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| The Best Accountant Jokes: | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 1) Once upon a time there was a beautiful oil company. All day long she loved to run... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2) A man walking along a country road comes across a farmer droving a huge mob of sh... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3) The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied f... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4) An auditor is checking the books of an airline. He is puzzled by the excess use o... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5) There once was an accountant who lived her whole life without ever taking advanta... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 6) An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 7) A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 8) A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant h... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 9) Three partners in an accounting firm go out to lunch. They are the audit partner,... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 10) An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows him th... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 11) A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydn... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 12) Mr Evans was the Chief Accountant of a large manufacturing concern. Every day, on... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 13) An auditor was examining the balance sheet of a mining company that had just boug... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 14) A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: "De... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 15) Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 16) A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Want to hear an accou... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 17) The managing partner in an accounting firm is very annoyed with one of his junior... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 18) A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to "Th... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 19) A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. T... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 20) The doctor comes to see his heart transplant patient. "This is good news. It i... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 21) The accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughte... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 22) A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the firs... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 23) An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosau... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 24) A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an acco... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 25) An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor,... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 26) An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor,... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 27) A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 28) A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant. The detect... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 29) Who was the first accountant? Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 30) How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? "What kind of answer d... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 31) Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child: "No, son. When Littl... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 32) Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 33) The accountant's prayer: Lord, help me be more relaxed about insignificant detail... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 34) "The auditors have just left, sir." "Did they check the books?" "Very thoro... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 35) What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It's 9.18 am and 12 secon... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 36) Laws of Accounting 1. Trial balances don't 2. Bank reconciliations never do 3.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 37) Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of an... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 38) How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie him to a chair, stand in f... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 39) When does a person decide to become an accountant? When he realises he doesn't h... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 40) What's the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn't kn... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 41) How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? Hmmm........I'll... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 42) How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft? When he actually liste... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 43) What's a shy and retiring accountant? An accountant who is half a million shy an... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 44) What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking t... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 45) What's the definition of unlikely? A photo-spread in Playboy titled 'The World's T... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 46) Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that's wha... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 47) How do you know when an accountant's on holidays? He doesn't wear a tie to work... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 48) What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 49) What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 50) If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? "Darling, could you tell... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 51) What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room? Refusing to fill out the g... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 52) What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 53) There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 54) What's the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 55) How do you know accountants have no imagination? They named a firm Pricewaterhouse... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 56) Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? They find bookkeeping too ex... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 57) How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb? How many did it take last... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 58) Why accountants don't read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbe... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 59) Conversation between two accountants at a cocktail party: ".......and ninthly...... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 60) Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays? They can wear casual clothes to wor... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 61) Why did God invent economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 62) What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 63) What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 64) Why did he cross back? So he could charge the client for travel expenses.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 65) Q: What is a Budget? A: An orderly system for living beyond your means.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 66) What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 67) When do accountants laugh out loud? When somebody asks for a raise... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 68) Why do accountants make good lovers? They're great with figures.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 69) What does an accountant use for birth control? His personality.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 70) What's an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 71) What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 72) What does FCPA stand for? Finally Caught Pinching the Assets... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 73) What would Economics be without assumptions? Accounting... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 74) What does CPA stand for? Can't Produce Anything... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
