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The Best Burger Jokes: |
| 1) In what school
subjects does the teacher
say, 'Well done, hamburgers'?
A wide ra... Read On » |
| 2) Why did the pro football player from the
last-place team drop pieces of hamburger... Read On » |
| 3) What are some outstanding hamburger
colleges?
Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstr... Read On » |
| 4) What can you say about Ham Burger and
Chief
Justice Warren Burger?
Ham Burger is... Read On » |
| 5) Why is President Carter important to
Hamburger Land in April?
One the opening da... Read On » |
| 6) Which baseball team is currently the favourite
with hamburger fans?
The Cincinna... Read On » |
| 7) How do we know that hamburgers love classic
music?
They're often found at the Me... Read On » |
| 8) What famous movie did the hamburger meat think
of
when they took it out of the fr... Read On » |
| 9) How can you tell which Burger
Land baseball
pitchers are left-handed?
They're th... Read On » |
| 10) Which political discussions between the
Russians
and Americans keenly interest Bu... Read On » |
| 11) What did the hamburger say when it found out
that most people
liked hamburgers be... Read On » |
| 12) What did they call it when NHL officials
refused to allow a hamburger to play hoc... Read On » |
| 13) Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on
stage?
They give meaty performances - especia... Read On » |
| 14) Name two tennis stars who
are famous in the
hamburger world?
Bjorn Borger and Bi... Read On » |
| 15) What do they call a meeting among the most
brilliant people in Burger Land?
A ME... Read On » |
| 16) Seriously, when the crooked
hamburger took
it on the 1am, where did it go?
Heide... Read On » |
| 17) What did they say about the burger who went
skiing
for the first time?
How the m... Read On » |
| 18) What kind of a pitch
did Sandy Koufax of
the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?
A fast... Read On » |
| 19) Why do the hamburgers
beat the hot dogs at
every sport they play?
Because hot do... Read On » |
| 20) Do hamburgers make good vampires?
No, because
they always find themselves in ghoul... Read On » |
| 21) Why do
burgers laugh when you surround them
with pickles?
Who knows - maybe they... Read On » |
| 22) Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your
fingers?
No, you should eat your fingers... Read On » |
| 23) What do burgers think when they are
surrounded by gherkins?
They think they are... Read On » |
| 24) What great song is associated with
hamburgers and baseball?
'Steak Me Out to the... Read On » |
| 25) Which of our meaty friends are into astrology?
Those that
are born under the sign... Read On » |
| 26) What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who
acted on a TV show?
Welcome back,... Read On » |
| 27) How do the Rolling Stones like their
burgers?
Plain - Rolling Stones gather no mos... Read On » |
| 28) How do you make a hamburger green?
Find a
yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a bl... Read On » |
| 29) When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile
button?
When somebody says, 'Well... Read On » |
| 30) What system do they teach in Hamburger High's
math courses?
The meatric system,... Read On » |
| 31) What do you use to determine if a refrigerated
burger is cold enough?
A thermome... Read On » |
| 32) Where does a burger go on vacation?
The
Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Va... Read On » |
| 33) Why are hamburgers essential to
football?
Because the game is played on a griddle-... Read On » |
| 34) What did they tell the burger who enlisted in
the Army?
You've got no beef, sold... Read On » |
| 35) Which people do the
burgers hate?
The
ones who are always putting the bite on th... Read On » |
| 36) Why can any hamburger run the mile in under
four
minutes?
Because it's a FAST fo... Read On » |
| 37) How far do burgers go in school?
Through
cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!... Read On » |
| 38) What do hamburger workers say on
Monday
morning?
Well, it's back to the old grin... Read On » |
| 39) What do some people have against
cheeseburgers?
They say, 'Burgers can't be cheesy... Read On » |
| 40) What do they say about the noise at the
Burger Land Super Bowl?
It's PAN-demoniu... Read On » |
| 41) When the crooked hamburger took it on the
'lamb', where did it go?
Oh, 'ewe' kno... Read On » |
| 42) Why were the burgers in the
refrigerator
embarrassed?
They saw the salad dressin... Read On » |
| 43) How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land
baseball?
He throws four meatballs!... Read On » |
| 44) What happens when two burgers fall in
love?
They live together in holy meatrimony!... Read On » |
| 45) Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons?
They
won't talk no matter how you grill them!... Read On » |
| 46) How was the
hamburger murdered?
First it
was 'rolled,' then smothered in onions... Read On » |
| 47) Is there a way to make a hamburger do the
Hula?
Sure, order a burger and a shake!... Read On » |
| 48) What did they do to the burger who thought he
was a
rooster?
Cook-a-doodle-do!... Read On » |
| 49) Can a hamburger marry a
hot dog?
Only if
they have a very frank relationship!... Read On » |
| 50) What is the hamburgers' motto?
If at first
you don't succeed, fry, fry again!... Read On » |
| 51) What old-time song is the burgers'
favourite?
'Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!... Read On » |
| 52) When can you count on a hamburger in an
emergency?
When the chips are down!... Read On » |
| 53) Who wins most of the medals for bravery in
Burger
Land?
The meatball heros!... Read On » |
| 54) Why was the burger thrown out of the
Army?
He couldn't pass mustard! (muster)... Read On » |
| 55) What did the hamburger say when it pleaded
'not
guilty'?
I've been flamed!... Read On » |
| 56) Who was the burger's favourite all-time movie
director?
Sizzle B. DeMille!... Read On » |
| 57) Why do hamburgers feel sad at
barbecues?
They get to meet their old flames!... Read On » |
| 58) Why do hamburgers make good
baseball
players?
They're great at the plate!... Read On » |
| 59) How are UFO's related to hamburgers?
Both
are Unidentified Frying Objects!... Read On » |
| 60) Who do hamburgers love on TV?
Archie
Bunker's son-in-law, the meathead!... Read On » |
| 61) Which is the meat patties' least favourite day
of the
week?
Fry-day!... Read On » |
| 62) Can you name two burgers
who are
royalty?
Sir Loin and Burger King!... Read On » |
| 63) How do they prevent crime in hamburger
country?
With burger alarms!... Read On » |
| 64) When do burgers quit their jobs?
The day
they decide to meat LOAF!... Read On » |
| 65) Where can a burger get a great night's
sleep?
On a bed of lettuce!... Read On » |
| 66) What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger
joint?
Fry-by-night!... Read On » |
| 67) Are hamburgers male?
Yes, because they're
boygers, not girlgers!... Read On » |
| 68) What is the hamburgers' most familiar
song?
'Home on the Range'!... Read On » |
| 69) Which meatballs get a little tipsy on
occasion?
The POTTED ones!... Read On » |
| 70) Why aren't burgers too
good at
basketball?
Too many turnovers!... Read On » |
| 71) What song do burgers sing on the
job?
Gristle While You Work!... Read On » |
| 72) When do hamburgers most enjoy
watching
TV?
During PRIME time!... Read On » |
| 73) How do gossipy hamburgers spend their
time?
They chew the fat.... Read On » |
| 74) How does a burger acquire good taste?
With a
little seasoning!... Read On » |
| 75) What kind of girl does a hamburger like?
Any
girl named Patty!... Read On » |
| 76) Do
they really serve burgers in
Transylvania?
Very rare-ly.... Read On » |
| 77) How do you make a cheeseburger sad?
Make it
with blue cheese!... Read On » |
| 78) What is a hamburger's
favourite
story?
Hansel and Gristle!... Read On » |
| 79) Which type of comedy leaves a hamburger
cold?
BITING humour!... Read On » |
| 80) How did the
jury find the
hamburger?
Grill-ty as charred!... Read On » |
| 81) How do we know burgers love young
people?
They're pro-teen!... Read On » |
| 82) How do we know hamburgers have high
IQ's?
They 'loin' fast!... Read On » |
| 83) Which burger is famous for a long
nose?
Cyrano de Burgerac!... Read On » |
| 84) Where do the burgers go on New Year's
Eve?
To a meat ball!... Read On » |
| 85) Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in
baseball?
A double!... Read On » |
| 86) Who is the hamburgers' favourite
actress?
Candice Berger!... Read On » |
| 87) How do you insult a hamburger patty?
Call it
a meatball!... Read On » |
| 88) What kind of baseball do burgers
play?
Ketchup baseball!... Read On » |
| 89) Why do burgers run the gauntlet?
To test
their meattle!... Read On » |
| 90) How do you
make a hamburger
smile?
Pickle it gently!... Read On » |
| 91) Which
burgers are
dishonest?
Cat-burgers! (burglars)... Read On » |
| 92) Who are the hamburgers favourite
people?
Vegetarians!... Read On » |
| 93) Which burgers can tell your fortune?
Medium
burgers!... Read On » |
| 94) What do some burger eaters have?
A Hardee
appetite!... Read On » |
| 95) Who can beat any burger at golf?
Any LINKS
sausage!... Read On » |
| 96) Where does a burger feel at home?
On the
range!... Read On » |
| 97) Which burgers love to act?
Ham-burgers!... Read On » |