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Random Insect Jokes!

Who is the bees favourite singer ? Sting !


 
     
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The Best Insect Jokes:
1) What did one centipede say to the other centipede ? You've got a lovely pair of... Read On »
2) One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to spee... Read On »
3) A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a saloon, drank three whiskeys and jumpe... Read On »
4) Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? A: "Dead ant, Dead A... Read On »
5) What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ? I'm not sure, but if you... Read On »
6) Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet ? "Why are we running... Read On »
7) Boy: What's the biggest ant in the world? Girl: My Aunt Boy: No, it's an eleph... Read On »
8) If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Foo... Read On »
9) What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones goin... Read On »
10) What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones goin... Read On »
11) Surveyor: This house is a ruin. I wonder what stops it from falling down. Owner... Read On »
12) Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? - A:... Read On »
13) What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was l... Read On »
14) Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw a drunken man. One said to the... Read On »
15) What is the difference between an elephant and a flea? An elephant can have flea... Read On »
16) A mother moth was telling her baby moth off saying, "If you don't eat all your co... Read On »
17) What is the difference between a flea and a wolf ? One prowls on the hairy and t... Read On »
18) Why did the firefly keep stealing things ? What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ? A... Read On »
19) What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ? An insect who can find its w... Read On »
20) What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly? An insect that can find its... Read On »
21) What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ? If one bit you, you coul... Read On »
22) First Caribou: What well-known cartoon character do moths like a hole lot? Secon... Read On »
23) What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple ? Worm your... Read On »
24) What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ? I'm not sure, but I would... Read On »
25) Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ? He took too long t... Read On »
26) What does a bee say before it stings you ? This is going to hurt me a lot more t... Read On »
27) Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ? Because everyone had to... Read On »
28) What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ? It became a d... Read On »
29) What is the most faithful insect ? A flea, once they find someone they like they... Read On »
30) How can you tell which end of a worm is which ? Tickle it in the middle and see wh... Read On »
31) Why was the centipede late ? Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his b... Read On »
32) One woodworm met another. "How's life?" she asked. "Oh, same as usual," he repl... Read On »
33) What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ? A bee in... Read On »
34) How do we know that insects are so clever ? Because they always know when your eat... Read On »
35) What did the maggot say to another ? What's a nice maggot like you doing in a join... Read On »
36) What did the spider say to the fly ? We're getting married do you want to come to... Read On »
37) First Caribou: What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind? Second Caribo... Read On »
38) Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War ? Rob... Read On »
39) First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel B... Read On »
40) Why did the bees go on strike ? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working... Read On »
41) Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees ? Because they kept droning o... Read On »
42) What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ? Enough drumsticks to feed... Read On »
43) Why don't other bugs like earwigs ? Because they are always earwigging their conve... Read On »
44) What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ? Very big worm holes in you... Read On »
45) What did one flea say to the other after a night out ? Shall we walk home or tak... Read On »
46) What did the worm say to the other when he was late home ? Where in earth have y... Read On »
47) Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito? Because an itch in time sa... Read On »
48) What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly ? Try sewing buttons on a mo... Read On »
49) How do stones stop moths eating your clothes ? Because rolling stones gather no... Read On »
50) What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema? Fancy a b... Read On »
51) What is black and yellow and buzzes along at 30,000 feet ? A bee is an aeroplane... Read On »
52) What is worse than an alligator with toothache ? A centipede with athlete's foot... Read On »
53) How do you know if you have a tough mosquito ? You slap him and he slaps you back... Read On »
54) How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ? it has a blue light... Read On »
55) Why were the flies playing football in saucer ? They where playing for the cup !... Read On »
56) What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ? The Masked-quito !... Read On »
57) QUESTION: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? ANSWER: Milk and honey.... Read On »
58) What are ants called when they run away very fast to get married? Ant-elopers.... Read On »
59) Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ? He wanted to see the floor show !... Read On »
60) What do bees do if they want to use public transport ? Wait at a buzz stop !... Read On »
61) How do you make a glow worm happy ? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted !... Read On »
62) Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest? Because she was a litter bug.... Read On »
63) How do you make a butterfly ? Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife !... Read On »
64) How do you spot a modern spider ? He doesn't have a web he had a website !... Read On »
65) First Caribou: Which bug gobbles up trash? Second Caribou: The litterbug.... Read On »
66) Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ? They can lighten your load !... Read On »
67) What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him ? He's bee-witched !... Read On »
68) What happened to the man who turned into an insect ? He just beetled off !... Read On »
69) Why was the glow worm unhappy ? Because her children weren't that bright !... Read On »
70) What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk ? A centipede with a wooden leg !... Read On »
71) What's a glow worms favourite song ? Wake me up before you glow glow !... Read On »
72) What is a flea's favourite book ? The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy !... Read On »
73) What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer ? Light ale !... Read On »
74) What did the woodworm say to the chair ? It's been nice gnawing you !... Read On »
75) Can bees fly in the rain ? Not without their little yellow jackets !... Read On »
76) What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ? A dirty kid !... Read On »
77) If a flea and a fly pass each other what time is it? Fly past flea.... Read On »
78) What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell? A hum dinger !... Read On »
79) Why was the moth so unpopular ? He kept picking holes in everything !... Read On »
80) What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day ? Turns over a new leaf !... Read On »
81) Why did the spider buy a car ? So he could take it out for a spin !... Read On »
82) What's black, yellow and covered in blackberries ? A bramble bee !... Read On »
83) What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ? A firefly with a short circuit !... Read On »
84) Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies !... Read On »
85) What is a bee's favourite classical music composer ? Bee-thoven !... Read On »
86) What's more dangerous than being with a fool ? Fooling with a bee !... Read On »
87) What did the bee to the other bee in summer ? Swarm here isn't it !... Read On »
88) What's a bee-line ? The shortest distance between two buzz-stops !... Read On »
89) How do you find where a flea has bitten you ? Start from scratch !... Read On »
90) What does a spider do when he gets angry ? He goes up the wall !... Read On »
91) What does a queen bee do when she burps ? Issues a royal pardon !... Read On »
92) Q: What kind of suit does a bee wear to work? A: A buzzness suit!... Read On »
93) What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee? A humdinger.... Read On »
94) What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ? Bugs Bunny !... Read On »
95) Why did the bee started talking poetry ? He was waxing lyrical !... Read On »
96) What is the definition of a caterpillar ? A worm in a fur coat !... Read On »
97) What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs ? Ear we go !... Read On »
98) Why do worms taste like chewing gum ? Because they're wrigleys !... Read On »
99) What did the bee say to the naughty bee ? Bee-hive yourself !... Read On »
100) What did the spider say when he broke his new web ? Darn it !... Read On »
101) Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin.... Read On »
102) What did the spider say to the bee ? Your honey or your life !... Read On »
103) What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry ? An aero-drone !... Read On »
104) Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ? To improve his bite !... Read On »
105) What insect lives on nothing ? A moth, because it eats holes... Read On »
106) What do you call a grasshopper with no legs ? A grasshover !... Read On »
107) What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes? A bite-time story.... Read On »
108) Why do bees have sticky hair ? Beacuse of the honey combs !... Read On »
109) What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre ? A spinning wheel !... Read On »
110) What insect lives on nothing? A moth, because it eats holes.... Read On »
111) What is red and dangerous ? Strawberry and tarantula jelly !... Read On »
112) What is the wasps' favorite song? Just a Spoonful of Sugar.... Read On »
113) What do you call an ant with frog's legs? An antphibian.... Read On »
114) Where would you put an injured insect ? In an antbulance !... Read On »
115) What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code ? A morese-quito !... Read On »
116) What is a spiders favourite TV show ? The newly web game !... Read On »
117) How can you make a moth ball ? Hit it with a fly swatter.... Read On »
118) How does a queen bee get around her hive ? She's throne !... Read On »
119) What did one firefly say to the other ? Got to glow now !... Read On »
120) How do you make a moth bawl? Hit him with a fly swatter.... Read On »
121) What kind of bees hum and drop things ? A fumble bee !... Read On »
122) Why do bees hum ? Because they've forgotten the words !... Read On »
123) Why are spiders good swimmers ? They have webbed feet !... Read On »
124) What do you call a big irish spider ? Paddy long legs !... Read On »
125) What did the confused bee say ? To bee or not to bee !... Read On »
126) How many bees do you need in a bee choir ? A humdred !... Read On »
127) What kind of doctors are like spiders ? Spin doctors !... Read On »
128) Why are spiders like tops ? They are always spinning !... Read On »
129) How do fireflies start a race? Ready, steady, glow!... Read On »
130) What kind of bee can't be understood ? A mumble bee !... Read On »
131) How do you start an insect race ? One, two, flea - go... Read On »
132) What pillar doesn't need holding up ? A caterpillar !... Read On »
133) What is the biggest ant in the world ? An elephant !... Read On »
134) Who writes books for little bees ? Bee-trix Potter !... Read On »
135) Who is the bees favourite pop group ? The bee gees !... Read On »
136) What's a bees favourite novel ? The Great Gats-bee !... Read On »
137) What is a mosquito's favourite sport ? Skin-diving !... Read On »
138) What is the most religious insect ? A mosque-ito !... Read On »
139) What's the biggest moth in the world ? A mammoth !... Read On »
140) What kind of bugs bother sporting dogs? Ath-fleats!... Read On »
141) Who is a bee's favourite painter ? Pablo Beecasso !... Read On »
142) How do fireflies start a race ? Ready steady glow !... Read On »
143) What has 50 legs but cant walk ? Half a centipede !... Read On »
144) What did the bee say to the flower ? Hello honey !... Read On »
145) What to you call a Russian flea ? A Moscow-ito !... Read On »
146) What has antlers and sucks blood ? A moose-quito !... Read On »
147) What do you call a scruffy, lazy ant? Decadant.... Read On »
148) How do fireflies lose weight? They burn calories.... Read On »
149) What goes hum-choo, hum choo? A bee with a cold !... Read On »
150) Where do bees keep their money ? In a honey box !... Read On »
151) Which fly captured the ladybird? The dragon-fly.... Read On »
152) What has four wheels and flies ? A rubbish bin !... Read On »
153) What bee is good for your health ? Vitamin bee !... Read On »
154) What does a bee get at McDonalds ? A humburger !... Read On »
155) What does the bee Santa Claus say ? Ho hum hum !... Read On »
156) What insect runs away from everything ? A flee !... Read On »
157) Why are mosquitos religious ? They prey on you !... Read On »
158) What does a cat go to sleep on ? A caterpillow !... Read On »
159) What's a bees favourite flower ? A bee-gonias !... Read On »
160) What goes zzub, zzub ? A bee flying backwards !... Read On »
161) Why do bees buzz ? Because they can't whistle !... Read On »
162) What TV station do bees watch ? Bee bee c one!... Read On »
163) What do insects learn at school ? Mothmatics !... Read On »
164) What are the cleverest bees ? Spelling bees !... Read On »
165) What is the bees favourite film ? The Sting !... Read On »
166) What makes a glow worm glow ? A light meal !... Read On »
167) What is life like for a wood worm ? Boring !... Read On »
168) What are spiders webs good for ? Spiders !... Read On »
169) Where do you take a sick wasp? To waspital.... Read On »
170) Who is the bees favourite singer ? Sting !... Read On »
171) Where do bees go on holiday ? Stingapore !... Read On »
172) Which fly makes films ? Stephen Speilbug !... Read On »
173) What kind of wig can hear ? An earwig !... Read On »
174) What lives in gum trees ? Stick insects !... Read On »
175) What do you call a stupid ant? Antwerp.... Read On »
176) What is a baby bee ? A little humbug !... Read On »
177) How to fleas travel ? Itch hiking !... Read On »
178) How to fleas travel ? Itch hiking !... Read On »
179) What do bees chew ? Bumble gum !... Read On »
180) Why did the fly fly ?... Read On »

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