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| The Best Criminal Jokes: | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 1) A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2) Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery store because you were starving. So why d... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3) A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. "Have you... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4) Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe? Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: Ho... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5) It was Rocky's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 6) Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along we... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 7) Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along we... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 8) An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all o... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 9) A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 10) Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed t... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 11) A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first wr... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 12) Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 13) Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 14) A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewe... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 15) Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a m... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 16) t was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 17) "What makes you think the prisoner was drunk?" asked the judge. "Well, Your Honor... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 18) A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there are no holes in the... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 19) When the school was broken into, the thieves took absolutely everything - desks,... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 20) The criminal mastermind found one of his gang sawing the legs off his bed. "What... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 21) A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off. "Shall... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 22) Judge: Tell me your occupation. Prisoner; I'm a locksmith, Your Honour. Judge:... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 23) A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and sai... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 24) A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "There's a burglar downstair... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 25) Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today. One is orange and 9ft ta... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 26) "Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. "I need $50 for the school... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 27) 'It's a pity you've gone on hunger strike,' said the convict's girlfriend on vi... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 28) Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn't any good, it only has sentimental value.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 29) What is the difference between a thief and a church bell? One steals from the pe... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 30) Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they took everything except the soap and... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 31) Criminal: Why don't you hire these twins for the robbery, boss? Criminal Boss: I... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 32) What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up? Sorry to take so... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 33) Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting? Criminal: I answered an ad that... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 34) Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk? Criminal: You said it was... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 35) A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car... Who is driving the c... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 36) What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver? I'm at... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 37) Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs? Criminal: Why? You look good... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 38) Why are burglars such good tennis players ? Because they spend such a lot of their... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 39) Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen? Criminal: It wasn't wh... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 40) Did you hear about the burglar who fell in the cement mixer? Now he's a hardene... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 41) If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man, what would you have? Organised grim... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 42) What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ? Robbery with vi... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 43) Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are num... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 44) Who was the world's greatest thief ? Atlas, because he held up the whole world !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 45) What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all. A going-away party.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 46) Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail? Because it needs bailing out.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 47) Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles? So he could break out.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 48) Knock Knock Who's there ! Burglar ! Burglar who ? Burglars don't knock !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 49) What do you call a mayfly with a criminal tendencies ? Baddy long legs !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 50) What's another word for a murderer who kills old ladies? A Killergran.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 51) What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner ? A Kong - vict !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 52) When did the criminal get smart? When the judge threw the book at him.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 53) Why did the burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 54) Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark, sir.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 55) What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals? F.B.I.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 56) What do you call a robbery in China ? A Chinese take away !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 57) What was the parrot doing in prison ? It was a jail-bird !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 58) Why do pens get sent to prison ? To do long sentences !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 59) What hired killer never goes to jail? The exterminator.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 60) Who is the biggest gangster in the sea ? Al Caprawn !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 61) What kind of robbery is not dangerous? A safe robbery.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 62) Why was the robber bionic? He was holding up a bank.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 63) Why was the robber so secure? He was a safe robber.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 64) I think I hear burglars, dear. Are you awake? No!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 65) How do bank robbers send messages? By flee mail!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 66) What diploma do criminals get? The third degree.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 67) What kind of thief steals meat? A hamburglar.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 68) Who is the strongest thief? A shoplifter.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 69) What stars go to jail? Shooting stars.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
