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The Best Dog Jokes: |
| 1) A local business was
looking for office help.
They put a sign... Show more |
| 2) A man and his dog went into a pub. The barman said
"Sorry mate... Show more |
| 3) Four workers
were discussing how smart their
dogs were. The f... Show more |
| 4) A man is
walking down the street when he hears
a voice, "Psss... Show more |
| 5) Paul got off
the elevator on the 40th floor
and nervously kno... Show more |
| 6) Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by
boat and on... Show more |
| 7) Upon
entering the little country store, the
stranger noticed... Show more |
| 8) A man was very proud of his guard
dog, he would
leave it to r... Show more |
| 9) A man took his Rottweiler to the
vet and said
to him, "My dog... Show more |
| 10) A man and his son were
shovelling the driveway
after a heavy... Show more |
| 11) The front door
was accidentally left open and
our dog was gon... Show more |
| 12) A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to
completel... Show more |
| 13) A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed
three men and... Show more |
| 14) Two women, who are dog owners,
are arguing
which dog is smart... Show more |
| 15) Every time I tell my English Setter to stop
barking, it
never... Show more |
| 16) A hound dog and a dalmation were sitting in an
Internet cafe... Show more |
| 17) I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay.
It's fun
to... Show more |
| 18) A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another
shopper
walke... Show more |
| 19) What artistic dog
chews a lot and follows the
rules of the fa... Show more |
| 20) Why does the Hound of the
Baskervilles turn
round and round b... Show more |
| 21) What do you
get if you cross a labrador and a
tortoise ?
A d... Show more |
| 22) My dog is great at math.
Really ?
Ask him
how much is two m... Show more |
| 23) Why did the dog's owner think his dog
was a
great mathematici... Show more |
| 24) What is brown
and gray, has eight legs, and is
carrying a lar... Show more |
| 25) Why did the dog sleep so poorly?
By mistake he
plugged his ele... Show more |
| 26) When George Washington was a general, why did he
like to have... Show more |
| 27) What did the angry man sing
when he found his
slippers chewed... Show more |
| 28) Alsation: How come
you are always so well
behaved when you go... Show more |
| 29) What is the difference between Father Christmas
and
a warm do... Show more |
| 30) What is the difference between Father
Christmas and a warm do... Show more |
| 31) Small girl: I'd buy that dog, but
his legs
are too short! Cle... Show more |
| 32) If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching
band, what's h... Show more |
| 33) How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry
about having s... Show more |
| 34) How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry
about
having s... Show more |
| 35) Why did the thoughtful father buy his six children
a dachshund?... Show more |
| 36) How do you make a dog
float?
Take two
scoops of ice cream, a... Show more |
| 37) How do you find your dog if
he's lost in the
woods ?
Put you... Show more |
| 38) Why should you never watch a video with a
Chihuahua?
It alw... Show more |
| 39) What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog
?
A dog that ca... Show more |
| 40) When you catch your dog eating a dictionary, what
should you... Show more |
| 41) What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a
hyena ?
I d... Show more |
| 42) What is the best kind of dog to ask for
directions?
A Chihu... Show more |
| 43) What do you get if you cross a dog with a
blind mole ?
A dog... Show more |
| 44) How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped
you to set... Show more |
| 45) What do you get if you cross a dog
with a
kangaroo?
A dog th... Show more |
| 46) What is the difference between a dog and
a
mailbox?
If you d... Show more |
| 47) What did the elephant say when it saw the
Chihuahuas coming d... Show more |
| 48) What is black and white and red all over?
A
Chihuahua in a tu... Show more |
| 49) Q: How do you get a dog to stop
barking in the
back seat of a... Show more |
| 50) What do you get if you cross
a giraffe with a
dog ?
An anima... Show more |
| 51) When is the
most likely time that a stray dog
will walk into... Show more |
| 52) What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off
of the
table... Show more |
| 53) Why did the dog have a gleam in his
eye?
Someone bumped his el... Show more |
| 54) What happened to the dog that fell into a
lens-grinding machi... Show more |
| 55) Would you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or
a tiger?... Show more |
| 56) Q: Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog? - A: So
that they di... Show more |
| 57) What happened to the
dog that ate nothing but
garlic ?
His b... Show more |
| 58) What should you know before you teach your
dog
a new trick?... Show more |
| 59) Q: When's the best time to take your doberman
pinscher for a... Show more |
| 60) What do you get if you cross a dog and a
cheetah ?
A dog tha... Show more |
| 61) What do you call a dog with no legs ?
It
doesn't matter what y... Show more |
| 62) Why is a dog with a lame leg
like adding 6 and
7s?
He puts d... Show more |
| 63) Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you?
Chihuahua:... Show more |
| 64) What do you get if you cross a
computer and a
Rottweiller ?... Show more |
| 65) Why do Chihuahuas have such short
necks?
Because their head... Show more |
| 66) What did the dog do with the history
professor?
They got toget... Show more |
| 67) Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato
fell on
his h... Show more |
| 68) Why didn't the dog play
cards on his ocean
cruise?
Because t... Show more |
| 69) Why didn't the dog
speak to his foot
?
Because it's not poli... Show more |
| 70) What do you
call a litter of young dogs who
have come in from... Show more |
| 71) What is the difference between a barking dog and
an umbrella?... Show more |
| 72) Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ?
Because
it's not polite... Show more |
| 73) Q: When is a strange dog
most likely to go
into your house? -... Show more |
| 74) Why do dogs turn around three
times before
lying down?
One g... Show more |
| 75) Why is a dog like a baseball
player?
He
runs for home when h... Show more |
| 76) Advertisement: Dog for sale. Really gentle. Eats
anything. Es... Show more |
| 77) What did the dog take when he was run down?
The
license number... Show more |
| 78) What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a
dog?
A he... Show more |
| 79) Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? - A:
Because you can... Show more |
| 80) What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell
tall stories... Show more |
| 81) Why is a dog like a baseball player?
He runs
for home when he... Show more |
| 82) What do you get when you cross a collie with a
trumpet?
A L... Show more |
| 83) What do you get if you
cross a dog and a sheep
?
A sheep tha... Show more |
| 84) What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a
dog?
A hen... Show more |
| 85) Why doesn't a dog
ever have a nose 12 inches
long?
Because t... Show more |
| 86) What should you do if you have a basset hound over
for
dinner... Show more |
| 87) What do you get if cross two young dogs with a
pair
of headph... Show more |
| 88) What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats
like
a dog, bu... Show more |
| 89) What is the best kind of dog to direct traffic at
a
busy inte... Show more |
| 90) How do you keep a dog from barking in your
front yard?
Put h... Show more |
| 91) Alsation: Why do you like to go on camping
trips?
Chihuahua... Show more |
| 92) When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs?
Only when th... Show more |
| 93) Q: Why is a dog's nose in the middle of
it's
face? - A: Becau... Show more |
| 94) What do you get if you take a really big dog out
for a walk ?... Show more |
| 95) What did the dog do when the panhandler
put
the bite on him?... Show more |
| 96) Q: What
happened when the dog went to the flea
circus? - A: I... Show more |
| 97) Why is it called a "litter" of
puppies
?
Because they mess u... Show more |
| 98) What happened when the shaggy dog
swallowed a
teaspoon?
He w... Show more |
| 99) What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound
dog
in your... Show more |
| 100) How did the Chihuahua disappear
on the road?
It was using a... Show more |
| 101) Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ?
He
was trying to mak... Show more |
| 102) Why does a d dog scratch himself?
He is the
only one that know... Show more |
| 103) Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into
a lake?... Show more |
| 104) Why do dogs bury bones in
the ground
?
Because you can't bur... Show more |
| 105) I just spotted a Chihuahua!
That wasn't very
nice, you should... Show more |
| 106) How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at
night?
He used... Show more |
| 107) Alsation: I'll see you shortly.
Chihuahua:
Okay, but don't ca... Show more |
| 108) Q: Why did the dog cross the road? - A: Because it
was the ch... Show more |
| 109) Why did the dog wear white sneakers ?
Because
his boots were a... Show more |
| 110) What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a
meal
?
That... Show more |
| 111) What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a
jelly ?
The c... Show more |
| 112) What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an
Australian dog ?... Show more |
| 113) What is worse than a
dog howling at the
moon?
Two dogs howli... Show more |
| 114) What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a
meal ?
That... Show more |
| 115) How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a
monster ?... Show more |
| 116) What dog would you want on your American football
team?
A g... Show more |
| 117) What do you get when you cross a
Doberman with
a bird?
A Do... Show more |
| 118) What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater
?
A plain clothe... Show more |
| 119) Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for
a cat ?
Cats... Show more |
| 120) What place of business helps dogs who have lost
their tails?
A... Show more |
| 121) What is the
best way to follow a lost dog's
paw prints?
Wit... Show more |
| 122) Why do dogs wag their
tails ?
"Because no
one else will do i... Show more |
| 123) How many seasons are there in a dogs life
?
Just one, the moul... Show more |
| 124) Why did the dog mistake the dog catcher for
a
grape?
He was... Show more |
| 125) Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?
To see who sh... Show more |
| 126) What happened when the dog went to the flea circus
?
He stol... Show more |
| 127) What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy
road ?
A mut... Show more |
| 128) What is a dog who crosses the street twice in
an hour?
A dou... Show more |
| 129) Why was the mother flea so unhappy?
All her
children had gone... Show more |
| 130) Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers?
They have... Show more |
| 131) What wears a black, white, and tan coat but has no
hair?
A... Show more |
| 132) Q: What has got four legs and an arm?
- A: A
Rottweiler in a... Show more |
| 133) What is black and white and red all over?
A
Dalmatian with a b... Show more |
| 134) What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid
of?
A Doberma... Show more |
| 135) What kind of dog can you best see in the
dark?
A glowberman... Show more |
| 136) How do
you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a
melon ?
Melon... Show more |
| 137) Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a
keyboard?
They're... Show more |
| 138) Which dog eats with its tail?
All dogs keep
their tails on whe... Show more |
| 139) Alsation: How did you find the fleas?
Beagle:
I didn't! They... Show more |
| 140) Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire?
A.It doesn't
want to become a... Show more |
| 141) Q:
Why does a dog wag it's tail? - A: No one
else will do it... Show more |
| 142) What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a
rose?
A collie-... Show more |
| 143) Where do you usually find dogs?
It all depends
on where you lo... Show more |
| 144) Dad, I spotted a Dalmatian!
No need to, it
already has its ow... Show more |
| 145) How many hairs are in a dog's tail?
None. They
are all on the... Show more |
| 146) Q. What did the dog say when he sat on
sand
paper?
A. "Rough... Show more |
| 147) What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by
684?
The wrong... Show more |
| 148) What should you do if you see a vicious
dog?
Hope he doesn't s... Show more |
| 149) Why did the dog run in circles?
He was a
watchdog and needed w... Show more |
| 150) What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball?
The
Philadelphia B... Show more |
| 151) What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an
elephant?
A... Show more |
| 152) What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?
A complaint Be... Show more |
| 153) What dog sweats the most and drinks the most
water?
A hot-w... Show more |
| 154) What did the cowboy say when the bear ate
Lassie?
"Well, doggo... Show more |
| 155) What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde
?
A jet set... Show more |
| 156) Why do dogs
run in circles ?
Because its
hard to run in squa... Show more |
| 157) What game do 18 dogs like to
play during the
summer?
Woofl... Show more |
| 158) What was the dog doing on the turnpike?
About
seven miles an h... Show more |
| 159) What dogs are best for sending telegrams ?
Wire
haired terrier... Show more |
| 160) What dog wears a white coat and does science
experiments?
L... Show more |
| 161) What kind of dog doesn't do well in hot weather?
A faint Bern... Show more |
| 162) Why did the dog jump into the sea?
He wanted to
chase the catf... Show more |
| 163) Q: How did bulldogs get such flat
noses? - A:
From chasing ca... Show more |
| 164) Q: What goes "krab, krab, krab"? - A: A dog
barking in a
mirr... Show more |
| 165) Where did the dog breeder keep his savings ? In
bark-lays
ban... Show more |
| 166) What is a dog's favourite food ?
Anything that
is on your plat... Show more |
| 167) What is taller when it sits down than
when it
stands up?
A d... Show more |
| 168) Alsation: What is your
favorite holiday?
Chihuahua: Howlowe... Show more |
| 169) Q:
What do you say to a dog before he eats? -
A: Bone appetit... Show more |
| 170) Q: What did the puppy say when he sat on sand
paper? - A:
RUF... |
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