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CLINTON JOKES!

clinton JOKES (random)

Clinton goes around telling people we humans are genetically 99.9% similar. Apparently the 0.1% is the character gene.

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY clinton JOKES:

 1 - Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an... More ››
 2 - President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board... More ››
 3 - One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. "George,... More ››
 4 - Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant! She is... More ››
 5 - During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local r... More ››
 6 - Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night... More ››
 7 - Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are travelin... More ››
 8 - Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On... More ››
 9 - One day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell... More ››
 10 - A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trai... More ››
 11 - Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress co... More ››
 12 - Q: How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane? A: He see... More ››
 13 - Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: He doesn't! He whines a while,... More ››
 14 - Q: How many Clinton administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two--o... More ››
 15 - President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary's room. She complains that... More ››
 16 - Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Imp... More ››
 17 - Q: What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the... More ››
 18 - Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess? A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really... More ››
 19 - Q: Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade? A: The first one held th... More ››
 20 - If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one... More ››
 21 - Q: Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to improving jails? A: Be... More ››
 22 - Q: Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin? A: So he could look u... More ››
 23 - Q: Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin? A: So he could look u... More ››
 24 - Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two--One to promise he'll do i... More ››
 25 - Q: If Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper took a boat ride and the boat capsized,... More ››
 26 - Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: B... More ››
 27 - Q: What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for? A: If you d... More ››
 28 - Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy? A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enoug... More ››
 29 - Q: Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school? A: If they sent her to a public s... More ››
 30 - Q: What were Bill and Chelsea Clinton doing in the voting booth? A: Bill was giving his daughte... More ››
 31 - Q: Why is Bill Clinton called "middle of the road Democrat"? A: Because he's got a wide yellow... More ››
 32 - Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: Jimmy Carter waited until a... More ››
 33 - What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I d... More ››
 34 - Q: Did you hear Chrysler is introducing a new car to commemorate President Clinton's election?... More ››
 35 - Q: Why can't Bill Clinton file a defamation of character suit against his critics? A: Because B... More ››
 36 - Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Bec... More ››
 37 - Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One--she just holds the bu... More ››
 38 - Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House? A: He keeps offering to send... More ››
 39 - Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: The... More ››
 40 - Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: It took Bill less than 100 d... More ››
 41 - Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying? A: Only a Bill Clinton supporter is too dumb to... More ››
 42 - Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big bus... More ››
 43 - Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Rea... More ››
 44 - Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his face? A: If his lips a... More ››
 45 - Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big busin... More ››
 46 - Q: How many Clinton White House officials does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They lik... More ››
 47 - Q: Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea's new private school? A: They broke family tradition by... More ››
 48 - Q: Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely? A: Because if something happens to her... More ››
 49 - Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? Because dad can't keep his pants on and... More ››
 50 - Q: How can you identify a computer that has been in use at the Clinton White House? A: There is... More ››
 51 - Clinton goes around telling people we humans are genetically 99.9% similar. Apparently the 0.1... More ››
 52 - Q: When did Clinton's friends become sure that he had political ambitions? A: When he married o... More ››
 53 - Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury? A:... More ››
 54 - Q: What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect? A: E... More ››
 55 - Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis? A: Elvis was drafted and served proud... More ››
 56 - In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton?" 86% replie... More ››
 57 - Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike? A: Both aren't as successful when they're... More ››
 58 - Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade re... More ››
 59 - Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years? A: Unite the Repu... More ››
 60 - Q: What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull? A: The pit bull doesn't carry... More ››
 61 - Q: How is Clinton's health care reform a lot like his haircut? A: It is a lot more expensive th... More ››
 62 - Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin's subjects a... More ››
 63 - Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin's subjects a... More ››
 64 - Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging arm... More ››
 65 - Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went t... More ››
 66 - Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child? A: Because lawyers use their personalities for birth... More ››
 67 - Q: What does Clinton have in common with his Hollywood pals? A: They all make a living by lying t... More ››
 68 - Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble? A: Jezebel and Lucretia... More ››
 69 - Q: Bill, Hillary, and Al are in a boat. The boat sinks. Who is saved? A: The United States of A... More ››
 70 - Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer? A. Chelsea... More ››
 71 - Q: What's the differents between Bill Clinton and an elephant? A: About 20 pounds and a jogging... More ››
 72 - Q: Why aren't Clinton White House staffers given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain... More ››
 73 - Q: What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common? A: Neither one is very br... More ››
 74 - Q: Why is Bill Clinton's economic plan called positively atheist? A: Because it hasn't got a pr... More ››
 75 - Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None--He'll only promise "chan... More ››
 76 - Q: If Bill and Hillary jumped together off the Washington monument, who'd land first? A: Who ca... More ››
 77 - Q: How can you tell when Clinton is ready for battle [in Bosnia]? A: He's got his jogging suit... More ››
 78 - Q: What do Clinton and JFK have in common? A: They haven't had any brains for the last thirty yea... More ››
 79 - Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh? A: Koresh only burned 85 people... More ››
 80 - How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet? They were both dating the same girl in high school... More ››
 81 - Q: What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up? A: "Good morning, Bill.... More ››
 82 - Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a container of yogurt? A: Yogurt has culture.... More ››
 83 - Q: Why did the IRS recently audit Bill Clinton? A: Because he filed as head of the household.... More ››
 84 - Q: Did you hear that the Clinton's had Air Force 1 remodeled? A: Now it's got two left wings.... More ››
 85 - Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with former great Presidents? A: Absolutely nothing.... More ››
 86 - Q: What's the best place to photograph Clinton Administration officials? A: A police lineup.... More ››
 87 - Q: Who would become President of the U.S.A if the President died? A: Bill Clinton of course!... More ››
 88 - Q: How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet? A: They were dating the same girl in high school.... More ››
 89 - Q: What happened when Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone? A: He turned into Hillary!... More ››
 90 - Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician? A: Chelsea.... More ››
 91 - Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore? A: Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.... More ››
 92 - Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier? A: To promote off-shore drilling.... More ››
 93 - Q: What was the real purpose of Bill's college visit to Moscow? A: To study economics.... More ››
 94 - Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies? A: He's the stiff one.... More ››
 95 - Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend.... More ››
 96 - Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow? A: By the wise look in the eyes.... More ››
 97 - Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax? A: Because they could spell it.... More ››
 98 - Q: Why is Clinton prone to losing his voice? A: He keeps having to eat his words.... More ››
 99 - Q: When will there be a woman in the White House? A: When Hillary leaves town.... More ››
 100 - Q: How did Bill Clinton get a crick in his neck? A: Trying to save both faces.... More ››
 101 - Q: Why does Clinton always have a stupid grin on his face? A: He is stupid!... More ››
 102 - Bill Clinton is writing his memoirs. They're called "The Johnson Years".... More ››
 103 - Q: What is the best thing that ever came out of Arkansas? A: Highway 55.... More ››
 104 - Q: What kind of neckwear does Hillary Clinton look best in? A: A noose.... More ››
 105 - Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to hurt you"? A: "Trust me."... More ››
 106 - Q: What does Clinton do to lose weight? A: Runs away from the draft.... More ››
 107 - Q: Why doesn't Bill like old houses? A: He's afraid of the draft.... More ››
 108 - Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear? To keep his ankles warm.... More ››
 109 - Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in? A: Handcuffs.... More ››
 110 - Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To tax the chicken.... More ››
 111 - Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To meet the chick.... More ››
 112 - Q: What's Clinton's favorite baseball team? A: The Dodgers.... More ››
 113 - Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity.... More ››
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