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CHILDREN JOKES!

children JOKES (random)

A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the man moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the childs level, the man smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY children JOKES:

 1 - Young Jimmy was having a snack after school with his Gran. ' Would you like another cookie ?' sh... More ››
 2 - On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little g... More ››
 3 - A little boy went into a baker's' 'How much are those cakes ? he asked 'Two for 25 cents,' sai... More ››
 4 - 'Mum, there's a man at the door collecting for the Old Folk's Home. Shall I give him Grandma ?'... More ››
 5 - A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in tu... More ››
 6 - A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mo... More ››
 7 - John kept pestering his parents to buy a video, but they said they couldn't afford one. So one d... More ››
 8 - On the first day at school the girls were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good... More ››
 9 - A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as... More ››
 10 - A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she re... More ››
 11 - A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow... More ››
 12 - After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat... More ››
 13 - My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I h... More ››
 14 - Ben's dad was building a pine bookshelf and Ben was watching and occasionally helping. ' What ar... More ››
 15 - A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last... More ››
 16 - The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature. 'How high is it, Doctor?' she wan... More ››
 17 - Father: You've got 4 D's and a C on your report. Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one... More ››
 18 - Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of the window? He wanted to see a waterfall.... More ››
 19 - Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.... More ››
 20 - A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. ' What's wrong ?' asked his mother. Do peopl... More ››
 21 - Why were ancient Egyptian children confused? Because their daddies were mummies.... More ››
 22 - Why was the lightning bug unhappy? Because her children were not very bright.... More ››
 23 - The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards. "No mis" he replied... More ››
 24 - Tyler was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes a... More ››
 25 - On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The flor... More ››
 26 - Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having t... More ››
 27 - A little boy walked down the aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would take... More ››
 28 - One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over... More ››
 29 - A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a door... More ››
 30 - A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He m... More ››
 31 - A little girl was playing in the garden when she spied two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are... More ››
 32 - A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me... More ››
 33 - A whole family was caught in a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but t... More ››
 34 - A schoolteacher was trying to teach her six-year old class students how to say the pledge of a... More ››
 35 - A little kid is sitting on a park bench eating abag of chocolates an old man walking by stops to... More ››
 36 - A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"... More ››
 37 - Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures,... More ››
 38 - Young Vestal was walking in his Florida backyard when an alligator bit him. "Mama!" yelled t... More ››
 39 - Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said,' Well, you know t... More ››
 40 - Two boys camping out in a backyard wanted to know the time, so they began singing at the top of... More ››
 41 - Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table. ' Oh you're so stupid!' shouted... More ››
 42 - George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, 'c... More ››
 43 - An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after cl... More ››
 44 - Jennifer: Are you coming to my party ? Sandra: No, I ain't. Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss to... More ››
 45 - As two boys were passing the rectory, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball... More ››
 46 - A man out for a walk came across a little boy pulling his cat's tail. 'Hey you!' he shouted, '... More ››
 47 - Two girls were talking in the corridor. 'That boy over there is getting on my nerves,' said Clar... More ››
 48 - Mrs Smith, the biology teacher, was very fond of fish. She was also rather deaf, which was great... More ››
 49 - Mandy was applying for a summer job. 'How old are you?' asked the owner of the store. 'I'm twe... More ››
 50 - A certain little boy had been spanked by his father one morning. When his dad came in from the o... More ››
 51 - "What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?" asked the teacher, hoping that some... More ››
 52 - Eddie's father called up to him, 'Eddie, if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think I'll go... More ››
 53 - Mary arrived home from school covered in spots. 'Whatever's the matter ?' asked her mother. 'I... More ››
 54 - Grandma: You've left all your crusts, Mary. When I was your age I ate every one. Mary: Do you s... More ››
 55 - 'You boy !' called a policeman.' Can you help ? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose cal... More ››
 56 - Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to... More ››
 57 - 'Why are you crying, Ted ?' asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you h... More ››
 58 - Father: What did you learn in school today ? Son: That three and three are seven. Father: Three... More ››
 59 - Mother: I told you not eat cake before supper. Daughter: But, Mum, it's part of my homework. 'I... More ››
 60 - 'Mum,' yelled Johnny from the kitchen, 'you know that dish you were always worried that I would... More ››
 61 - 'William, I've been told that you have been fighting with the boys next door,' said mum. 'yes,... More ››
 62 - Son to his father as they watch television: "Dad, tell me again how when you were a kid you had... More ››
 63 - Did you hear about the two little boys who found themselves in a modern art gallery by mistake ?... More ››
 64 - Trevor: That's a cool pair of stockings you have on Jill. One red and one green. Jill: Yes, and... More ››
 65 - Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet ? Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the... More ››
 66 - Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak. Grandma: No, I don't think so. Why? Boy: Because Daddy s... More ››
 67 - Mum: Jackie, go outside and play with your whistle. Your father can't read his paper. Jackie: W... More ››
 68 - Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners. Son:But, Mum, I don't want three school... More ››
 69 - Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted ? Daughter: Well, the principal kept going... More ››
 70 - A little girl was next in line. 'My name's Curtain,' she said. 'I hope your first name is not A... More ››
 71 - Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ? Pupil: Yes, the... More ››
 72 - Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test? Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleve... More ››
 73 - What's the matter son? The boy next door said I look just like you? What did you say? Nothing h... More ››
 74 - Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps? Because she thought her children were all g... More ››
 75 - Mother: Let me see your report son. Son: Here it is, Mother, but don't show it to Dad. He's bee... More ››
 76 - I had a funny dream last night, Mom. Did you? I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I foun... More ››
 77 - Mum: How can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time ? Son: Easy. I... More ››
 78 - Teacher: "Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?" Student: "So we know when to start Christmas... More ››
 79 - Fred: Where does the new kid come from? Harry: Alaska. Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her mysel... More ››
 80 - Did you hear about the boy who wanted to run away to the circus ? He ended up in a flea circus... More ››
 81 - Did you hear about the boy who was known as Fog ? He was dense and wet !... More ››
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