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The Best Baby Jokes: |
| 1) Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby.
Unfortunatel... Show more |
| 2) A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks,
"Dad, am I pur... Show more |
| 3) A family of ducks were
walking down the road
when an 18-wheel... Show more |
| 4) Three men were discussing at a bar about
coincidences. The fi... Show more |
| 5) Dewey and Odell met
on the Brownsville main
street. "Say," sa... Show more |
| 6) A distraught mum rushed into the back
yard,
where eight-year-... Show more |
| 7) Q:
Where does a white baby go when it dies?
A: Heaven
Q... Show more |
| 8) A
scoutmaster asked one of his troop what
good deed he had do... Show more |
| 9) I see the baby's nose is running
again,"
said a worried fathe... Show more |
| 10) Do you like your
new baby sister?
She's
all right.
Do you... Show more |
| 11) Daddy,
daddy, can I have another glass of
water, please?
Bu... Show more |
| 12) Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She
thought babies... Show more |
| 13) I got a letter from my sister.
She just had a
baby. But she d... Show more |
| 14) Mum, are the Smiths very poor people?
I
don't think so, Jimmy... Show more |
| 15) Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in
weight in
two... Show more |
| 16) What is a baby: A soft pink thing that makes a
lot of noise at... Show more |
| 17) Mum, is it true my baby sister came
from
Heaven?
Yes, that'... Show more |
| 18) Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door?
Veronica: A lady with a... Show more |
| 19) Why did you drop the
baby?
Well, Mrs
Smith said he was a bo... Show more |
| 20) Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest
baby in the... Show more |
| 21) Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal
village?
S... Show more |
| 22) Q: How many baby sitters
does it take to
change a light bulb?... Show more |
| 23) Doctor, doctor, my
baby's swallowed a watch!
Give it some E... Show more |
| 24) Q: What's pink and red and can't turn
round
in a corridor?... Show more |
| 25) Who is bigger - Mrs Bigger or Mrs
Bigger's
baby?
Mrs Bigger... Show more |
| 26) Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys
in blue?
Be... Show more |
| 27) It can't go on! It can't go on!
What can't
go on?
This baby... Show more |
| 28) What would you get if you crossed a new-born
snake
with a bas... Show more |
| 29) Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby
sister?
I'd... Show more |
| 30) Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?
He wanted som... Show more |
| 31) Knock knock.
Who's there?
Baby Owl.
Baby Owl who?
Baby... Show more |
| 32) What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby
snake?
Stop... Show more |
| 33) Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the
crib?
Daughter: You... Show more |
| 34) Knock knock.
Who's there?
Underwear.
Underwear who?
Und... Show more |
| 35) Why did the baby monster put his father
in
the freezer?
Bec... Show more |
| 36) How did the witch almost lose her baby?
She
didn't take it fa... Show more |
| 37) My new baby is the image of his father.
Never
mind. just so l... Show more |
| 38) Knock Knock
Who's there !
Baby !
Baby
who ?
Baby love, my b... Show more |
| 39) What did
the Pharaohs use to keep their
babies quiet?
Egypt... Show more |
| 40) Fred: My mum's having a new baby.
Drew:
What's wrong with the... Show more |
| 41) What do you get if you cross a mountain and a
baby
?
A cry f... Show more |
| 42) What was the policeman's
baby's first words
?
Hallo, Hallo,... Show more |
| 43) Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
A:
Michael Jackson's... Show more |
| 44) Why are babies always gurgling with joy?
Because it's a nappy... Show more |
| 45) Why does a mother carry
her baby?
The baby
can't carry the m... Show more |
| 46) Why is a baby like an diamond?
Because it's
a dear little thi... Show more |
| 47) How can you tell if a snake is a
baby snake?
It has a rattl... Show more |
| 48) When a baby is learning to eat,
shouldn't he
have an L-plate?... Show more |
| 49) What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers
?
Infantry !... Show more |
| 50) What did Baby Corn say to Mother Corn?
Where's Pop Corn?... Show more |
| 51) How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
You
rock-et.... Show more |
| 52) What does a baby computer call his
father?
Data.... Show more |
| 53) What do baby pythons play with?
Rattle-snakes.... Show more |
| 54) How do you get a paper baby?
Marry an old
bag.... Show more |
| 55) What are baby witches
called?
Halloweenies.... Show more |
| 56) How does a baby ghost cry?
"Boo-hoo!
Boo-hoo!"... Show more |
| 57) What is a baby bee?
A little humbug.... Show more |
| 58) Cry Baby - by Liza
Weeping... Show more |
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