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Random Christmas Jokes!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ? Santa Jaws !


 
     
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The Best Christmas Jokes:
1) It was Christmas eve, and Santa was really busy making his list and checking it t... Read On »
2) My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you g... Read On »
3) What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle.... Read On »
4) Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an... Read On »
5) Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat... Read On »
6) What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?... Read On »
7) Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Father Christmas Doctor: You're suffering from Clau... Read On »
8) How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ? A merry Christmas to ewe... Read On »
9) Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her m... Read On »
10) I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came sk... Read On »
11) 'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward!... Read On »
12) 'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward!... Read On »
13) Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow! I'm... Read On »
14) Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one where the... Read On »
15) Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket. Box office attend... Read On »
16) Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door. Yo... Read On »
17) Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge? G... Read On »
18) I've had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas! Father Christmas:... Read On »
19) Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Ch... Read On »
20) Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one about the... Read On »
21) Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a... Read On »
22) Father Christmas:I like the story about the girl who steals from the rich and giv... Read On »
23) Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'... Read On »
24) Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in the middle of a swamp... Read On »
25) What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for... Read On »
26) Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank. Wh... Read On »
27) Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep. Try lying on... Read On »
28) A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have... Read On »
29) What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Chri... Read On »
30) Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell! Just take these pills - an... Read On »
31) Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean. That's proba... Read On »
32) Why does Santa Claus only have seven reindeer? Because Prancer moved in with a... Read On »
33) Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? Its... Read On »
34) I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beauty's skin deep then they w... Read On »
35) I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but when they cry the tear... Read On »
36) ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve? ELF NO. 2: Okay e... Read On »
37) What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window? "L... Read On »
38) What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas? It wa... Read On »
39) Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match? Because they're both st... Read On »
40) What do gnomes fear most about Christmas? They're afraid Father Christmas will g... Read On »
41) Can I have a broken drum for Christmas? The best thing you could have asked for. Y... Read On »
42) What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ? Thanks, I'll never... Read On »
43) Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage? Because it has long-distance runners... Read On »
44) What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ?... Read On »
45) Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not? Because it wa... Read On »
46) What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ? Santa Cla... Read On »
47) I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are small. But they used to be lumberjacks on a mu... Read On »
48) Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ? Because he didn't want to be r... Read On »
49) One time Father Christmas lost his underpants. That's how he got the name Saint Kn... Read On »
50) JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus? MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas wi... Read On »
51) ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do? SANTA: U... Read On »
52) If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called? A subordina... Read On »
53) Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a little water ends both o... Read On »
54) How to cats greet each other at Christmas ? "A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew... Read On »
55) Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden ? Because he likes to hoe, ho... Read On »
56) What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ? The letter... Read On »
57) Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck... Read On »
58) What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ? My pop is bigger than yours... Read On »
59) Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ? Because they both have "Sandy claws" !... Read On »
60) What's fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels? Father Christmas on roller skates!... Read On »
61) Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ? No you can have turkey like everyone else !... Read On »
62) Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ? He had no body to go with !... Read On »
63) What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ? Santa Clues !... Read On »
64) What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ? Black mail !... Read On »
65) "Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?" "He said it was too tight."... Read On »
66) Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys? Santa's little Elvis.... Read On »
67) What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ? A pineapple !... Read On »
68) What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ? Best vicious of the season... Read On »
69) Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles !... Read On »
70) What reindeer can jump higher than a house? They all can! Houses can't jump!... Read On »
71) Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most? "Rude"olph... Read On »
72) What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes? No-eyed-deer!... Read On »
73) What's a hairdressers's favourite Christmas song? 'Oh comb all ye faithful'... Read On »
74) Did you hear about the stupid turkey? It was looking forward to Christmas!... Read On »
75) A football supporter's favourite Christmas song? 'Yule never walk alone'... Read On »
76) Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.... Read On »
77) Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball ? It was a moth ball !... Read On »
78) Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.... Read On »
79) How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ? Chick to chick !... Read On »
80) Who is never hungry at Christmas ? The turkey - he's always stuffed !... Read On »
81) What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ? It's Christmas, Eve !... Read On »
82) What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ? A phantomime !... Read On »
83) Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations? Santa Clues.... Read On »
84) A rabbit's favourite Christmas song? 'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'... Read On »
85) What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !... Read On »
86) What do you give a train driver for Christmas ? Platform shoes !... Read On »
87) Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys? Because they soot him!... Read On »
88) Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ? Your teeth !... Read On »
89) What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof? Tired arms!... Read On »
90) What's the most popular wine at Christmas? "I don't like sprouts!"... Read On »
91) What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ? Santapplause !... Read On »
92) Did you hear about Dracula's Christmas party ? It was a scream !... Read On »
93) Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ? Santa Jaws !... Read On »
94) Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents? Elephanta Claus !... Read On »
95) How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid.... Read On »
96) How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!... Read On »
97) What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ? Grave-y !... Read On »
98) What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ? Fancy a bite ?... Read On »
99) How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick !... Read On »
100) What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle.... Read On »
101) What game do reindeer play in their stalls? Stable-tennis!... Read On »
102) How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ? Stacks !... Read On »
103) What's Scrooge's favourite Christmas game? Mean-opoly.... Read On »
104) What does Father Christmas call his money ? Iced lolly ?... Read On »
105) What is the cow's holiday greeting? Mooooory Christmas!... Read On »
106) Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ? Santa Paws !... Read On »
107) What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song? Jungle bells.... Read On »
108) How do you make a slow reindeer fast ? Don't feed it !... Read On »
109) What bird has wings but cannot fly ? Roast turkey !... Read On »
110) What's Christmas called in England ? Yule Britannia !... Read On »
111) Why is it so cold at Christmas? It's in Decembrrrrr.... Read On »
112) What happens to you at Christmas ? Yule be happy !... Read On »
113) What can Santa give away and still keep? A cold.... Read On »
114) What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.... Read On »
115) What does Santa say when he is sick? OH OH NO!... Read On »

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