College
Computer
Cow
Cowboy
Criminal

D
Dance
Dead and dying
Dentist
Dinosaur
Divorce
Doctor and nurse
Dog

E
E mail
Easter
Elephant
Ethnic

F
Face
Farmer
Firefighter
Fishing
Food
Frog

G
Ghost
Gorilla

H
Hair and bald
Halloween
Heaven and hell
History
Horse
Humor
Hunting

I
Idiot and fool
Insect
Internet

J
Journalist
Judge

K
King Kong
Knock Knock

L
Lawyer
Letter
Lotto

M
Marriage
Men
Military
Money
Monster
Mouse
Movie and TV
Music

O
Old age

P
Parent
Phone
Pig
Police
Political

R
Rabbit
Religious
Restaurant

S
Salesmen
School
Snake
Snowman
Space
Spelling
Sport

T
Teeth
Time
Travel and tourist

V
Vampire
Various animal

W
Waiter
Weather
Witch
Women

Y
Yo momma

Z
Zodiac
Zoo

 

Brazilian Jokes
PIADAS - Curtas, Loiras, Sogras...

THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!

Heaven and hell JOKE (1st joke of the minute)

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?" So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony." "That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story. "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here." Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death. The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."

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Blonde JOKE (2nd joke of the minute)

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" "No," re plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"

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Humor Definitions:

  • Humor is a universal language ( piadas Sent by John)
  • Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
    ( piadas Sent by David)
  • Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. ( piadas Sent by Robin)
  • We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. ( piadas Sent by Will)
  • Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. ( piadas Sent by Arnold)
  • The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven. ( piadas Sent by Bill)
  • I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup. ( piadas Sent by Margaret)
  • Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self. ( piadas Sent by Riley)
  • Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time. ( piadas Sent by Jan Neruda)
  • Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness! ( piadas Sent by Saffron)
  • Have a better definition? Share it!

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