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The Best Accountant Jokes: |
| 1) There once was an accountant who lived her whole life
without... Show more |
| 2) Once upon a time there was a beautiful oil
company.
All day l... Show more |
| 3) An
internal auditor for a manufacturing
group was concerned a... Show more |
| 4) A man walking along a country road comes
across a farmer drov... Show more |
| 5) A business man was interviewing
applicants for the position o... Show more |
| 6) A young accountant spends a week at his new
office with the r... Show more |
| 7) Three partners
in an accounting firm go
out to lunch. They ar... Show more |
| 8) An
accountant goes into a pet shop to
buy a parrot. The shop... Show more |
| 9) A young accountant, straight out
of uni,
applies for a job ad... Show more |
| 10) Mr Evans was the Chief Accountant of a large
manufacturing conc... Show more |
| 11) An auditor was examining the balance sheet
of a mining compan... Show more |
| 12) The young accounting graduate, fresh out of
uni and knowing e... Show more |
| 13) A 54-year-old
accountant leaves a letter
for his wife one eve... Show more |
| 14) Two accountants are in a bank, when armed
robbers burst in. W... Show more |
| 15) A guy in a bar
leans over to the guy
next to him and says, "W... Show more |
| 16) An auditor is checking the books of
an
airline. He is puzzled... Show more |
| 17) The managing partner in an accounting firm
is very annoyed wi... Show more |
| 18) A tourist, visiting a small town in
Israel, came upon a statu... Show more |
| 19) A patient was at her doctor's office after
undergoing a compl... Show more |
| 20) The doctor comes to see his heart
transplant patient.
"Thi... Show more |
| 21) The accountant had just read the story of
Cinderella to his
f... Show more |
| 22) A Martian lands to plunder,
pillage and
burn. He goes up to t... Show more |
| 23) An accountant visited the Natural History
museum. While stand... Show more |
| 24) A
business owner tells her friend that
she is desperately sea... Show more |
| 25) An accountant is having a hard
time sleeping and goes to see... Show more |
| 26) An accountant is having a hard time sleeping
and goes to see... Show more |
| 27) A businessman tells his friend that his
company is looking fo... Show more |
| 28) A businessman hires a private detective to
find a missing
acc... Show more |
| 29) Who was the first accountant?
Adam. He
got interested in figur... Show more |
| 30) How many accountants
does it take to
change a light bulb?
"W... Show more |
| 31) Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to
his young child:... Show more |
| 32) Wife to husband as they watch their young
son playing:
"He... Show more |
| 33) The accountant's prayer: Lord, help me be
more
relaxed about... Show more |
| 34) "The auditors have just left,
sir."
"Did they check the bo... Show more |
| 35) What does an accountant say when
you ask
him the time?
It's... Show more |
| 36) Laws of
Accounting
1. Trial balances
don't
2. Bank reconcil... Show more |
| 37) Q: How many Accountants
does it take to
change a light bulb?... Show more |
| 38) How do you drive an accountant completely
insane?
Tie him to... Show more |
| 39) When does a person decide to become an
accountant?
When he r... Show more |
| 40) What's the definition of an
accountant?
Someone who solves a p... Show more |
| 41) How many cost accountants does it
take
to change a light bulb... Show more |
| 42) How can you tell when the Chief Accountant
is getting soft?
Wh... Show more |
| 43) What's a shy and retiring
accountant?
An accountant who is h... Show more |
| 44) What's an extroverted accountant?
One
who looks at your shoes... Show more |
| 45) What's the definition of unlikely?
A
photo-spread in Playboy t... Show more |
| 46) Why did the auditor cross the
road?
Because he looked in the... Show more |
| 47) How do you know when an
accountant's on
holidays?
He doesn't... Show more |
| 48) What's the most wicked thing a group of
young accountants
can... Show more |
| 49) What's the most wicked thing a
group of
young accountants can... Show more |
| 50) If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what
does she say?
"Darl... Show more |
| 51) What's an accountant's idea of trashing
his hotel room?
Refusi... Show more |
| 52) What does it mean when an accountant is
drooling out of
both... Show more |
| 53) There are three kinds of
accountants in
the world.
Those who... Show more |
| 54) What's the definition of a good tax
accountant?
Someone who ha... Show more |
| 55) How do you know accountants have no
imagination?
They named a... Show more |
| 56) Why do some accountants
decide to become
actuaries?
They fin... Show more |
| 57) How many auditors does it take to change a
light bulb?
How m... Show more |
| 58) Why accountants don't read
novels?
Because the only numbers in... Show more |
| 59) Conversation between two accountants at a
cocktail party:
".... Show more |
| 60) Why do accountants get excited on
Saturdays?
They can wear c... Show more |
| 61) Why did God invent economists?
So
accountants could have someo... Show more |
| 62) What do actuaries do to liven up
their
office party?
Invite... Show more |
| 63) What do accountants suffer from that
ordinary people don't?... Show more |
| 64) Why did he cross back?
So he could charge
the client for trave... Show more |
| 65) Q: What is a Budget? A: An
orderly
system for living beyond y... Show more |
| 66) What do you call an accountant who is seen
talking to someone?... Show more |
| 67) When do
accountants laugh out
loud?
When somebody asks for a... Show more |
| 68) Why do
accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figur... Show more |
| 69) What does an accountant use for birth
control?
His personali... Show more |
| 70) What's an actuary?
An accountant without
the sense of humour.... Show more |
| 71) What do you call an accountant without a
spreadsheet?
Lost... Show more |
| 72) What does FCPA stand for?
Finally Caught
Pinching the Assets... Show more |
| 73) What would Economics be without
assumptions?
Accounting... Show more |
| 74) What does CPA stand for?
Can't Produce
Anything... Show more |
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