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The Best Cow Jokes: |
| 1) Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.
Farmer: Not
bunch, herd.... Show more |
| 2) A man climbed over a fence into a
field to pick
some flowers.... Show more |
| 3) I can't decide whether to buy a
bicycle or a
cow for my farm.... Show more |
| 4) Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into
the fence t... Show more |
| 5) If you had a gun and you were being chased by a
bull and a mo... Show more |
| 6) Did you hear about the farmer who
lost control
of his tractor... Show more |
| 7) A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows
should be mil... Show more |
| 8) Pa's being
chased by a bull!
Well, what
in tarnation do you... Show more |
| 9) I've just discovered a method for making wool out
of
milk!... Show more |
| 10) Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to
leave her
calf alone?
She... Show more |
| 11) Why was he woman arrested on a
cattle ranch
for wearing a sil... Show more |
| 12) What do cows sing at their friends birthday
parties?
"Happy... Show more |
| 13) What did the mooron say when he saw the milk
cartons in the
g... Show more |
| 14) What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel,
a poodle,... Show more |
| 15) I hear you take milk baths.
That's right.
Why?
I can't fi... Show more |
| 16) Teacher: Name five things that contain milk.
Pupil: Butter, c... Show more |
| 17) Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
The
farmer had too much... Show more |
| 18) Why did the farmer put his cow on
the
scales?
He wanted to s... Show more |
| 19) What did the farmer call the cow that would not
give him any... Show more |
| 20) What do you call a group of cattle sent into
orbit?
The first... Show more |
| 21) When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what
does he
put o... Show more |
| 22) If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks,
what would
you... Show more |
| 23) What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the
back
end of... Show more |
| 24) What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with
tanning
oil... Show more |
| 25) What is the golden rule for cows?
Do unto
udders as you would... Show more |
| 26) What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus
?
A cow... Show more |
| 27) That bull you sold
me is a lazy
good-for-nothing!
I told yo... Show more |
| 28) Why did the
farmer put brandy in the cow's
food?
He wanted t... Show more |
| 29) How did cows feel when the branding iron was
invented?
They... Show more |
| 30) What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists
office?... Show more |
| 31) Why wouldn't anyone play with the little
longhorn?
He was t... Show more |
| 32) If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what
song
would yo... Show more |
| 33) What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry,
and a
sofa?... Show more |
| 34) Why did the moron give
the sleepy cow a
hammer?
He wanted h... Show more |
| 35) Did you hear about the snobby cow?
She thought
she was a cutle... Show more |
| 36) Does running out of a
burning barn make a cow
unusual?
No,... Show more |
| 37) That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found th... Show more |
| 38) If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would
you have ?... Show more |
| 39) Why do cows wear bells
around their
necks?
Because their hor... Show more |
| 40) What do cows do when they're introduced?
They
give each other... Show more |
| 41) How to you know that cows will be in
heaven?
It's a place of u... Show more |
| 42) What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension
headache?... Show more |
| 43) What would you get if you crossed a cow with a
rabbit?
Hare i... Show more |
| 44) What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roll... Show more |
| 45) What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the
thresher?
Gr... Show more |
| 46) Why don't cows ever have any
money?
Because the farmers mil... Show more |
| 47) What is the most
important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow... Show more |
| 48) What two members of the cow family go everywhere
with you?
Yo... Show more |
| 49) What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two
longhorns?
A... Show more |
| 50) What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a
cow
spits?
A... Show more |
| 51) If you crossed a cow
with a goat, what would
you get?
Half... Show more |
| 52) What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing
machine?
H... Show more |
| 53) What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A
COW-asaki MOO-... Show more |
| 54) Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It
wants to keep it's S... Show more |
| 55) What's the best way to make a bull sweat ?
Put him in a tight... Show more |
| 56) Cow: Why don't you shoo those flies?
Bull:
I'll let them go b... Show more |
| 57) What do you call it when one bull spies on another
bull?
A st... Show more |
| 58) Why do cows like being told jokes ?
Because
they like being a... Show more |
| 59) What is the definition of "derange"?
De place
where de cowboy... Show more |
| 60) When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns
his cow into p... Show more |
| 61) Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of
humor?
A: Laughing... Show more |
| 62) What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by
boat?
Shipped... Show more |
| 63) What do you call it when cows do battle in outer
space?
Steer... Show more |
| 64) What magazine makes cows stampede to the
newsstand?
Cows-mopo... Show more |
| 65) Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef... Show more |
| 66) What do you call a cow who argues with her
husband?
A bullfig... Show more |
| 67) What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a
knight?
Sir... Show more |
| 68) What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A
cow walking backw... Show more |
| 69) Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-at... Show more |
| 70) If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
She'll cream... Show more |
| 71) What do you get when you cross a cow with a
kangaroo?
A kanga... Show more |
| 72) What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
A charmer far... Show more |
| 73) What do cows usually
fly around in?
Helicowpters and Bulloo... Show more |
| 74) What do cows wear when they're
vacationing in
Hawaii?
Moo m... Show more |
| 75) What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-e... Show more |
| 76) What do you get if you cross a steer and a
chicken?
Roost bee... Show more |
| 77) What famous painting do cows love to look
at?
The Moona Lis... Show more |
| 78) What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a
cow?
Cowboom... Show more |
| 79) Why did the cow
jump over the moon?
To get
to the Milky Way... Show more |
| 80) Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He
wanted rich milk... Show more |
| 81) What do you call a cow that's just had a baby?
De-calfinated!... Show more |
| 82) Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
She heard he
was a cowpuncher!... Show more |
| 83) Q. What does a cow make when the sun
comes
out?
A. A shadow... Show more |
| 84) What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to
the mooooovies.... Show more |
| 85) What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla!... Show more |
| 86) What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It
grows a Moostache.... Show more |
| 87) What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy!... Show more |
| 88) What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast
Moosmallows!... Show more |
| 89) What happens when the cows refuse to be
milked?
Udder chaos!... Show more |
| 90) What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd!... Show more |
| 91) What did the calf say to the silo?
"Is my
fodder in there?"... Show more |
| 92) What is the definition of "moon"?
The past
tense of "moo"!... Show more |
| 93) What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
A
Moosician!... Show more |
| 94) What do you call a cow that doesn't give
milk?
A milk dud!... Show more |
| 95) What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A
hole-y Cow!... Show more |
| 96) What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream!... Show more |
| 97) Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
She was
pasteurized!... Show more |
| 98) What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The
moospaper!... Show more |
| 99) What do you call a cow on the barnyard
floor?
Ground Beef... Show more |
| 100) What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Filet delay!... Show more |
| 101) What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a... Show more |
| 102) Where
do cows like to ride on trains?
In
the cow-boose.... Show more |
| 103) Why are cpws made for dancing?
They're all
born hoofers!... Show more |
| 104) Is there big money in the cattle business?
So
I've herd!... Show more |
| 105) What do you get from an invisible cow?
Evaporated milk!... Show more |
| 106) What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer?
A
woolly bully!... Show more |
| 107) How did that bullfight come out?
Oh, it was a
toss-up!... Show more |
| 108) What do cows get when they do all their
chores?
Mooney.... Show more |
| 109) What do you get from a forgetful cow?
Milk of
amnesia!... Show more |
| 110) How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He
tractor down... Show more |
| 111) What are cows favorite party games?
MOO-sical
chairs!... Show more |
| 112) What are the spots on black-and-white
cows?
Holstaines... Show more |
| 113) What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk!... Show more |
| 114) How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo
stick.... Show more |
| 115) In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo
York!... Show more |
| 116) What did the cow wear to the football game?
A
Jersey.... Show more |
| 117) What do you call a cow with no front legs?
Lean Beef... Show more |
| 118) What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
A cattle
battle!... Show more |
| 119) What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos!... Show more |
| 120) What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud
missle!... Show more |
| 121) What hair style is a calf's favorite?
The
cowlick!... Show more |
| 122) What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear
steer!... Show more |
| 123) What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?
A full
bull!... Show more |
| 124) Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip
cream!... Show more |
| 125) What do you call a sleeping
bull?
A
bull-dozer.... Show more |
| 126) What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled
milk!... Show more |
| 127) What game do little cows like to play?
Moonopoly.... Show more |
| 128) What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass
class!... Show more |
| 129) How did the calf's final exam turn out?
Grade
A!... Show more |
| 130) What country do cows love to visit?
Moo
Zealand!... Show more |
| 131) What's a cow's favorite moosical
note?
Beef-flat!... Show more |
| 132) How do bulls drive their cars?
They steer
them!... Show more |
| 133) What animals do you bring
to bed?
Your
calves.... Show more |
| 134) What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got
milk?... Show more |
| 135) What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of
Wit!... Show more |
| 136) What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody's
herd.... Show more |
| 137) What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?
Cow
chow!... Show more |
| 138) What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo
Eyes!... Show more |
| 139) What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic!... Show more |
| 140) Where do steers go to dance?
To the Meat
Ball!... Show more |
| 141) Where does a cow stop to drink?
The milky
way!... Show more |
| 142) What is a cow's
favourite TV show ?
Dr
Moo !... Show more |
| 143) What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay
Fever... Show more |
| 144) What's a moo hoo for a young calf?
A new
moo!... Show more |
| 145) What is a cow's favorite lunch
meat?
Bullogna... Show more |
| 146) Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf... Show more |
| 147) Where do milk shakes come from?
Nervous
cows!... Show more |
| 148) What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank!... Show more |
| 149) What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.... Show more |
| 150) How does a cow do math?
With a cowculator!... Show more |
| 151) Why was the calf afraid?
He was a cow-herd!... Show more |
| 152) What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out!... Show more |
| 153) What goes oo ooo oooo?
A cow with no lips.... Show more |
| 154) What US state has the most cows?
Moosouri!... Show more |
| 155) What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic!... Show more |
| 156) Where do Russian cows come from?
Moscow!... Show more |
| 157) What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues... Show more |
| 158) Where do cows like to live? St. Moo-is.... Show more |
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