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| The Best Christmas Jokes: | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 1) It was Christmas eve, and Santa was really busy making his list and checking it t... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2) My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you g... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3) What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4) Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5) Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 6) What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 7) Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Father Christmas Doctor: You're suffering from Clau... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 8) How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ? A merry Christmas to ewe... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 9) Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her m... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 10) I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came sk... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 11) 'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 12) 'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 13) Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow! I'm... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 14) Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one where the... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 15) Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket. Box office attend... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 16) Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door. Yo... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 17) Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge? G... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 18) I've had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas! Father Christmas:... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 19) Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Ch... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 20) Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one about the... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 21) Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 22) Father Christmas:I like the story about the girl who steals from the rich and giv... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 23) Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 24) Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in the middle of a swamp... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 25) What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 26) Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank. Wh... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 27) Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep. Try lying on... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 28) A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 29) What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Chri... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 30) Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell! Just take these pills - an... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 31) Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean. That's proba... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 32) Why does Santa Claus only have seven reindeer? Because Prancer moved in with a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 33) Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? Its... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 34) I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beauty's skin deep then they w... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 35) I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but when they cry the tear... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 36) ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve? ELF NO. 2: Okay e... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 37) What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window? "L... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 38) What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas? It wa... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 39) Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match? Because they're both st... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 40) What do gnomes fear most about Christmas? They're afraid Father Christmas will g... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 41) Can I have a broken drum for Christmas? The best thing you could have asked for. Y... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 42) What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ? Thanks, I'll never... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 43) Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage? Because it has long-distance runners... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 44) What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 45) Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not? Because it wa... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 46) What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ? Santa Cla... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 47) I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are small. But they used to be lumberjacks on a mu... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 48) Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ? Because he didn't want to be r... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 49) One time Father Christmas lost his underpants. That's how he got the name Saint Kn... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 50) JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus? MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas wi... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 51) ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do? SANTA: U... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 52) If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called? A subordina... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 53) Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a little water ends both o... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 54) How to cats greet each other at Christmas ? "A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 55) Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden ? Because he likes to hoe, ho... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 56) What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ? The letter... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 57) Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 58) What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ? My pop is bigger than yours... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 59) Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ? Because they both have "Sandy claws" !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 60) What's fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels? Father Christmas on roller skates!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 61) Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ? No you can have turkey like everyone else !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 62) Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ? He had no body to go with !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 63) What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ? Santa Clues !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 64) What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ? Black mail !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 65) "Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?" "He said it was too tight."... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 66) Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys? Santa's little Elvis.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 67) What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ? A pineapple !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 68) What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ? Best vicious of the season... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 69) Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 70) What reindeer can jump higher than a house? They all can! Houses can't jump!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 71) Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most? "Rude"olph... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 72) What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes? No-eyed-deer!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 73) What's a hairdressers's favourite Christmas song? 'Oh comb all ye faithful'... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 74) Did you hear about the stupid turkey? It was looking forward to Christmas!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 75) A football supporter's favourite Christmas song? 'Yule never walk alone'... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 76) Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 77) Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball ? It was a moth ball !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 78) Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 79) How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ? Chick to chick !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 80) Who is never hungry at Christmas ? The turkey - he's always stuffed !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 81) What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ? It's Christmas, Eve !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 82) What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ? A phantomime !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 83) Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations? Santa Clues.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 84) A rabbit's favourite Christmas song? 'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 85) What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 86) What do you give a train driver for Christmas ? Platform shoes !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 87) Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys? Because they soot him!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 88) Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ? Your teeth !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 89) What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof? Tired arms!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 90) What's the most popular wine at Christmas? "I don't like sprouts!"... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 91) What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ? Santapplause !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 92) Did you hear about Dracula's Christmas party ? It was a scream !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 93) Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ? Santa Jaws !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 94) Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents? Elephanta Claus !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 95) How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 96) How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 97) What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ? Grave-y !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 98) What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ? Fancy a bite ?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 99) How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 100) What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 101) What game do reindeer play in their stalls? Stable-tennis!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 102) How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ? Stacks !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 103) What's Scrooge's favourite Christmas game? Mean-opoly.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 104) What does Father Christmas call his money ? Iced lolly ?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 105) What is the cow's holiday greeting? Mooooory Christmas!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 106) Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ? Santa Paws !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 107) What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song? Jungle bells.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 108) How do you make a slow reindeer fast ? Don't feed it !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 109) What bird has wings but cannot fly ? Roast turkey !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 110) What's Christmas called in England ? Yule Britannia !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 111) Why is it so cold at Christmas? It's in Decembrrrrr.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 112) What happens to you at Christmas ? Yule be happy !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 113) What can Santa give away and still keep? A cold.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 114) What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 115) What does Santa say when he is sick? OH OH NO!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
