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The Best Bird Jokes: |
| 1) David received a parrot for his birthday. This
parrot was ful... Show more |
| 2) A man with a talking parrot is getting married. On
the day of... Show more |
| 3) Late one night, a burglar
broke into a house
he thought was e... Show more |
| 4) A couple of pigeons made a
date to meet on
the ledge outside... Show more |
| 5) How many ducks would there be,
if you saw two
ducks in front... Show more |
| 6) "Look at that speed!"
said one hawk to
another as the jet fig... Show more |
| 7) What did one chicken say to the other after they
walked throu... Show more |
| 8) What do you get if you cross
a giant, hairy
monster with a pe... Show more |
| 9) What do you get if you cross a woodpecker
with a carrier pige... Show more |
| 10) What did the baby
chick say when he saw his
mother sitting on... Show more |
| 11) Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if
they flew over t... Show more |
| 12) What happened to the chicken whose feathers were
all
pointing... Show more |
| 13) What do you get if you cross a bee with a
parrot?
An animal... Show more |
| 14) Q: Why did the chicken say,
"Meow, oink,
bow-wow, and moo?"... Show more |
| 15) Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to
take ballet lesso... Show more |
| 16) What's brown and white and flies all
over?
Thanksgiving turkey... Show more |
| 17) What goes 'peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang'
?
A bunch of c... Show more |
| 18) Why were the hens lying on their backs
with
their legs in the... Show more |
| 19) Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and
Christmas???
You'r... Show more |
| 20) What do you call a rooster who
wakes you up
at the same time... Show more |
| 21) Why does a chicken coop have two doors
?
Because if had four d... Show more |
| 22) What did the baby owl's parents say when he
wanted
to go to a... Show more |
| 23) What do you get if you cross a parrot with a
woodpecker ?
A... Show more |
| 24) Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ?
Because
if he lifted up... Show more |
| 25) What do you get if you cross a parrot with a
shark ?
A bird... Show more |
| 26) What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of
fried chicken... Show more |
| 27) Two owls were playing pool.
One said, "Two
hits."
The other... Show more |
| 28) Teacher: What's the definition of a
Polygamist?
Pupil: A parro... Show more |
| 29) What is the difference between a fly and a bird
?
A bird can f... Show more |
| 30) Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?
Pupil: For a... Show more |
| 31) What did the parrot say when he was using the
Internet?
P.Cs... Show more |
| 32) What do you get if you cross an eagle with a
skunk?
A bird th... Show more |
| 33) Why did the chicken cross
the road in
Missouri?
To show the... Show more |
| 34) How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land
safely ?... Show more |
| 35) What do you call a parrot when it has dried
itself
after a ba... Show more |
| 36) Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross
the
road ?
Because he... Show more |
| 37) Why did the chick
disappoint his mother ?
He wasn't what he... Show more |
| 38) Why is politics for the birds?
Because
politiciands always par... Show more |
| 39) Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ?
Because
she wanted to be... Show more |
| 40) What do you get if you cross a parrot with a
centipede ?
A... Show more |
| 41) Why did the chicken cross the basketball court
?
He heard the... Show more |
| 42) What do you call a chicken that crosses the road
without look... Show more |
| 43) What did the rich socialite's parrot
say?
Polly want a cracker... Show more |
| 44) Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting
"Pieces of
four"?... Show more |
| 45) Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To
get to the chick... Show more |
| 46) What profession did the parrot get into when it
swallowed the... Show more |
| 47) How do you identify a bald eagle?
All his
feathers are combed... Show more |
| 48) What did they call the canary that flew into the
pastry dish... Show more |
| 49) What do you get when you cross a chicken
with
a duck?
A bird... Show more |
| 50) Why did the chicken cross the road half way
?
He wanted to lay... Show more |
| 51) What do you get if you cross a chicken
with a
cement mixer ?... Show more |
| 52) Why did a man's
pet vulture not make a sound
for five years?... Show more |
| 53) Why are there no
aspirin in the
jungle?
The parrots eat em a... Show more |
| 54) What is the definition of a goose ?
An animal
that grows down... Show more |
| 55) Why is a sofa like a roast chicken ?
Because
they're both ful... Show more |
| 56) My parrot lays square eggs but
can only say
one word.
What'... Show more |
| 57) What are a parrot's favourite literary
characters?
Mr Macawber... Show more |
| 58) What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top
of a
barn ?... Show more |
| 59) How can you tell if a parrot
is
intelligent?
It speaks in Po... Show more |
| 60) What do you call a bunch of chickens playing
hide-and-seek ?... Show more |
| 61) What do you get if your budgie flies into the
blender ?
Shr... Show more |
| 62) What do chicken families do on
Saturday
afternoon?
They go o... Show more |
| 63) Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?
It
wanted to get to the... Show more |
| 64) What happens when geese land in a volcano ?
They cook their o... Show more |
| 65) What flies through the jungle singing opera ?
The parrots of... Show more |
| 66) What do you get if you cross a duck with a
firework ?
A fir... Show more |
| 67) What did the parrot say on Independence
Day?
Polly wants a fir... Show more |
| 68) Why did the
bird join he air force?
He
wanted to be a parrot... Show more |
| 69) Q: Why did the turkey cross
the road?
A: To
prove he wasn't... Show more |
| 70) Why did the chicken cross the
playground
?
To get to the oth... Show more |
| 71) Why did the chicken end up in the soup
?
Because it ran out of... Show more |
| 72) What do you get if you
cross a nun and a
chicken?
A pecking... Show more |
| 73) How do you get a parrot to talk properly ?
Send him to polyte... Show more |
| 74) Why do parrots carry umbrellas?
So they don't
become polly-sat... Show more |
| 75) How do you stop a rooser crowing
on Sunday ?
Eat him on Sat... Show more |
| 76) What happened when the owl lost his voice ?
He didn't give a... Show more |
| 77) Is chicken soup good for
your health ?
Not
if you're the chi... Show more |
| 78) What's the definition of a Parapet?
Pet
parrot kept by parachu... Show more |
| 79) What did the parrot say
when he saw a
duck?
Polly want a qua... Show more |
| 80) What's a parrot's favourite song?
I love
Parrots in the Spring... Show more |
| 81) When is the best time to buy budgies ?
When
they're going che... Show more |
| 82) What's got six legs and can fly long distances ?
Three swallo... Show more |
| 83) What do you call a bird that
lives
underground ?
A mynah bi... Show more |
| 84) What happens when a hen eats gunpowder ?
She
lays hand gren-eg... Show more |
| 85) What birds spend all their time on their knees ?
Birds of pre... Show more |
| 86) What happened when the chicken ate cement
?
She laid a sidewal... Show more |
| 87) What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg
?
The bombshel... Show more |
| 88) What do you call the place where parrots make
films?
Pollywo... Show more |
| 89) What kind of birds do you usually find locked up
?
Jail-birds... Show more |
| 90) Why did the turkey cross the road
?
To
prove he wasn't chick... Show more |
| 91) Why did the owl, owl ?
Because the woodpecker
would peck 'er... Show more |
| 92) Where do the cleverest parrots live?
In the
brain tree forests... Show more |
| 93) Where do blind parrots go for treatment?
The
Birds Eye counter... Show more |
| 94) Q: Why do hens lay eggs?
A: If they dropped
them, they'd break... Show more |
| 95) Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go
to get a drink!... Show more |
| 96) What's the definition of Parity?
Two parrots
exactly the same!... Show more |
| 97) What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg
?
It eggs-plodes !... Show more |
| 98) What geometric figure is like a runaway
parrot?
A polygon .... Show more |
| 99) What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ?
A headbanger !... Show more |
| 100) What happens when ducks fly upside
down ?
They quack up !... Show more |
| 101) Why is it easy for chicks to talk ?
Because
talk is cheep !... Show more |
| 102) Why do ducks have webbed feet ?
To stamp out
forest fires !... Show more |
| 103) What is a duck's favorite TV show ?
The
feather forecast !... Show more |
| 104) What do chickens serve at birthday
parties
?
Coop-cakes !... Show more |
| 105) What do you call a crate of
ducks ?
A box
of quackers !... Show more |
| 106) What do owls sing when it is raining ?
'Too
wet to woo' !... Show more |
| 107) Where do birds invest their money ?
In the
stork market !... Show more |
| 108) Teacher: What's a robin?
Fred: A bird that
steals, ma'am.... Show more |
| 109) What do you call a vulture with no
beak?
A head banger.... Show more |
| 110) What's another name for a clever duck ?
A
wise quacker !... Show more |
| 111) What is green and pecks on trees ?
Woody Wood
Pickle !... Show more |
| 112) What's the definition of Polystyrene?
A
plastic parrot!... Show more |
| 113) What kind of bird lays electric eggs ?
A
battery hen !... Show more |
| 114) How do you get a cut-price parrot ?
Plant
bird seed !... Show more |
| 115) What do you call a very rude
bird ?
A
mockingbird !... Show more |
| 116) What is the definition of Robin ?
A bird who
steals !... Show more |
| 117) What do you get from a drunk chicken ?
Scotch
eggs !... Show more |
| 118) What is a parrot's favorite game ?
Hide and
Speak !... Show more |
| 119) What is a parrot's favorite
game?
Hide
and Speak!... Show more |
| 120) What do you call a crazy chicken ?
A cuckoo
cluck !... Show more |
| 121) Why does a rooster watch TV ?
For
hentertainment !... Show more |
| 122) What kind of doctor does a duck
visit?
A
Ducktor.... Show more |
| 123) Where do birds meet for coffee ?
In a
nest-cafe !... Show more |
| 124) How long do
chickens work ?
Around the
cluck !... Show more |
| 125) Why don't chickens like people ?
They beat
eggs !... Show more |
| 126) What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A
carrot!... Show more |
| 127) Which bird is always out of breath ?
A puffin
!... Show more |
| 128) What language do birds speak ?
Pigeon English
!... Show more |
| 129) What birds are found in Portugal ?
Portu-geese
!... Show more |
| 130) What do you call a Scottish parrot ?
A Macaw
!... Show more |
| 131) Why did the rooster run away ?
He was chicken
!... Show more |
| 132) What bird tastes just like butter ?
A stork
!... Show more |
| 133) Which bird ran for President?
H. Ross
Parrot... Show more |
| 134) How do you make a tame duck wild?
Annoy
it.... Show more |
| 135) What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?... Show more |
| 136) What do Scottish owls sing?
Owld Lang
Syne.... Show more |
| 137) What's a parrot's favourite
game?
Monopoly!... Show more |
| 138) What do you give a sick bird ?
Tweetment !... Show more |
| 139) What did the scornful owl say?
Twit twoo.... Show more |
| 140) What kind of bird opens doors ?
A kiwi !... Show more |
| 141) What is the
strongest bird ?
A crane !... Show more |
| 142) What does an educated owl say?
Whom.... Show more |
| 143) What is a polygon ?
A dead parrot !... Show more |
| 144) What do parrots eat ?
Polyfilla !... Show more |
| 145) What is a parrot?
A wordy birdy!... Show more |
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