1 - A local business was
looking for office help.
They put a sign in the window, s... Read More ››
2 - A man and his dog went into a pub. The barman said
"Sorry mate no
dogs allowed... Read More ››
3 - A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another
shopper
walked up to it and st... Read More ››
4 - Two women, who are dog owners,
are arguing
which dog is smarter.
First woman:... Read More ››
5 - I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay.
It's fun
to call him...
"C... Read More ››
6 - Advertisement: Dog for sale. Really gentle. Eats
anything. Especially fond of... Read More ››
7 - What dog would you want on your American football
team?
A golden receiver!... Read More ››
9 - Four workers
were discussing how smart their
dogs were. The first was an engin... Read More ››
10 - A man is
walking down the street when he hears
a voice, "Pssst you come over... Read More ››
11 - Paul got off
the elevator on the 40th floor
and nervously knocked on his blind... Read More ››
12 - Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by
boat and one says to
the ot... Read More ››
13 - Upon
entering the little country store, the
stranger noticed a sign saying;... Read More ››
14 - A man was very proud of his guard
dog, he would
leave it to roam free in the g... Read More ››
15 - A man took his Rottweiler to the
vet and said
to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is... Read More ››
16 - A man and his son were
shovelling the driveway
after a heavy snowfall when the... Read More ››
17 - The front door
was accidentally left open and
our dog was gone. After unsucces... Read More ››
18 - A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to
completely remove the dogs... Read More ››
19 - A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed
three men and a dog playing car... Read More ››
20 - Every time I tell my English Setter to stop
barking, it
never does!
What doe... Read More ››
21 - A hound dog and a dalmation were sitting in an
Internet cafe and the
dalmatio... Read More ››
22 - What artistic dog
chews a lot and follows the
rules of the farm where it lives... Read More ››
23 - Why does the Hound of the
Baskervilles turn
round and round before he lies dow... Read More ››
24 - What do you
get if you cross a labrador and a
tortoise ?
A dog that will run... Read More ››
25 - My dog is great at math.
Really ?
Ask him
how much is two minus two.
But t... Read More ››
26 - Why did the dog's owner think his dog
was a
great mathematician?
When he aske... Read More ››
27 - What is brown
and gray, has eight legs, and is
carrying a large trunk and a sm... Read More ››
28 - Why did the dog sleep so poorly?
By mistake he
plugged his electric blanket int... Read More ››
29 - When George Washington was a general, why did he
like to have dogs around?
T... Read More ››
30 - What did the angry man sing
when he found his
slippers chewed up by the new pu... Read More ››
31 - Alsation: How come
you are always so well
behaved when you go on a walk with y... Read More ››
32 - What is the difference between Father Christmas
and
a warm dog ?
Father Chris... Read More ››
33 - What is the difference between Father
Christmas and a warm dog ?
Father Chris... Read More ››
34 - Small girl: I'd buy that dog, but
his legs
are too short! Clerk: Too short ? W... Read More ››
35 - If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching
band, what's his other favorite... Read More ››
36 - How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry
about having soap flakes for br... Read More ››
37 - How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry
about
having soap flakes for br... Read More ››
38 - Why did the thoughtful father buy his six children
a dachshund?
He wanted a dog... Read More ››
39 - How do you make a dog
float?
Take two
scoops of ice cream, a couple of squirt... Read More ››
40 - How do you find your dog if
he's lost in the
woods ?
Put your ear up to a tre... Read More ››
41 - Why should you never watch a video with a
Chihuahua?
It always plays with th... Read More ››
42 - What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog
?
A dog that can lick you from t... Read More ››
43 - When you catch your dog eating a dictionary, what
should you do?
Take the wor... Read More ››
44 - What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a
hyena ?
I don't know but I'l... Read More ››
45 - What is the best kind of dog to ask for
directions?
A Chihuahua, because it... Read More ››
46 - What do you get if you cross a dog with a
blind mole ?
A dog that keeps barki... Read More ››
47 - How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped
you to set up your computer?... Read More ››
48 - What do you get if you cross a dog
with a
kangaroo?
A dog that has somewhere... Read More ››
49 - What is the difference between a dog and
a
mailbox?
If you don't know you mus... Read More ››
50 - What did the elephant say when it saw the
Chihuahuas coming down the road?
L... Read More ››
51 - What is black and white and red all over?
A
Chihuahua in a tuxedo that tripped... Read More ››
52 - Q: How do you get a dog to stop
barking in the
back seat of a car? - A: Put hi... Read More ››
53 - What do you get if you cross
a giraffe with a
dog ?
An animal that barks at l... Read More ››
54 - When is the
most likely time that a stray dog
will walk into your house ?
Whe... Read More ››
55 - What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off
of the
table ?
He gets splin... Read More ››
56 - Why did the dog have a gleam in his
eye?
Someone bumped his elbow while he was... Read More ››
57 - What happened to the dog that fell into a
lens-grinding machine?
He made a sp... Read More ››
58 - Would you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or
a tiger?
I'd rather have h... Read More ››
59 - Q: Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog? - A: So
that they didn't
have to be... Read More ››
60 - What happened to the
dog that ate nothing but
garlic ?
His bark was much wors... Read More ››
61 - What should you know before you teach your
dog
a new trick?
You should know m... Read More ››
62 - Q: When's the best time to take your doberman
pinscher for a
walk? - A: Anytim... Read More ››
63 - What do you get if you cross a dog and a
cheetah ?
A dog that chases cars - a... Read More ››
64 - What do you call a dog with no legs ?
It
doesn't matter what you call him, he s... Read More ››
65 - Why is a dog with a lame leg
like adding 6 and
7s?
He puts down the three and... Read More ››
66 - Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you?
Chihuahua: No, I was playing... Read More ››
67 - What do you get if you cross a
computer and a
Rottweiller ?
A computer with a... Read More ››
68 - Why do Chihuahuas have such short
necks?
Because their heads are so close to... Read More ››
69 - What did the dog do with the history
professor?
They got together and talked ov... Read More ››
70 - Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato
fell on
his head?
The tomato... Read More ››
71 - Why didn't the dog play
cards on his ocean
cruise?
Because the captain stood... Read More ››
72 - Why didn't the dog
speak to his foot
?
Because it's not polite to talk back t... Read More ››
73 - What do you
call a litter of young dogs who
have come in from the snow ?
Slus... Read More ››
74 - What is the difference between a barking dog and
an umbrella?
The umbrella can... Read More ››
75 - Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ?
Because
it's not polite to talk back to... Read More ››
76 - Q: When is a strange dog
most likely to go
into your house? - A: When the door... Read More ››
77 - Why do dogs turn around three
times before
lying down?
One good turn deserves... Read More ››
78 - Why is a dog like a baseball
player?
He
runs for home when he sees the catche... Read More ››
79 - What did the dog take when he was run down?
The
license number of the car that... Read More ››
80 - What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a
dog?
A hen that lays pooch... Read More ››
81 - Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? - A:
Because you can't bury them in t... Read More ››
82 - What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell
tall stories ?
A shaggy dogs... Read More ››
83 - Why is a dog like a baseball player?
He runs
for home when he sees the catcher... Read More ››
84 - What do you get when you cross a collie with a
trumpet?
A Lassie who plays b... Read More ››
85 - What do you get if you
cross a dog and a sheep
?
A sheep that can round itsel... Read More ››
86 - What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a
dog?
A hen that lays pooched... Read More ››
87 - Why doesn't a dog
ever have a nose 12 inches
long?
Because then it would be a... Read More ››
88 - What should you do if you have a basset hound over
for
dinner?
Have a short... Read More ››
89 - What do you get if cross two young dogs with a
pair
of headphones ?
Hush pupp... Read More ››
90 - What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats
like
a dog, but isn't a dog?
A... Read More ››
91 - What is the best kind of dog to direct traffic at
a
busy intersection?
A poi... Read More ››
92 - How do you keep a dog from barking in your
front yard?
Put him in your back y... Read More ››
93 - Alsation: Why do you like to go on camping
trips?
Chihuahua: I like to "ruff... Read More ››
94 - When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs?
Only when they snap at someth... Read More ››
95 - Q: Why is a dog's nose in the middle of
it's
face? - A: Because it's the scent... Read More ››
96 - What do you get if you take a really big dog out
for a walk ?
A Great Dane ou... Read More ››
97 - What did the dog do when the panhandler
put
the bite on him?
Bit him, natural... Read More ››
98 - Q: What
happened when the dog went to the flea
circus? - A: It stole the
sho... Read More ››
99 - Why is it called a "litter" of
puppies
?
Because they mess up the whole house... Read More ››
100 - What happened when the shaggy dog
swallowed a
teaspoon?
He wasn't able to sti... Read More ››
101 - What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound
dog
in your kitchen?
Eat ou... Read More ››
102 - How did the Chihuahua disappear
on the road?
It was using a hide-'n-go-seekl... Read More ››
103 - Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ?
He
was trying to make both ends meet... Read More ››
104 - Why does a d dog scratch himself?
He is the
only one that knows where it itches... Read More ››
105 - Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into
a lake?
To a weterinarian... Read More ››
106 - Why do dogs bury bones in
the ground
?
Because you can't bury them in trees !... Read More ››
107 - I just spotted a Chihuahua!
That wasn't very
nice, you shouldn't draw on dogs!... Read More ››
108 - How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at
night?
He used a skeleton key.... Read More ››
109 - Alsation: I'll see you shortly.
Chihuahua:
Okay, but don't call me "Shortly!"... Read More ››
110 - Q: Why did the dog cross the road? - A: Because it
was the chickens day off.... Read More ››
111 - Why did the dog wear white sneakers ?
Because
his boots were at the menders !... Read More ››
112 - What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a
meal
?
That hit the spots !... Read More ››
113 - What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a
jelly ?
The collie wobbles !... Read More ››
114 - What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an
Australian dog ?
Dingo Starr !... Read More ››
115 - What is worse than a
dog howling at the
moon?
Two dogs howling at the moon.... Read More ››
116 - What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a
meal ?
That hit the spots !... Read More ››
117 - How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a
monster ?
Terrier-fied !... Read More ››
118 - What do you get when you cross a
Doberman with
a bird?
A Doberman fincher!... Read More ››
119 - What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater
?
A plain clothes police dog !... Read More ››
120 - Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for
a cat ?
Cats can't drive !... Read More ››
121 - What place of business helps dogs who have lost
their tails?
A retail store.... Read More ››
122 - What is the
best way to follow a lost dog's
paw prints?
With a track-tor!... Read More ››
123 - Why do dogs wag their
tails ?
"Because no
one else will do it for them !"... Read More ››
124 - How many seasons are there in a dogs life
?
Just one, the moulting season !... Read More ››
125 - Why did the dog mistake the dog catcher for
a
grape?
He was colour-blind.... Read More ››
126 - Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?
To see who shot his "paw."... Read More ››
127 - What happened when the dog went to the flea circus
?
He stole the show !... Read More ››
128 - What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy
road ?
A mutt in a rut !... Read More ››
129 - What is a dog who crosses the street twice in
an hour?
A double crosser.... Read More ››
130 - Why was the mother flea so unhappy?
All her
children had gone to the dogs.... Read More ››
131 - Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers?
They have short tales!... Read More ››
132 - What wears a black, white, and tan coat but has no
hair?
A bald beagle!... Read More ››
133 - Q: What has got four legs and an arm?
- A: A
Rottweiler in a playground.... Read More ››
134 - What is black and white and red all over?
A
Dalmatian with a bad sunburn.... Read More ››
135 - What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid
of?
A Doberman puncher!... Read More ››
136 - What kind of dog can you best see in the
dark?
A glowberman pinscher!... Read More ››
137 - How do
you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a
melon ?
Melon-collie !... Read More ››
138 - Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a
keyboard?
They're all paws.... Read More ››
139 - Which dog eats with its tail?
All dogs keep
their tails on when eating.... Read More ››
140 - Alsation: How did you find the fleas?
Beagle:
I didn't! They found me!... Read More ››
141 - Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire?
A.It doesn't
want to become a hot dog.... Read More ››
142 - Q:
Why does a dog wag it's tail? - A: No one
else will do it for them... Read More ››
143 - What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a
rose?
A collie-flower !... Read More ››
144 - Where do you usually find dogs?
It all depends
on where you lose them.... Read More ››
145 - Dad, I spotted a Dalmatian!
No need to, it
already has its own spots!... Read More ››
146 - How many hairs are in a dog's tail?
None. They
are all on the outside.... Read More ››
147 - Q. What did the dog say when he sat on
sand
paper?
A. "Rough rough".... Read More ››
148 - What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by
684?
The wrong answer.... Read More ››
149 - What should you do if you see a vicious
dog?
Hope he doesn't see you.... Read More ››
150 - Why did the dog run in circles?
He was a
watchdog and needed winding.... Read More ››
151 - What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball?
The
Philadelphia Beagles!... Read More ››
152 - What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an
elephant?
A tusky!... Read More ››
153 - What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?
A complaint Bernard!... Read More ››
154 - What dog sweats the most and drinks the most
water?
A hot-weiler!... Read More ››
155 - What did the cowboy say when the bear ate
Lassie?
"Well, doggone !"... Read More ››
156 - What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde
?
A jet setter !... Read More ››
157 - Why do dogs
run in circles ?
Because its
hard to run in squares !... Read More ››
158 - What game do 18 dogs like to
play during the
summer?
Woofleball... Read More ››
159 - What was the dog doing on the turnpike?
About
seven miles an hour.... Read More ››
160 - What dogs are best for sending telegrams ?
Wire
haired terriers !!... Read More ››
161 - What dog wears a white coat and does science
experiments?
Labs!... Read More ››
162 - What kind of dog doesn't do well in hot weather?
A faint Bernard!... Read More ››
163 - Why did the dog jump into the sea?
He wanted to
chase the catfish!... Read More ››
164 - Q: How did bulldogs get such flat
noses? - A:
From chasing cars.... Read More ››
165 - Q: What goes "krab, krab, krab"? - A: A dog
barking in a
mirror.... Read More ››
166 - Where did the dog breeder keep his savings ? In
bark-lays
bank !... Read More ››
167 - What is a dog's favourite food ?
Anything that
is on your plate !... Read More ››
168 - What is taller when it sits down than
when it
stands up?
A dog.... Read More ››
169 - Alsation: What is your
favorite holiday?
Chihuahua: Howloween!... Read More ››
170 - Q:
What do you say to a dog before he eats? -
A: Bone appetite!... Read More ››
171 - Q: What did the puppy say when he sat on sand
paper? - A:
RUFF!... Read More ››
172 - How can you tell a dog from an elephant?
The
elephant remembers.... Read More ››
173 - What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?
A short one!... Read More ››
174 - What dog do other dogs go to when they
are
sick?
A docs-hund!... Read More ››
175 - What kind of dog sounds
like you can eat it
?
A sausage dog !... Read More ››
176 - What kind
of pants do you buy for your pet
Chihuahua?
Shorts!... Read More ››
177 - When does a dog go "moo" ?
When it is learning
a new language !... Read More ››
178 - How did the dog feel when he lost his
flashlight?
Delighted.... Read More ››
179 - What did the dog say when he chased his
tail?
This is the end.... Read More ››
180 - When is a black dog not a black dog ?
When
it's a greyhound !... Read More ››
181 - Why did the dog say he was an
actor?
His
leg was in a cast.... Read More ››
182 - Why can't Chihuahuas run marathons?
They're
short of breath!... Read More ››
183 - What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes?
Get a
small hankie!... Read More ››
184 - Q: What kind of dog does a dracula like? - A: A
Bloodhound.... Read More ››
185 - What would you call a nine day old dog in
Russia?
A puppy.... Read More ››
186 - Why is a dog so
warm in Summer?
He wears a
coat and pants.... Read More ››
187 - Where will a springer spaniel never shop?
At a
flea market!... Read More ››
188 - How can if
you have a stupid dog ?
It
chases parked cars !... Read More ››
189 - What do dogs have that
no other animal has
?
Puppy dogs !... Read More ››
190 - What is a dogs favourite flower ?
Anything in
your garden !... Read More ››
191 - What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ?
A
guard dog !... Read More ››
192 - Q: What side of the dog has the most fur? - A: The
Outside.... Read More ››
193 - What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?
A
dingo-ling !... Read More ››
194 - What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog
?
Chump chops !... Read More ››
195 - What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?
A
tennis ball!... Read More ››
196 - What is a collie puppy's favorite toy?
A
chew-chew train!... Read More ››
197 - What dog is always tired in London?
An English
sleep dog.... Read More ››
198 - How can you make a basset hound fast?
Take
away its food!... Read More ››
199 - How do you stop a dog smelling ?
Put a peg on
it's nose !... Read More ››
200 - What kind of dog is a person's best friend?
A
palmatian!... Read More ››
201 - What kind of dog always needs a shave?
A
bearded collie!... Read More ››
202 - What dog always gets on everyone's nerves?
A
great pane!... Read More ››
203 - Q: What's got four legs and no ears?
A: Mike
Tyson's dog.... Read More ››
204 - What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ?
A
petticoat !... Read More ››
205 - Where do Eskimos train
their dogs ?
In the
mush room !... Read More ››
206 - How can you tell a dog from a tomato?
The
tomato is red.... Read More ››
207 - What dog
is a cousin to the Dalmatian?
A
spot-weiler!... Read More ››
208 - What kind of computers do chihuahuas like
best?
Lap-top!... Read More ››
209 - What is a Chihuahua's
favorite sport?
Miniature golf!... Read More ››
210 - What kind of dog is the most colorful?
A paint
Bernard!... Read More ››
211 - What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ?
A bud
hound !... Read More ››
212 - How did the dog make anti-freeze?
He stole her
blanket.... Read More ››
213 - What is a dog's favourite sport ?
Formula 1
drooling !... Read More ››
214 - What dog rides a horse named Macaroni?
Yankee
poodle!... Read More ››
215 - What kind of dog chases anything
red ?
A
bull dog !... Read More ››
216 - How did the dog make gold soup?
He put in 24
carrots.... Read More ››
217 - What did the dog say to the pig?
You are just a
bore.... Read More ››
218 - Which dog looks like a cat?
A police dog in
disguise.... Read More ››
219 - What do you call a black Eskimo dog ?
A dusky
husky !... Read More ››
220 - What dog wears contact lenses ?
A cock-eyed
spaniel !... Read More ››
221 - What is your dog's favorite breakfast?
Pooched eggs!... Read More ››
222 - Who is the dogs favourite comedian ?
Growlcho
Marx !... Read More ››
223 - What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 feet?
A thousand
dogs.... Read More ››
224 - What dog takes the money and runs fast!
A
payhound!... Read More ››
225 - What do you call a happy Lassie ?
A jolly
collie !... Read More ››
226 - What did the dog use to
make his
kite?
Flypaper.... Read More ››
227 - What did the dog use to make his
kite?
Flypaper.... Read More ››
228 - What kind of modeling clay does a dog use?
Fi-Do!... Read More ››
229 - What's a dog favourite hobby ?
Collecting
fleas !... Read More ››
230 - What kind of dog is the smartest?
A great
brain!... Read More ››
231 - What is the dogs
favourite city ?
New
Yorkie !... Read More ››
232 - Which dog is always without
a tail?
A hot
dog.... Read More ››
233 - What do you call a boring
dog?
A
dull-mation!... Read More ››
234 - What is a baseball dog?
One that chases
fowls.... Read More ››
235 - Which dog tastes better when eaten?
A hot
dog.... Read More ››
236 - What kind of dog can tell time?
A
clockshund!... Read More ››
237 - What do you call an alcoholic dog ?
A whino
!... Read More ››
238 - When is a dog most impolite?
When he points.... Read More ››
239 - What dogs never get lost?
Newfound-lands!... Read More ››
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