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business JOKES (random)

The Ten Commandments Of Employment If it rings, put it on hold.
If it clunks, call the repairman.
If it whistles, ignore it.
If it's a friend, stop work and chat.
If it's the boss, look busy.
If it talks, take notes.
If it's handwritten, type it.
if it's typed, copy it.
If it's copied, file it.
If it's Friday, forget it!

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 1 - A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an o... More ››
 2 - Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and w... More ››
 3 - Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one s... More ››
 4 - A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spot... More ››
 5 - An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business... More ››
 6 - A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found a taker. "I think this one will r... More ››
 7 - Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's off... More ››
 8 - American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with ju... More ››
 9 - One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street per... More ››
 10 - There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent dam... More ››
 11 - A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel has died of thirst. He's... More ››
 12 - An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat ra... More ››
 13 - Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second... More ››
 14 - The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses... More ››
 15 - When Abraham Liebowitz gets to school he discovers that he is the only Jewish kid in the class... More ››
 16 - ttle Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something differe... More ››
 17 - The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses t... More ››
 18 - A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was... More ››
 19 - The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and l... More ››
 20 - The Americans and Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and lon... More ››
 21 - A HR Manager, his Assistant, an old woman and her young daughter are travelling in a train and durin... More ››
 22 - Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their... More ››
 23 - These two construction workers always noticed that their boss always left early on Fridays. So... More ››
 24 - A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down... More ››
 25 - A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and... More ››
 26 - Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking... More ››
 27 - The farmer goes to town one day and happens to run into his old pal the tractor salesman. "Ho... More ››
 28 - On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the fact... More ››
 29 - Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was bein... More ››
 30 - This guy is selling three parrots. Another guy who wants to buy a parrot approaches him and asks... More ››
 31 - A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted woo... More ››
 32 - There are three beggars begging on Wall Street. The first beggar wrote "Beggar" on his broken... More ››
 33 - Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The compa... More ››
 34 - When the office photo-copies began to look faint, the office manager called in a local repair se... More ››
 35 - An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At... More ››
 36 - An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At... More ››
 37 - The boss called one of his employees into the office. "Rob," he said, "you've been with the... More ››
 38 - Two government economists were returning home from a field meeting. As with all government trave... More ››
 39 - According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If any... More ››
 40 - A frog goes into the bank and asks the teller for a loan. The teller tells the frog to see Mr.... More ››
 41 - A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occas... More ››
 42 - A young executive was leaving the office late one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in fro... More ››
 43 - Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss wa... More ››
 44 - Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept b... More ››
 45 - A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill... More ››
 46 - A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driv... More ››
 47 - The social worker asked the bartender "What's the difference between your job and mine?" The... More ››
 48 - A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly... More ››
 49 - A young businessman rented a beautiful office and furnished it with antiques. However, no busine... More ››
 50 - After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse. O... More ››
 51 - A Japanese guy is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Ja... More ››
 52 - This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an... More ››
 53 - A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray... More ››
 54 - A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and... More ››
 55 - A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him... More ››
 56 - Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy... More ››
 57 - The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don't know. Those... More ››
 58 - The Ten Commandments Of Employment If it rings, put it on hold. If it clunks, call the rep... More ››
 59 - A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sale... More ››
 60 - Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his d... More ››
 61 - "The fees for withdrawing money from your ATM machines are expected to double, even triple. Yo... More ››
 62 - Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stops by his office. As she walks in... More ››
 63 - The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple... More ››
 64 - An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order house the following: "Please send me one of those... More ››
 65 - The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secre... More ››
 66 - "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, plea... More ››
 67 - An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever bee... More ››
 68 - Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?"... More ››
 69 - A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with... More ››
 70 - A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously... More ››
 71 - An organization is like a tree full of monkeys... all on different limbs,... at different le... More ››
 72 - The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held i... More ››
 73 - A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathe... More ››
 74 - This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy." The frie... More ››
 75 - An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, "Did you get my mes... More ››
 76 - There was once a high-powered businessman who insisted on taking his three secretaries everywher... More ››
 77 - An Irishman goes for a job on a building site. The man says, "Can you brew tea?" The Irish... More ››
 78 - Boss: "I've decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is import... More ››
 79 - When Bernard got fired from his last job they were really tough. They made him hand back his key... More ››
 80 - Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." Emp... More ››
 81 - 'I'm very sad to announce this morning, girls, that Miss Jones has decided to retire,' said the... More ››
 82 - When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men he said he coul... More ››
 83 - Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want.... More ››
 84 - Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey sui... More ››
 85 - "I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day an... More ››
 86 - INTERVIEWER to job applicant: "Do you think you could come up with any reason you want this jo... More ››
 87 - Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is alw... More ››
 88 - "Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?" "I ought to be able to. I've had... More ››
 89 - Another friend of mine is a very successful businessman. He started with five thousand pounds -... More ››
 90 - Monster: Stick 'em down. Ghost: Don't you mean, stick 'em up. Monster: No wonder I'm not makin... More ››
 91 - What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees? If at first you don't succeed - you're... More ››
 92 - Q: What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors? A: A superior... More ››
 93 - I'm always delighted when people stick their noses in my business - my company makes paper tis... More ››
 94 - Mom and Dad are in the iron and steel business. She does the ironing and he does the stealing.... More ››
 95 - What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory? You can hear a cough drop.... More ››
 96 - Why did the electrician close early on Mondays? Because business was very light.... More ››
 97 - Why did the doughnut maker retire? He was fed up with the hole business.... More ››
 98 - Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time? A: A dependent Claus.... More ››
 99 - My husband's business is rather up-and-down - he makes yo-yos.... More ››
 100 - What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.... More ››
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