Heaven and hell JOKES
Three college football coaches were flying across the country when their airplane crashed and all three died.
They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair.
God motioned for one of them to come into the clouds.
God wanted to know three things: "Who are you?
What did you do?
What did people think of you?" The first coach said, "I'm Joe Paterno.
I coached Penn State from 1966 to 2000.
I won 300 games, 19 bowl victories, 2 national championships, and won Coach of the Year 4 times.
The people of Pennsylvania think I'm great." God said, "Fine, Joe, stand at my right side." The next person said, "I'm Bobby Bowden.
I coached Florida State University from 1980 to 2000.
I had a .816 win percentage, played in 14 bowl games without a loss and won a national championship after beating Nebraska.
The people of Florida think I'm great." God said, "Fine, Bobby, stan d at my left side." The third coach stood before God and said, "I'm Bob Stoops.
I took over a storied Oklahoma program that had won 6 national championships and held many NCAA records but had fallen to the lowest of the low.
In the 3 years prior to me taking over the Sooners they went 3-8 (worst season in 102 years of football), 4-8, and 5-6, beating Texas only once and not beating Colorado or Nebraska, not to mention losing to OSU.
I coached the Sooners for a season and a half, going 7-5 in my first year beating a top-15 Texas A&M with my unranked team and taking the Sooners to a bowl game.
7 games into my second season we were undefeated and I took the Sooners to #1 in the AP poll, Coaches poll, and BCS poll.
We beat #10 Texas 63-14, #2 Kansas State in Manhattan 41-31, and #1 Nebraska 31-14.
Our quarterback was the frontrunner for the Heisman trophy, we were in the driver's seat for the national championship, and th e people of Oklahoma think you are sitting in my chair."