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Random Cow Jokes!

What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef



 
     
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The Best Cow Jokes:
1) Camper: Look at that bunch of cows. Farmer: Not bunch, herd.... Show more
2) A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers.... Show more
3) I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm.... Show more
4) Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence t... Show more
5) If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mo... Show more
6) Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor... Show more
7) A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be mil... Show more
8) Pa's being chased by a bull! Well, what in tarnation do you... Show more
9) I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk!... Show more
10) Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She... Show more
11) Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a sil... Show more
12) What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy... Show more
13) What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the g... Show more
14) What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle,... Show more
15) I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't fi... Show more
16) Teacher: Name five things that contain milk. Pupil: Butter, c... Show more
17) Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much... Show more
18) Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to s... Show more
19) What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any... Show more
20) What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first... Show more
21) When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put o... Show more
22) If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks, what would you... Show more
23) What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of... Show more
24) What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil... Show more
25) What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would... Show more
26) What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ? A cow... Show more
27) That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing! I told yo... Show more
28) Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted t... Show more
29) How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They... Show more
30) What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?... Show more
31) Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was t... Show more
32) If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would yo... Show more
33) What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?... Show more
34) Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted h... Show more
35) Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutle... Show more
36) Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No,... Show more
37) That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found th... Show more
38) If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have ?... Show more
39) Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their hor... Show more
40) What do cows do when they're introduced? They give each other... Show more
41) How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of u... Show more
42) What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?... Show more
43) What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit? Hare i... Show more
44) What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roll... Show more
45) What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher? Gr... Show more
46) Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers mil... Show more
47) What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow... Show more
48) What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Yo... Show more
49) What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A... Show more
50) What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A... Show more
51) If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half... Show more
52) What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? H... Show more
53) What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-... Show more
54) Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's S... Show more
55) What's the best way to make a bull sweat ? Put him in a tight... Show more
56) Cow: Why don't you shoo those flies? Bull: I'll let them go b... Show more
57) What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A st... Show more
58) Why do cows like being told jokes ? Because they like being a... Show more
59) What is the definition of "derange"? De place where de cowboy... Show more
60) When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into p... Show more
61) Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing... Show more
62) What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped... Show more
63) What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer... Show more
64) What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopo... Show more
65) Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef... Show more
66) What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfig... Show more
67) What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir... Show more
68) What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backw... Show more
69) Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-at... Show more
70) If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream... Show more
71) What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo? A kanga... Show more
72) What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer far... Show more
73) What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloo... Show more
74) What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii? Moo m... Show more
75) What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-e... Show more
76) What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost bee... Show more
77) What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lis... Show more
78) What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom... Show more
79) Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way... Show more
80) Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk... Show more
81) What do you call a cow that's just had a baby? De-calfinated!... Show more
82) Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher!... Show more
83) Q. What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A. A shadow... Show more
84) What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.... Show more
85) What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire? Dracowla!... Show more
86) What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.... Show more
87) What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy!... Show more
88) What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows!... Show more
89) What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos!... Show more
90) What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd!... Show more
91) What did the calf say to the silo? "Is my fodder in there?"... Show more
92) What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!... Show more
93) What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A Moosician!... Show more
94) What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud!... Show more
95) What do you call a cow that fell in a hole? A hole-y Cow!... Show more
96) What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream!... Show more
97) Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized!... Show more
98) What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper!... Show more
99) What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef... Show more
100) What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay!... Show more
101) What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a... Show more
102) Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.... Show more
103) Why are cpws made for dancing? They're all born hoofers!... Show more
104) Is there big money in the cattle business? So I've herd!... Show more
105) What do you get from an invisible cow? Evaporated milk!... Show more
106) What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer? A woolly bully!... Show more
107) How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up!... Show more
108) What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.... Show more
109) What do you get from a forgetful cow? Milk of amnesia!... Show more
110) How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down... Show more
111) What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs!... Show more
112) What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines... Show more
113) What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk!... Show more
114) How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.... Show more
115) In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York!... Show more
116) What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.... Show more
117) What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef... Show more
118) What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle!... Show more
119) What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos!... Show more
120) What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle!... Show more
121) What hair style is a calf's favorite? The cowlick!... Show more
122) What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer!... Show more
123) What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull!... Show more
124) Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!... Show more
125) What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.... Show more
126) What do you get from pampered cows? Spoiled milk!... Show more
127) What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.... Show more
128) What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class!... Show more
129) How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A!... Show more
130) What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand!... Show more
131) What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!... Show more
132) How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them!... Show more
133) What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves.... Show more
134) What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk?... Show more
135) What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit!... Show more
136) What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.... Show more
137) What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow!... Show more
138) What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes!... Show more
139) What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!... Show more
140) Where do steers go to dance? To the Meat Ball!... Show more
141) Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way!... Show more
142) What is a cow's favourite TV show ? Dr Moo !... Show more
143) What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever... Show more
144) What's a moo hoo for a young calf? A new moo!... Show more
145) What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna... Show more
146) Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf... Show more
147) Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows!... Show more
148) What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank!... Show more
149) What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.... Show more
150) How does a cow do math? With a cowculator!... Show more
151) Why was the calf afraid? He was a cow-herd!... Show more
152) What do you call a tired cow? Milked out!... Show more
153) What goes oo ooo oooo? A cow with no lips.... Show more
154) What US state has the most cows? Moosouri!... Show more
155) What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic!... Show more
156) Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow!... Show more
157) What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues... Show more
158) Where do cows like to live? St. Moo-is.... Show more

 

 

 

 

 

 
    | Total Jokes: 29850 | Last Update: 2008-07-23 | Privacy Policy