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| The Best Cow Jokes: | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 1) Camper: Look at that bunch of cows. Farmer: Not bunch, herd. Camper: Heard what?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2) A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull n... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3) I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well, wouldn't yo... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4) Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5) If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which o... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 6) Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 7) A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 8) Pa's being chased by a bull! Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 9) I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk! But doesn't that mak... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 10) Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children sh... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 11) Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was ch... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 12) What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Ha... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 13) What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 14) What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A c... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 15) I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 16) Teacher: Name five things that contain milk. Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream ...... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 17) Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him t... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 18) Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milk... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 19) What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder fa... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 20) What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 21) When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head? Steer... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 22) If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks, what would you get? Milk and qua... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 23) What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail p... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 24) What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leath... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 25) What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to yo... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 26) What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ? A cow that can milk itself... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 27) That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing! I told you he was a bum steer... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 28) Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 29) How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 30) What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 31) Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 32) If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 33) What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 34) Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 35) Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 36) Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 37) That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 38) If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have ? Plenty of milk !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 39) Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 40) What do cows do when they're introduced? They give each other a milk shake!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 41) How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 42) What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 43) What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit? Hare in your milk!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 44) What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 45) What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher? Ground round!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 46) Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 47) What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 48) What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 49) What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 50) What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 51) If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 52) What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 53) What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 54) Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 55) What's the best way to make a bull sweat ? Put him in a tight jumper !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 56) Cow: Why don't you shoo those flies? Bull: I'll let them go barefoot!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 57) What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 58) Why do cows like being told jokes ? Because they like being amoosed !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 59) What is the definition of "derange"? De place where de cowboys ride!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 60) When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 61) Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 62) What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 63) What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 64) What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 65) Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 66) What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 67) What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir Loin!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 68) What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 69) Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 70) If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 71) What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo? A kangamoo!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 72) What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 73) What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 74) What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii? Moo moos... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 75) What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 76) What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 77) What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 78) What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 79) Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 80) Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 81) What do you call a cow that's just had a baby? De-calfinated!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 82) Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 83) Q. What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A. A shadow... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 84) What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 85) What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire? Dracowla!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 86) What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 87) What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 88) What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 89) What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 90) What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 91) What did the calf say to the silo? "Is my fodder in there?"... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 92) What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 93) What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A Moosician!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 94) What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 95) What do you call a cow that fell in a hole? A hole-y Cow!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 96) What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 97) Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 98) What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 99) What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 100) What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 101) What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 102) Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 103) Why are cpws made for dancing? They're all born hoofers!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 104) Is there big money in the cattle business? So I've herd!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 105) What do you get from an invisible cow? Evaporated milk!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 106) What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer? A woolly bully!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 107) How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 108) What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 109) What do you get from a forgetful cow? Milk of amnesia!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 110) How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 111) What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 112) What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 113) What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 114) How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 115) In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 116) What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 117) What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 118) What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 119) What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 120) What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 121) What hair style is a calf's favorite? The cowlick!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 122) What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 123) What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 124) Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 125) What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 126) What do you get from pampered cows? Spoiled milk!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 127) What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 128) What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 129) How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 130) What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 131) What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 132) How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 133) What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 134) What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 135) What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 136) What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 137) What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 138) What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 139) What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 140) Where do steers go to dance? To the Meat Ball!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 141) Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 142) What is a cow's favourite TV show ? Dr Moo !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 143) What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 144) What's a moo hoo for a young calf? A new moo!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 145) What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 146) Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 147) Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 148) What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 149) What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 150) How does a cow do math? With a cowculator!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 151) Why was the calf afraid? He was a cow-herd!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 152) What do you call a tired cow? Milked out!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 153) What goes oo ooo oooo? A cow with no lips.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 154) What US state has the most cows? Moosouri!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 155) What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 156) Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 157) What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 158) Where do cows like to live? St. Moo-is.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
