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The Best Criminal Jokes: |
| 1) It was
Rocky's first night in the
penitentiary. All of the in... Show more |
| 2) Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
prison. During his s... Show more |
| 3) Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
prison. During his sta... Show more |
| 4) An English
prisoner of war was held by
the Germans. The Engli... Show more |
| 5) A prisoner at
the Edmonton Max started
training a large fly t... Show more |
| 6) Late one
night, a burglar broke into a
house he thought was e... Show more |
| 7) A
mafioso's son sits at his desk writing
a Christmas list to... Show more |
| 8) Two men,
sentenced to die in the electric
chair on the same d... Show more |
| 9) A computer geek goes to prison
for fraud,
they put him in a c... Show more |
| 10) Two small time thieves had been sent by the
Big Boss to
steal... Show more |
| 11) A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to
steal a watch fr... Show more |
| 12) Why do they put a suicide watch on death row
prisoners? Why
w... Show more |
| 13) t was Christmas and the judge was in a merry
mood as he asked... Show more |
| 14) "What makes you think the
prisoner was
drunk?" asked the judg... Show more |
| 15) Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery
store because you wer... Show more |
| 16) A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and
no doors: there... Show more |
| 17) When the school was broken into, the
thieves took absolutely... Show more |
| 18) The criminal mastermind found one of his
gang sawing the legs... Show more |
| 19) A police officer was escorting a
prisoner
to jail when his ha... Show more |
| 20) Judge: Tell me your occupation.
Prisoner;
I'm a locksmith, Yo... Show more |
| 21) A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank,
pointed two fingers at... Show more |
| 22) A woman woke her husband in the middle of the
night. "There's a... Show more |
| 23) Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from
prison today. One is... Show more |
| 24) A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was
about to be
ex... Show more |
| 25) Bill: Where did you
get that gold watch
Joe?
Joe: I won it i... Show more |
| 26) "Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a
bank robber. "I nee... Show more |
| 27) 'It's a pity
you've gone on hunger
strike,' said the convict'... Show more |
| 28) Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn't any
good, it only has... Show more |
| 29) What is the difference between a thief and a
church
bell?
On... Show more |
| 30) Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they
took everything ex... Show more |
| 31) Criminal: Why don't you hire these twins for
the robbery, bos... Show more |
| 32) What did the burglar say to the
watchmaker as he tied him up?... Show more |
| 33) Detective: How did you
get into
counterfeiting?
Criminal: I... Show more |
| 34) Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables
on my desk?
Crimi... Show more |
| 35) A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in
the
same car...... Show more |
| 36) What did the
burglar say to the lady who
caught him stealing... Show more |
| 37) Detective: Do you think
I should put on
the cuffs?
Criminal:... Show more |
| 38) Why are burglars such good tennis players
?
Because they spend... Show more |
| 39) Policeman: Did you
know your vehicle was
reported stolen?
Cr... Show more |
| 40) Did you hear about the burglar who fell in
the
cement mixer?... Show more |
| 41) If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man,
what would
you h... Show more |
| 42) What do you get if you cross a bunch of
flowers
with a burgla... Show more |
| 43) Did you hear about the calendar thief?
He
got 12 months; they... Show more |
| 44) Who was the world's greatest thief
?
Atlas, because he held up... Show more |
| 45) What kind of party do prisoners in jail
like most of all.
A... Show more |
| 46) Why is a sinking ship like a
person in
jail?
Because it need... Show more |
| 47) Why would someone in jail want to catch the
measles?
So he co... Show more |
| 48) Knock Knock
Who's there !
Burglar
!
Burglar who ?
Burglars... Show more |
| 49) What do you call a mayfly with a criminal
tendencies ?
Baddy... Show more |
| 50) What's another
word for a murderer who
kills old ladies?
A... Show more |
| 51) What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a
prisoner ?
A Ko... Show more |
| 52) When did the criminal get smart?
When the
judge threw the book... Show more |
| 53) Why did the burglar take a shower?
He
wanted to make a clean... Show more |
| 54) Judge: Why did you steal
that bird?
Prisoner: For a lark, s... Show more |
| 55) What three letters in the alphabet frighten
criminals?
F.B.I... Show more |
| 56) What do you call a robbery in China ?
A
Chinese take away !... Show more |
| 57) What was the parrot doing in prison ?
It
was a jail-bird !... Show more |
| 58) Why do pens get sent to
prison ? To do
long sentences !... Show more |
| 59) What hired killer never goes to jail?
The
exterminator.... Show more |
| 60) Who is the
biggest gangster in the sea
?
Al Caprawn !... Show more |
| 61) What kind of robbery is not dangerous?
A
safe robbery.... Show more |
| 62) Why was the robber bionic?
He was holding
up a bank.... Show more |
| 63) Why was the robber so secure?
He was a
safe robber.... Show more |
| 64) I think I hear burglars, dear. Are you awake?
No!... Show more |
| 65) How do bank robbers send messages?
By flee
mail!... Show more |
| 66) What diploma do criminals get?
The third
degree.... Show more |
| 67) What kind of thief steals meat?
A
hamburglar.... Show more |
| 68) Who is the strongest thief?
A
shoplifter.... Show more |
| 69) What stars go to jail?
Shooting stars.... Show more |
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