ANSWER ME THIS
Answer me this
Bar beer booze and fun
Brother and sister
Car and train
Dead and dying
Doctor and nurse
Hair and bald
Heaven and hell
Idiot and fool
Movie and TV
Travel and tourist
PIADAS - Curtas, Loiras, Sogras...
THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!
Accountant JOKE (1st joke of the minute)
accountant goes into a pet shop to
buy a parrot. The shop owner shows
him three identical parrots on a
perch and says, "The parrot on the
left costs $500."
does that parrot cost so much?" asks the accountant.
replies the owner, "it knows how to do complex audits."
"How much does
the middle parrot cost?" asks the accountant.
"That one costs
$1,000 because it can do everything the first one can
do plus it
knows how to prepare financial forecasts".
The startled accountant
asks about the third parrot, to be told it
costs $4,000. Needless to
say, this begs the question, "What can it do?"
To which the
owner replies "To be honest, I've never seen him do a
darn thing, but
the other two call him Senior Partner."
Accountant JOKE (2nd joke of the minute)
A business man was interviewing
applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to
select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each
question, "What is two and two?"
The first interviewee
was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty-two."
The second was a
social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer
but I'm glad we
had time to discuss this important question."
applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and
showed the answer
to be between 3.999 and 4.001.
The next person was a lawyer. He
stated that in the case of Jenkins v
Commr of Stamp Duties (Qld),
two and two was proven to be four.
The last applicant was an
accountant. The business man asked him, "How
much is two and
The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and
it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk
and said in a
low voice, "How much do you want it to
He got the job.
- Humor is a universal language
( Sent by John)
- Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
( Sent by David)
- Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
( Sent by Robin)
- We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
( Sent by Will)
- Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
( Sent by Arnold)
- The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
( Sent by Bill)
- I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup.
( Sent by Margaret)
- Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self.
( Sent by Riley)
- Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time.
( Sent by Jan Neruda)
- Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness!
( Sent by Saffron)
- Have a better definition? Share it!