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Random Criminal Jokes!

Who was the world's greatest thief ? Atlas, because he held up the whole world !



 
     
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The Best Criminal Jokes:
1) It was Rocky's first night in the penitentiary. All of the in... Show more
2) Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his s... Show more
3) Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his sta... Show more
4) An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Engli... Show more
5) A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly t... Show more
6) Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was e... Show more
7) A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to... Show more
8) Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same d... Show more
9) A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a c... Show more
10) Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal... Show more
11) A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch fr... Show more
12) Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why w... Show more
13) t was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked... Show more
14) "What makes you think the prisoner was drunk?" asked the judg... Show more
15) Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery store because you wer... Show more
16) A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there... Show more
17) When the school was broken into, the thieves took absolutely... Show more
18) The criminal mastermind found one of his gang sawing the legs... Show more
19) A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his ha... Show more
20) Judge: Tell me your occupation. Prisoner; I'm a locksmith, Yo... Show more
21) A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at... Show more
22) A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "There's a... Show more
23) Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today. One is... Show more
24) A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be ex... Show more
25) Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe? Joe: I won it i... Show more
26) "Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. "I nee... Show more
27) 'It's a pity you've gone on hunger strike,' said the convict'... Show more
28) Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn't any good, it only has... Show more
29) What is the difference between a thief and a church bell? On... Show more
30) Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they took everything ex... Show more
31) Criminal: Why don't you hire these twins for the robbery, bos... Show more
32) What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up?... Show more
33) Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting? Criminal: I... Show more
34) Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk? Crimi... Show more
35) A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car...... Show more
36) What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing... Show more
37) Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs? Criminal:... Show more
38) Why are burglars such good tennis players ? Because they spend... Show more
39) Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen? Cr... Show more
40) Did you hear about the burglar who fell in the cement mixer?... Show more
41) If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man, what would you h... Show more
42) What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burgla... Show more
43) Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they... Show more
44) Who was the world's greatest thief ? Atlas, because he held up... Show more
45) What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all. A... Show more
46) Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail? Because it need... Show more
47) Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles? So he co... Show more
48) Knock Knock Who's there ! Burglar ! Burglar who ? Burglars... Show more
49) What do you call a mayfly with a criminal tendencies ? Baddy... Show more
50) What's another word for a murderer who kills old ladies? A... Show more
51) What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner ? A Ko... Show more
52) When did the criminal get smart? When the judge threw the book... Show more
53) Why did the burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a clean... Show more
54) Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark, s... Show more
55) What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals? F.B.I... Show more
56) What do you call a robbery in China ? A Chinese take away !... Show more
57) What was the parrot doing in prison ? It was a jail-bird !... Show more
58) Why do pens get sent to prison ? To do long sentences !... Show more
59) What hired killer never goes to jail? The exterminator.... Show more
60) Who is the biggest gangster in the sea ? Al Caprawn !... Show more
61) What kind of robbery is not dangerous? A safe robbery.... Show more
62) Why was the robber bionic? He was holding up a bank.... Show more
63) Why was the robber so secure? He was a safe robber.... Show more
64) I think I hear burglars, dear. Are you awake? No!... Show more
65) How do bank robbers send messages? By flee mail!... Show more
66) What diploma do criminals get? The third degree.... Show more
67) What kind of thief steals meat? A hamburglar.... Show more
68) Who is the strongest thief? A shoplifter.... Show more
69) What stars go to jail? Shooting stars.... Show more

 

 

 

 

 

 
    | Total Jokes: 29850 | Last Update: 2008-07-23 | Privacy Policy