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BIRD JOKES!

bird JOKES (random)

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri? To show the opossum it could be done.

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY bird JOKES:

 1 - David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and te... More ››
 2 - Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ? Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !... More ››
 3 - What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ? "You scratch my be... More ››
 4 - What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ? 'Dad, dad, look what... More ››
 5 - Q: Why did the chicken say, "Meow, oink, bow-wow, and moo?" A: He was studying foreign languag... More ››
 6 - Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri? To show the opossum it could be done.... More ››
 7 - What's another name for a clever duck ? A wise quacker !... More ››
 8 - A man with a talking parrot is getting married. On the day of the wedding he says to the parrot... More ››
 9 - Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the li... More ››
 10 - A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge outside the tenth floor of a skyscraper. Th... More ››
 11 - How many ducks would there be, if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks, two ducks between two... More ››
 12 - "Look at that speed!" said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their hea... More ››
 13 - What do you get if you cross a giant, hairy monster with a penguin? I don't know but it's a ve... More ››
 14 - What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ? A bird who knocks before del... More ››
 15 - Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls (bagels,... More ››
 16 - What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way ? She was tickled... More ››
 17 - What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal that's always telling you how busy... More ››
 18 - Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons? "He wanted to be a hentertaine... More ››
 19 - What's brown and white and flies all over? Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chain sa... More ››
 20 - What goes 'peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang' ? A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons... More ››
 21 - Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air ? Because eggs were going up... More ››
 22 - Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas??? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."... More ››
 23 - What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ? An alarm cluck !... More ››
 24 - Why does a chicken coop have two doors ? Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!... More ››
 25 - What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? You're not owld enough.... More ››
 26 - What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ? A bird that talks in morse code !... More ››
 27 - What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark ? A bird that will talk you ear off !... More ››
 28 - What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken ? She kicked the bucket !... More ››
 29 - Two owls were playing pool. One said, "Two hits." The other replied, "Two hits to who?"... More ››
 30 - Teacher: What's the definition of a Polygamist? Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!... More ››
 31 - What is the difference between a fly and a bird ? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird !... More ››
 32 - Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage? Pupil: For a parrot to perch on, miss.... More ››
 33 - What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet? P.Cs of eight, P.Cs of eight.... More ››
 34 - What do you get if you cross an eagle with a skunk? A bird that stinks to high heaven.... More ››
 35 - How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely ? With it's sparrowchute !... More ››
 36 - What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath? Polly unsaturated!... More ››
 37 - Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ? Because he didn't have enough guts... More ››
 38 - Why did the chick disappoint his mother ? He wasn't what he was cracked up to be !... More ››
 39 - Why is politics for the birds? Because politiciands always parrot the same old lines!... More ››
 40 - Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ? Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !... More ››
 41 - What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede ? A great walkie-talkie !... More ››
 42 - Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the referee calling fowls... More ››
 43 - What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? Dead.... More ››
 44 - What did the rich socialite's parrot say? Polly want a cracker, with cavier please!... More ››
 45 - Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"? Short John Silver!... More ››
 46 - Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To get to the chick across the street!... More ››
 47 - What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock? Politics... More ››
 48 - How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.... More ››
 49 - What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish ? Tweetie Pie !... More ››
 50 - What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck? A bird that lays down !... More ››
 51 - Why did the chicken cross the road half way ? He wanted to lay it on the line !... More ››
 52 - What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ? A brick-layer !... More ››
 53 - Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years? It was stuffed.... More ››
 54 - Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)... More ››
 55 - What is the definition of a goose ? An animal that grows down as it grows up !... More ››
 56 - Why is a sofa like a roast chicken ? Because they're both full of stuffing !... More ››
 57 - My parrot lays square eggs but can only say one word. What's that? Ouch!... More ››
 58 - What are a parrot's favourite literary characters? Mr Macawber and Pollyanna!... More ››
 59 - What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn ? An eggroll !... More ››
 60 - How can you tell if a parrot is intelligent? It speaks in Polly-syllables!... More ››
 61 - What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek ? Fowl play !... More ››
 62 - What do you get if your budgie flies into the blender ? Shredded Tweet !... More ››
 63 - What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon? They go on peck-nics !... More ››
 64 - Why did the chicken cross the "net" ? It wanted to get to the other site !... More ››
 65 - What happens when geese land in a volcano ? They cook their own gooses !... More ››
 66 - What flies through the jungle singing opera ? The parrots of Penzance !... More ››
 67 - What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework ? A firequaker !... More ››
 68 - What did the parrot say on Independence Day? Polly wants a firecracker!... More ››
 69 - Why did the bird join he air force? He wanted to be a parrot trooper!... More ››
 70 - Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: To prove he wasn't chicken.... More ››
 71 - Why did the chicken cross the playground ? To get to the other slide... More ››
 72 - Why did the chicken end up in the soup ? Because it ran out of cluck !... More ››
 73 - What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A pecking order.... More ››
 74 - How do you get a parrot to talk properly ? Send him to polytechnic !... More ››
 75 - Why do parrots carry umbrellas? So they don't become polly-saturated!... More ››
 76 - How do you stop a rooser crowing on Sunday ? Eat him on Saturday !... More ››
 77 - What happened when the owl lost his voice ? He didn't give a hoot !... More ››
 78 - Is chicken soup good for your health ? Not if you're the chicken !... More ››
 79 - What's the definition of a Parapet? Pet parrot kept by parachutist!... More ››
 80 - What did the parrot say when he saw a duck? Polly want a quacker!... More ››
 81 - What's a parrot's favourite song? I love Parrots in the Springtime!... More ››
 82 - When is the best time to buy budgies ? When they're going cheap !... More ››
 83 - What's got six legs and can fly long distances ? Three swallows !... More ››
 84 - What do you call a bird that lives underground ? A mynah bird !... More ››
 85 - What happens when a hen eats gunpowder ? She lays hand gren-eggs !... More ››
 86 - What birds spend all their time on their knees ? Birds of prey !... More ››
 87 - What happened when the chicken ate cement ? She laid a sidewalk !... More ››
 88 - What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg ? The bombshell !... More ››
 89 - What do you call the place where parrots make films? Pollywood!... More ››
 90 - What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ? Jail-birds !... More ››
 91 - Why did the turkey cross the road ? To prove he wasn't chicken... More ››
 92 - Why did the owl, owl ? Because the woodpecker would peck 'er !... More ››
 93 - Where do the cleverest parrots live? In the brain tree forests!... More ››
 94 - Where do blind parrots go for treatment? The Birds Eye counter!... More ››
 95 - Q: Why do hens lay eggs? A: If they dropped them, they'd break... More ››
 96 - Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!... More ››
 97 - What's the definition of Parity? Two parrots exactly the same!... More ››
 98 - What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg ? It eggs-plodes !... More ››
 99 - What geometric figure is like a runaway parrot? A polygon .... More ››
 100 - What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ? A headbanger !... More ››
 101 - What happens when ducks fly upside down ? They quack up !... More ››
 102 - Why is it easy for chicks to talk ? Because talk is cheep !... More ››
 103 - Why do ducks have webbed feet ? To stamp out forest fires !... More ››
 104 - What is a duck's favorite TV show ? The feather forecast !... More ››
 105 - What do chickens serve at birthday parties ? Coop-cakes !... More ››
 106 - What do you call a crate of ducks ? A box of quackers !... More ››
 107 - What do owls sing when it is raining ? 'Too wet to woo' !... More ››
 108 - Where do birds invest their money ? In the stork market !... More ››
 109 - Teacher: What's a robin? Fred: A bird that steals, ma'am.... More ››
 110 - What do you call a vulture with no beak? A head banger.... More ››
 111 - What is green and pecks on trees ? Woody Wood Pickle !... More ››
 112 - What's the definition of Polystyrene? A plastic parrot!... More ››
 113 - What kind of bird lays electric eggs ? A battery hen !... More ››
 114 - How do you get a cut-price parrot ? Plant bird seed !... More ››
 115 - What do you call a very rude bird ? A mockingbird !... More ››
 116 - What is the definition of Robin ? A bird who steals !... More ››
 117 - What do you get from a drunk chicken ? Scotch eggs !... More ››
 118 - What is a parrot's favorite game ? Hide and Speak !... More ››
 119 - What is a parrot's favorite game? Hide and Speak!... More ››
 120 - What do you call a crazy chicken ? A cuckoo cluck !... More ››
 121 - Why does a rooster watch TV ? For hentertainment !... More ››
 122 - What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A Ducktor.... More ››
 123 - Where do birds meet for coffee ? In a nest-cafe !... More ››
 124 - How long do chickens work ? Around the cluck !... More ››
 125 - Why don't chickens like people ? They beat eggs !... More ››
 126 - What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!... More ››
 127 - Which bird is always out of breath ? A puffin !... More ››
 128 - What language do birds speak ? Pigeon English !... More ››
 129 - What birds are found in Portugal ? Portu-geese !... More ››
 130 - What do you call a Scottish parrot ? A Macaw !... More ››
 131 - Why did the rooster run away ? He was chicken !... More ››
 132 - What bird tastes just like butter ? A stork !... More ››
 133 - Which bird ran for President? H. Ross Parrot... More ››
 134 - How do you make a tame duck wild? Annoy it.... More ››
 135 - What do confused owls say? Too-whit-to-why?... More ››
 136 - What do Scottish owls sing? Owld Lang Syne.... More ››
 137 - What's a parrot's favourite game? Monopoly!... More ››
 138 - What do you give a sick bird ? Tweetment !... More ››
 139 - What did the scornful owl say? Twit twoo.... More ››
 140 - What kind of bird opens doors ? A kiwi !... More ››
 141 - What is the strongest bird ? A crane !... More ››
 142 - What does an educated owl say? Whom.... More ››
 143 - What is a parrot? A wordy birdy!... More ››
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