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ATTORNEY JOKES!

attorney JOKES (random)

A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him." At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY attorney JOKES:

 1 - A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please describe," said... More ››
 2 - A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. H... More ››
 3 - A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The ranche... More ››
 4 - A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -- it went like th... More ››
 5 - A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce. Attorney: "May I hel... More ››
 6 - The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicte... More ››
 7 - Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have be... More ››
 8 - Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their... More ››
 9 - A wealthy man sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?... More ››
 10 - A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. "Please repeat the slanderous... More ››
 11 - A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, s... More ››
 12 - Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that m... More ››
 13 - What does a Gorilla attorney study? The Law of the jungle!... More ››
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