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The Best Insect Jokes: |
| 1) What did one centipede say to the other
centipede ?
You've g... Show more |
| 2) One ant was running across an unopened box of
crackers and ur... Show more |
| 3) A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a
saloon, drank thre... Show more |
| 4) Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he
stepped on an ant?... Show more |
| 5) What do you get if you cross a spider and an
elephant ?
I'm... Show more |
| 6) Two fleas where running across the top of a
cereal
packet ?... Show more |
| 7) Boy: What's the biggest ant in the
world?
Girl: My Aunt
Bo... Show more |
| 8) If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you
know which one... Show more |
| 9) What is the difference between a flea bitten
dog and a bored... Show more |
| 10) What is the difference between a flea bitten
dog and a
bored... Show more |
| 11) Surveyor: This house is a ruin. I wonder
what stops it from f... Show more |
| 12) Q: What did one flea say to the other flea
when they came out... Show more |
| 13) What did the wife spider say to her
husband
when he tried to... Show more |
| 14) Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw
a
drunken man... Show more |
| 15) What is the difference
between an elephant
and a flea?
An el... Show more |
| 16) A mother moth was telling her baby moth off
saying, "If you d... Show more |
| 17) What is the difference between a flea and a
wolf
?
One prowl... Show more |
| 18) Why did the firefly keep stealing things
?
What goes "snap, cr... Show more |
| 19) What do you get if you cross a firefly
and
a moth ?
An insec... Show more |
| 20) What do you get if you cross a moth with a
firefly?
An inse... Show more |
| 21) What would happen if tarantulas were as big as
horses ?
If o... Show more |
| 22) First Caribou:
What well-known cartoon
character do moths lik... Show more |
| 23) What did the maggot say to his friend when he
got stuck
in an... Show more |
| 24) What do you get if you cross a
tarantula
with a rose ?
I'm n... Show more |
| 25) Why was the centipede dropped from the insect
football team ?... Show more |
| 26) What does a bee say before it
stings you
?
This is going to... Show more |
| 27) Why didn't the two worms get on
Noah's
Ark in an apple ?
Bec... Show more |
| 28) What happened when the chef found a daddy long
legs in the
sa... Show more |
| 29) What is the most faithful
insect ?
A
flea, once they find so... Show more |
| 30) How can you tell which end of a worm is which
?
Tickle it in t... Show more |
| 31) Why was the centipede late ?
Because he was
playing "This litt... Show more |
| 32) One woodworm met another. "How's life?" she
asked.
"Oh, sam... Show more |
| 33) What buzzes, is black and
yellow and goes
along the bottom of... Show more |
| 34) How do we know that insects are so clever
?
Because they alway... Show more |
| 35) What did the maggot say to another ?
What's
a nice maggot like... Show more |
| 36) What did the spider say to the fly ?
We're
getting married do... Show more |
| 37) First Caribou: What do
you call a bee that
can't make up his... Show more |
| 38) Who rode a dog and was a confederate general
during the Ameri... Show more |
| 39) First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor
cycle
stunts?
Se... Show more |
| 40) Why did the bees go on strike ?
Because they
wanted more honey... Show more |
| 41) Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other
bees ?
Because... Show more |
| 42) What do you get if you cross a centipede and a
chicken ?
Enoug... Show more |
| 43) Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?
Because
they are always ea... Show more |
| 44) What do you get if you cross a worm
and an
elephant ?
Very b... Show more |
| 45) What did one flea say
to the other after a
night out ?
Shall... Show more |
| 46) What did the worm say to the other when he was
late home ?
W... Show more |
| 47) Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one
mosquito?
Becaus... Show more |
| 48) What is the difference between a
mosquito
and a fly ?
Try se... Show more |
| 49) How do stones
stop moths eating your
clothes ?
Because rolli... Show more |
| 50) What did one mosquito say to
another when
they came out of th... Show more |
| 51) What is black and yellow and buzzes along at
30,000 feet ?
A... Show more |
| 52) What is worse than an
alligator with
toothache ?
A centipede... Show more |
| 53) How do you know if you have a tough mosquito
?
You slap him an... Show more |
| 54) How can you tell if you are looking at
a
police glow worm ?... Show more |
| 55) Why were the
flies playing football in
saucer ?
They where p... Show more |
| 56) What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger
with
an insect ?... Show more |
| 57) QUESTION: What do you get from a bee
that
has an udder?
ANS... Show more |
| 58) What are ants called when they run away very
fast to get
marr... Show more |
| 59) Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet
?
He wanted to se... Show more |
| 60) What do bees do if they want to use public
transport ?
Wait... Show more |
| 61) How do you make a
glow worm happy ?
Cut
off his tail, he'll... Show more |
| 62) Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest?
Because she wa... Show more |
| 63) How do you make a butterfly ?
Flick it out
of the butter dish... Show more |
| 64) How do
you spot a modern spider ?
He
doesn't have a web he h... Show more |
| 65) First Caribou: Which bug gobbles up
trash?
Second Caribou: T... Show more |
| 66) Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag
?
They can lighte... Show more |
| 67) What do you call a bee who's had a spell put
on him ?
He's b... Show more |
| 68) What happened to the man who turned into an
insect ?
He just b... Show more |
| 69) Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her
children weren't t... Show more |
| 70) What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk ?
A
centipede with a wo... Show more |
| 71) What's a glow worms
favourite song
?
Wake me up before you g... Show more |
| 72) What is a flea's favourite book ?
The
itch-hikers guide to the... Show more |
| 73) What do you get if you
cross a glow worm
with some beer ?
Li... Show more |
| 74) What did
the woodworm say to the chair
?
It's been nice gnaw... Show more |
| 75) Can bees fly in
the rain ?
Not without
their little yellow j... Show more |
| 76) What do you get if you cross a worm and a young
goat ?
A dir... Show more |
| 77) If a flea and a
fly pass each other what
time is it?
Fly pa... Show more |
| 78) What do you get if you cross a bee with a door
bell?
A hum d... Show more |
| 79) Why was the moth so unpopular ?
He kept
picking holes in every... Show more |
| 80) What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day
?
Turns over a new... Show more |
| 81) Why did the spider
buy a car ?
So he
could take it out for a... Show more |
| 82) What's black, yellow and covered in
blackberries ?
A bramble... Show more |
| 83) What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ?
A
firefly with a short cir... Show more |
| 84) Why don't anteaters get sick?
Because
they're full of anty-bo... Show more |
| 85) What is a bee's favourite classical music
composer ?
Bee-tho... Show more |
| 86) What's more dangerous than being with a fool
?
Fooling with a... Show more |
| 87) What did the bee to the other bee in summer
?
Swarm here isn't... Show more |
| 88) What's a bee-line ?
The shortest distance
between two buzz-sto... Show more |
| 89) How do you find where a flea has bitten you
?
Start from scrat... Show more |
| 90) What does a spider do when he
gets angry
?
He goes up the wa... Show more |
| 91) What does a queen bee do when she burps
?
Issues a royal pardo... Show more |
| 92) Q: What kind of suit does a bee wear to
work?
A: A buzzness su... Show more |
| 93) What do you get when you cross a bell with a
bee?
A humding... Show more |
| 94) What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a
flea ?
Bugs Bunn... Show more |
| 95) Why did the bee started talking poetry ?
He
was waxing lyrical... Show more |
| 96) What is the definition of a caterpillar ?
A
worm in a fur coat... Show more |
| 97) What did the earwig say as it fell down the
stairs ?
Ear we go... Show more |
| 98) Why do worms taste like chewing gum
?
Because they're wrigleys... Show more |
| 99) What
did the bee say to the naughty bee
?
Bee-hive yourself... Show more |
| 100) What did the spider say when he broke his new
web ?
Darn it... Show more |
| 101) Why are mosquitoes annoying?
Because they
get under your skin... Show more |
| 102) What did the spider say to the bee ?
Your
honey or your life !... Show more |
| 103) What kind of
bee can keep an aeroplane dry
?
An aero-drone !... Show more |
| 104) Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?
To
improve his bite !... Show more |
| 105) What insect lives on
nothing ?
A moth,
because it eats holes... Show more |
| 106) What do you call a grasshopper
with no legs
?
A grasshover !... Show more |
| 107) What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes?
A bite-time story.... Show more |
| 108) Why do
bees have sticky hair ?
Beacuse
of the honey combs !... Show more |
| 109) What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre ?
A
spinning wheel !... Show more |
| 110) What insect lives on nothing?
A moth,
because it eats holes.... Show more |
| 111) What is red and dangerous ?
Strawberry and
tarantula jelly !... Show more |
| 112) What is the wasps' favorite song?
Just a
Spoonful of Sugar.... Show more |
| 113) What do you call an ant with
frog's legs?
An antphibian.... Show more |
| 114) Where would you put an injured insect ?
In an
antbulance !... Show more |
| 115) What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code ?
A
morese-quito !... Show more |
| 116) What is a spiders favourite TV show ?
The
newly web game !... Show more |
| 117) How can you make a moth ball ?
Hit it with
a fly swatter.... Show more |
| 118) How does a queen bee get around her hive
?
She's throne !... Show more |
| 119) What did one firefly say to the other ?
Got
to glow now !... Show more |
| 120) How do you make a moth bawl?
Hit him with a
fly swatter.... Show more |
| 121) What kind of bees hum and drop
things
?
A fumble bee !... Show more |
| 122) Why do bees hum ?
Because they've forgotten
the words !... Show more |
| 123) Why are spiders good swimmers ?
They have
webbed feet !... Show more |
| 124) What do you call a big irish spider ?
Paddy
long legs !... Show more |
| 125) What did the confused bee say ?
To bee or
not to bee !... Show more |
| 126) How many bees do you need in a bee choir ?
A
humdred !... Show more |
| 127) What kind of doctors are like spiders ?
Spin
doctors !... Show more |
| 128) Why are spiders like tops ?
They are always
spinning !... Show more |
| 129) How do fireflies start
a race?
Ready,
steady, glow!... Show more |
| 130) What kind of bee can't be understood ?
A
mumble bee !... Show more |
| 131) How do you start an insect race ?
One, two,
flea - go... Show more |
| 132) What pillar doesn't need holding up ?
A
caterpillar !... Show more |
| 133) What is the biggest ant in the world ?
An
elephant !... Show more |
| 134) Who writes books for little bees ?
Bee-trix
Potter !... Show more |
| 135) Who is the bees favourite pop group ?
The
bee gees !... Show more |
| 136) What's a bees favourite novel ?
The Great
Gats-bee !... Show more |
| 137) What is a mosquito's favourite sport
?
Skin-diving !... Show more |
| 138) What is the most religious insect
?
A
mosque-ito !... Show more |
| 139) What's the biggest moth in the
world
?
A mammoth !... Show more |
| 140) What kind of bugs bother sporting dogs?
Ath-fleats!... Show more |
| 141) Who is a bee's favourite painter ?
Pablo
Beecasso !... Show more |
| 142) How do fireflies start a race ?
Ready steady
glow !... Show more |
| 143) What has 50 legs but cant walk ?
Half a
centipede !... Show more |
| 144) What did the bee say to the flower ?
Hello
honey !... Show more |
| 145) What to
you call a Russian flea ?
A
Moscow-ito !... Show more |
| 146) What has antlers and sucks blood ?
A
moose-quito !... Show more |
| 147) What do you call a scruffy,
lazy ant?
Decadant.... Show more |
| 148) How do fireflies lose weight?
They burn
calories.... Show more |
| 149) What goes hum-choo, hum choo?
A bee with a
cold !... Show more |
| 150) Where do bees keep their money ?
In a honey
box !... Show more |
| 151) Which fly captured the ladybird?
The
dragon-fly.... Show more |
| 152) What has four wheels and flies ?
A rubbish
bin !... Show more |
| 153) What bee is good for your health ?
Vitamin
bee !... Show more |
| 154) What does a bee get at McDonalds ?
A
humburger !... Show more |
| 155) What does the bee Santa Claus say ?
Ho hum
hum !... Show more |
| 156) What insect runs away from everything ?
A
flee !... Show more |
| 157) Why are mosquitos religious ?
They prey on
you !... Show more |
| 158) What does a cat go to sleep on ?
A
caterpillow !... Show more |
| 159) What's a bees favourite flower ?
A
bee-gonias !... Show more |
| 160) What goes zzub, zzub ?
A bee flying
backwards !... Show more |
| 161) Why do bees buzz ?
Because they can't
whistle !... Show more |
| 162) What TV station do bees watch ?
Bee bee c
one!... Show more |
| 163) What do insects learn at school ?
Mothmatics
!... Show more |
| 164) What are the cleverest bees ?
Spelling bees
!... Show more |
| 165) What is the bees favourite film ?
The Sting
!... Show more |
| 166) What makes a glow worm glow ?
A light meal
!... Show more |
| 167) What is life like for a wood worm ?
Boring
!... Show more |
| 168) What are spiders webs good
for ?
Spiders
!... Show more |
| 169) Where do you take a sick wasp?
To
waspital.... Show more |
| 170) Who is the bees favourite singer ?
Sting
!... Show more |
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