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The Best Cat Jokes: |
| 1) For all of you with teenagers or who have had
teenagers, or a... Show more |
| 2) Little Tim
was in the garden filling in a hole
when his neigh... Show more |
| 3) A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed
me, love me,... Show more |
| 4) A woman is walking in the park when she sees a man
playing ches... Show more |
| 5) "Doctor," said the
patient, "I need help! I
can't stop acting... Show more |
| 6) A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. "Excuse
me", he said... Show more |
| 7) Why are cats longer
in the evening than they
are in the morni... Show more |
| 8) There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out.
How
many were... Show more |
| 9) What did the cat do when he swallowed some
cheese ?
He waite... Show more |
| 10) Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her
kittens? - A: Becau... Show more |
| 11) What noise does a cat make going down the highway
?
Miaooooo... Show more |
| 12) How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling
?
She's got t... Show more |
| 13) What do you get if you cross
a cat and a
gorilla ?
An animal... Show more |
| 14) Teacher: Name four members of the cat
family
Pupil: Daddy cat,... Show more |
| 15) When you call a dog, they usually come to
you.
When you call... Show more |
| 16) Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge
?
Because i... Show more |
| 17) What do you call a black cat than can spring up to
a six foot... Show more |
| 18) How do cats
eat spaghetti ?
The same as
everyone else - they... Show more |
| 19) What do you call a cat that has just
eaten a
whole duck ?
A... Show more |
| 20) Q: What did the female cat say to the male cat? -
A: You're the... Show more |
| 21) Q: Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise?
- A: It's... Show more |
| 22) Q: What do you call a cat when he first wakes up
with the alarm... Show more |
| 23) How do cats eat spaghetti ?
The same as
everyone else - they p... Show more |
| 24) How do you know that cats are sensitive
creatures?
They never... Show more |
| 25) Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin
?
There was some mo... Show more |
| 26) Why did the cat join the Red Cross ?
Because
she wanted to be... Show more |
| 27) Q: What do you call the loser in a hissing,
scratching cat fi... Show more |
| 28) What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on
the sea ?... Show more |
| 29) What did the black cat say
to the fish
?
I've got a bone to... Show more |
| 30) Q: What do you call a
cat who's joined the
Red Cross? - A: A... Show more |
| 31) What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle
of
vinegar ?... Show more |
| 32) Why did the cat sleep under the
car
?
Because she wanted to... Show more |
| 33) What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes
to
swim ?... Show more |
| 34) Why is a crazy marmalade cat like
a biscuit
?
They are both... Show more |
| 35) What do you get if you cross a cat
with Father
Christmas ?
S... Show more |
| 36) Why do black cats never shave ?
Because 8 out
of 10 cats prefe... Show more |
| 37) What kind of cat should you take into the
desert ?
A first a... Show more |
| 38) What works in a circus, walks a
tightrope and
has claws ?
An... Show more |
| 39) Q: When is a bad time to cross a black cat?
A:
When you are a... Show more |
| 40) Q: Where did the kittens go on their class
trip? - A: To a me... Show more |
| 41) Q: Which game did the cat want to play with the
mouse? - A: C... Show more |
| 42) What is another way to describe
a cat ?
A
heat seeking missi... Show more |
| 43) Q: Why do cats eat fur balls? - A: Because they
love a good
g... Show more |
| 44) What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool
?
She had mitten... Show more |
| 45) Q: What kind
of work does a weak cat do? - A:
Light mouse wor... Show more |
| 46) Brother: Did you put the cat out ? Sister: Why, is
it on
fire... Show more |
| 47) What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree
?
A cat-a-logue... Show more |
| 48) What is another way to describe a cat ?
A heat
seeking missile... Show more |
| 49) How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold
?
He has cat-arrh... Show more |
| 50) On what should you mount a statue of your cat
?
A caterpillar... Show more |
| 51) What's furry, has whiskers and
chases outlaws
?
A posse cat... Show more |
| 52) Which big cat should
you never play cards with
?
A cheetah... Show more |
| 53) Why was the cat so small ?
Because it only ate
condensed milk... Show more |
| 54) Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because
of the tree bark... Show more |
| 55) If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
An
a-cat-emy award.... Show more |
| 56) What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot
?
A carrot !... Show more |
| 57) What did the cat say when he lost all his money
?
I'm paw !... Show more |
| 58) Q: What's every cat's favorite song? - A: Three
Blind Mice!... Show more |
| 59) Q: What do
you call a cat who eats lemons? -
A: A sourpuss!... Show more |
| 60) Why are black cats such good singers?
They're
very mewsical.... Show more |
| 61) Q: Why couldn't the cat speak?
A: The dog
taped his mouth.... Show more |
| 62) What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have ?
A
catastrophe !... Show more |
| 63) Who was the most powerful
cat in China
?
Chairman Miaow !... Show more |
| 64) When is it unlucky to see a black cat ?
When
your a mouse !... Show more |
| 65) Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day?
- A:
Mice cream... Show more |
| 66) Q: What kind of
cats lay around the house? -
A: Car-pets!... Show more |
| 67) What is the cat's favourite TV
show ?
The
evening mews !... Show more |
| 68) Why do tomcats fight ?
Because they like
raising a stink !... Show more |
| 69) What do cat
actors say on stage ?
Tabby or
not tabby !... Show more |
| 70) Q: Where do cats write down notes? - A: Scratch
Paper!... Show more |
| 71) What does a cat call a bowl of mice ?
A
purrfect meal !... Show more |
| 72) Q: What do you call it when a cat bites? - A:
Catnip!... Show more |
| 73) Q: Why does everyone love cats? - A: They're
purr-fect!... Show more |
| 74) Q: What's a cat's second favorite food? - A:
Spa-catti!... Show more |
| 75) Q: What do you call it when a cat stops? -
A:
A paws!... Show more |
| 76) What is cleverer than a talking cat ?
A
spelling bee !... Show more |
| 77) What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?
Puss in
boots !... Show more |
| 78) What is a black cat's favourite TV show
?
Miami Mice !... Show more |
| 79) What do cat actors say on stage ?
Tabby or not
tabby !... Show more |
| 80) Q: How do cats buy things? - A: From a
cat-alogue!... Show more |
| 81) When the cat's away.....?
The house smells
better !... Show more |
| 82) Q: What's a cat's favorite food? - A:
Petatoes!... Show more |
| 83) What cat purrs more than any other ?
Purrsians
!... Show more |
| 84) What do cats read in the morning ?
Mewspapers
!... Show more |
| 85) What looks like half a cat ?
The other half
!... Show more |
| 86) How is cat food sold ?
Usually purr can !... Show more |
| 87) What is an octopus?
An eight-sided cat.... Show more |
| 88) Why do cats chase birds ?
For a lark !... Show more |
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