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HISTORY JOKES!

history JOKES (random)

Why does history keep repeating itself ? Because we weren't listening the first time !

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY history JOKES:

 1 - Why were the early days of history called the dark ages ? Because there were so many knights !... More ››
 2 - Who succeeded the first President of the USA ? The second one !... More ››
 3 - Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he s... More ››
 4 - When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ? He was afraid... More ››
 5 - Teacher: "What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?" Student: "Baseballs." Teach... More ››
 6 - Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia ? Must have been a duck family A duck family ? Didn'... More ››
 7 - "What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They... More ››
 8 - Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ? Because they didn't want to wait 40... More ››
 9 - What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ? They both have 'the' as their... More ››
 10 - What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate ? The registration of the car that r... More ››
 11 - How did you do in your tests ? I did what George Washington did ! What was that ? Went down i... More ››
 12 - Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter? Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a... More ››
 13 - The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon. How many galleons did the get to the mil... More ››
 14 - When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight ? When they had lots of sleepless knights !... More ››
 15 - When did Caesar reign ? I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him ?... More ››
 16 - Why did the Romans build straight roads ? So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !... More ››
 17 - "You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower." "Really? Which rat was he?"... More ››
 18 - Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving? They wanted another excuse to watch football.... More ››
 19 - Do you know the 20th President of the United States ? No, we were never introduced !... More ››
 20 - Why does history keep repeating itself ? Because we weren't listening the first time !... More ››
 21 - What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne ? Sat down !... More ››
 22 - I'm learning ancient history ? So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times !... More ››
 23 - What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old ? A year older on his birthday !... More ››
 24 - You've failed history again ! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !... More ››
 25 - If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas ? His wife !... More ››
 26 - What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark? A knight light... More ››
 27 - What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans ? Speaking Latin !... More ››
 28 - What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ? I don't know, I wasn't invited !... More ››
 29 - What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies.... More ››
 30 - Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ? On their feet !... More ››
 31 - What do history teachers make when they want to get together ? Dates !... More ››
 32 - What did Caesar say to Cleopatra ? Toga-ether we can rule the world !... More ››
 33 - What did Paul Revere say when he got on his horse? Giddy up horsey !... More ››
 34 - Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ? He liked to chop and change !... More ››
 35 - My teacher reminds me of history She's always repeating herself !... More ››
 36 - How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships ? With their eyes shut !... More ››
 37 - Why did Arthur have a round table ? So no one could corner him !... More ››
 38 - What famous chiropodist ruled England ? William the Corn-cutter!... More ››
 39 - What English King invented the fireplace ? Alfred the grate !... More ››
 40 - Who invented King Arthur's round table ? Sir Circumference !... More ››
 41 - What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving? He gave tanks.... More ››
 42 - What was King Arthur's favourite game ? Knights and crosses !... More ››
 43 - What was Camelot ? A place where people parked their camels !... More ››
 44 - Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ? He wanted Mark Antony !... More ››
 45 - Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!... More ››
 46 - Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince ? Old King Coal !... More ››
 47 - Where was the Magna Carta signed ? At the bottom !... More ››
 48 - What was Camelot famous for ? It's knight life !... More ››
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