Random Computer Jokes! |
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Another customer called Tech Support to say
her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the
unit,
plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something
to
happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power
switch, she
asked "What power switch?"
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Computer Jokes on your site! |
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The Best Computer Jokes: |
| 1) Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself
face to face with... Show more |
| 2) Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help
you?"
"Yes, well... Show more |
| 3) A Engineer and an Programmer are sitting next
to each other o... Show more |
| 4) This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer
load of
computers... Show more |
| 5) Jesus and Satan got into an
argument over
which of them was t... Show more |
| 6) A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a
Branch
Manager... Show more |
| 7) A Software Engineer, a
Hardware Engineer and a Branch
Manager... Show more |
| 8) A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill
Gates, the
Pope, and a pizza de... Show more |
| 9) Comments made
by Programmers when their
programs don't work:... Show more |
| 10) Dear God: Yesterday was an awful day for
me...
My husband ra... Show more |
| 11) Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in
an IT company.... Show more |
| 12) After buying a PC from a dealer of shady shady
repute, the luck... Show more |
| 13) Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited
to have dinner w... Show more |
| 14) A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer
scientist
were arg... Show more |
| 15) A programmer was walking along the beach when
he found a lamp.... Show more |
| 16) Customer: "I've been doing risk analysis by
hand for
five yea... Show more |
| 17) There are three engineers in a car; an
electrical
engineer, a... Show more |
| 18) One of Microsoft's finest
technicans was
drafted and sent to... Show more |
| 19) Young Judy, the editor of a trivia
publication, was having tr... Show more |
| 20) Dear Boss,
I hope I haven't misunderstood
your instructions. B... Show more |
| 21) A
tech support employee once received a
call from a disgruntl... Show more |
| 22) While trying to diagnose a
problem over
the phone I told the... Show more |
| 23) They say that the new super computer
knows
everything. A skep... Show more |
| 24) A caller, perplexed that his new desktop
computer--the one that... Show more |
| 25) Tech Support: "How may I help you today, sir?"
Customer: "Hel... Show more |
| 26) One guy was on duty in the main lab
on a
quiet afternoon. He... Show more |
| 27) After a caller gave a technician her PC's
serial number, he s... Show more |
| 28) A ragged individual stranded for several months
on a small de... Show more |
| 29) Many people in computer labs will assure
you, beyond a shadow... Show more |
| 30) An office technician got a call from a
user. The user told th... Show more |
| 31) There was once a
young man who, in his
youth, professed his d... Show more |
| 32) There was once a young man who,
in his
youth, professed his d... Show more |
| 33) Q: How many Microsoft support
staff does
it take to change a... Show more |
| 34) Me: "What is that noise?"
Customer: "Hey
Martinez!! I'm on th... Show more |
| 35) An exasperated caller to Tech Support
couldn't get her new
co... Show more |
| 36) The boy is smoking and
leaving smoke rings
into the air.
The... Show more |
| 37) A technician received a call from a man
complaining that the... Show more |
| 38) A person turned on the computer without a
keyboard plugged in... Show more |
| 39) The problem
with physicists is that they
tend to cheat in ord... Show more |
| 40) You
have just received the "Kentucky
Virus"!!!
As we ain't... Show more |
| 41) Another customer called Tech Support to say
her brand-new com... Show more |
| 42) A software verifier read in the Bible
that
God protects all f... Show more |
| 43) A customer
needed help setting up a new
program, so the techn... Show more |
| 44) A confused caller was having troubles printing
documents. He... Show more |
| 45) Webster's Dictionary definition of Windows
95
Windows95: n.... Show more |
| 46) How many maintenance programmers does it take
to change a lig... Show more |
| 47) How many
IBM employees does it take to
change a light bulb?... Show more |
| 48) Customer: "Why didn't you tell me I have
call waiting?"
Tec... Show more |
| 49) A customer called to say he couldn't get his
computer to fax... Show more |
| 50) A technician advised his customer to put his
troubled floppy... Show more |
| 51) Customer: "My disk is stuck in my disk drive.
Clicking eject... Show more |
| 52) Student: "Would it be possible to
install
Arabic language sup... Show more |
| 53) A
technician received a call from a
customer who was enraged... Show more |
| 54) A customer called
to complain that his
keyboard no longer wor... Show more |
| 55) This customer comes into
the computer
store. "I'm looking for... Show more |
| 56) As most technophiles are aware, there are
special programs to... Show more |
| 57) A
system programmer came home from work
almost at dawn and to... Show more |
| 58) How many C++ programmers does it take to
change a light
bulb?... Show more |
| 59) I overheard a woman in a
computer store
say to the sales assi... Show more |
| 60) This computer
you charged me L950 for
doesn't work....and you... Show more |
| 61) - Why do you think I spend too much
time
at my computer?... Show more |
| 62) Q:
How many Microsoft executives does it
take to change a lig... Show more |
| 63) A customer was asked to send a
copy of her
defective diskette... Show more |
| 64) Teacher: Look at the state of the school
computer. I want tha... Show more |
| 65) Technical support had a
caller complaining
that her mouse was... Show more |
| 66) I heard that
if you play the Windows NT
4.0 CD backwards, you... Show more |
| 67) Redmond,
WA --Microsoft announced today
that the official rel... Show more |
| 68) The Three
Laws of Secure
Computing
1) Don't buy a computer... Show more |
| 69) Doctor, doctor, I
keep thinking I'm a
laptop computer.
You'r... Show more |
| 70) Computers manufacturer is considering changing
the command "P... Show more |
| 71) Q: Complete the following word analogy:
Add is to Subtract as... Show more |
| 72) "This
little computer," said the sales
clerk, "will do half o... Show more |
| 73) Customer: I think I've got a bug in my
computer.
Repairman: Do... Show more |
| 74) Doctor, doctor, I keep
thinking I'm a
computer.
My goodness,... Show more |
| 75) Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many
Marines where at t... Show more |
| 76) Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a
choice of computers to... Show more |
| 77) ..... Ya see, we
at Microsoft believe in
making computing eas... Show more |
| 78) Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the
Pentium's
floating poi... Show more |
| 79) "Do you turn on your computer with your left
hand
or your rig... Show more |
| 80) I've been sitting at this computer for hours
and I haven't seen... Show more |
| 81) Which kind of ink do you put in your
computer's printer?
Blac... Show more |
| 82) How many
technical writers does it take to
change a light bul... Show more |
| 83) Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to
screw in a ligh... Show more |
| 84) Helpline? I've just pushed a
piece of
bacon into my disk driv... Show more |
| 85) Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to
change a light bulb?... Show more |
| 86) Customer: "I'm running Windows '95."
Tech: "Yes."
Customer:... Show more |
| 87) Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the
586?
A: Because they... Show more |
| 88) What's the difference between your finger and
a
hammer?
I do... Show more |
| 89) How many Java programmers does it take to
change a light bulb?... Show more |
| 90) The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought
you a new
basketb... Show more |
| 91) How do you keep a programmer in the shower
all day?
Give him... Show more |
| 92) You're spending a lot of time at that
computer screen. Have y... Show more |
| 93) Q: What's the
difference between a car
salesman and a compute... Show more |
| 94) If Microsoft built cars you would need to
restart your car,
t... Show more |
| 95) Why did
the school bully kick the
classroom computer?
Someon... Show more |
| 96) Customer: "It says I've performed an
illegal operation and wi... Show more |
| 97) I've been on my computer all night!
Don't
you think you'd be m... Show more |
| 98) What did
Bill Gate's wife say to him on
their wedding night?... Show more |
| 99) My computer made a funny sound the other
day.
Of course, I've... Show more |
| 100) Computer
helpline?
Everytime I log onto
the seven dwarfs web... Show more |
| 101) Would you like to buy a second-hand
computer?
I'm afraid not.... Show more |
| 102) Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?
A: He doesn't.... Show more |
| 103) Q: How many programmers does it take to
screw in a light bulb... Show more |
| 104) Customer: "Hi, I'm
supposed to pack [zip]
my database and sen... Show more |
| 105) If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a
Windows box crashed... Show more |
| 106) Q.
What creature has the best aptitude for
engineering ?
A... Show more |
| 107) Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside"
sticker they pu... Show more |
| 108) Tech Support: "Which format are the images you
send?"
Custome... Show more |
| 109) Teacher: Shall I put the school computer
on?
Pupil: No, Miss,... Show more |
| 110) Q: What do you call a series of FDIV
instructions on a Pentiu... Show more |
| 111) Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC
with a researc... Show more |
| 112) Why do programmers always get Christmas and
Halloween mixed u... Show more |
| 113) Why do computer teachers never get
sick?
Because an apple a... Show more |
| 114) Q: What does a proud computer call his
little son?
A: A micr... Show more |
| 115) What do you get if you stuff your computer's
disk drive
with... Show more |
| 116) What do you get if you cross a computer
with a ballet dancer?... Show more |
| 117) Mum, Mum,
Dad's broken my
computer!
How did he do that?
I d... Show more |
| 118) Want to buy a pocket computer?
No, thanks,
I already know how... Show more |
| 119) Q: What happens if you cross a
midget and
a computer?
A: You... Show more |
| 120) Customer: "Wait, that
password looks
really gray. I'm going t... Show more |
| 121) Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in
Atlantis?
Because... Show more |
| 122) Why did the duck stick his leg into a
computer?
He wanted to... Show more |
| 123) Why did the dish and spoon hide their
computer?
The cat kept f... Show more |
| 124) What's the difference between Windows 95 and a
virus?
A virus... Show more |
| 125) How do you stop your laptop batteries from
running out?
Hide... Show more |
| 126) What did one
keyboard say to the other
keyboard?
Sorry, you'... Show more |
| 127) Q: What is the difference between Windows 95
and Windows 98?... Show more |
| 128) What is an
astronaut's favorite key on a
computer keyboard?... Show more |
| 129) What do you get if you take your computer to
an ice
rink?
A... Show more |
| 130) Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was
looking for a byte... Show more |
| 131) What do you get if you cross a computer with a
hamburger?
A... Show more |
| 132) What happened when the computer fell on the
floor?
It slipped... Show more |
| 133) Which football team to you need to connect up
your
computer?... Show more |
| 134) Who holds up
stagecoaches and steals
laptop computers?
Click... Show more |
| 135) The
attention span of a computer is as
long as its electrical... Show more |
| 136) What did one mouse say to the other
mouse?
I get a click out o... Show more |
| 137) To err is human; but to really mess things up
requires a comp... Show more |
| 138) What do you do if your computer hums?
Tell
it to change its so... Show more |
| 139) What do you get if you cross a constable with
a computer?
PC P... Show more |
| 140) Got this email from a friend:
CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboar... Show more |
| 141) Where is the best place to buy computer
software?
Washington C... Show more |
| 142) What do computer experts do at weekends?
Go
for a disk drive.... Show more |
| 143) Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house?
A.
He uses "windows".... Show more |
| 144) Q: What's the
best way to accelerate a
Mac?
A: 9.81 m/s2... Show more |
| 145) Computers are not intelligent.
They only
think they are.... Show more |
| 146) Q: Which way did the programmer go?
A: He
went DATA way!... Show more |
| 147) Why
did the computer act crazy?
It had
a screw loose.... Show more |
| 148) When do computers
go to sleep?
When
it's internight.... Show more |
| 149) Where does an elephant carry its laptop?
In
its trunk.... Show more |
| 150) My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a
bit ANSI.... Show more |
| 151) What do computers eat when they get hungry?
Chips.... Show more |
| 152) Computers make very fast, very accurate
mistakes.... Show more |
| 153) What is a computer virus?
A terminal
illness.... Show more |
| 154) What did the mouse say to the
webcam?
Cheese.... Show more |
| 155) Who sits on Cinderella's
keyboard?
Buttons.... Show more |
| 156) Customer:
"How do I print my
voicemail?"... Show more |
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