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WEATHER JOKES!

weather JOKES (random)

The U.S. has only three hurricane warning centers - Coral Gables, FL, Guam, and Honolulu, HI (recently completed). All three have faced Category 4 hurricanes in the past month. Which only goes to show: If you build it, they will come!

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY weather JOKES:

 1 - Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ? Because she wanted to be able to tell when... More ››
 2 - Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather rep... More ››
 3 - The Indians asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really... More ››
 4 - A weather intern walks into a bar and asks for a Cold Draft. Suddenly the bar door swings open a... More ››
 5 - The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border.... More ››
 6 - Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a... More ››
 7 - Years ago, Nebraskans got tired of leaning into the wind, having their top soil blown away, and... More ››
 8 - During the month of June and July. Here in the panhandle it got pretty hot in this area. In Fa... More ››
 9 - You're hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You... More ››
 10 - There is a Shreveport cable TV channel that broadcasts the (live) video of the Shreveport radar... More ››
 11 - There was a communist named Rudolph. One day he looked out the window and said, "It looks like a... More ››
 12 - The U.S. has only three hurricane warning centers - Coral Gables, FL, Guam, and Honolulu, HI (re... More ››
 13 - Two Viking invaders are trudging up the beach in the pouring rain. One looks skywards and says,... More ››
 14 - If you are standing in the main street of Amsterdam, and can't see the clock tower of the Centra... More ››
 15 - A city boy was on his first camping trip. He was eating his lunch under a tree when an old-tim... More ››
 16 - A tornado walks into a bar and orders a Hurricane. The bartender asks why he is ordering a Hurri... More ››
 17 - Recently during the heavy rains they have experienced in New England the mail carrier for one ne... More ››
 18 - Rumor has it that the new Miami baseball team will be called "Humidity" so that fans in Florida... More ››
 19 - 'You never get anything right,' complained the teacher. 'What kind of job do you think you'll... More ››
 20 - A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was cros... More ››
 21 - I really don't understand why the federal government was so slow to send aid to the areas hit... More ››
 22 - Why did the Aggie take a golf club and a baseball glove storm chasing with him? -To golf th... More ››
 23 - "Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Fred looking out of the kitchen window. "I know," sai... More ››
 24 - First cave man to 2nd cave man: "I don't care what you say. We never had such unusual weather... More ››
 25 - In the summer desert heat, what did a dust devil say to the over-talkative dust devil? -You... More ››
 26 - Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio? Th... More ››
 27 - Q. What's the difference between 'weather' and 'climate'? A. You can 't 'weather' a tree, but... More ››
 28 - If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet? Because it... More ››
 29 - Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about... More ››
 30 - What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak tree? -Hang onto your bark, this will be no... More ››
 31 - Why do hurricanes travel so fast? Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them... More ››
 32 - How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt?... More ››
 33 - What did the hail storm say to the roof? -Hang onto your shingles, this will be no ordinary... More ››
 34 - What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? -Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordina... More ››
 35 - Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other ra... More ››
 36 - How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can see Mt Ranier, it's going to rain. If not, it alre... More ››
 37 - What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cat... More ››
 38 - If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The condu... More ››
 39 - Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the wea... More ››
 40 - Nate: "Hey, what's the weather like out there?" Kate: "I don't know. I'll tell you when it clear... More ››
 41 - Why is it so wet in Great Britain? Because of all the kings and queens that reigned (rained) ther... More ››
 42 - Why can't meteorologists forecast the weather? -They are too busy studying comets and meteo... More ››
 43 - Jill: How did you find the weather on your vacation? Bill: I just went outside and there it was... More ››
 44 - There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.... More ››
 45 - Q. What did one tornado say to the other? A. "Let's twist again, like we did last summer...."... More ››
 46 - It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.... More ››
 47 - What did the primary rainbow say to the secondary rainbow? -Your pants are on backwards... More ››
 48 - Q: What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer? A: You make my temperature rise.... More ››
 49 - What did Santa Claus's wife say during a thunderstorm? 'Come and look at the rain, dear.'... More ››
 50 - How did you find the weather at camp? It was easy. I just went outside - and there it was!... More ››
 51 - If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather? An umbrella.... More ››
 52 - Q) How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather? A) He's got bugs on his teeth.... More ››
 53 - Why did the tornado get arrested? -For speeding, theft, vandalism, assault and murder... More ››
 54 - Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because then the children have to play inside.... More ››
 55 - What type of sense of humor does a dust storm have? -A very dry sense of humor... More ››
 56 - How did the hail stone describe it's life? -It really has a lot of ups and downs... More ››
 57 - What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day? A wet one.... More ››
 58 - Why do raindrops like lightning at night? -So they can see where they are going... More ››
 59 - What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin? Santa Ana... More ››
 60 - It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.... More ››
 61 - What is the most popular sport played by raindrops and hail stones? -Diving... More ››
 62 - Q: What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane? A: I have my eye on you.... More ››
 63 - Why don't tornadoes watch Bill O'Reilly on FOXNEWS? -It is a no spin zone... More ››
 64 - Why did the updraft get pulled over? -It was speeding in a high shear zone... More ››
 65 - Q. What did the fog say to the light rain after her vacation? A. I mist you.... More ››
 66 - How is a hailstone like an onion? -They are both whitish and have layers... More ››
 67 - Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished? -In a high pressure cell... More ››
 68 - How can you tell if a tornado is stupid? -If it spins anti-cyclonically... More ››
 69 - What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common? Both are a glaze... More ››
 70 - Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody believes? The weatherman.... More ››
 71 - How easy is it for wind gusts to talk to each other? -It is a breeze... More ››
 72 - What type of sense of humor does rain have? -A very wet sense of humor... More ››
 73 - Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun? -It burns too easily... More ››
 74 - Why was the lightning grilled on the stove? -To make heat lightning... More ››
 75 - What type of wind is named after both a cat and a bat? Katabatic... More ››
 76 - Q:What did the tornado say to the car? A:('You wanna go for a spin?')... More ››
 77 - What doesn't get any wetter no matter how much it rains? The ocean... More ››
 78 - Fred: I'm sure I'm right. Betty: You're as right as rain - all wet!... More ››
 79 - What type of music do lightning bolts listen to? -Rock and Roll... More ››
 80 - What is the most popular game played by tornadoes? -Catch my drift... More ››
 81 - What is a hurricane's favorite pet? -Anywhere from 1 to 5 cats... More ››
 82 - Why were the vets and pounds mad? It was raining cats and dogs... More ››
 83 - What do hurricanes most like to eat for dessert? -Candy Canes... More ››
 84 - How is snow white? -Pretty good, according to the 7 dwarfs... More ››
 85 - A postcard home: The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.... More ››
 86 - What do clouds want to be when they grow up? -Thunderstorms... More ››
 87 - Why type of lightning likes to play sports? -Ball lightning... More ››
 88 - What do lightning bolts do when they laugh? -They crack up... More ››
 89 - How did the rainbow know is was lost? -It was a clear day... More ››
 90 - Why is the sky not happy on clear days? It has the blues... More ››
 91 - What is a Mexican weather report? Chilli today, hot tamale.... More ››
 92 - What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up? -Fog... More ››
 93 - Why do tornadoes move so erratically? -They are dizzy... More ››
 94 - How do sheep keep warm in winter ? Central bleating !... More ››
 95 - What is the opposite of a cold front? -A warm back... More ››
 96 - What type of wind is named after a young deer? Foehn... More ››
 97 - Which weather features do druggies like most? Highs... More ››
 98 - Why did the weather want privacy? -It was changing... More ››
 99 - What happens when the fog lifts in California? UCLA.... More ››
 100 - Where do lightning bolts go on dates? -To cloud 9... More ››
 101 - What is a tornado ? Mother nature doing the twist !... More ››
 102 - Where do wind gusts go to on dates? -To Chicago... More ››
 103 - What are the hottest days during summer? Sun-days... More ››
 104 - What person adds best in hot weather? A summer.... More ››
 105 - What game do tornadoes like to play? Twister.... More ››
 106 - How do rain drops marry? -They coalesce... More ››
 107 - How do hurricanes see? With one eye.... More ››
 108 - What is hail ? Hard boiled rain !... More ››
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