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Accountant
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Book title
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Car and train
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Dead and dying
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Hair and bald
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Random Christmas Jokes!

A football supporter's favourite Christmas song? 'Yule never walk alone'



 
     
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The Best Christmas Jokes:
1) Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten... Show more
2) It was Christmas eve, and Santa was really busy making his li... Show more
3) I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driv... Show more
4) 'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and t... Show more
5) 'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and t... Show more
6) Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and c... Show more
7) Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf... Show more
8) My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas... Show more
9) Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on m... Show more
10) Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket... Show more
11) Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send m... Show more
12) Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsi... Show more
13) I've had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas... Show more
14) Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodil... Show more
15) Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf... Show more
16) Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green... Show more
17) Father Christmas:I like the story about the girl who steals f... Show more
18) Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Chris... Show more
19) Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in t... Show more
20) What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train se... Show more
21) Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it strai... Show more
22) Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't... Show more
23) A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go p... Show more
24) What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he com... Show more
25) Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all... Show more
26) Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell! Just t... Show more
27) Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the... Show more
28) What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the... Show more
29) Why does Santa Claus only have seven reindeer? Because Pran... Show more
30) Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proct... Show more
31) I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beauty's s... Show more
32) I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but wh... Show more
33) ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?... Show more
34) What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their... Show more
35) What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given fo... Show more
36) Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match? Bec... Show more
37) What do gnomes fear most about Christmas? They're afraid Fat... Show more
38) Can I have a broken drum for Christmas? The best thing you cou... Show more
39) What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?... Show more
40) Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage? Because it has l... Show more
41) What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while del... Show more
42) Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why... Show more
43) What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a... Show more
44) Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Father Christmas Doctor: You're... Show more
45) I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are small. But they used to be... Show more
46) Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ? Because he... Show more
47) One time Father Christmas lost his underpants. That's how he g... Show more
48) JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus? MIKE: We'll hav... Show more
49) ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What sho... Show more
50) If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be c... Show more
51) Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a litt... Show more
52) How to cats greet each other at Christmas ? "A furry merry C... Show more
53) Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden ? Because... Show more
54) What do you have in December that you don't have in any other... Show more
55) Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats wh... Show more
56) What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ? My pop... Show more
57) Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ? Because they both h... Show more
58) What's fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels? Father Christma... Show more
59) Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ? No you can have turkey l... Show more
60) Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ? He had n... Show more
61) What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detectiv... Show more
62) What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Ev... Show more
63) "Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?" "He said i... Show more
64) Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys? Santa... Show more
65) What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?... Show more
66) What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ? Best viciou... Show more
67) Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop t... Show more
68) What reindeer can jump higher than a house? They all can! Hous... Show more
69) Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most... Show more
70) What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes?... Show more
71) What's a hairdressers's favourite Christmas song? 'Oh comb all... Show more
72) Did you hear about the stupid turkey? It was looking forward t... Show more
73) A football supporter's favourite Christmas song? 'Yule never... Show more
74) Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low... Show more
75) Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball ? It was a... Show more
76) Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low e... Show more
77) How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ? A merry Christm... Show more
78) How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ? Chick to... Show more
79) Who is never hungry at Christmas ? The turkey - he's always st... Show more
80) What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ? It's Christmas... Show more
81) What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ? A phanto... Show more
82) Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations? Santa... Show more
83) A rabbit's favourite Christmas song? 'Lettuce with a gladsome... Show more
84) What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells... Show more
85) What do you give a train driver for Christmas ? Platform sho... Show more
86) Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys? Because they soot... Show more
87) Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ? Your tee... Show more
88) What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof? Tired a... Show more
89) What's the most popular wine at Christmas? "I don't like sprou... Show more
90) What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ? Santapplause... Show more
91) Did you hear about Dracula's Christmas party ? It was a scream... Show more
92) Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ? Santa Jaws... Show more
93) Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents? Elephanta Claus... Show more
94) How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid... Show more
95) How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!... Show more
96) What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ? Grave-y !... Show more
97) What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle.... Show more
98) What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ? Fancy a bite ?... Show more
99) How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick !... Show more
100) What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle.... Show more
101) What game do reindeer play in their stalls? Stable-tennis!... Show more
102) How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ? Stacks !... Show more
103) What's Scrooge's favourite Christmas game? Mean-opoly.... Show more
104) What does Father Christmas call his money ? Iced lolly ?... Show more
105) What is the cow's holiday greeting? Mooooory Christmas!... Show more
106) Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ? Santa Paws !... Show more
107) What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song? Jungle bells.... Show more
108) How do you make a slow reindeer fast ? Don't feed it !... Show more
109) What bird has wings but cannot fly ? Roast turkey !... Show more
110) What's Christmas called in England ? Yule Britannia !... Show more
111) Why is it so cold at Christmas? It's in Decembrrrrr.... Show more
112) What happens to you at Christmas ? Yule be happy !... Show more
113) What can Santa give away and still keep? A cold.... Show more
114) What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.... Show more
115) What does Santa say when he is sick? OH OH NO!... Show more

 

 

 

 

 

 
    | Total Jokes: 29850 | Last Update: 2008-07-23 | Privacy Policy