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bus JOKES (random)

A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. There's no room,' they said. 'It's full up!' 'But you must let me on!' shouted the man. 'Why, what's so special about you?' they asked. I'm the driver,' replied the man.

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 1 - Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, y... More ››
 2 - What have I got in my hands? A double decker bus! You looked!... More ››
 3 - What "bus" crossed the ocean? Columbus.... More ››
 4 - A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little do... More ››
 5 - As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in... More ››
 6 - A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. There's no room,'... More ››
 7 - 'Is everyone in the bus?' asked the driver before he closed the door. 'No,' called a lady, '... More ››
 8 - Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the fro... More ››
 9 - Teacher: Tommy Russell, you're late again. Tommy: Sorry, sir. It's my bus - it's always coming l... More ››
 10 - When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs? I prefer to ride on to... More ››
 11 - Janet: What's the difference between a cake and a school bus ? Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm... More ››
 12 - Bus passenger: I'd like a ticket to New York, please. Ticket seller: By Buffalo? Bus passenger... More ››
 13 - Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today? No. Is there a strike? No,... More ››
 14 - Sam left work after a tiring day. 'Take the bus home,' suggested a friend. 'My mother would only... More ››
 15 - Did you say that you fell over fifty feet but didn't hurt yourself? Yes - I was trying to get... More ››
 16 - Do buses and trains run on time? Usually, yes. No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains... More ››
 17 - What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold? A bus driver knows the stops, and a col... More ››
 18 - What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk? I don't know but it could always get a... More ››
 19 - Q: What is a bus ? A: A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when... More ››
 20 - What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold? One knows the stops, the other stops th... More ››
 21 - Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well, I won't stand in yo... More ››
 22 - Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York? Driver: Which part? Passenger: All of me, of cou... More ››
 23 - Conductor, this bus was very slow! Oh, I expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!... More ››
 24 - Why didn't anyone take the school bus to school? I wouldn't fit through the door.... More ››
 25 - Does this bus stop at the river? If it doesn't there'll be a very big splash.... More ››
 26 - Which end of a bus is it best to get off? It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.... More ››
 27 - What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ? The deceased !... More ››
 28 - Conductor, do you stop at the Savoy Hotel? I should say not, on my salary!... More ››
 29 - Why couldn't the skeleton pay his bus fare? Because he was skint.... More ››
 30 - How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar? Throw it under a bus.... More ››
 31 - Why did the bat miss the bus? Because he hung around for too long.... More ››
 32 - Have you seen the bus website? Yes - it's just the ticket!... More ››
 33 - How do eels get around the seabed? They go by octobus.... More ››
 34 - Why did the bus stop? Because it saw the zebra crossing.... More ››
 35 - What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head? Dead.... More ››
 36 - What do monsters play when they are in the bus? Squash.... More ››
 37 - What did the bus conductor say to the frog? Hop on.... More ››
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