Random Aviation Jokes! |
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Pilot: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student
pilot, I am out of
fuel."
Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce
airspeed to best glide!! Do you
have the airfield in
sight?!?!!"
Pilot: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where
the fuel truck is."
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Aviation Jokes on your site! |
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The Best Aviation Jokes: |
| 1) Southwest Airlines makes humor a high
priority. Here are some... Show more |
| 2) One day at a busy
airport, the passengers
on a commercial
ai... Show more |
| 3) One day at a busy
airport, the passengers
on a commercial air... Show more |
| 4) An award should go to the United Airlines gate
agent in
Denve... Show more |
| 5) A few days after Christmas, a
mother was
working in the kitch... Show more |
| 6) A man is flying from Los Angeles to New York.
During the meal... Show more |
| 7) Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural
America. Panic s... Show more |
| 8) It was a few days before Christmas. The trip
went reasonably we... Show more |
| 9) As a crowded airliner is about to
take
off, the peace is shat... Show more |
| 10) Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and
nephews. However, s... Show more |
| 11) Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and
nephews. However, she... Show more |
| 12) A man named Mr. Smith was
flying from San
Francisco to LA.... Show more |
| 13) Fred and his wife Edna went to the state
fair every year. Eve... Show more |
| 14) An airline pilot was scheduled to take a
flight from New York t... Show more |
| 15) At one of the packed, Delta ticket counters
all of ticket
age... Show more |
| 16) While cruising at 40,000
feet, the
airplane shuddered and Mr.... Show more |
| 17) A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in
the
first class... Show more |
| 18) Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this
announcement from... Show more |
| 19) There were three guys in an
airplane. One
guy dropped
a rock... Show more |
| 20) A military cargo plane, flying over a
populated area, suddenl... Show more |
| 21) No flight ever leaves on time unless you are
running
late and... Show more |
| 22) A pilot and a co-pilot were descending for a
landing at an airp... Show more |
| 23) An
employee of USAir with the last name of
Gay boarded a USAi... Show more |
| 24) The Captain was
Jewish, and the new First
Officer was Chinese... Show more |
| 25) An airplane pilot dies at the controls.
He goes to Hell. The... Show more |
| 26) On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised
to see a parrot s... Show more |
| 27) The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport
were often short-... Show more |
| 28) A small twin-prop
commuter plane was
hijacked by a desperate... Show more |
| 29) A young lady was conducting a study in to
human sexual
behavi... Show more |
| 30) An airline captain was breaking in a very
pretty new blonde s... Show more |
| 31) A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to
the window.
A... Show more |
| 32) A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.
After it reached... Show more |
| 33) A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it
reached a
comfo... Show more |
| 34) Flight fifty
has a pretty rough time
above the ocean. Suddenl... Show more |
| 35) After an overnight flight to meet my father
at
his latest mil... Show more |
| 36) "This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf
of my
crew I'd... Show more |
| 37) A blonde gets
an opportunity to fly to a
nearby country. She... Show more |
| 38) An airplane was flying from LA to New York.
About an
hour int... Show more |
| 39) An airline pilot wrote that on this
particular flight he had... Show more |
| 40) An
airline pilot wrote that on this
particular flight he had... Show more |
| 41) At the airport for a business trip, I settled
down to wait fo... Show more |
| 42) As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over
Arizona on a clear day... Show more |
| 43) A mother and her son were
flying
"Southwest Airlines" from Ka... Show more |
| 44) A
blind man was describing his favorite
sport, parachuting. W... Show more |
| 45) From a Southwest Airlines employee....
"Welcome aboard Southwes... Show more |
| 46) A man jumps out of an airplane with a
parachute on his back.... Show more |
| 47) Bill Clinton,
Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al
Gore, and Tipper Gor... Show more |
| 48) On a flight
with EasyJet back in 1997 the
pilot made what can... Show more |
| 49) An airplane was losing altitude
over the
Rocky Mountains. The... Show more |
| 50) Brendan had spent a week
visiting his
family in Kentucky. His... Show more |
| 51) During the heat of the space race in the
1960's, the U.S.
Nat... Show more |
| 52) Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the
other day, a
pas... Show more |
| 53) A young guy in a two-engine fighter was
flying
escort for a B... Show more |
| 54) A young guy in a
two-engine fighter was
flying escort for a B... Show more |
| 55) A student was heading home for the holidays.
When she got to... Show more |
| 56) Overheard on an American Airlines flight into
Amarillo, Texas... Show more |
| 57) All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me
to thinking abou... Show more |
| 58) Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton and Nelson
Mandela are in an ai... Show more |
| 59) After a real crusher of a landing in
Phoenix, the Flight Atte... Show more |
| 60) An airliner was having engine
trouble,
and the pilot instruct... Show more |
| 61) Delta Airlines recently
introduced a
special half-fare rate f... Show more |
| 62) Taxiing down the tarmac,
the jetliner
abruptly stopped, turne... Show more |
| 63) Taxiing
down the tarmac, the jetliner
abruptly stopped, turne... Show more |
| 64) As migration approached, two elderly vultures
doubted they co... Show more |
| 65) United
Airlines FA: "Ladies and
Gentlemen, as you are all now... Show more |
| 66) McNally was taking his first plane ride,
flying over the
Rock... Show more |
| 67) USAir recently introduced a special
half
fare for wives who a... Show more |
| 68) According to "The Australian," an airliner
recently encountered... Show more |
| 69) After the first
takeoff of the fully
automatic airplane, the... Show more |
| 70) A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool
on the aviatio... Show more |
| 71) An airline stewardess was giving the standard
safety briefing... Show more |
| 72) Pilot says:
"Folks, we have reached our
cruising altitude now... Show more |
| 73) As the airliner was preparing to land in
Madrid in a rainstor... Show more |
| 74) Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student
pilot, I am out of... Show more |
| 75) Pilot: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student
pilot, I am out of... Show more |
| 76) A husband suspects his wife is having an
affair with a pilot,... Show more |
| 77) Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival
announcement: "We'd like t... Show more |
| 78) A small two-seater Cessna
152 plane
crashed into a cemetery e... Show more |
| 79) Stewardess"
"Yes, Sir?" "I want to
complain about this airlin... Show more |
| 80) What is ideal Flight Deck complement for a
modern airliner?... Show more |
| 81) "Flight 1234, for noise
abatement turn
right 45 degrees.."
"... Show more |
| 82) "I've never flown before, said the
nervous old lady to the pi... Show more |
| 83) "Should the cabin
lose pressure, oxygen
masks will drop from... Show more |
| 84) Ever wonder why they never show the film ALIVE
in-flight?....... Show more |
| 85) A man walks up to the
counter at the
airport. "Can I help you... Show more |
| 86) A woman called and said, "I need to fly to
Pepsi-Cola
on one... Show more |
| 87) A man telephoned an airline office in New
York
and asked, "Ho... Show more |
| 88) ATC: "Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions?
"
Cessna: "To... Show more |
| 89) Tower:
Mission triple-three, do you have
problems?
Pilot: I... Show more |
| 90) From the pilot during his welcome message:
"We are pleased to... Show more |
| 91) It was mealtime on a small airline and the
flight attendant a... Show more |
| 92) Once as Laloo was coming out of airport,
there was huge rush... Show more |
| 93) Another flight
Attendant's comment on a
less than perfect lan... Show more |
| 94) Pilot: Tower, there's a runway light
burning.
Tower: I'm sure... Show more |
| 95) From a
Southwest Airlines employee: "There
may be 50 ways to... Show more |
| 96) Tower: Lufthansa 893, you're
number one,
check for workers on... Show more |
| 97) Tower: Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft
declaring emergency... Show more |
| 98) Tower: Shamu two-two, please
state
estimated time of arrival.... Show more |
| 99) Little boy to airline pilot:
"You're
a pilot?!?!? That must... Show more |
| 100) "Flight 1234, are you
ready to copy
holding instructions?"
"... Show more |
| 101) How does the captain know the aircraft is
safely at the ramp?... Show more |
| 102) "Hello flight 56, if you hear me rock your
wings.."
"OK TOWE... Show more |
| 103) Tower: What's your heigth and
position?
Pilot: Well, I'm 6 foo... Show more |
| 104) How many pilots does it take to change a
light
bulb?
None, i... Show more |
| 105) Tower:
Have you got enough fuel or
not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower:... Show more |
| 106) Pilot: Tower, please call me
a fuel
truck.
Tower: Roger. Yo... Show more |
| 107) I have a friend who is a pilot on a
747.
I said "Hi Jack."... Show more |
| 108) LH741: Tower, give me a rough time check
Tower: It's Thursday... Show more |
| 109) Tower: Cannot read you, say again!
Pilot:
Again!... Show more |
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