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BUSINESS JOKES!

business JOKES (random)

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are.
The first man was an engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government Worker.
To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, "T-square, do your stuff!".
T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his dog could do better.
He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff!".
Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his dog could do better.
He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff!".
Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured ex actly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was good.
The three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your dog do?".
The Government Worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff!".
Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation and went home on sick leave.

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY business JOKES:

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 2 - Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and w... More ››
 3 - Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one s... More ››
 4 - A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spot... More ››
 5 - An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business... More ››
 6 - A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found a taker. "I think this one will r... More ››
 7 - Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's off... More ››
 8 - American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with ju... More ››
 9 - One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street per... More ››
 10 - There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent dam... More ››
 11 - A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel has died of thirst. He's... More ››
 12 - An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat ra... More ››
 13 - Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second... More ››
 14 - The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses... More ››
 15 - When Abraham Liebowitz gets to school he discovers that he is the only Jewish kid in the class... More ››
 16 - ttle Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something differe... More ››
 17 - The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses t... More ››
 18 - A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was... More ››
 19 - The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and l... More ››
 20 - The Americans and Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and lon... More ››
 21 - A HR Manager, his Assistant, an old woman and her young daughter are travelling in a train and durin... More ››
 22 - Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their... More ››
 23 - These two construction workers always noticed that their boss always left early on Fridays. So... More ››
 24 - A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down... More ››
 25 - A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and... More ››
 26 - Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking... More ››
 27 - The farmer goes to town one day and happens to run into his old pal the tractor salesman. "Ho... More ››
 28 - On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the fact... More ››
 29 - Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was bein... More ››
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 32 - There are three beggars begging on Wall Street. The first beggar wrote "Beggar" on his broken... More ››
 33 - Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The compa... More ››
 34 - When the office photo-copies began to look faint, the office manager called in a local repair se... More ››
 35 - An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At... More ››
 36 - An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At... More ››
 37 - The boss called one of his employees into the office. "Rob," he said, "you've been with the... More ››
 38 - Two government economists were returning home from a field meeting. As with all government trave... More ››
 39 - According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If any... More ››
 40 - A frog goes into the bank and asks the teller for a loan. The teller tells the frog to see Mr.... More ››
 41 - A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occas... More ››
 42 - A young executive was leaving the office late one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in fro... More ››
 43 - Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss wa... More ››
 44 - Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept b... More ››
 45 - A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill... More ››
 46 - A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driv... More ››
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 48 - A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly... More ››
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 50 - After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse. O... More ››
 51 - A Japanese guy is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Ja... More ››
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 59 - A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sale... More ››
 60 - Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his d... More ››
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 67 - An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever bee... More ››
 68 - Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?"... More ››
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 77 - An Irishman goes for a job on a building site. The man says, "Can you brew tea?" The Irish... More ››
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 79 - When Bernard got fired from his last job they were really tough. They made him hand back his key... More ››
 80 - Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." Emp... More ››
 81 - 'I'm very sad to announce this morning, girls, that Miss Jones has decided to retire,' said the... More ››
 82 - When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men he said he coul... More ››
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 88 - "Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?" "I ought to be able to. I've had... More ››
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 90 - Monster: Stick 'em down. Ghost: Don't you mean, stick 'em up. Monster: No wonder I'm not makin... More ››
 91 - What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees? If at first you don't succeed - you're... More ››
 92 - Q: What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors? A: A superior... More ››
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 94 - Mom and Dad are in the iron and steel business. She does the ironing and he does the stealing.... More ››
 95 - What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory? You can hear a cough drop.... More ››
 96 - Why did the electrician close early on Mondays? Because business was very light.... More ››
 97 - Why did the doughnut maker retire? He was fed up with the hole business.... More ››
 98 - Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time? A: A dependent Claus.... More ››
 99 - My husband's business is rather up-and-down - he makes yo-yos.... More ››
 100 - What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.... More ››
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