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INSECT JOKES!

insect JOKES (random)

What did the worm say to the other when he was late home ? Where in earth have you been !

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY insect JOKES:

 1 - What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ? I'm not sure, but if you see one walkin... More ››
 2 - What did one centipede say to the other centipede ? You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've go... More ››
 3 - One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. "But why... More ››
 4 - A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a saloon, drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He... More ››
 5 - Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? A: "Dead ant, Dead Ant ... Dead ant... More ››
 6 - Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet ? "Why are we running so fast ?" said... More ››
 7 - Boy: What's the biggest ant in the world? Girl: My Aunt Boy: No, it's an elephant. Girl: Yo... More ››
 8 - If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player ?... More ››
 9 - What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and t... More ››
 10 - What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and t... More ››
 11 - Surveyor: This house is a ruin. I wonder what stops it from falling down. Owner: I think the w... More ››
 12 - Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? - A: Should we walk... More ››
 13 - What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ? Your spi... More ››
 14 - Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw a drunken man. One said to the other, "You bit... More ››
 15 - What is the difference between an elephant and a flea? An elephant can have fleas but a flea ca... More ››
 16 - A mother moth was telling her baby moth off saying, "If you don't eat all your cotton, you won't... More ››
 17 - What is the difference between a flea and a wolf ? One prowls on the hairy and the other howls... More ››
 18 - Why did the firefly keep stealing things ? What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ? A firefly with a... More ››
 19 - What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ? An insect who can find its way around a dar... More ››
 20 - What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly? An insect that can find its way around a d... More ››
 21 - What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ? If one bit you, you could ride it to ho... More ››
 22 - First Caribou: What well-known cartoon character do moths like a hole lot? Second Caribou: Mick... More ››
 23 - What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple ? Worm your way out of that... More ››
 24 - What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ? I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smellin... More ››
 25 - Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ? He took too long to put his boots... More ››
 26 - What does a bee say before it stings you ? This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts yo... More ››
 27 - Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ? Because everyone had to go on in pairs... More ››
 28 - What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ? It became a daddy short legs... More ››
 29 - What is the most faithful insect ? A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them... More ››
 30 - How can you tell which end of a worm is which ? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs... More ››
 31 - Why was the centipede late ? Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother !... More ››
 32 - One woodworm met another. "How's life?" she asked. "Oh, same as usual," he replied, "boring."... More ››
 33 - What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ? A bee in a submarine !... More ››
 34 - How do we know that insects are so clever ? Because they always know when your eating outside !... More ››
 35 - What did the maggot say to another ? What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !... More ››
 36 - What did the spider say to the fly ? We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing ?... More ››
 37 - First Caribou: What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind? Second Caribou: A maybee.... More ››
 38 - Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War ? Robert E Flea !... More ››
 39 - First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.... More ››
 40 - Why did the bees go on strike ? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !... More ››
 41 - Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees ? Because they kept droning on and on !... More ››
 42 - What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ? Enough drumsticks to feed an army !... More ››
 43 - Why don't other bugs like earwigs ? Because they are always earwigging their conversations !... More ››
 44 - What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ? Very big worm holes in your garden !... More ››
 45 - What did one flea say to the other after a night out ? Shall we walk home or take a dog ?... More ››
 46 - What did the worm say to the other when he was late home ? Where in earth have you been !... More ››
 47 - Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito? Because an itch in time saves nine.... More ››
 48 - What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly ? Try sewing buttons on a mosquito !... More ››
 49 - How do stones stop moths eating your clothes ? Because rolling stones gather no moths !... More ››
 50 - What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema? Fancy a bite?... More ››
 51 - What is black and yellow and buzzes along at 30,000 feet ? A bee is an aeroplane !... More ››
 52 - What is worse than an alligator with toothache ? A centipede with athlete's foot !... More ››
 53 - How do you know if you have a tough mosquito ? You slap him and he slaps you back !... More ››
 54 - How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ? it has a blue light !... More ››
 55 - Why were the flies playing football in saucer ? They where playing for the cup !... More ››
 56 - What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ? The Masked-quito !... More ››
 57 - QUESTION: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? ANSWER: Milk and honey.... More ››
 58 - What are ants called when they run away very fast to get married? Ant-elopers.... More ››
 59 - Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ? He wanted to see the floor show !... More ››
 60 - What do bees do if they want to use public transport ? Wait at a buzz stop !... More ››
 61 - How do you make a glow worm happy ? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted !... More ››
 62 - Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest? Because she was a litter bug.... More ››
 63 - How do you make a butterfly ? Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife !... More ››
 64 - How do you spot a modern spider ? He doesn't have a web he had a website !... More ››
 65 - First Caribou: Which bug gobbles up trash? Second Caribou: The litterbug.... More ››
 66 - Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ? They can lighten your load !... More ››
 67 - What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him ? He's bee-witched !... More ››
 68 - What happened to the man who turned into an insect ? He just beetled off !... More ››
 69 - Why was the glow worm unhappy ? Because her children weren't that bright !... More ››
 70 - What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk ? A centipede with a wooden leg !... More ››
 71 - What's a glow worms favourite song ? Wake me up before you glow glow !... More ››
 72 - What is a flea's favourite book ? The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy !... More ››
 73 - What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer ? Light ale !... More ››
 74 - What did the woodworm say to the chair ? It's been nice gnawing you !... More ››
 75 - Can bees fly in the rain ? Not without their little yellow jackets !... More ››
 76 - What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ? A dirty kid !... More ››
 77 - If a flea and a fly pass each other what time is it? Fly past flea.... More ››
 78 - What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell? A hum dinger !... More ››
 79 - Why was the moth so unpopular ? He kept picking holes in everything !... More ››
 80 - What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day ? Turns over a new leaf !... More ››
 81 - Why did the spider buy a car ? So he could take it out for a spin !... More ››
 82 - What's black, yellow and covered in blackberries ? A bramble bee !... More ››
 83 - What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ? A firefly with a short circuit !... More ››
 84 - Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies !... More ››
 85 - What is a bee's favourite classical music composer ? Bee-thoven !... More ››
 86 - What's more dangerous than being with a fool ? Fooling with a bee !... More ››
 87 - What did the bee to the other bee in summer ? Swarm here isn't it !... More ››
 88 - What's a bee-line ? The shortest distance between two buzz-stops !... More ››
 89 - How do you find where a flea has bitten you ? Start from scratch !... More ››
 90 - What does a spider do when he gets angry ? He goes up the wall !... More ››
 91 - What does a queen bee do when she burps ? Issues a royal pardon !... More ››
 92 - Q: What kind of suit does a bee wear to work? A: A buzzness suit!... More ››
 93 - What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee? A humdinger.... More ››
 94 - What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ? Bugs Bunny !... More ››
 95 - Why did the bee started talking poetry ? He was waxing lyrical !... More ››
 96 - What is the definition of a caterpillar ? A worm in a fur coat !... More ››
 97 - What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs ? Ear we go !... More ››
 98 - Why do worms taste like chewing gum ? Because they're wrigleys !... More ››
 99 - What did the bee say to the naughty bee ? Bee-hive yourself !... More ››
 100 - What did the spider say when he broke his new web ? Darn it !... More ››
 101 - Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin.... More ››
 102 - What did the spider say to the bee ? Your honey or your life !... More ››
 103 - What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry ? An aero-drone !... More ››
 104 - Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ? To improve his bite !... More ››
 105 - What insect lives on nothing ? A moth, because it eats holes... More ››
 106 - What do you call a grasshopper with no legs ? A grasshover !... More ››
 107 - What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes? A bite-time story.... More ››
 108 - Why do bees have sticky hair ? Beacuse of the honey combs !... More ››
 109 - What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre ? A spinning wheel !... More ››
 110 - What insect lives on nothing? A moth, because it eats holes.... More ››
 111 - What is red and dangerous ? Strawberry and tarantula jelly !... More ››
 112 - What is the wasps' favorite song? Just a Spoonful of Sugar.... More ››
 113 - What do you call an ant with frog's legs? An antphibian.... More ››
 114 - Where would you put an injured insect ? In an antbulance !... More ››
 115 - What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code ? A morese-quito !... More ››
 116 - What is a spiders favourite TV show ? The newly web game !... More ››
 117 - How can you make a moth ball ? Hit it with a fly swatter.... More ››
 118 - How does a queen bee get around her hive ? She's throne !... More ››
 119 - What did one firefly say to the other ? Got to glow now !... More ››
 120 - How do you make a moth bawl? Hit him with a fly swatter.... More ››
 121 - What kind of bees hum and drop things ? A fumble bee !... More ››
 122 - Why do bees hum ? Because they've forgotten the words !... More ››
 123 - Why are spiders good swimmers ? They have webbed feet !... More ››
 124 - What do you call a big irish spider ? Paddy long legs !... More ››
 125 - What did the confused bee say ? To bee or not to bee !... More ››
 126 - How many bees do you need in a bee choir ? A humdred !... More ››
 127 - What kind of doctors are like spiders ? Spin doctors !... More ››
 128 - Why are spiders like tops ? They are always spinning !... More ››
 129 - How do fireflies start a race? Ready, steady, glow!... More ››
 130 - What kind of bee can't be understood ? A mumble bee !... More ››
 131 - How do you start an insect race ? One, two, flea - go... More ››
 132 - What pillar doesn't need holding up ? A caterpillar !... More ››
 133 - What is the biggest ant in the world ? An elephant !... More ››
 134 - Who writes books for little bees ? Bee-trix Potter !... More ››
 135 - Who is the bees favourite pop group ? The bee gees !... More ››
 136 - What's a bees favourite novel ? The Great Gats-bee !... More ››
 137 - What is a mosquito's favourite sport ? Skin-diving !... More ››
 138 - What is the most religious insect ? A mosque-ito !... More ››
 139 - What's the biggest moth in the world ? A mammoth !... More ››
 140 - What kind of bugs bother sporting dogs? Ath-fleats!... More ››
 141 - Who is a bee's favourite painter ? Pablo Beecasso !... More ››
 142 - How do fireflies start a race ? Ready steady glow !... More ››
 143 - What has 50 legs but cant walk ? Half a centipede !... More ››
 144 - What did the bee say to the flower ? Hello honey !... More ››
 145 - What to you call a Russian flea ? A Moscow-ito !... More ››
 146 - What has antlers and sucks blood ? A moose-quito !... More ››
 147 - What do you call a scruffy, lazy ant? Decadant.... More ››
 148 - How do fireflies lose weight? They burn calories.... More ››
 149 - What goes hum-choo, hum choo? A bee with a cold !... More ››
 150 - Where do bees keep their money ? In a honey box !... More ››
 151 - Which fly captured the ladybird? The dragon-fly.... More ››
 152 - What has four wheels and flies ? A rubbish bin !... More ››
 153 - What bee is good for your health ? Vitamin bee !... More ››
 154 - What does a bee get at McDonalds ? A humburger !... More ››
 155 - What does the bee Santa Claus say ? Ho hum hum !... More ››
 156 - What insect runs away from everything ? A flee !... More ››
 157 - Why are mosquitos religious ? They prey on you !... More ››
 158 - What does a cat go to sleep on ? A caterpillow !... More ››
 159 - What's a bees favourite flower ? A bee-gonias !... More ››
 160 - What goes zzub, zzub ? A bee flying backwards !... More ››
 161 - Why do bees buzz ? Because they can't whistle !... More ››
 162 - What TV station do bees watch ? Bee bee c one!... More ››
 163 - What do insects learn at school ? Mothmatics !... More ››
 164 - What are the cleverest bees ? Spelling bees !... More ››
 165 - What is the bees favourite film ? The Sting !... More ››
 166 - What makes a glow worm glow ? A light meal !... More ››
 167 - What is life like for a wood worm ? Boring !... More ››
 168 - What are spiders webs good for ? Spiders !... More ››
 169 - Where do you take a sick wasp? To waspital.... More ››
 170 - Who is the bees favourite singer ? Sting !... More ››
 171 - Where do bees go on holiday ? Stingapore !... More ››
 172 - Which fly makes films ? Stephen Speilbug !... More ››
 173 - What kind of wig can hear ? An earwig !... More ››
 174 - What lives in gum trees ? Stick insects !... More ››
 175 - What do you call a stupid ant? Antwerp.... More ››
 176 - What is a baby bee ? A little humbug !... More ››
 177 - How do fleas travel ? Itch hiking !... More ››
 178 - What do bees chew ? Bumble gum !... More ››
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