ANSWER ME THIS
Answer me this
Bar beer booze and fun
Brother and sister
Car and train
Dead and dying
Doctor and nurse
Hair and bald
Heaven and hell
Idiot and fool
Movie and TV
Travel and tourist
PIADAS - Curtas, Loiras, Sogras...
THE BEST FUNNY JOKES!
Baby JOKE (1st joke of the minute)
Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.
they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little
Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's
parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say
about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before
to the neighbors.
He said "Now, son... that poor baby
was born without any ears. I want
you to be on your best behavior
and not say one word about his ears or
I am really going to spank
you when we get back home."
"I promise not to mention his ears at
all" said Little Johnny.
At the neighbors home, Little Johnny
leaned over in the crib and
touched the baby's hand. He looked at
it's mother and said "Oh What a
Beautiful little baby". The mother
said "Thank you very much, Little
said, "this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little
Why... just look at his pretty little eyes.... Did his doctor say
that he can see good?"
The Mother said "why, yes Johnny... his
doctor said he has 20/20
Little Johnny said "well,
its a darn good thing, cause he sure
couldn't wear glasses!!!
Religious JOKE (2nd joke of the minute)
This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it
own an equally
fundamentally Christian pet. So,
they went shopping.
At a kennel specializing in this particular breed,
they found a dog
liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog
to fetch the Bible, he did
in a flash. When they instructed
him to look up Psalm 23, he complied
equally fast, using his paws
with dexterity. They were impressed,
purchased the animal, and went
home (piously, of course).
That night they had friends over. They
were so proud of their new
fundamentalist dog and his major skills,
they called the dog and showed
off a little.
The friends were
impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do
usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they
hadn't thought about "normal" tricks.
Well, they said, "let's try this
Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounce
d the command,
Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put
his paw on the man's forehead,
closed his eyes in concentration, and
bowed his head.
- Humor is a universal language
( Sent by John)
- Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
( Sent by David)
- Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
( Sent by Robin)
- We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
( Sent by Will)
- Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
( Sent by Arnold)
- The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
( Sent by Bill)
- I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup.
( Sent by Margaret)
- Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self.
( Sent by Riley)
- Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for long time.
( Sent by Jan Neruda)
- Having a 'sense of humor' means that you are a funny person and make good jokes. All in all humor is comedy and funniness!
( Sent by Saffron)
- Have a better definition? Share it!