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CHILDREN JOKES!

children JOKES (random)

Ben's dad was building a pine bookshelf and Ben was watching and occasionally helping. ' What are the holes for ?' Ben asked. 'They're knot holes,' said his dad. 'What are they, then, if they're not holes ?' asked Ben.

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY children JOKES:

 1 - 'Mum, there's a man at the door collecting for the Old Folk's Home. Shall I give him Grandma ?'... More ››
 2 - A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in tu... More ››
 3 - Young Jimmy was having a snack after school with his Gran. ' Would you like another cookie ?' sh... More ››
 4 - John kept pestering his parents to buy a video, but they said they couldn't afford one. So one d... More ››
 5 - A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as... More ››
 6 - A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mo... More ››
 7 - A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow... More ››
 8 - On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little g... More ››
 9 - After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat... More ››
 10 - My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I h... More ››
 11 - On the first day at school the girls were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good... More ››
 12 - A little boy went into a baker's' 'How much are those cakes ? he asked 'Two for 25 cents,' sai... More ››
 13 - Ben's dad was building a pine bookshelf and Ben was watching and occasionally helping. ' What ar... More ››
 14 - A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last... More ››
 15 - The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature. 'How high is it, Doctor?' she wan... More ››
 16 - Father: You've got 4 D's and a C on your report. Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one... More ››
 17 - Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of the window? He wanted to see a waterfall.... More ››
 18 - Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.... More ››
 19 - A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. ' What's wrong ?' asked his mother. Do peopl... More ››
 20 - A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she re... More ››
 21 - Why were ancient Egyptian children confused? Because their daddies were mummies.... More ››
 22 - Why was the lightning bug unhappy? Because her children were not very bright.... More ››
 23 - The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards. "No mis" he replied... More ››
 24 - Tyler was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes a... More ››
 25 - On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The flor... More ››
 26 - Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having t... More ››
 27 - A little boy walked down the aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would take... More ››
 28 - One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over... More ››
 29 - A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a door... More ››
 30 - A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He m... More ››
 31 - A little girl was playing in the garden when she spied two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are... More ››
 32 - A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me... More ››
 33 - A whole family was caught in a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but t... More ››
 34 - A schoolteacher was trying to teach her six-year old class students how to say the pledge of a... More ››
 35 - A little kid is sitting on a park bench eating abag of chocolates an old man walking by stops to... More ››
 36 - A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"... More ››
 37 - Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures,... More ››
 38 - Young Vestal was walking in his Florida backyard when an alligator bit him. "Mama!" yelled t... More ››
 39 - Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said,' Well, you know t... More ››
 40 - Two boys camping out in a backyard wanted to know the time, so they began singing at the top of... More ››
 41 - Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table. ' Oh you're so stupid!' shouted... More ››
 42 - George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, 'c... More ››
 43 - An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after cl... More ››
 44 - Jennifer: Are you coming to my party ? Sandra: No, I ain't. Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss to... More ››
 45 - As two boys were passing the rectory, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball... More ››
 46 - A man out for a walk came across a little boy pulling his cat's tail. 'Hey you!' he shouted, '... More ››
 47 - Two girls were talking in the corridor. 'That boy over there is getting on my nerves,' said Clar... More ››
 48 - Mrs Smith, the biology teacher, was very fond of fish. She was also rather deaf, which was great... More ››
 49 - Mandy was applying for a summer job. 'How old are you?' asked the owner of the store. 'I'm twe... More ››
 50 - A certain little boy had been spanked by his father one morning. When his dad came in from the o... More ››
 51 - "What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?" asked the teacher, hoping that some... More ››
 52 - Eddie's father called up to him, 'Eddie, if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think I'll go... More ››
 53 - Mary arrived home from school covered in spots. 'Whatever's the matter ?' asked her mother. 'I... More ››
 54 - Grandma: You've left all your crusts, Mary. When I was your age I ate every one. Mary: Do you s... More ››
 55 - 'You boy !' called a policeman.' Can you help ? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose cal... More ››
 56 - Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to... More ››
 57 - 'Why are you crying, Ted ?' asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you h... More ››
 58 - Father: What did you learn in school today ? Son: That three and three are seven. Father: Three... More ››
 59 - Mother: I told you not eat cake before supper. Daughter: But, Mum, it's part of my homework. 'I... More ››
 60 - 'Mum,' yelled Johnny from the kitchen, 'you know that dish you were always worried that I would... More ››
 61 - 'William, I've been told that you have been fighting with the boys next door,' said mum. 'yes,... More ››
 62 - Son to his father as they watch television: "Dad, tell me again how when you were a kid you had... More ››
 63 - Did you hear about the two little boys who found themselves in a modern art gallery by mistake ?... More ››
 64 - Trevor: That's a cool pair of stockings you have on Jill. One red and one green. Jill: Yes, and... More ››
 65 - Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet ? Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the... More ››
 66 - Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak. Grandma: No, I don't think so. Why? Boy: Because Daddy s... More ››
 67 - Mum: Jackie, go outside and play with your whistle. Your father can't read his paper. Jackie: W... More ››
 68 - Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners. Son:But, Mum, I don't want three school... More ››
 69 - Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted ? Daughter: Well, the principal kept going... More ››
 70 - A little girl was next in line. 'My name's Curtain,' she said. 'I hope your first name is not A... More ››
 71 - Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ? Pupil: Yes, the... More ››
 72 - Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test? Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleve... More ››
 73 - What's the matter son? The boy next door said I look just like you? What did you say? Nothing h... More ››
 74 - Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps? Because she thought her children were all g... More ››
 75 - Mother: Let me see your report son. Son: Here it is, Mother, but don't show it to Dad. He's bee... More ››
 76 - I had a funny dream last night, Mom. Did you? I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I foun... More ››
 77 - Mum: How can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time ? Son: Easy. I... More ››
 78 - Teacher: "Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?" Student: "So we know when to start Christmas... More ››
 79 - Fred: Where does the new kid come from? Harry: Alaska. Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her mysel... More ››
 80 - Did you hear about the boy who wanted to run away to the circus ? He ended up in a flea circus... More ››
 81 - Did you hear about the boy who was known as Fog ? He was dense and wet !... More ››
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