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heaven and hell JOKES (random)

An angel in heaven was welcoming a new arrival.
"How did you get here?" he asked.
And the new angel replied, "Flu..."

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 1 - In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The love... More ››
 2 - Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy... More ››
 3 - Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke u... More ››
 4 - A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiti... More ››
 5 - This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had... More ››
 6 - Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates wait... More ››
 7 - A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have... More ››
 8 - One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by... More ››
 9 - Three college football coaches were flying across the country when their airplane crashed and al... More ››
 10 - Morty the producer dies and goes to purgatory. The agent behind the counter says "So Morty, what... More ››
 11 - Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a littl... More ››
 12 - There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard... More ››
 13 - It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering... More ››
 14 - A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to... More ››
 15 - A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St.... More ››
 16 - St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What di... More ››
 17 - Three men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter. St. Peter: Hi, what's your name... More ››
 18 - A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get... More ››
 19 - This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and... More ››
 20 - Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lin... More ››
 21 - Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. S... More ››
 22 - St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven... More ››
 23 - Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but you... More ››
 24 - Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by... More ››
 25 - President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter.... More ››
 26 - A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist.... More ››
 27 - A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the ga... More ››
 28 - A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the... More ››
 29 - An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He is met by St Peter who goes through the usual ques... More ››
 30 - Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly... More ››
 31 - Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked... More ››
 32 - One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang. walk up to the Pearl... More ››
 33 - Two Irish friends greeted each other while waiting their turn at the bank window. "This remind... More ››
 34 - A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questi... More ››
 35 - A doctor, an engineer, and a fungal taxonomist arrived at The Pearly Gates. The doctor said how... More ››
 36 - A Director arrives below and is met by Satan who shows him around. Turns out that Hell is a giga... More ››
 37 - So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, "Y... More ››
 38 - A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he ask... More ››
 39 - St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be... More ››
 40 - A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gat... More ››
 41 - Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to heaven? Ted: No, but the more you s... More ››
 42 - An angel in heaven was welcoming a new arrival. "How did you get here?" he asked. And the new... More ››
 43 - What do you call the queue of Software Engineers standing outside Heaven ? The Y2K deadline !... More ››
 44 - Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.... More ››
 45 - Why did the angel lose her job? She had harp failure.... More ››
 46 - How do angels greet each other? They say, Halo.... More ››
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